Title: Logical Lily
Author: Zoe Silverbow
Pairing: Lily and James (HP- Marauders Gen)
Disclaimer: Sadly I am not J.K. which you can easily tell by my lack of wealth and talent
Sometimes the world is rather scary,
And we don't know what to do to make the nightmares stop
But air keeps drying our lungs
And love keeps breaking our hearts.
And sometimes in desperation we show the world someone else
Hoping our disguise will help us, hide us, save us...
But in the end,
I only kills us faster
Lily Evans was not the type of girl to ignore the obvious. She didn't break the rules because logically it wasn't worth a detention on her record. She always did exceptionally well in her classes because logically it would help her best improve her chances at future careers. She applied this to every aspect of her life. But this year (ironically her first as Prefect) was different. She caught herself being impulsive, laughing longer and feeling harder and itching to do something against the rules.
Slowly the strict and sensible Lily was slipping away and becoming so much more vibrant, so much more free. She just couldn't make herself feel happy about it yet.
/
"Mary!" said an exasperated though amused voice from the girl's dorms.
"What?" asked another voice in mock innocence.
A red-head entered just as a blonde 5th year threw a pillow at (presumably) Mary's head. But Quidditch drills kicked in and Mary ducked. The pillow continued to sail through the air. With a crash the pillow hit a nightstand and knocked something to the floor. The girl responsible for the well aimed throw rushed to the ceramic puzzle on the floor and turned to the ginger, addressing her for the first time since she'd entered "Lily, your the best at housekeeping charms..." she trailed off. With a joking eye-roll Lily nodded and joined the blonde.
Once she placed the good-as-new cat on the stand it stretched then preceded to curl up and purr. Lily smiled, she knew Kris loved her cats, and though she would never admit it, so did Lily.
"Mar, dare I ask what this cat maiming was about?"
Mary giggled, but Marlene appeared serious except for the smile in her eyes.
"This bint" with a point to Mary "ate all my chocolates!"
"you said I could have some, and I didn't eat all of them-"
"but you ate the rest while I was in the bathroom-"
"be that as it may, it is my responsibility as you friend to prevent you from gaining weight or ruining your teeth"
"Then what of your weight and teeth?" asked Marlene reasonably
"That's neither here nor there" was Mary's only response
And with that they had trouble remaining upright, considering they were laughing hysterically. Just as they were regaining their breath (and possibly their sanity) Lily muttered "I shouldn't have dared".
After that all three of them were on the floor, their bodies shaking with laughter, and the sound of it echoing through the staircase and into the Gryffindor common room.
/
Across the castle a certain James Potter sat in Dumbledore's office awaiting his sentence.
Now for you to understand what is about to happen you must know something about James, he is James Potter. Of course that sounded repetitive and redundant, but its not that simple, it never is.
The thing about James Potter is that he is proud of who he is, some may even say too proud, and most will say arrogant. In truth, James was arrogant, of course he wasn't completely aware of it. As an only child he was spoiled by his (older than average but extremely wealthy) parents. Some say that was the reason for his arrogance, others say it was in his nature. Though the reason for James Potter's arrogance is unclear, the reason for the change was quite obvious. But alas, that is more than you needed to know for now, so allow me to continue
James was at ease sprawled in the chair across from the Headmaster's, he twirled his wand as he ran his fingers through his unruly hair.
"Ahem"
He looked up in surprise and saw Dumbledore seated in his chair. Immediately James straightened but remained relaxed and continued to fiddle with his wand.
"I'm almost certain, James, that you have the record for sitting in that chair" he said, his eyes sparkling.
" Well I'll have to continue, sir, until your certain that is. I would rather not have other students threatening my title"
"Sirius Black already is, which brings me to the cause of your seating arrangement. Multiple Professors have informed me that the newest product from Filibuster's has been set off in random locations around the school" he arched and eyebrow, absent was the smile in his eyes.
"Headmaster you said the word random with a hint of sarcasm, could it be that you were implying something?" James countered
"Sarcasm? Oh no, I wasn't implying a thing. That is unless you feel an implication was necessary on that word..."
"As a matter of fact, I do. You see Headmaster, the Fireworks seem to have only gone off around members of the Slytherin Quidditch team. Rather odd, is it not?"
"Indeed" the twinkle returning to his eyes.
"Being the Quidditch captain of the Gryffindor team I feel threatened."
"Do you?"
"Yes, though if the incidents continue to occurring only around the Slytherin team, then I would be inclined to assume the attacker's target is only the Slytherins."
"As would I Mr. Potter. I'm glad you see it as I do. I'm also led to believe that you agree with me on the topic of unfair fouls. Especially in Gryffindor's latest match against Slytherin." again arching his brow.
"Headmaster why is it that I can never get away with a thing?"
"Oh you know as well as I how much you do get away with. Never the less, detention for a week and try to keep the obviously random explosions to a minimum" he answered with a wink.
Knowing he was dismissed James exited the office and emerged from the gargoyle statue.
A black haired boy met him as he walked down the corridor.
"Headmaster's office, for a few fireworks? They must be getting strict"
"Hardly" James cracked a smile "Padfoot, I cant help prepare for Friday"
"Detention? The whole week?"
James nodded
"But Prongs! Its only Monday! Prongs, its Monday!"
"I hadn't noticed"
"Obviously, because then you would have realized tomorrow is Tuesday"
"Thanks Sirius, but I already know the days of the week-Shit"
"And now he catches on"
"But that's tomorrow, as in less than 24 hours"
Sirius nodded
They exchanged a look and sprinted the rest of the way to the 5th year dorms.
/
Lily's side ached from laughing so hard, but she was still smiling at the memory as she walked down the staircase to the common room. She crossed the carpet to her favorite armchair. She loved it because she could see the owlery through the window and it was also the perfect distance from the fire's warmth. She settled down and began to work on her potions essay. She finished all of her work (and some of tomorrows) in a few hours, she reached to place it all back in her bag when she caught sight of Remus. She jumped up and check the time.
It was 11:14 pm.
She knew she was early but she sill ran up to him and gave him a hug.
He was clearly taken off guard but he hugged her back after realizing who it was. Pulling away Lily smiled at her fellow prefect.
"Happy almost Birthday mate"
Remus laughed.
"I'm not surprised that you would be the one to think of it"
"Well its your birthday! How could I not?"
"I mean you would wish me a 'Happy Birthday' an hour before it was technically the day of my birth" she cocked an eyebrow "but of course I'm not complaining"
She checked her watch "45 minutes if you must be exact, but I'd use that time wisely."
"what do you mean"
"I mean good luck tomorrow. You'll need it with those friends of yours" she smirked at his expression of fake fear.
Grabbing her bag she headed up to the 5th year dorms "see ya on your birthday"
With a smile he shuffled over to the couch across from the fireplace and flopped down. He stared into the fire until midnight.
At 12:01 he murmured "Welcome to 11 years of lycanthropy"
With that he went to his dorm and passed out, he'd need the sleep for Friday...
/
Lily Evans' philosophy in life is that one should never rise before the sun, and even if it has, sleep should remain the topmost priority.
But at Hogwarts Lily could never completely follow her rules of life, maybe this is because Hogwarts was a place of magic, a place where rules were not meant to be followed...not that Lily was aware of that yet. But whatever the reason, Lily had the inability to stop herself from rolling out of bed on days of classes, and even if there weren't she found herself rising before noon (which is unusual as far as her family is concerned). She reasoned that she was always anticipating the magic in store for her throughout the day and didn't dare miss it.
So that's why at 7:15 on March 10, 1976 Lily could be found in the Great Hall staring into her bowl of cereal.
Her staring contest was lost 5 minutes later with the help of Marlene, who proceeded to sit next to Lily and join her in the robotic motions of eating breakfast. This routine was interrupted by a sudden commotion by the doors, Lily and Marlene looked up only to find the Marauders, this surprised neither girl so both returned to their respective breakfasts.
The next thing to intrude on their silence was Mary.
"Good Morning Gals" She said in what Lily thought to be an altogether too cheery tone, so all she got in reply was a mumbled "gahhhh".
Marlene however gave a slight smile and a nod, for she was more of a morning person than Lily.
Of course this proved nothing, because one could argue that anyone was more of a morning person than Lily.
Thankfully Lily was not expected to speak, due to the arrival of Kristilla and Mary, who were in their house and year. Soon after they were seated Diana, the last 5th year girl, joined the Gryffindors. This meant Lily did not have to attempt conversation, at least until the holy hour of 7:30 when coffee is served.
As soon as her mug appeared The red-head pounced on it, Kristilla saw this enthusiastic display and began to laugh, partially from amusement, partially from exhaustion.
Now, the strawberry blonde's laugh is absolutely gorgeous, the side effect being that its contagious, which is why as soon as Lily looked up at the sound, Diana joined in. The thing about Diana, is that she's beautiful, beautifully striking. Her dark hair contrasts her sparkling blue eyes, which seem to laugh along with her when her gorgeous and infectious smile spreads across her face.
With this in mind, added to the fact that most of Hogwarts had gotten little rest recently, its not surprising that a few moments later the entire Great Hall (excluding the Slytherins) was either smiling, chuckling or full out laughing. Even Lily in her grumpy morning state couldn't help but smile.
Soon everyone had settled down and Lily was drinking her coffee while carrying on civil conversation with her roommates. Then a crowd seemed to move towards the 5th year girls. Looking up they found that this crowd was simply the Marauders and their entourage making their way to the table. The Marauders, is the collective name for James, Sirius, Remus and Peter.
"Evans"
"Morning Potter, and to what, do I owe this honor?" her voice dripping with sarcasm
"The amazing James Potter that is, but I didn't ruin my morning to see you drool over me, its just that I have a problem"
"I know, you have many but why are you bringing them to me, Sirius would much rather hear of your girls troubles, or guys troubles...its not my place to judge"
"Jealous that more guys have asked me out than you? Well it all right jealousy suits you"
"You would know the number of blokes who have fancied me, considering you stalk me"
"Don't flatter yourself"
"I was stating fact"
"Here's another one: your bloody bag is in my way"
It was true that Lily's bag was on the bench a decent way away, where the Marauders typically sat, but his obnoxious and imperious attitude was unnecessary. On the other hand it was a well know fact that James enjoys pissing Lily off, especially in the morning. The main reasons being that shes grumpy and, that she cant hex him to oblivion if she gets too angry because the teachers are in the Great Hall 'enjoying' their breakfast as well.
But just in case, before Lily could do anything drastic, Sirius intruded. "Comon Prongs, Its Moony's birthday, no need get Red all riled up, besides the explosions are for later" he added, with a wink in the girls direction.
Breakfast continued and concluded with nothing notable, everything was as per usual. But in case one was wondering what the norm at Hogwarts was, Here are the highlights:
Lily was approached by a few stammering 1st and 2nd years and asked out by a 5th year (who now has a date to Hogsmeade)
Kristlla's Boyfriend came by, a 6th year Ravenclaw, Micheal Dearborn.
Diana's ex tried to talk to her, which turned into a 'heated discussion' that ended in him passing her a note, and her smiling to herself.
A few Slytherins jeered at Marlene so she flipped them off as Remus sent a hex their way.
Sirius loudly and romantically propositioned Mary, who laughed and wittily rejected him. He then got dramatically slapped by an ex, a 4th year Gryffindor who moments later attempted to snog him senseless. (attempted being the operative word)
All, while girls openly stared at James Potter and Alec Riley.
Just another average meal, sadly all the fun was interrupted at 8:30 by classes.
/
Ancient Runes was Lily and Remus' first class, for they were the only ones crazy enough to take it. The class itself was not terrible, simply difficult and therefore hard to follow. The "sensible" Gryffindors had either Divination or Charms first period, then Herbology, except Mary and Sirius who had Practical Magic Training and Herbology after Lunch. Lunch of course was just as uninteresting as Breakfast, so I wont bore you with the details, just the essentials:
Peter gets rejected
Clara rejects a Hufflepuff (in the sweetest way possible)
Sirius, Emma and Mary cram for a History of Magic Exam (something about Goblin Wars)
James entertains himself by chucking biscuits at unsuspecting students, and is finally stopped by Lily's Prefect title.
Classes follow this mayhem, which are later concluded by an early supper at 7 and time in the Common Room.
/
The 4 Marauders sat near the fire in the common room playing a game of Gobstones. They were enjoying it more than the average person would, the reason being that they are the Marauders, simple as that.
Weather you believe in fate or not, there is no way you can deny that the Marauders were destine to be friends. If you took all expectations and stereotypes into account:
there would have been 3 less Gryffindors on September 1st 1971.
James Potter and Sirius Black's meeting would have been irrelevant, Remus with his brains would have been sorted into Ravenclaw and simple, fearful Peter would have been in Hufflepuff.
But for some reason Slyterin didn't gain another Black that night...instead Gryffindor gained its first. Remus's bravery and loyalty to those he loved was acknowledged and Peter...well even Dumbledore admits that sometimes they sort too soon. But perhaps it was on purpose, and the Sorting Hat knew of what would come to pass. Perhaps it was necessary. We can't truly know that the Marauders were meant to be, but they are the closest thing you can get to believing in fate. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were destined to be friends, and become the Marauders...
who intended to get sloshed that evening.
/
She hadn't expected to drink, it was never something she'd seriously considered. And yet there she sat on a couch in that once abandoned classroom, humming a long to a non-existent tune. Marlene skipped over laughing.
"Lily, your pissed"
The red-head smiled "I know, its not half-bad".
They broke into hysterics, Marlene's only half drunkenly.
Lily didn't remember Marlene leaving but when she looked up the blonde was nowhere in Lily's hazed sight. She stood wobbling slightly on her three-inch heels. Regaining her balance, she walked toward the dance floor with purpose. Of what exactly she was unsure, but she walked with it anyway.
When she reached the dancers she realized the dance floor no longer served this purpose. So she zigzagged around its perimeter and ended up at the refreshments. The table was against the cold stone wall where many desks stacked precariously to her left, which was the only indication that the room sheltering the party was in fact an old classroom.
Lily knew she needed something and yet she couldn't place what. Just as she began to ponder her exact need, a figure bumped her. She spun around, all too quickly, so that her head spun slightly as well. When her vision refocused she was level with a pair of glasses framing hazel eyes. Of course the color did not register in her alcohol drowned mind, nor did their owner at first. She giggled; a sound that would never escape her mouth sober.
"Potter" she said with a smile, for the first time.
His eyes sparkled behind the glass.
"Evans" he replied, straightening, bringing her eye-level to his nose.
"What are you doing here Potter?" another uncharacteristic giggle
"I could ask the same of you" he slurred
She moved to take a step back when instead she tripped, and her ankle twisted to an odd angle.
When she righted herself there was a dull pain in her foot. She sharply took in breath. Noticing her pain James helped her out of the room and into the corridor.
"I need to sit, you idiot" she said through her teeth, for walking with her foot was painful
"OK, OK, whatever you say Princess" he said with mocking.
"Don't speak to me like I'm a child with-with, no notions of the w-world is Potter. My need to seat is completely and honestly absolutely logical" her words were not as steady as she would have liked them, but she was satisfied with the message.
James on the other hand was not.
His feet halted, bringing her to a stop against his body, and his tone when he began to speak was cold and accusing. "Of Course, how could I forget the Perfection that is Lily Evans, with her lovely kind heart and her unarguable and ever so logical mind. How in Merlin's name could I forget about her flawless ability to always be right!?" his eyes burned into hers'. "But wait, shes not perfect, shes rather broken, in more ways then one" his canines shone as his eyes darted between hers' and to her foot, "She knows, doesn't she? She knows that she doesn't want to always do what shes told, and yet she always stands by her stereotype. Isn't that right logical Lily?" At this point they were so close she could count his eyelashes and for a moment she had the unreasonable desire to do just that, but she shook herself. His eyes were trained on hers, searching.
"Fine" She longed to know what he had found "lets fix your damn foot Lily Evans."
She didn't have enough will to retort so she bit her tongue, which was a first. They found an actually abandoned classroom and went in.
She tripped again, but this time he caught her before she sustained any more damage. James then helped her onto one of the desks in the room, because there was a absence of chairs. Lily flopped back on it giggling hysterically. She lay there for awhile, and might of fallen asleep if it weren't for a sudden pain in her foot. Sitting up, she realized she didn't feel the sharp pain anymore, in fact she didn't feel any pain in her foot anymore. She glanced down and gave a surprised gasp. It was straight and definitely not swollen, she looked at Potter in amazement.
"I didn't know you were any good at healing spells"
"You pick them up when you play Quidditch" he replied with a slight blush.
Of course Lily's still far from sober mind didn't pay heed to this
"Really? hmm, way to brag and bring your Quidditch captain title into everything. Unless of course you were implying you get injured a lot, which means...it means... you play badly?"
Her retort ended more like a question due to her drunken state. His eyes sparked like they always do when he and Lily fought, though not as focused as usual.
"It's your fault when I do get injured, that ginger mess you call hair is like a warning sign...a horrid distraction."
Clearly neither was at their best, comeback wise.
Lily blinked "are you calling me a distraction?"
He leaned against the desk opposite the one on which she was perched. "What do you mean by distraction?"
"You called me one so it you who should tell me." she quipped.
He smirked but not the slightly cruel one she was used too, this was more of a half-smile...flirtatious even.
"Aren't you the know it all?" was his response.
She leaned toward him "Maybe, But your the one who claims to know everything"
"I do"
"Well then, here's your chance to prove it"
His half-smile faded, but not in a unkind way. He stepped away from the desk, and towards her. "What is it I need to know, to prove to you the truth?" he asked, and took a step closer so that he was only a centimeter away from her knees.
"Everything" the smirk returned "but if I make a wish you should be able to tell what it was" now it was her turn to smirk.
"Fine, make your wish" she closed her green eyes.
When they opened, his hazel ones were closer than she remembered, staring into hers.
He took another step closer.
Her breath hitched (from the Fiewhiskey of course)
He was leaning into the desk, between her legs, which had shifted during the encounter.
She looked up at him.
"I can't grant your wish" he whispered.
Her eyes bored into his "What was it then?"
He tilted his head down and rested his forehead on her's.
"You didn't make one"
"Sort of" she replied, twining her arms around his neck.
"Sort of?"
"I wished you would think I didn't make a wish" she smirked at the last word.
His eyes narrowed, coming closer "You sneaky-"
He was cut off by her lips as they crashed together
It was unclear who kissed who first, and this fact would of course be later debated, but at the moment all either could think about was snogging the other.
She ran her fingers madly through the hair she adamantly hated, while his hands wrapped around her waist and found their way under her shirt. She leaned into him more and gently biting her lip, he pressed himself closer to her. Which made her moan slightly and draw him closer still with her legs, that had found themselves around his waist.
Suddenly an explosion rang through the air, and they practically jumped apart.
"Fuck"
When she swore his eyes widened in surprise and his lips parted, and for a moment she couldn't tell if he was going to kiss her again or pass out. To her grave disappointment he did neither, for of course she was hoping for the latter..
They were both breathing heavier than before and she could feel her heart flutter in her chest. She could feel it straining against her breast and she had the most peculiar thought that it was trying to get closer to James. To nestle in his rib and be protected by his bones. To be part of him, in his blood and veins and breath. That she herself wanted all these things, to curl up in his skin and be consumed by his lips. The same pink ones that had been teasing her's moments ago. She almost swore again. She'd never had such an odd reaction to alcohol, not that she'd ever really drunk before...but still.
So she settled on muttering "Sobering Charm?"
He confirmed her statement with a nod and responded "Sobering Charm"
James quickly backed away from the desk and drew his wand. Lily drew hers with a less steady hand but her voice and her magic were as strong as ever. When both were significantly less intoxicated Lily jumped off the desk and walked across the room to him.
"Potter" his eyebrows went up "whatever the hell that was," her right hand vaguely motioned towards the desk where she had been seated moments ago, and was incidentally the place they had been snogging "it didn't happen, because if you so much as breathe a word that indicates it did, you will find yourself in some interesting 'coincidental' situations" her eyes burned "So don't breathe a word, matter fact don't breathe at all, it would make life much easier. Understand, Potter?"
"What are you talking 'bout Evans? Embarrassed you hurt your ankle and I was able to fix it?" then leaning closer, as she instinctively backed away, he smirked "trust me I wish that hadn't happened more than you do" and for a moment there seemed to be something other than malice in his eyes. But then again, Lily thought, things aren't always as they seem.
BOOM
Another explosion, this time less intimidating, so with a glare at Potter, Lily sprinted out of the room and headed toward the party which just happened to be where the explosions were coming from.
When she entered she noted there were some stray fireworks bouncing around the walls. She turned as James walked in, he gave her a familiar smirk, the slightly cruel one, but for the first time she noticed his eyes remained soft as they rested on her. But she didn't have a chance to analyze it for at that moment the real display began.
All the candles that had been floating stratigically around the room, began to artfully combust, she gasped and smiled. He brushed his fingers up her arm and with a feather light touch of his lips on hers she felt her spine freeze and a warmth simultaneously spread through her. Then with a wink, he disappeared into the crowd.
Lily returned her focus to the fireworks, the colors and lights were beautiful, it was brilliant and all together over the top. Yet, Lily was intrigued, she couldnt tear her eyes away from these beautiful sparks that were against the rules, dangerous and unpredictable.
As a Prefect...as someone logical and responsible she should do something to stop this.
As a maturing adult with responsibility and taste she should have walked away from such a childish display
But as Lily the only this she wanted to do was watch. And for the first time she didn't care that her desires didn't align with those that were expected of her.
So she ignored expectation by doing exactly that, and when the music began again she danced under the explosions until the last of them faded away.
Sometimes we show the world what we think it wants from us
We put on a show
Pretending we're dumb, mean, loving, logical
But we're not
We just wish we were
We want them to believe its true
But it burns out our light
Much quicker than life typically should
The lies and cages hold and confine us
We forget how to breathe...
Then someone sees through us,
lets us remind the world that we are free spirits
And Sometimes...that's all you need
A/N: I wrote this a long time ago, originally its what my big Marauders fic was going to be, but i decided it wasn't something i wanted to expand upon. It was borderline naive in my opinion at the time. Now i rather like it, so i went back and edited it. I quite like how it turned out.
Also, I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooo incredibly sorry that this is the first time I've posted in almost a year, its just kinda how life ended up working out. which is a terrible excuse, but admittedly, its the truth.
Reviews are like hugs from people you miss dearly
xoxo
-Zoe