DISCLAIMER: FFIX and all its related characters, including Eiko Carol, are the property of Squaresoft.
FFIX: El Viaje Misterioso del Nuestro Zidane
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - EVENING
ZIDANE AND DAGGER are talking together in their bedroom. Zidane is standing next to a mirror, while Dagger is sat on the bed.
DAGGER
"Oh, Zidane, do you really have to go out tonight?"
ZIDANE
(Adjusting his clothes)
"Dagger, I thought you were okay with this. You said you were okay with this."
DAGGER
"I know, I know. But we hardly ever spend any time together lately. I was hoping we could get romantic tonight."
ZIDANE
(Combing his hair)
"Aw, how cute."
DAGGER
(Upset)
"Zidane!"
ZIDANE
"Chill! I wasn't being sarcastic!"
DAGGER
"Zidane, I'm sorry. I just hate hanging around here while you're out doing... What are you doing anyway?"
ZIDANE
"You forgot? I'm going out for a night on the town with my friends from Tantalus, remember?"
DAGGER
"Oh, yes."
ZIDANE
"I'd ask you to come, but, you know...?"
DAGGER
"..."
ZIDANE
"Look, I'll try not to get too drunk, okay? And I'll be back later, so we'll snuggle tomorrow, I promise."
He kisses her on the cheek.
DAGGER
"Alright. Well, have a nice time."
ZIDANE
"Don't worry. I will."
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - EVENING
MARCUS AND BLANK are hanging around outside the castle.
BLANK
"Man, where the hell is Zidane? He said he'd be here at 8:00pm sharp!"
MARCUS
"Calm down, Blank. He'll be here soon, I'm sure of it."
BLANK
"He better be! I need a drink!"
Zidane appears behind them.
ZIDANE
"Hey, dudes! You ready?"
BLANK
"Zidane! About time, dammit! You're late!"
ZIDANE
"Whoa, relax, Blank. I'm only 5 minutes late."
BLANK
"And whose drinkin' time do you think you're wastin'?!"
Blank runs off towards the town.
MARCUS
"Don't worry 'bout him, Zidane. You know what Blank's like when it comes to the booze."
ZIDANE
"Tell me about it! Remember that time he drunk that barrel full of beer?"
MARCUS
"...Barrel full of beer? Uh, Zidane, it was actually YOU that drunk that barrel of beer. We had to send you to drink rehab to sober up, 'member?"
ZIDANE
(Ignoring him)
"Let's go get drunk!"
INT. ALEXANDRIA TAVERN - EVENING
BAKU AND CINNA are drinking at the bar. Zidane, Marcus and Blank walk in and join them.
BAKU
"Yer late!"
BLANK
"Blame Zidane!"
BAKU
(To the barkeep)
"Hey, three more beers over here!"
Zidane, Marcus and Blank all sit at the bar. The barkeep gives them their beers. They start to drink.
ZIDANE
"Ah! Now that's a good beer!"
CINNA
"Alexandria makes the best beer, huh? I love it here!"
BAKU
"Shut yer hole, Cinna! We'd be drinkin' in Lindblum if it wasn't fer Zidane here."
ZIDANE
"Huh?"
BAKU
"Look at ya! Livin' the high life here in the big city!"
ZIDANE
"What are you implyin', Boss?"
BAKU
"Shaddup! Ya got no right to call me "Boss" anymore!"
MARCUS
"B-Boss, calm down!"
BAKU
"No! I wanna know sumthin' from Mister Bigshot here!"
MARCUS
"Boss, please, just leave it."
BAKU
"Ya wanna get yer ass kicked, Marcus?!"
Marcus hangs his head in shame.
BAKU
"Thought not! Now, Mister Bigshot..."
CINNA
"You talkin' to me, Boss?"
BAKU
"No! I'm talkin' to monkey-boy here!"
ZIDANE
(To Cinna)
"I think he means Blank."
BAKU
"You were my favourite, y'know, Zidane?"
ZIDANE
"Really? Thanks!"
BAKU
(Drunk)
"I ain't finished yet! Remember when ya left Tantalus all those months ago to go off with yer princess? When you did that, you made me the most depressed guy in the entire world. I never thought I'd ever git over your disappearence, but I did, and now I give thanks to the lord. Barkeep, five more beers here!"
ZIDANE
(To Blank)
"Okay, that was a little strange..."
BLANK
(Drunk)
"W-Wha? Y-You call me a punk?!"
ZIDANE
"Uh, no, I said that was strange."
BLANK
(Drunk)
"W-Wha? Y-You call me a punk?!"
ZIDANE
"Uh, no, I said that was strange."
BLANK
(Drunk)
"W-Wha? Y-You call me a punk?!"
ZIDANE
(Sigh)
"You're a punk, Blank."
BLANK
(Drunk)
"Yeah, I agree that was strange."
MARCUS
"So, Zidane, how're things at the castle?"
ZIDANE
"Eh, can't complain. I got a great girlfriend, a nice bed, a future mother-in-law from hell. It could be worse."
CINNA
(Drunk)
"hic You wan' another beer, Zidane?"
ZIDANE
"Um, I kinda promised Dagger that I wouldn't get loaded."
BAKU
"Whut?! Ya gotta take orders from a chick now?! That makes me laugh!"
Baku throws up over the bar.
CINNA
(Wipes up the puke with a cloth)
"Oh, jeez!"
ZIDANE
"Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to have just a few more beers..."
BAKU
"That's the spirit! Barkeep, keep that alcohol comin'!"
EXT. ALEXANDRIA - NIGHT
Some people are stumbling out of the tavern onto the dark streets. Laughter can be heard inside the tavern.
EXT. MIST CONTINENT - NEXT MORNING
Zidane is asleep on the wet ground. A PYTHON approaches him and sniffs at his crotch.
ZIDANE
(Mumbling)
"Mmm, Dagger, you certainly know how to please me, huh? Heh-heh-heh, you bad girl!"
The Python bites him between the legs. He wakes up and the Python slides away.
ZIDANE
(Screaming)
"Ow! Hot damn! Ow, ow, ow!"
He looks around.
ZIDANE
"What the...?! Where the heck am I?!"
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - MORNING
STEINER AND VIVI are sat at the dinning room table. Dagger walks in wearing her dressing gown.
DAGGER
(Yawn)
"Good morning, everyone."
STEINER
"Good morning, Princess. Would you like some breakfast?"
DAGGER
"Yes, thank you, Steiner."
STEINER
(Clears his throat)
"GOURMAND! WE NEED ANOTHER BOWL OF CHOCOBO FLAKES IN HERE RIGHT NOW!"
QUINA (O.S)
"Alright! Alright! Is no need to yell! I hear everything!"
Dagger sits down at the table. QUINA walks in with her breakfast. S/he places it on the table.
DAGGER
"Thank you, Quina."
QUINA
"Is very good, Princess! Is tasty! You like very much!"
DAGGER
"I'm sure I will."
Quina walks back out into the kitchen. Dagger starts to eat her breakfast.
DAGGER
"So, what time did Zidane crawl in last night?"
STEINER
"I'm not with you, Princess."
DAGGER
"Well, he stayed in your room, didn't he? I mean, he didn't come back to mine, that's for sure. I figured he didn't want to disturb me. He's so thoughtful like that."
STEINER
"I'm sorry, Princess, but Zidane did not spend the night in my room last night."
DAGGER
"He didn't? Oh, then he musta spent the night with Vivi. How is he this morning, Vivi?"
VIVI
"I-I haven't seen him since yesterday afternoon."
DAGGER
"...Then, he didn't come back last night?"
Steiner and Vivi stare at one another.
DAGGER
"So, where did he stay?!"
STEINER
"Now might be a good time to start worrying, Princess."
Dagger screams.
VIVI
(To Steiner)
"Oh, boy!"
EXT. MIST CONTINENT - DAY
Zidane is wandering the countryside, near Dali.
ZIDANE
"Man, how the hell did I end up here?!"
Suddenly, the FRIENDLY MU pops it's head out of the ground.
FRIENDLY MU
"Can I have some ore, please?"
ZIDANE
"No, go away. I need this ore to survive. Plus I have a splittin' headache."
FRIENDLY MU
"...Can I have some ore, please?"
ZIDANE
"No! Get lost!"
FRIENDLY MU
"You're lost?"
ZIDANE
"No, I'm not lost. I know exactly where I am. I just want to know how I got here."
FRIENDLY MU
"I can help you!"
ZIDANE
"Really? How?"
FRIENDLY MU
"Give me some ore, and then I'll tell you everything I know."
ZIDANE
"Grrr...! You drive a hard bargin, Mu! Here you go!"
He throws a piece of shiny ore at the Mu.
FRIENDLY MU
"Thanks! Say "Hi" to Mr. Ghost for me!"
ZIDANE
"WHAT?! No way! You tricked me!"
FRIENDLY MU
"Relax! I'm just messing with you!"
ZIDANE
"Okay, do you know how I ended up out here in the middle of nowhere?"
FRIENDLY MU
"Yes, some other humans were here late last night."
ZIDANE
"They were? What did they look like?"
FRIENDLY MU
"Quiet! I'll explain if you give me a chance! Now, where was I? Oh, yeah! It was almost midnight when...
EXT. MIST CONTINENT - FLASHBACK
The Friendly Mu is roaming the enviroment in the dark.
FRIENDLY MU (V.O)
"...I was out looking for scraps of food. Then suddenly, I heard all these strange noises. I looked up, and saw a bunch of people marching over the hill."
Baku, Cinna, Marcus and Blank are all carrying Zidane up the hill. The Friendly Mu hides behind some bushes.
FRIENDLY MU (V.O)
"They were shouting and singing like savages, so I quickly hid from view."
ZIDANE (V.O)
(Interrupting)
"Wow! We musta been really plastered, huh?!"
FRIENDLY MU (V.O)
"I'm not finished yet! Don't interrupt!"
ZIDANE (V.O)
"Sorry!"
FRIENDLY MU (V.O)
"Anyway, there were four of them-"
ZIDANE (V.O)
(Interrupting)
"Only four?! Who escaped?!"
FRIENDLY MU (V.O)
(Continued)
"And they were carrying some kinda monkey-tailed-boy with them."
ZIDANE (V.O)
(Interrupting)
"Monkey-tailed-boy? Uh-oh! I think I can see where this is goin'!"
Baku, Cinna, Marcus and Blank drop Zidane on the ground.
BAKU
"He's gonna be so surprised when he wakes up tomorrow!"
CINNA
"Are you sure we should be doin' this?"
BLANK
"Don't be such a little wuss, Cinna."
MARCUS
"Yeah, it's all in good fun."
BAKU
"Bwahahahaha! Let's go, boys!"
They run off, leaving Zidane.
FRIENDLY MU (V.O)
(Continued)
"They dumped him on the wet grass and then ran off into the night, laughing and giggling like a group of schoolgirls."
EXT. MIST CONTINENT - (REALITY)
Zidane is smiling.
ZIDANE
"Mmm... schoolgirls."
FRIENDLY MU
"Huh?"
ZIDANE
"D'uh, I mean, this is an outrage! Wait 'til I get my hands on those thugs! They're gonna pay for this!"
FRIENDLY MU
"Well, that's all I know. If you wanna know anything else, then you're gonna haveta give me some more ore."
ZIDANE
"You took my last piece."
FRIENDLY MU
"Well, then you can kiss my curvy butt goodbye!"
The Mu burrows it's head under the ground and disappears.
ZIDANE
(To himself)
"Rats!"
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - DAY
Steiner, Vivi and Dagger are all talking in the dinning room.
DAGGER
"Somethings wrong, Steiner. I feel it."
STEINER
"Please try to calm down, Princess. Now I'll find those awful thieves and return with Zidane, you see if I don't."
DAGGER
"You're very kind, Steiner."
STEINER
"Nonsense! It is my pleasure! Come, Master Vivi!"
VIVI
"Aw, why do I always have to come with you?"
STEINER
"Because..."
VIVI
"...Because?"
STEINER
"Because... You know why!"
VIVI
"No, I don't. Is it because of my wonderful personality?"
STEINER
"...No, well, yes, alright."
VIVI
"We'll find Zidane, don't you worry, Princess!"
Vivi runs out of the room.
DAGGER
"You're not fooling anyone, Steiner. We all know the REAL reason why you like to hang out with Vivi."
STEINER
"P-Princess! Y-You can't know!"
DAGGER
"I've heard you mumbling through the bedroom walls, Steiner. But don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me."
STEINER
"T-Thank you, Princess! If anyone ever found out that I rely on Master Vivi's black magic to get through every enemy encounter, then I'd never live it down. Good day!"
He runs out of the room.
EXT. DALI - DAY
Zidane walks into the local tavern.
INT. DALI TAVERN - DAY
Zidane walks over to the bar. MORRID is drinking there.
ZIDANE
"Hi, what up?"
MORRID
"Hello, young man. Are you talking to me?"
ZIDANE
"Yeah, I was told you'd be in here. I need a lift to Alexandria. Can you help?"
MORRID
"You need an airship?"
ZIDANE
"Yep, anything need shippin' off to Alexandria today?"
MORRID
"Ever since Dali stopped producing those horrible black mages-"
ZIDANE
(Interrupting)
"Wait, wait, wait! That's awfully cliche, isn't it? "Black mages"? I mean, come on!"
MORRID
"Excuse me?"
ZIDANE
"You're being racist, my brown faced friend. You can't go around callin' them "black mages". You could get into trouble."
MORRID
"...You are one weird cookie, my son."
ZIDANE
"Ahem, I need an airship, pops! C'mon!"
MORRID
"We stopped shipping to Alexandria last month. Queen Brahne didn't want any more "mages", so we don't send our airships over there anymore."
ZIDANE
"Okay, so, can I borrow one then?"
MORRID
"Why?"
ZIDANE
(Pissed off)
"I've been abandoned here by some jackasses, and now I need to get home to my girlfriend!"
MORRID
"I'm sorry to hear that. But your best bet would be to go over to South Gate and get back home that way."
ZIDANE
"Oh, you're useless!"
Zidane walks off.
MORRID
(To himself)
"What a nice young man..."
EXT. ALEXANDRIA - DAY
Marcus and Blank are hanging around outside the theatre.
BLANK
"Heh, I wonder how things are goin' for Zidane..."
MARCUS
"You really are cruel, y'know that, Blank?"
BLANK
"Hey, you were the one who come up with the idea in the first place!"
MARCUS
"Uh-oh, here comes trouble..."
STEINER (O.S)
"You there! Scoundrels!"
BLANK
(To Marcus)
"What the hell does he want?"
Steiner and Vivi appear beside them.
MARCUS
(To Steiner)
"Good day!"
STEINER
"Shut up, villain!"
BLANK
"Hey, Vivi!"
VIVI
"Hey!"
STEINER
(To Marcus)
"What have you done with Zidane?!"
MARCUS
"...Nothing."
STEINER
"Hmph! I don't believe you! How come you hesitated?"
BLANK
"Look, we haven't seen Zidane since last night, okay?!"
STEINER
"Where did you see him last?!"
MARCUS
"Uh, he left the tavern early, right, Blank?"
BLANK
"Huh? Oh, yeah! He left about... 10:00pm. Real early. Said he couldn't bear to be apart from his beautiful princess any longer, right, Marcus?"
MARCUS
"Yeah, that's right. A real smoothie."
STEINER
"Hmm, I have reason to doubt you."
BLANK
"Aw, believe whatever you want! I'm goin' back to the hideout. Marcus, you comin'?"
MARCUS
"Sure."
BLANK
"See ya later, Vivi."
Marcus and Blank walk off down the street.
VIVI
(Shouting)
"B-Bye!"
STEINER
"How rude! Some people are so rude!"
VIVI
"What now, Captain Steiner?"
STEINER
"We must follow them! I told the princess I would not return without Zidane, and return without Zidane I will not!"
EXT. SOUTH GATE - DAY
Zidane approaches the main gate. Two guards block his way.
SHORT GUARD
"Halt! Where's your gate pass?"
ZIDANE
(To himself)
"Oh, crap! I haven't got it with me!"
TALL GUARD
"Well...?!"
ZIDANE
"Do you think you could let me pass, just this once?"
SHORT GUARD
"No can do. No gate pass; no entrance."
ZIDANE
"B-But I need to board the cable car! I-I have to get back to Alexandria!"
TALL GUARD
"Then get yourself a gate pass, idiot!"
ZIDANE
"Idiot?! You can't speak to me like that! I'm gonna report you to Queen Brahne!"
TALL GUARD
"Yeah? And like old fat-ass is gonna give a damn? I don't think so, chump!"
ZIDANE
"Grrr...! Dammit, why are some things so complicated?!"
EXT. LINDBLUM - AFTERNOON
Marcus and Blank run into the town through the main gate. Steiner and Vivi follow closely behind.
STEINER
"Phew! We made it! And I don't think we were seen, either."
VIVI
"C-Can we rest up in the local inn? My feet are killing me."
STEINER
"There will be time for rest later, Master Vivi. First, we must find Zidane."
Steiner runs off into town. Vivi adjusts his hat, and then follows.
INT. LINDBLUM HIDEOUT - AFTERNOON
Baku and Cinna are playing Tetra Master at the table.
BAKU
"Bwahahahaha! I win again!"
CINNA
"Damn! I really need some better cards. Boss, will you trade one of your Grand Dragon cards for one of my Goblin cards? Its got an arrow on every corner!"
BAKU
"Bwahahahaha! You must be jokin'!"
Suddenly, Marcus and Blank burst into the building.
BAKU
"Ah, if it ain't Marcus and Blank. How're ya doin'?"
BLANK
"Great! We had a run in with Captain Rusty earlier, but we managed to shake 'im off, right, Marcus?"
MARCUS
"Uh-huh. I tell ya, that guy is a complete and utter-"
STEINER (O.S)
(Interrupting)
"Aha! I knew you'd all be here!"
Steiner and Vivi walk in.
BAKU
"How the #@$% did you git here?!"
STEINER
"Silence! We have come for Zidane! Where is he?!"
BAKU
"Ain't got no idea what yer talkin' about."
STEINER
"You know very well what I mean! Do I look stupid to you?!"
BAKU
"Ya really want me to answer that?"
STEINER
(Shaking his fists)
"Unhand Zidane, you ruthless peasant!"
VIVI
"Uh, Captain Steiner, I don't think you should start making a scene here."
BAKU
"Ya got a smart young friend there, Rusty. Ya should listen to 'im once in a while."
STEINER
"I am giving you one last chance to reveal the whereabouts of Zidane."
BAKU
"An' I'm tellin' ya; I don't know!"
BLANK
"He's not lyin', Rusty."
CINNA
"Our boss is as honest as they come."
STEINER
(Sarcastically)
"I'll bet!"
BAKU
"Look, jus' go home, okay? I'm sure Zidane'll turn up eventually. Yer probably jus' worryin' over nothin'."
VIVI
(To Steiner)
"Y'know, he could be right?"
STEINER
"Hmph! Come, Master Vivi, we have work to do."
They walk off.
BLANK
"Man, that guy is such a pain in the ass."
BAKU
"Bwahahahaha! Ya think he believed us?"
MARCUS
"Who cares! I just love watchin' him suffer!"
EXT. MIST CONTINENT - AFTERNOON
Zidane is wandering through the countryside.
ZIDANE
(Panting)
"It-It's so hot today. I-I think I'm gonna pass out. Oh, Dagger, I bet you're really pissed off with me right now. Why did I have so much to drink last night? Why couldn't I just have said no? Why does my life suck so much ass right now?"
Just then, the Friendly Mu pops its head out of the ground again.
FRIENDLY MU
"Oh, its you again. Do you mind not walking over my home? It's very annoying."
ZIDANE
(Sarcastically)
"Well, sorry for breathin'! I'll just lie down in the mud, huh?!"
FRIENDLY MU
"Someone's a little grumpy this afternoon, huh?"
ZIDANE
"I tried to get an airship to Alexandria, but in Dali they told me no airships go up there anymore. Then I thought about goin' over South Gate, but the damn security guards wouldn't let me pass cause I didn't have my gate pass with me! I'm completely screwed, so yeah, I guess I am a little grumpy!"
FRIENDLY MU
"You're going about this the wrong way, my humaniod friend."
ZIDANE
"How'd you mean?"
FRIENDLY MU
"Why don't you just go through the Ice Cavern, and then get back to Alexandria that way? It'd be a whole lot simpler."
ZIDANE
"Hey, yeah! That is a good idea! Thanks a lot!"
FRIENDLY MU
"No problem! Just remember to give me some ore next time you see me, okay?"
ZIDANE
"Deal!"
EXT. LINDBLUM - AFTERNOON
Steiner and Vivi are in the Business District. Vivi is talking with GRANDMA PICKLE at her pickle stand.
GRANDMA PICKLE
"Here you are, kid. Two gyshal pickles."
She hands him the pickles. He gives her some money.
VIVI
"T-Thank you."
Vivi walks over to Steiner and gives him a pickle.
VIVI
"H-Here you are, Captain Steiner. It's nice and fresh."
STEINER
(Eating the pickle)
"Mmph mmphh mmpph!"
VIVI
"E-Excuse me?"
STEINER
(Swallows the pickle)
"I said why isn't anything easy anymore?"
VIVI
"Don't worry, Captain Steiner. We'll find Zidane soon. I'm sure of it."
Just then, EIKO appears behind them.
EIKO
"Hi, Steiner! Hi, Vivi!"
VIVI
"E-Eiko! What are you doing here?"
EIKO
"I'm out doing some shopping for Mother. She's cooking a big meal for Father tonight, so I have to get the best ingredients."
STEINER
"Hmph!"
EIKO
"Is something the matter, Steiner?"
STEINER
"No, nothing that concerns you."
VIVI
(To Eiko)
"Zidane is missing."
EIKO
"WHAT?! My beloved Zidane! No!"
VIVI
"He went out drinking with his Tantalus last night, but he never came back to the castle. Everyone is so worried about him. Steiner and I came to look for him, but so far we've had no luck at all. We thought Tantalus themselves might know some information, but they're keeping quiet."
EIKO
"Argh! Those naughty thieves! I bet they're keeping Zidane hostage or something!"
VIVI
"What? No, that doesn't make sense."
EIKO
"Of course it does! This is just their idea of a joke."
STEINER
"That is what I have been saying all along."
VIVI
(Quietly to himself)
"You never shut up about it."
EIKO
"I'll go talk to them. They're hardly likely to keep information from a beautiful young lady like me!"
She runs off towards the Theatre District. Steiner and Vivi give chase.
INT. LINDBLUM HIDEOUT - AFTERNOON
Baku, Cinna, Marcus and Blank are all playing Tetra Master.
BAKU
"Bwahahahaha! I win again!"
BLANK
"Well, that does it! You're takin' all my good cards, Boss!"
BAKU
"Ya need to perfect yer game, Blank!"
CINNA
"Losin' sucks!"
BAKU
"I'm sick and tired of winnin' all the time! I need ta find some decent competition!"
EIKO (O.S)
"Hello? Anyone home?"
BLANK
"...Hey? Isn't that that girl? The one Zidane likes?"
CINNA
"No, no. Zidane don't like her. She likes him."
BLANK
"Really? Cool!"
CINNA
"No, it's not cool! She's, like, 6-years-old!"
BLANK
"Oh, that bites. But if she was older, then THAT would be cool."
CINNA
"Yeah, she'll probably look pretty stunnin' in the future."
BLANK
"You think? I reckon that horn could be a MAJOR turn off!"
CINNA
"Yeah, you wouldn't wanna be blinded in the heat o' the moment, right?"
BLANK
"Oh, oh, of course not!"
BAKU
(Pissed off)
"WILL YOU TWO JUS' SHADDUP?! YER SOUNDIN' LIKE A COUPLE OF PERVERTS!"
BLANK
"..."
CINNA
"..."
EIKO (O.S)
"Come on, you two. I heard voices."
Eiko walks in, accompanied by Steiner and Vivi.
BAKU
"Well, what do we have here? Woo, such a sweet young woman in my presence."
EIKO
(Embarrassed)
"Oh, um, thank you, sir."
BAKU
"An' what can I do fer you?"
EIKO
"Uh, do you like to Zidane?"
BAKU
"Excuse me?"
EIKO
"I mean, where is dance?"
BAKU
"?"
EIKO
"Oh, listen to me! I'm all over the place now. Ahem! What I'm trying to say is; have you seen Zidane today?"
BAKU
"Sorry, my pretty. Haven't seen 'im since last night."
EIKO
"O-Okay, thank you for your help anyway."
Eiko, Steiner and Vivi all leave the building.
BAKU
"See, boys? That's how ya handle the opposite sex."
MARCUS/CINNA/BLANK
"Oooh!"
EXT. LINDBLUM - AFTERNOON
Steiner, Vivi and Eiko are outside the Tantalus hideout.
VIVI
"Well, that didn't tell us anything new. What now?"
EIKO
"I dunno. I'm fresh outta idea's. Steiner, do you have a plan?"
STEINER
"I may do. Come, we must head over to Treno."
VIVI
"Oh, this is unbelievable! We just keep tracking from one town to the next! It's starting to get really boring! I tell you, if this was some kinda story then I'd have stopped reading about 10 minutes ago!"
STEINER
"Well, its just as well that this isn't a story."
VIVI
(Sigh)
"Let's go."
EXT. MIST CONTINENT - AFTERNOON
Zidane emerges from the Ice Cavern. He looks frozen.
ZIDANE
"Ergh, that was quite possibly the coldest place I've ever been to. I'm sure glad I got outta there in one piece. Now, in which direction is Alexandria?"
EXT. TRENO - AFTERNOON
Steiner and Vivi are outside the auction hall. AMARANT is with them.
AMARANT
"So, let me get this straight. You want ME to help YOU find Zidane?"
STEINER
"...Yes."
AMARANT
"Sorry, I'm busy."
VIVI
"Amarant, please, you have to help us. We can't track him down alone. But you - an experienced bounty hunter, should have no problem."
AMARANT
"You really want my help that bad?"
VIVI
(Quietly to Amarant)
"Frankly, I don't think Captain Steiner here is up to the job."
AMARANT
"...Alright. I'll help you."
VIVI
"You will?! Great!"
AMARANT
"For a price."
STEINER
"Damn you!"
AMARANT
"I want 3000 Gil for all my trouble."
STEINER
"You...! 2000 Gil!"
AMARANT
"...2500."
STEINER
"You're a tricky one, there's no doubt about that. Very well. 2500 Gil, it is."
He hands him the money.
AMARANT
"Let's get started then, shall we?"
EXT. ALEXANDRIA PLATEAU - AFTERNOON
Zidane is wandering through the countryside. Alexandria is not too far in the distance.
ZIDANE
"Oh, wow! I-I made it! I-I'm practically home free! A-And I did it all by myself! I-I had no help from Rusty, Freya or any of the others! I'm the best! Yeah!"
He begins to run towards the town.
ZIDANE
(Shouting)
"I'm comin' home, Dagger! I'm comin' home!"
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - AFTERNOON
Dagger is sat at the dinning room table. Quina is standing next to her.
DAGGER
"They've been gone an awful long time, Quina. I hope they're alright."
QUINA
"I think they fine. Both knight and black mage very good at finding things. They find my secret hidden stash of Gil all time."
DAGGER
"I can only pray that Zidane is okay. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to him."
ZIDANE (O.S)
"You don't have to worry about me, Dagger. I'm a big boy now."
DAGGER
(Turns around)
"Zidane?!"
Zidane walks into the room.
ZIDANE
"Close, but you're way off."
DAGGER
"Zidane!"
She gets up from the table and runs over to him. They hug.
DAGGER
"W-Where have you been?!"
ZIDANE
"Its a long story, Dagger. Its a long, boring, unimpressive story."
QUINA
(Sheds a tear)
"I so happy!"
EXT. ALEXANDRIA PLATEAU - AFTERNOON
Steiner, Vivi and Amarant are walking towards Alexandria.
STEINER
(To Amarant)
"Why on earth are we back here?!"
AMARANT
"I sense that Zidane is near here."
STEINER
"You can really tell that?!"
AMARANT
"Actually, for the past seven miles I've been following his footprints. Look closely at the ground."
VIVI
(Squinting)
"Mmm, I guess you must be REALLY skilled to be able to see those!"
STEINER
"Then, does this mean that the thief made his own way back?!"
AMARANT
"It would seem that Zidane is not as dependant on others as you may have once thought."
STEINER
"Nonsense! I figure he was out here in the wilderness all along! He probably got a little too much to drink last night, and stumbled out here in a drunken daze."
VIVI
(Sarcastically)
"That would explain why it took him half a day to get home then?"
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - AFTERNOON
Zidane is talking to Dagger in the dinning room.
ZIDANE
"And that's how it was."
DAGGER
"My, my! What a day! And what a night too by the sound of things!"
ZIDANE
"Oh, it was terrible, Dagger. I was so cold."
DAGGER
"Were you scared?"
ZIDANE
"Hell, no! I just thought of you and knew I had to be strong."
DAGGER
"Aw, how cute."
ZIDANE
"Uh, and I sung our song. That helped too. Did you know there's a certain high pitch frequency in that song that makes all the local creatures crap their pants?"
Steiner, Vivi and Amarant walk into the room.
STEINER
(To Zidane)
"So, you came back."
ZIDANE
"Rusty! How's it hangin'?"
DAGGER
"Steiner, Vivi, thank you so much for all your help, but Zidane made it back all by himself anyway. Isn't that something else?"
STEINER
"Yes, quite."
ZIDANE
"You don't mind, right, Rusty? I bet it did you good to get out in the fresh air once in a while, huh?"
STEINER
"..."
AMARANT
"Well, now that everything is back to normal, I think I should get back to Treno. See ya."
He leaves the room.
ZIDANE
"Oh, was that Amarant?"
STEINER
"Alright, Zidane! What exactly happened last night?! We know that group of thieves had something to do with your disappearence! Explain yourself!"
ZIDANE
"You know how it is, Rusty. People do weird stuff when they're drunk. I guess the party just got a little out of hand."
DAGGER
"Just a little?"
ZIDANE
"Okay, actually a lot, but the important thing is that we all learned a valuable lesson today."
VIVI
"What's that?"
ZIDANE
"A lesson is a period of time spent learning or teaching, or something that is learned or taught."
STEINER
"Very droll, Zidane."
ZIDANE
"Oh, yeah, thanks, Rusty."
DAGGER
"...Zidane, I've got something for you in the bedroom, if you care to step upstairs."
ZIDANE
"Oooh! Is it a present?! It is, isn't it?! Oooh, I want it now! Give it to me now! I want Steiner and Vivi to see! Please, Dagger! Hand it over!"
DAGGER
"...I'll give it to you later."
ZIDANE
"Aw! No fair!"
STEINER
"Well, it certainly has been an eventful day. I think I'll turn in now. Good night, everyone."
He walks off.
VIVI
"Me too. Glad you're back, Zidane."
He walks off.
ZIDANE
(Sigh)
"I'm beat! I'm going straight to sleep."
DAGGER
"What about your present?"
ZIDANE
"Eh? I'll have it tomorrow night instead."
DAGGER
"But... Freya and Eiko are coming over tomorrow night for our monthly sleep-over."
ZIDANE
"Geez, you're so selfish at times, Dagger. Its all me, me, me!"
INT. LINDBLUM HIDEOUT - EVENING
Baku, Cinna, Marcus and Blank are still playing Tetra Master.
BAKU
"Bwahahahaha! I win again!"
MARCUS
(To Cinna)
"That is really startin' to piss me off."
BAKU
"Ya wanna get yer ass kicked, Marcus?!"
Marcus hangs his head in shame.
BAKU
"Another game, boys?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FFIX: El Viaje Misterioso del Nuestro Zidane
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - EVENING
ZIDANE AND DAGGER are talking together in their bedroom. Zidane is standing next to a mirror, while Dagger is sat on the bed.
DAGGER
"Oh, Zidane, do you really have to go out tonight?"
ZIDANE
(Adjusting his clothes)
"Dagger, I thought you were okay with this. You said you were okay with this."
DAGGER
"I know, I know. But we hardly ever spend any time together lately. I was hoping we could get romantic tonight."
ZIDANE
(Combing his hair)
"Aw, how cute."
DAGGER
(Upset)
"Zidane!"
ZIDANE
"Chill! I wasn't being sarcastic!"
DAGGER
"Zidane, I'm sorry. I just hate hanging around here while you're out doing... What are you doing anyway?"
ZIDANE
"You forgot? I'm going out for a night on the town with my friends from Tantalus, remember?"
DAGGER
"Oh, yes."
ZIDANE
"I'd ask you to come, but, you know...?"
DAGGER
"..."
ZIDANE
"Look, I'll try not to get too drunk, okay? And I'll be back later, so we'll snuggle tomorrow, I promise."
He kisses her on the cheek.
DAGGER
"Alright. Well, have a nice time."
ZIDANE
"Don't worry. I will."
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - EVENING
MARCUS AND BLANK are hanging around outside the castle.
BLANK
"Man, where the hell is Zidane? He said he'd be here at 8:00pm sharp!"
MARCUS
"Calm down, Blank. He'll be here soon, I'm sure of it."
BLANK
"He better be! I need a drink!"
Zidane appears behind them.
ZIDANE
"Hey, dudes! You ready?"
BLANK
"Zidane! About time, dammit! You're late!"
ZIDANE
"Whoa, relax, Blank. I'm only 5 minutes late."
BLANK
"And whose drinkin' time do you think you're wastin'?!"
Blank runs off towards the town.
MARCUS
"Don't worry 'bout him, Zidane. You know what Blank's like when it comes to the booze."
ZIDANE
"Tell me about it! Remember that time he drunk that barrel full of beer?"
MARCUS
"...Barrel full of beer? Uh, Zidane, it was actually YOU that drunk that barrel of beer. We had to send you to drink rehab to sober up, 'member?"
ZIDANE
(Ignoring him)
"Let's go get drunk!"
INT. ALEXANDRIA TAVERN - EVENING
BAKU AND CINNA are drinking at the bar. Zidane, Marcus and Blank walk in and join them.
BAKU
"Yer late!"
BLANK
"Blame Zidane!"
BAKU
(To the barkeep)
"Hey, three more beers over here!"
Zidane, Marcus and Blank all sit at the bar. The barkeep gives them their beers. They start to drink.
ZIDANE
"Ah! Now that's a good beer!"
CINNA
"Alexandria makes the best beer, huh? I love it here!"
BAKU
"Shut yer hole, Cinna! We'd be drinkin' in Lindblum if it wasn't fer Zidane here."
ZIDANE
"Huh?"
BAKU
"Look at ya! Livin' the high life here in the big city!"
ZIDANE
"What are you implyin', Boss?"
BAKU
"Shaddup! Ya got no right to call me "Boss" anymore!"
MARCUS
"B-Boss, calm down!"
BAKU
"No! I wanna know sumthin' from Mister Bigshot here!"
MARCUS
"Boss, please, just leave it."
BAKU
"Ya wanna get yer ass kicked, Marcus?!"
Marcus hangs his head in shame.
BAKU
"Thought not! Now, Mister Bigshot..."
CINNA
"You talkin' to me, Boss?"
BAKU
"No! I'm talkin' to monkey-boy here!"
ZIDANE
(To Cinna)
"I think he means Blank."
BAKU
"You were my favourite, y'know, Zidane?"
ZIDANE
"Really? Thanks!"
BAKU
(Drunk)
"I ain't finished yet! Remember when ya left Tantalus all those months ago to go off with yer princess? When you did that, you made me the most depressed guy in the entire world. I never thought I'd ever git over your disappearence, but I did, and now I give thanks to the lord. Barkeep, five more beers here!"
ZIDANE
(To Blank)
"Okay, that was a little strange..."
BLANK
(Drunk)
"W-Wha? Y-You call me a punk?!"
ZIDANE
"Uh, no, I said that was strange."
BLANK
(Drunk)
"W-Wha? Y-You call me a punk?!"
ZIDANE
"Uh, no, I said that was strange."
BLANK
(Drunk)
"W-Wha? Y-You call me a punk?!"
ZIDANE
(Sigh)
"You're a punk, Blank."
BLANK
(Drunk)
"Yeah, I agree that was strange."
MARCUS
"So, Zidane, how're things at the castle?"
ZIDANE
"Eh, can't complain. I got a great girlfriend, a nice bed, a future mother-in-law from hell. It could be worse."
CINNA
(Drunk)
"hic You wan' another beer, Zidane?"
ZIDANE
"Um, I kinda promised Dagger that I wouldn't get loaded."
BAKU
"Whut?! Ya gotta take orders from a chick now?! That makes me laugh!"
Baku throws up over the bar.
CINNA
(Wipes up the puke with a cloth)
"Oh, jeez!"
ZIDANE
"Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to have just a few more beers..."
BAKU
"That's the spirit! Barkeep, keep that alcohol comin'!"
EXT. ALEXANDRIA - NIGHT
Some people are stumbling out of the tavern onto the dark streets. Laughter can be heard inside the tavern.
EXT. MIST CONTINENT - NEXT MORNING
Zidane is asleep on the wet ground. A PYTHON approaches him and sniffs at his crotch.
ZIDANE
(Mumbling)
"Mmm, Dagger, you certainly know how to please me, huh? Heh-heh-heh, you bad girl!"
The Python bites him between the legs. He wakes up and the Python slides away.
ZIDANE
(Screaming)
"Ow! Hot damn! Ow, ow, ow!"
He looks around.
ZIDANE
"What the...?! Where the heck am I?!"
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - MORNING
STEINER AND VIVI are sat at the dinning room table. Dagger walks in wearing her dressing gown.
DAGGER
(Yawn)
"Good morning, everyone."
STEINER
"Good morning, Princess. Would you like some breakfast?"
DAGGER
"Yes, thank you, Steiner."
STEINER
(Clears his throat)
"GOURMAND! WE NEED ANOTHER BOWL OF CHOCOBO FLAKES IN HERE RIGHT NOW!"
QUINA (O.S)
"Alright! Alright! Is no need to yell! I hear everything!"
Dagger sits down at the table. QUINA walks in with her breakfast. S/he places it on the table.
DAGGER
"Thank you, Quina."
QUINA
"Is very good, Princess! Is tasty! You like very much!"
DAGGER
"I'm sure I will."
Quina walks back out into the kitchen. Dagger starts to eat her breakfast.
DAGGER
"So, what time did Zidane crawl in last night?"
STEINER
"I'm not with you, Princess."
DAGGER
"Well, he stayed in your room, didn't he? I mean, he didn't come back to mine, that's for sure. I figured he didn't want to disturb me. He's so thoughtful like that."
STEINER
"I'm sorry, Princess, but Zidane did not spend the night in my room last night."
DAGGER
"He didn't? Oh, then he musta spent the night with Vivi. How is he this morning, Vivi?"
VIVI
"I-I haven't seen him since yesterday afternoon."
DAGGER
"...Then, he didn't come back last night?"
Steiner and Vivi stare at one another.
DAGGER
"So, where did he stay?!"
STEINER
"Now might be a good time to start worrying, Princess."
Dagger screams.
VIVI
(To Steiner)
"Oh, boy!"
EXT. MIST CONTINENT - DAY
Zidane is wandering the countryside, near Dali.
ZIDANE
"Man, how the hell did I end up here?!"
Suddenly, the FRIENDLY MU pops it's head out of the ground.
FRIENDLY MU
"Can I have some ore, please?"
ZIDANE
"No, go away. I need this ore to survive. Plus I have a splittin' headache."
FRIENDLY MU
"...Can I have some ore, please?"
ZIDANE
"No! Get lost!"
FRIENDLY MU
"You're lost?"
ZIDANE
"No, I'm not lost. I know exactly where I am. I just want to know how I got here."
FRIENDLY MU
"I can help you!"
ZIDANE
"Really? How?"
FRIENDLY MU
"Give me some ore, and then I'll tell you everything I know."
ZIDANE
"Grrr...! You drive a hard bargin, Mu! Here you go!"
He throws a piece of shiny ore at the Mu.
FRIENDLY MU
"Thanks! Say "Hi" to Mr. Ghost for me!"
ZIDANE
"WHAT?! No way! You tricked me!"
FRIENDLY MU
"Relax! I'm just messing with you!"
ZIDANE
"Okay, do you know how I ended up out here in the middle of nowhere?"
FRIENDLY MU
"Yes, some other humans were here late last night."
ZIDANE
"They were? What did they look like?"
FRIENDLY MU
"Quiet! I'll explain if you give me a chance! Now, where was I? Oh, yeah! It was almost midnight when...
EXT. MIST CONTINENT - FLASHBACK
The Friendly Mu is roaming the enviroment in the dark.
FRIENDLY MU (V.O)
"...I was out looking for scraps of food. Then suddenly, I heard all these strange noises. I looked up, and saw a bunch of people marching over the hill."
Baku, Cinna, Marcus and Blank are all carrying Zidane up the hill. The Friendly Mu hides behind some bushes.
FRIENDLY MU (V.O)
"They were shouting and singing like savages, so I quickly hid from view."
ZIDANE (V.O)
(Interrupting)
"Wow! We musta been really plastered, huh?!"
FRIENDLY MU (V.O)
"I'm not finished yet! Don't interrupt!"
ZIDANE (V.O)
"Sorry!"
FRIENDLY MU (V.O)
"Anyway, there were four of them-"
ZIDANE (V.O)
(Interrupting)
"Only four?! Who escaped?!"
FRIENDLY MU (V.O)
(Continued)
"And they were carrying some kinda monkey-tailed-boy with them."
ZIDANE (V.O)
(Interrupting)
"Monkey-tailed-boy? Uh-oh! I think I can see where this is goin'!"
Baku, Cinna, Marcus and Blank drop Zidane on the ground.
BAKU
"He's gonna be so surprised when he wakes up tomorrow!"
CINNA
"Are you sure we should be doin' this?"
BLANK
"Don't be such a little wuss, Cinna."
MARCUS
"Yeah, it's all in good fun."
BAKU
"Bwahahahaha! Let's go, boys!"
They run off, leaving Zidane.
FRIENDLY MU (V.O)
(Continued)
"They dumped him on the wet grass and then ran off into the night, laughing and giggling like a group of schoolgirls."
EXT. MIST CONTINENT - (REALITY)
Zidane is smiling.
ZIDANE
"Mmm... schoolgirls."
FRIENDLY MU
"Huh?"
ZIDANE
"D'uh, I mean, this is an outrage! Wait 'til I get my hands on those thugs! They're gonna pay for this!"
FRIENDLY MU
"Well, that's all I know. If you wanna know anything else, then you're gonna haveta give me some more ore."
ZIDANE
"You took my last piece."
FRIENDLY MU
"Well, then you can kiss my curvy butt goodbye!"
The Mu burrows it's head under the ground and disappears.
ZIDANE
(To himself)
"Rats!"
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - DAY
Steiner, Vivi and Dagger are all talking in the dinning room.
DAGGER
"Somethings wrong, Steiner. I feel it."
STEINER
"Please try to calm down, Princess. Now I'll find those awful thieves and return with Zidane, you see if I don't."
DAGGER
"You're very kind, Steiner."
STEINER
"Nonsense! It is my pleasure! Come, Master Vivi!"
VIVI
"Aw, why do I always have to come with you?"
STEINER
"Because..."
VIVI
"...Because?"
STEINER
"Because... You know why!"
VIVI
"No, I don't. Is it because of my wonderful personality?"
STEINER
"...No, well, yes, alright."
VIVI
"We'll find Zidane, don't you worry, Princess!"
Vivi runs out of the room.
DAGGER
"You're not fooling anyone, Steiner. We all know the REAL reason why you like to hang out with Vivi."
STEINER
"P-Princess! Y-You can't know!"
DAGGER
"I've heard you mumbling through the bedroom walls, Steiner. But don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me."
STEINER
"T-Thank you, Princess! If anyone ever found out that I rely on Master Vivi's black magic to get through every enemy encounter, then I'd never live it down. Good day!"
He runs out of the room.
EXT. DALI - DAY
Zidane walks into the local tavern.
INT. DALI TAVERN - DAY
Zidane walks over to the bar. MORRID is drinking there.
ZIDANE
"Hi, what up?"
MORRID
"Hello, young man. Are you talking to me?"
ZIDANE
"Yeah, I was told you'd be in here. I need a lift to Alexandria. Can you help?"
MORRID
"You need an airship?"
ZIDANE
"Yep, anything need shippin' off to Alexandria today?"
MORRID
"Ever since Dali stopped producing those horrible black mages-"
ZIDANE
(Interrupting)
"Wait, wait, wait! That's awfully cliche, isn't it? "Black mages"? I mean, come on!"
MORRID
"Excuse me?"
ZIDANE
"You're being racist, my brown faced friend. You can't go around callin' them "black mages". You could get into trouble."
MORRID
"...You are one weird cookie, my son."
ZIDANE
"Ahem, I need an airship, pops! C'mon!"
MORRID
"We stopped shipping to Alexandria last month. Queen Brahne didn't want any more "mages", so we don't send our airships over there anymore."
ZIDANE
"Okay, so, can I borrow one then?"
MORRID
"Why?"
ZIDANE
(Pissed off)
"I've been abandoned here by some jackasses, and now I need to get home to my girlfriend!"
MORRID
"I'm sorry to hear that. But your best bet would be to go over to South Gate and get back home that way."
ZIDANE
"Oh, you're useless!"
Zidane walks off.
MORRID
(To himself)
"What a nice young man..."
EXT. ALEXANDRIA - DAY
Marcus and Blank are hanging around outside the theatre.
BLANK
"Heh, I wonder how things are goin' for Zidane..."
MARCUS
"You really are cruel, y'know that, Blank?"
BLANK
"Hey, you were the one who come up with the idea in the first place!"
MARCUS
"Uh-oh, here comes trouble..."
STEINER (O.S)
"You there! Scoundrels!"
BLANK
(To Marcus)
"What the hell does he want?"
Steiner and Vivi appear beside them.
MARCUS
(To Steiner)
"Good day!"
STEINER
"Shut up, villain!"
BLANK
"Hey, Vivi!"
VIVI
"Hey!"
STEINER
(To Marcus)
"What have you done with Zidane?!"
MARCUS
"...Nothing."
STEINER
"Hmph! I don't believe you! How come you hesitated?"
BLANK
"Look, we haven't seen Zidane since last night, okay?!"
STEINER
"Where did you see him last?!"
MARCUS
"Uh, he left the tavern early, right, Blank?"
BLANK
"Huh? Oh, yeah! He left about... 10:00pm. Real early. Said he couldn't bear to be apart from his beautiful princess any longer, right, Marcus?"
MARCUS
"Yeah, that's right. A real smoothie."
STEINER
"Hmm, I have reason to doubt you."
BLANK
"Aw, believe whatever you want! I'm goin' back to the hideout. Marcus, you comin'?"
MARCUS
"Sure."
BLANK
"See ya later, Vivi."
Marcus and Blank walk off down the street.
VIVI
(Shouting)
"B-Bye!"
STEINER
"How rude! Some people are so rude!"
VIVI
"What now, Captain Steiner?"
STEINER
"We must follow them! I told the princess I would not return without Zidane, and return without Zidane I will not!"
EXT. SOUTH GATE - DAY
Zidane approaches the main gate. Two guards block his way.
SHORT GUARD
"Halt! Where's your gate pass?"
ZIDANE
(To himself)
"Oh, crap! I haven't got it with me!"
TALL GUARD
"Well...?!"
ZIDANE
"Do you think you could let me pass, just this once?"
SHORT GUARD
"No can do. No gate pass; no entrance."
ZIDANE
"B-But I need to board the cable car! I-I have to get back to Alexandria!"
TALL GUARD
"Then get yourself a gate pass, idiot!"
ZIDANE
"Idiot?! You can't speak to me like that! I'm gonna report you to Queen Brahne!"
TALL GUARD
"Yeah? And like old fat-ass is gonna give a damn? I don't think so, chump!"
ZIDANE
"Grrr...! Dammit, why are some things so complicated?!"
EXT. LINDBLUM - AFTERNOON
Marcus and Blank run into the town through the main gate. Steiner and Vivi follow closely behind.
STEINER
"Phew! We made it! And I don't think we were seen, either."
VIVI
"C-Can we rest up in the local inn? My feet are killing me."
STEINER
"There will be time for rest later, Master Vivi. First, we must find Zidane."
Steiner runs off into town. Vivi adjusts his hat, and then follows.
INT. LINDBLUM HIDEOUT - AFTERNOON
Baku and Cinna are playing Tetra Master at the table.
BAKU
"Bwahahahaha! I win again!"
CINNA
"Damn! I really need some better cards. Boss, will you trade one of your Grand Dragon cards for one of my Goblin cards? Its got an arrow on every corner!"
BAKU
"Bwahahahaha! You must be jokin'!"
Suddenly, Marcus and Blank burst into the building.
BAKU
"Ah, if it ain't Marcus and Blank. How're ya doin'?"
BLANK
"Great! We had a run in with Captain Rusty earlier, but we managed to shake 'im off, right, Marcus?"
MARCUS
"Uh-huh. I tell ya, that guy is a complete and utter-"
STEINER (O.S)
(Interrupting)
"Aha! I knew you'd all be here!"
Steiner and Vivi walk in.
BAKU
"How the #@$% did you git here?!"
STEINER
"Silence! We have come for Zidane! Where is he?!"
BAKU
"Ain't got no idea what yer talkin' about."
STEINER
"You know very well what I mean! Do I look stupid to you?!"
BAKU
"Ya really want me to answer that?"
STEINER
(Shaking his fists)
"Unhand Zidane, you ruthless peasant!"
VIVI
"Uh, Captain Steiner, I don't think you should start making a scene here."
BAKU
"Ya got a smart young friend there, Rusty. Ya should listen to 'im once in a while."
STEINER
"I am giving you one last chance to reveal the whereabouts of Zidane."
BAKU
"An' I'm tellin' ya; I don't know!"
BLANK
"He's not lyin', Rusty."
CINNA
"Our boss is as honest as they come."
STEINER
(Sarcastically)
"I'll bet!"
BAKU
"Look, jus' go home, okay? I'm sure Zidane'll turn up eventually. Yer probably jus' worryin' over nothin'."
VIVI
(To Steiner)
"Y'know, he could be right?"
STEINER
"Hmph! Come, Master Vivi, we have work to do."
They walk off.
BLANK
"Man, that guy is such a pain in the ass."
BAKU
"Bwahahahaha! Ya think he believed us?"
MARCUS
"Who cares! I just love watchin' him suffer!"
EXT. MIST CONTINENT - AFTERNOON
Zidane is wandering through the countryside.
ZIDANE
(Panting)
"It-It's so hot today. I-I think I'm gonna pass out. Oh, Dagger, I bet you're really pissed off with me right now. Why did I have so much to drink last night? Why couldn't I just have said no? Why does my life suck so much ass right now?"
Just then, the Friendly Mu pops its head out of the ground again.
FRIENDLY MU
"Oh, its you again. Do you mind not walking over my home? It's very annoying."
ZIDANE
(Sarcastically)
"Well, sorry for breathin'! I'll just lie down in the mud, huh?!"
FRIENDLY MU
"Someone's a little grumpy this afternoon, huh?"
ZIDANE
"I tried to get an airship to Alexandria, but in Dali they told me no airships go up there anymore. Then I thought about goin' over South Gate, but the damn security guards wouldn't let me pass cause I didn't have my gate pass with me! I'm completely screwed, so yeah, I guess I am a little grumpy!"
FRIENDLY MU
"You're going about this the wrong way, my humaniod friend."
ZIDANE
"How'd you mean?"
FRIENDLY MU
"Why don't you just go through the Ice Cavern, and then get back to Alexandria that way? It'd be a whole lot simpler."
ZIDANE
"Hey, yeah! That is a good idea! Thanks a lot!"
FRIENDLY MU
"No problem! Just remember to give me some ore next time you see me, okay?"
ZIDANE
"Deal!"
EXT. LINDBLUM - AFTERNOON
Steiner and Vivi are in the Business District. Vivi is talking with GRANDMA PICKLE at her pickle stand.
GRANDMA PICKLE
"Here you are, kid. Two gyshal pickles."
She hands him the pickles. He gives her some money.
VIVI
"T-Thank you."
Vivi walks over to Steiner and gives him a pickle.
VIVI
"H-Here you are, Captain Steiner. It's nice and fresh."
STEINER
(Eating the pickle)
"Mmph mmphh mmpph!"
VIVI
"E-Excuse me?"
STEINER
(Swallows the pickle)
"I said why isn't anything easy anymore?"
VIVI
"Don't worry, Captain Steiner. We'll find Zidane soon. I'm sure of it."
Just then, EIKO appears behind them.
EIKO
"Hi, Steiner! Hi, Vivi!"
VIVI
"E-Eiko! What are you doing here?"
EIKO
"I'm out doing some shopping for Mother. She's cooking a big meal for Father tonight, so I have to get the best ingredients."
STEINER
"Hmph!"
EIKO
"Is something the matter, Steiner?"
STEINER
"No, nothing that concerns you."
VIVI
(To Eiko)
"Zidane is missing."
EIKO
"WHAT?! My beloved Zidane! No!"
VIVI
"He went out drinking with his Tantalus last night, but he never came back to the castle. Everyone is so worried about him. Steiner and I came to look for him, but so far we've had no luck at all. We thought Tantalus themselves might know some information, but they're keeping quiet."
EIKO
"Argh! Those naughty thieves! I bet they're keeping Zidane hostage or something!"
VIVI
"What? No, that doesn't make sense."
EIKO
"Of course it does! This is just their idea of a joke."
STEINER
"That is what I have been saying all along."
VIVI
(Quietly to himself)
"You never shut up about it."
EIKO
"I'll go talk to them. They're hardly likely to keep information from a beautiful young lady like me!"
She runs off towards the Theatre District. Steiner and Vivi give chase.
INT. LINDBLUM HIDEOUT - AFTERNOON
Baku, Cinna, Marcus and Blank are all playing Tetra Master.
BAKU
"Bwahahahaha! I win again!"
BLANK
"Well, that does it! You're takin' all my good cards, Boss!"
BAKU
"Ya need to perfect yer game, Blank!"
CINNA
"Losin' sucks!"
BAKU
"I'm sick and tired of winnin' all the time! I need ta find some decent competition!"
EIKO (O.S)
"Hello? Anyone home?"
BLANK
"...Hey? Isn't that that girl? The one Zidane likes?"
CINNA
"No, no. Zidane don't like her. She likes him."
BLANK
"Really? Cool!"
CINNA
"No, it's not cool! She's, like, 6-years-old!"
BLANK
"Oh, that bites. But if she was older, then THAT would be cool."
CINNA
"Yeah, she'll probably look pretty stunnin' in the future."
BLANK
"You think? I reckon that horn could be a MAJOR turn off!"
CINNA
"Yeah, you wouldn't wanna be blinded in the heat o' the moment, right?"
BLANK
"Oh, oh, of course not!"
BAKU
(Pissed off)
"WILL YOU TWO JUS' SHADDUP?! YER SOUNDIN' LIKE A COUPLE OF PERVERTS!"
BLANK
"..."
CINNA
"..."
EIKO (O.S)
"Come on, you two. I heard voices."
Eiko walks in, accompanied by Steiner and Vivi.
BAKU
"Well, what do we have here? Woo, such a sweet young woman in my presence."
EIKO
(Embarrassed)
"Oh, um, thank you, sir."
BAKU
"An' what can I do fer you?"
EIKO
"Uh, do you like to Zidane?"
BAKU
"Excuse me?"
EIKO
"I mean, where is dance?"
BAKU
"?"
EIKO
"Oh, listen to me! I'm all over the place now. Ahem! What I'm trying to say is; have you seen Zidane today?"
BAKU
"Sorry, my pretty. Haven't seen 'im since last night."
EIKO
"O-Okay, thank you for your help anyway."
Eiko, Steiner and Vivi all leave the building.
BAKU
"See, boys? That's how ya handle the opposite sex."
MARCUS/CINNA/BLANK
"Oooh!"
EXT. LINDBLUM - AFTERNOON
Steiner, Vivi and Eiko are outside the Tantalus hideout.
VIVI
"Well, that didn't tell us anything new. What now?"
EIKO
"I dunno. I'm fresh outta idea's. Steiner, do you have a plan?"
STEINER
"I may do. Come, we must head over to Treno."
VIVI
"Oh, this is unbelievable! We just keep tracking from one town to the next! It's starting to get really boring! I tell you, if this was some kinda story then I'd have stopped reading about 10 minutes ago!"
STEINER
"Well, its just as well that this isn't a story."
VIVI
(Sigh)
"Let's go."
EXT. MIST CONTINENT - AFTERNOON
Zidane emerges from the Ice Cavern. He looks frozen.
ZIDANE
"Ergh, that was quite possibly the coldest place I've ever been to. I'm sure glad I got outta there in one piece. Now, in which direction is Alexandria?"
EXT. TRENO - AFTERNOON
Steiner and Vivi are outside the auction hall. AMARANT is with them.
AMARANT
"So, let me get this straight. You want ME to help YOU find Zidane?"
STEINER
"...Yes."
AMARANT
"Sorry, I'm busy."
VIVI
"Amarant, please, you have to help us. We can't track him down alone. But you - an experienced bounty hunter, should have no problem."
AMARANT
"You really want my help that bad?"
VIVI
(Quietly to Amarant)
"Frankly, I don't think Captain Steiner here is up to the job."
AMARANT
"...Alright. I'll help you."
VIVI
"You will?! Great!"
AMARANT
"For a price."
STEINER
"Damn you!"
AMARANT
"I want 3000 Gil for all my trouble."
STEINER
"You...! 2000 Gil!"
AMARANT
"...2500."
STEINER
"You're a tricky one, there's no doubt about that. Very well. 2500 Gil, it is."
He hands him the money.
AMARANT
"Let's get started then, shall we?"
EXT. ALEXANDRIA PLATEAU - AFTERNOON
Zidane is wandering through the countryside. Alexandria is not too far in the distance.
ZIDANE
"Oh, wow! I-I made it! I-I'm practically home free! A-And I did it all by myself! I-I had no help from Rusty, Freya or any of the others! I'm the best! Yeah!"
He begins to run towards the town.
ZIDANE
(Shouting)
"I'm comin' home, Dagger! I'm comin' home!"
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - AFTERNOON
Dagger is sat at the dinning room table. Quina is standing next to her.
DAGGER
"They've been gone an awful long time, Quina. I hope they're alright."
QUINA
"I think they fine. Both knight and black mage very good at finding things. They find my secret hidden stash of Gil all time."
DAGGER
"I can only pray that Zidane is okay. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to him."
ZIDANE (O.S)
"You don't have to worry about me, Dagger. I'm a big boy now."
DAGGER
(Turns around)
"Zidane?!"
Zidane walks into the room.
ZIDANE
"Close, but you're way off."
DAGGER
"Zidane!"
She gets up from the table and runs over to him. They hug.
DAGGER
"W-Where have you been?!"
ZIDANE
"Its a long story, Dagger. Its a long, boring, unimpressive story."
QUINA
(Sheds a tear)
"I so happy!"
EXT. ALEXANDRIA PLATEAU - AFTERNOON
Steiner, Vivi and Amarant are walking towards Alexandria.
STEINER
(To Amarant)
"Why on earth are we back here?!"
AMARANT
"I sense that Zidane is near here."
STEINER
"You can really tell that?!"
AMARANT
"Actually, for the past seven miles I've been following his footprints. Look closely at the ground."
VIVI
(Squinting)
"Mmm, I guess you must be REALLY skilled to be able to see those!"
STEINER
"Then, does this mean that the thief made his own way back?!"
AMARANT
"It would seem that Zidane is not as dependant on others as you may have once thought."
STEINER
"Nonsense! I figure he was out here in the wilderness all along! He probably got a little too much to drink last night, and stumbled out here in a drunken daze."
VIVI
(Sarcastically)
"That would explain why it took him half a day to get home then?"
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - AFTERNOON
Zidane is talking to Dagger in the dinning room.
ZIDANE
"And that's how it was."
DAGGER
"My, my! What a day! And what a night too by the sound of things!"
ZIDANE
"Oh, it was terrible, Dagger. I was so cold."
DAGGER
"Were you scared?"
ZIDANE
"Hell, no! I just thought of you and knew I had to be strong."
DAGGER
"Aw, how cute."
ZIDANE
"Uh, and I sung our song. That helped too. Did you know there's a certain high pitch frequency in that song that makes all the local creatures crap their pants?"
Steiner, Vivi and Amarant walk into the room.
STEINER
(To Zidane)
"So, you came back."
ZIDANE
"Rusty! How's it hangin'?"
DAGGER
"Steiner, Vivi, thank you so much for all your help, but Zidane made it back all by himself anyway. Isn't that something else?"
STEINER
"Yes, quite."
ZIDANE
"You don't mind, right, Rusty? I bet it did you good to get out in the fresh air once in a while, huh?"
STEINER
"..."
AMARANT
"Well, now that everything is back to normal, I think I should get back to Treno. See ya."
He leaves the room.
ZIDANE
"Oh, was that Amarant?"
STEINER
"Alright, Zidane! What exactly happened last night?! We know that group of thieves had something to do with your disappearence! Explain yourself!"
ZIDANE
"You know how it is, Rusty. People do weird stuff when they're drunk. I guess the party just got a little out of hand."
DAGGER
"Just a little?"
ZIDANE
"Okay, actually a lot, but the important thing is that we all learned a valuable lesson today."
VIVI
"What's that?"
ZIDANE
"A lesson is a period of time spent learning or teaching, or something that is learned or taught."
STEINER
"Very droll, Zidane."
ZIDANE
"Oh, yeah, thanks, Rusty."
DAGGER
"...Zidane, I've got something for you in the bedroom, if you care to step upstairs."
ZIDANE
"Oooh! Is it a present?! It is, isn't it?! Oooh, I want it now! Give it to me now! I want Steiner and Vivi to see! Please, Dagger! Hand it over!"
DAGGER
"...I'll give it to you later."
ZIDANE
"Aw! No fair!"
STEINER
"Well, it certainly has been an eventful day. I think I'll turn in now. Good night, everyone."
He walks off.
VIVI
"Me too. Glad you're back, Zidane."
He walks off.
ZIDANE
(Sigh)
"I'm beat! I'm going straight to sleep."
DAGGER
"What about your present?"
ZIDANE
"Eh? I'll have it tomorrow night instead."
DAGGER
"But... Freya and Eiko are coming over tomorrow night for our monthly sleep-over."
ZIDANE
"Geez, you're so selfish at times, Dagger. Its all me, me, me!"
INT. LINDBLUM HIDEOUT - EVENING
Baku, Cinna, Marcus and Blank are still playing Tetra Master.
BAKU
"Bwahahahaha! I win again!"
MARCUS
(To Cinna)
"That is really startin' to piss me off."
BAKU
"Ya wanna get yer ass kicked, Marcus?!"
Marcus hangs his head in shame.
BAKU
"Another game, boys?"
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THE END
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