Hey, world. I hope you enjoy this stupid fanfic, because I literally made it up on the spot and couldn't help myself. After seeing a whole lot of Link/Ghirahim fanfics appear lately, I just simply had to write this down. I am not out here to piss people off, just to laugh (even though, personally, I am not a BL fan.) Anyway, no hate, and enjoy!

Link: Um.. I'm sorry, but what did you ask?

Interviewer: How do you feel about FanFiction and the Boy Love fanfics of you and Ghirahim.

Ghirahim: (looking at the camera) Is that thing seriously on?

Link: What kind of sick person are you?

(To the Producer)

Interviewer: Tell me, sir, God Of All Video Games and Your Epicness, what are you're thoughts?

Producer: Nani kore? Anata wa baka desu! BL wo desuka? NANI KORE?

Interviewer: I see. Very interesting.

(Back to Link and Ghirahim)

Ghirahim: Me liking him? Sure, as a friend, but as a boyfriend…. I still can't see it. Sure I wear makeup, but it's all for the game!

Link: Seriously, do we even look compatible? It's like those crack pairings with me and some freak like Ganondorf, but these have gone beyond that point.

Ghirahim: I've already been called Debbie the Fabulous, how do you think that made me feel?

Link: I mean, it's already enough that Maannga makes me look like an ass in that stupid series, but come on, Nintendo doesn't even give me a voice! All I seem to manage to squeak out is a stupid "hiyah!"

Ghirahim: Yeah, I mean, come on. When Nintendo asked me to do that stupid tongue thing in our first scene, how do you think I felt? Happy? Look, dudes, and no offense Link-

Link: None taken.

Ghirahim: I just don't swing that way. Do you think I wanted the world to think that? When Nintendo suggested it, I stayed in my trailer for a week.

Link: Yeah, we were getting a little worried there.

Ghirahim: Sorry about that, but I had to voice my anger.

Interviewer: (Over to Zelda) And how do you feel about this?

Zelda: Honestly? How do I feel about this? How do you think I feel?

Interviewer: Erm… I don't know…

Zelda: Look, it beats reading this Zelink fanfics all the time. I can't tell if people want us to be lovers or siblings. I get a little woozy when I read the ones where I have kids. I'm sorry, but I'm still a child. I'm not ready to even think about that.

Interviewer: (Over to Fi) Your thoughts?

Fi: (Blinks) On what?

Interviewer: Um… fanfics on Link and Debbie being gay.

Fi: Oh, those? Please, do you think I have time for that kind of crap? With me suing Nintendo and all? I don't give a damn about Link's personal life. I mean, I spent over 150 hours with him. I think that's longer than any other Link partner. I've seen enough of his personal life to last me for ages.

Interviewer: You mentioned suing Nintendo?

Fi: Who wouldn't when you're personality is deprived? Wouldn't you get tired of making up probabilities on the spot? I can't count the number of times I had to redo a scene because the producer hated the numbers I came up with. And they erase me. They don't even kill me, they just make it so it's like I never existed. Ouch, talk about hating on your employees.

Interviewer: Sounds tough.

Fi: I'll say, and now I managed to be even more annoying than Navi. Aren't I just proud? Nintendo, if you're listening, you can kiss my sorry blue a…

Interviewer: (Over to a Zora) Do you have anything to say about that?

Zora: I'm five. I don't know what you are talking about.

Interviewer: I'm talking about Link and Ghirahim being gay.

Zora: (Blinks) What's.. gay?

Interviewer: Well, gay is…

Zelda: (cutting in) What are you doing?

Interviewer: Erm… asking this Zora.

Zelda: The Zora don't even appear in Skyward Sword, you jack ass.

Zora: (tearing up) I wanted to be in it… but they only allowed… (breaking out into sobs) GORONS! WAAAAHHHHH!

(back to Link and Ghirahim)

Link: Flying?

Interviewer: Yes, tell me about you're flying. Was it fun to be on a Loftwing?

Link: Sure it was fun. If being on a large painted ostrich that tried to eat me and poops nonstop counts as "fun."

Ghirahim: Dude, did you even fly?

Link: They had me on wires riding a fake plastic model. The wind was from stupid fans.

Ghirahim: But aren't you changing the subject. I thought this interview was about those fanfics.

Interviewer: Well… I thought you wanted to change the subject.

Link: Well, you thought WRONG!

(to Demise)

Interviewer: Um… shouldn't you put the pink bunny down?

Employee: (whispering on camera) It helps him keep calm.

(Demise looks around, terrified)

Interviewer: Oh. (Cough)… so, tell me, Demise. How do you feel about your sword and your enemy being together?

Demise: (stares)

Interviewer: Er…

(to Groose and Old Impa)

Groose: Link and Ghirahim? TOGETHER? Ha HA! That's just rich. You know, that is the first thing I thought of when I saw that tongue scene!

Impa: No it wasn't.

Groose: (whispering) Shut up, grandma, I'm trying to look cool…

Impa: Call me grandma again, and I will kick your sorry a…

(to Link's Loftwing)

Loftwing: KIYAAAAAHHHHH!

(back to Link and Ghirahim)

Link: Hey, did you know that they wanted to do a Lion King ½ reference? They were so close to doing it, too!

Ghirahim: Oh yeah! If it wasn't Fi, the game would be screwed.

(Almost in game)

Link: (singing) Dig a tunnel, dig dig a tunnel. When you're done you dig a bigger tunnel. Dig a tunnel, dig dig a tunnel. Quick before Ghirahim comes…

Mogma: DIG!

Fi: (stares in horror) What. Is. This. CRAP?

(back to interviewer)

Link: I (places a hand on his forehead)… am going to have nightmares.

Ghirahim: (Pats his back) I'm here for you.

(To Demise)

Demise: (holding his bunny tighter) To..together?

Interviewer: Yeah, you know. Link and Ghirahim bleep and bleep like when two lovers bleep normally.

Demise: Re… really?

Interviewer: Yeah. What are your thou….

Demise: (Sudden flames around his body) GHIRAHIM, I WILL RIP YOUR EFFING HEART OUT!

Employee: (you can hear as the camera falls over) DEMISE! PINK BUNNY! THINK PINK BUNNY!

(back to Link and Ghirahim)

Link: Well, as you can see, we really don't appreciate you having us together.

Ghirahim: Yeah, try putting me with someone else instead, like Karane.

Link: Wait.. Ghirahim… Karane is taken.

Ghirahim: Really?

Link: Yeah, she and Pipit really hooked up.

Ghirahim: No way, really? Dude, I didn't get to congratulate them yet.

Link: Do it after the interview.

Ghirahim: Sounds good.

(To Demise)

Demise: (stares at his ripped pink bunny, slight tears in his eyes) Bunny…

Interviewer: Sigh.

(Back to Impa and Groose)

Impa: (Screaming and chasing Groose) COME BACK HERE, YOU WHIPPERSNAPPER!

Groose: (Screams)

(Suddenly, Link's Loftwing attacks Impa, and she falls over, knocked out. Behind her, Link with his harp and Fi appear, and Fi begins to sing.)

Fi: Grandma got ran over by a Loftwing…

(Groose finds himself begin chased by the Loftwing, the Zora child is sobbing in the corner, Demise is burning with hatred for whoever killed his pink bunny, and Tingle is floating in the middle of it all shouting "MR. FAIRY!" Ghirahim, standing by the camera, notices it staring at the sight.)

Ghirahim: The producer has had them practice singing for a year. They haven't broken the habit yet.

(An old man walks onto the stage. The camera turns to look at him.)

Interviewer: Um.. who are you.

Man: (Raspy high old voice) I am Link from Ocarina of Time. I've come to say hi… Hi.

Interviewer: The legendary Hero of Time! Tell me, oh great hero, what do you think of your ancestor going out with Ghirahim.

(Link stares at the chaotic scene for five minutes before replying)

Link: Well… it's nice to not be reading those Shiek/Link fanfics all the time.

(Another Link appears, a little younger but still just as old as OoT Link)

New Link: You think you have it bad? I have to stand reading about going out with myself, all four of me!

(Off in the distance, a strange statue stands alone, a perfect, creepy smile glued to his face, as laughing rang out from a creepy, red haired salesman…)

Voice: You shouldn't have done that.

Thanks for reading this crap. I like reviews. Reviews are pretty. Shiny… Shiny reviews…. I like to know what people are thinking. MUST. IMPROVE. MY. CRAPPY. SKILLS. If you liked this, I suppose I could make more, but that probably won't be the case, knowing the world... I'm sorry, World, for making terrible pieces of art. (dramatic tears towards a sunset)

Please, no hate if you like the crack pairing stuff. This was just for fun.