Second upload this week, i'm on a roll!

This is just a random one shot kinda following the promos but kinda not. Idk i just got bored.

Disclaimer: i still don't own degrassi.

Clare's POV

"You loved him!" He raised his voice at me. I hated that, I hated know that this wasn't Eli and was some monster he created in his mind.

"Why would you invade my privacy, what's your problem?" I kept my voice lower than his because I knew that ticked him off.

"I am not the problem Clare, you are." And with that he stood up and almost walked out of my life forever.

I knew if I didn't say something that I would look back on this moment and wonder 'what if'?

What if I stopped him?

What if I didn't yell at him and just let him yell at me?

What if I never wrote that stupid diary entry months ago?

"Eli, wait."

I can't wonder what if when I have a chance to change something now.

"What?" He spat at me harshly.

"Here" I handed him the diary, "I'm giving you a day to finish reading this, since you obviously didn't. Call me if you want to."

Instead of watching him leave and feel my heart breaking, I stood up and left to start my 15 minute walk home.

Eli's POV

April 3rd –

I hate when people say relationships aren't perfect because I want to always think otherwise. My definition of perfect is when your soul mate knows they are your soul mate. The feeling in the pit of your stomach when you finally see them after a long day. The kisses you share out in the cold that warm up your whole body. The way they finish your sentences when you are speechless. That is perfect to me. Not crying yourself to sleep because you are afraid that a drug deal went wrong or the feeling when you look at him and know that he did something he isn't proud of. The worst part is Eli knows he is slowly becoming imperfect; and we both hate it.

Everything in the past couple weeks haven't been perfect but we are both striving for perfection.

-CE

I never knew she felt like that. In my head I thought everything I was doing what right even though everything I was doing was way wrong.

I felt like an idiot sitting there on the couch. A huge idiot. For the past 3 days I ignored Clare and thought of a way to call her out on the whole sleeping with Jake thing but I never finished reading past that entry. Of course finding her diary, let alone opening it was a huge mistake but on top of that I yelled at her.

I hated yelling at Clare. Yelling at the one you love is the worse feeling ever.

I took a second look at the date on the top of the entry, April 3rd, just four days ago. Actually the day before I accidentally took her diary.

Right now I was at a stand still, there was the easy way or the hard way; either call Clare or just ignore her and keep her mad at me till she goes mentally insane and comes to me. Of course me being Eli Goldsworthy I have to pick the hard way.

Without even calling her first I took the keys to my dads car and made my way over to Clare's house. It wasn't that long of a walk but I needed to talk to her as soon as possible and I knew Bullfrog would understand.

As I pulled up in the driveway I noticed the work truck wasn't there so that meant Glen wasn't home but Helen was. I wasn't sure how Helen would like it if I showed up at 9:40pm on a school night but I didn't really care. Thankfully when I knocked Clare answered and I hoped her hide my nervousness well enough.

"Can we talk Clare?"

I watched Clare very cautiously as she looked over her shoulder to silently ask her mom if it was alright. As she opened the door wider I took the hint that it was okay if I came in. I took my shoes off like I did every other time wishing that it was a subtle hint to Clare that I was going to be staying for a while. I followed her up to her room and took a seat on her bed. I had no clue how this was going to work out at the moment.

Clare's POV

"What do you want Eli?" I took the spot next to him on my bed.

"To apologize; I didn't mean to yell at you."

"That's not why I'm mad." I tried to read his eyes but I wasn't getting anything. There was no emotion.

I was hoping that he took his meds before he came over because I didn't want anything to happen to the point that my mom would come upstairs to make him leave.

"Then why are you mad?" He asked. Clearly he was confused.

I knew he knew that it was wrong of him to take my diary and he knew I knew that he didn't mean to and was just being curious by looking into it. Truth is I had nothing to hide; I honestly thought he knew about everything that happened between Jake and I and why we broke up. I mean most of the school knew, even though Eli wasn't part of the people that cared what was going on with others I thought he would know.

"I'm mad because you went through my privacy and yelled at me about something that happened almost a year ago." I paused and tried to read his eyes again but nothing. I continued "Why did you even get mad in the first place?"

He paused for a moment before continuing.

"I guess I thought Jake was just a rebound guy for me. I didn't think you actually loved him enough to go that far to actually sleep with him. To be honest Clare, I was more jealous than mad."

"If I recall the first 3 months of our first relationship were all about Julia. You don't think I was jealous. Everything you did was because of her. I was second to a dead pers—" I stopped and instantly wished I could take back what I just said. Sure at the time I was pissed off but it wasn't anymore and I just brought back a topic that didn't need to be brought up. "I didn't mean it that way."

"No, you're right. That wasn't cool of me to do. I shouldn't have been that way before; and I shouldn't have been that mad at you today. I should have just put myself in your shoes." He stopped playing with his hands.

"Can we just pretend the past week didn't happen? I would really like that."

"Yes, please." He nodded in agreement and took my hands. I faced him better and sat Indian style.

As he started to lean in, I pulled back.

"Not that fast Eli. You promise to talk to me before you freak out on me over the little things?"

"I promise, as long as you do the same." We both nodded our heads and he kissed me softly.

Before I even got to enjoy the first kiss between us in four days I heard my mother coming up the stairs.

"it's 10pm, time for Eli to go home."

"Of course it is."

Hours passed since Eli left and I was lying awake in my bed unable to sleep thinking about everything that happened today. I grabbed my diary that was on my nightstand and started writing.

April 8th

Today started off terrible but it ended on a good note. We are finally, in our own way, perfect. Throughout everything I have learned one thing with Eli: expect the unexpected…. And I am perfectly fine with that.

fin.

don't forget to review

-LL