thanks so much to my beta and cowriter in this story PrentissRose! she is awesome and I highly recommend checking out her stories if you haven't :D

In this story, Olivia has not been at SVU very long. A few months. Her and Elliot have a night together that goes too far. She pushes him away. Can he get her back?

italics are flashbacks/thoughts.

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Olivia rolled over in her queen sized bed, admitting defeat to the insomnia that had overtaken her. She looked at the alarm clock that sat on her bedside table.

2:32 am.

This was not unusual for her these days. Since starting at SVU she found sleep harder to come by. The awful things she heard from victims and what she saw daily was enough to make anyone go insane. In the 3 months that she had been there, she had never felt anything like this. Olivia stared at the void that was next to her in the bed. The void. The void that was weighing heavily on her. The void that didn't have to be there. The void that was now breaking her a little more each time she saw it.

2 weeks ago, 8:00 pm...

Elliot and Olivia sat across from each other at their desks, working to finish their paperwork that seemed to never end.
"Liv, if we get this done some time tonight do you wanna go out for drinks at Dave's?" He held onto the hope that she would say yes. Drinks were not unusual for them after a tough week or tough case, and there were a lot of those at SVU. She looked up from her paperwork to find his blue eyes looking at her. She almost had to look away from the intensity before answering.

"Yeah, sounds good," Olivia answered with a bit of a smile. Since day one of working with him Olivia fought her feelings. She pushed away the thought of them being together out of her mind. Elliot was only her partner at work, nothing more. Elliot was also a very good friend that Olivia could say anything to and he listened. Olivia knew she had to move on from her schoolgirl crush. But damn the way he looked did not make it easy.

He almost had to look away from her too. He loved that smile. Elliot loved everything about her.

Once at the bar, they had a couple of drinks to start out and began talking. About everything. They were both letting loose. Elliot couldn't help but smile at her and they laughed more in an hour than either of them had in a while. She saw those eyes again. They looked more perfect than they had before, if that was possible. Olivia couldn't fight what he was doing to her at this moment with the alcohol in her system.

He made sure to get her home safely down the block. They hung onto each other for support. He tried not to focus where her hands were placed or where his hands were. Elliot walked her up the steps of the building. Olivia fell backwards into him, not able to balance completely on her own. He laughed and so did she. They were face to face. "Liv," he whispered. Elliot took a chance and leaned in towards those perfect lips to kiss her. Olivia wanted to fight her feelings but no longer could and gave in. It was the most perfect kiss she had ever had.

They continued their way inside up to her apartment, not able to stay off of each other. Olivia was wrong for doing this and she knew it, but she wanted it with every fiber in her body.

They hadn't made an agreement to remain friends. They hadn't made any agreement at all.

2 weeks ago, 4:21 am

Olivia awoke with someone's very strong and muscular body against hers. His arms gripped around her. Olivia began breathing heavily, trying not to panic. She was confused for a second until she realized everything that happened. It hit her like a ton of bricks. Elliot. The bar. Her porch. Her bed.

Olivia got out of his grip quickly and covered up. He woke up abruptly to see her getting dressed. They had to get up for work in less than 2 hours.

"Liv, what's wrong?," Elliot asked in a grumble from just waking up.
"What's wrong Elliot? Really? You see nothing wrong with this picture? You're still married! We're partners, at work! We just did what we did! That's what's wrong! That was not supposed to happen." She couldn't help but yell a little bit. She was angry, upset, frustrated. Olivia let go of the restraint that she had held onto for almost 3 months, and a few hours of drinks ruined it all.

"Liv... calm down. Do you really think what we did was wrong?," Elliot asked, a bit hurt by what that meant. It meant Olivia didn't want it.

"Elliot, just leave. Go home to your wife," Olivia said bluntly, gathering his clothes for him and giving them to him. "I'm going to shower now and I want you gone when I get out. See you at work," she said with as little emotion as possible. Olivia walked into the bathroom and locked herself in. She let out the cascade of emotions that flooded her. She silently began crying as she started the shower.

Elliot was dumbfounded, but did as she wished. He ruined everything. What they had as friends, and now what they may never have as more together. Elliot took one final look at her bedroom and the bathroom door before gathering his things and leaving.

Olivia had pushed him out of her life more quickly than when he had entered it. She couldn't handle it. She regretted everything she had said. Olivia was great at running from her feelings. It was easier for her than to face them. She had faced many feelings over the course of her young life, and she thought it was easier to be numbed to it than to feel it.

Elliot lay in his bed, thinking about that night, remembering. He didn't want her to run. He caused this. Things went too fast between them, and he knew it. They both knew it was wrong. They both wanted it, at the time. He thought she wanted it as much as he did.

Olivia did want it, but wouldn't come to admit it that easily. That's all she could think about. She remembered his touch, his smell, every part of him. She knew that she needed him.

Elliot knew his marriage was falling apart more every day. He preferred to be at work than at home anymore. Olivia was there for him. She helped repair it a number of times in the past few months. She talked Kathy out of her decision to move out. He told Olivia it was all okay and thanked her for what she had done. He never had the courage to tell her he didn't love his wife anymore, but was instead in love with someone else.

This was Olivia being stubborn. They both wanted to have each other, but didn't know how to say it.

He couldn't let this go. Elliot got out of bed and started getting dressed. He had to know if she felt the same way. Elliot knew this was something he needed. Olivia was the someone he needed. Elliot looked at the clock as he left.

2:40 am.

Time passed slowly as he made his way to his destination. Elliot's mind filled with lust and concern as he thought about Olivia. She hadn't called or texted about anything other than work since that night. With the amount of alcohol that had been consumed it was no one's intentions of it going that far. But it did, and they wanted more of it. They would never admit it it seemed and at this moment Elliot was very unsure if he was doing the right thing.

What had happened had been at the forefronts of their minds for 2 agonizing weeks. Elliot drove and realized he has no idea what he is going to do or say when she is in front of him. He does not know what to expect from her.

Will she ignore me? Listen to me? Slam the door in my face? Hit me? Do all of that and more?

Elliot knew she was unpredictable at this point. He couldn't help but run through everything that could go wrong. He had known her intimately only a short time, but knew her long enough to know Olivia was scarred. She was wounded from her past. She ran from anyone getting close to her. Olivia ran from fear, from commitment, from love.

2 weeks ago- 8:49 a.m.

"How was your date with Scott last night?," Elliot asked as they sorted out the day ahead of them. Olivia had started dating this guy a few weeks ago, and Elliot was happy for her. He just needed to make sure the guy was treating her right. Elliot did thorough background checks on every guy she was seeing. Scott seemed decent enough.
"Fine," Olivia answered, not looking up from her paperwork. He knew instantly it was a lie, but didn't want to push for details. She would tell him if she wanted him to know. He left her alone.

A few minutes later, he heard Olivia sigh as she felt the need to come clean about what really happened. "I broke things off last night," she said softly. "I told him I wasn't looking for anything serious right now, and my job made it difficult."

He saw a bit of hesitation in her face. "Are you okay?," he simply asked.
"Yeah I am," she said, and he could tell she was being honest. "He isn't the one," she said sarcastically with a chuckle, making reference to what all women say when they find the right guy.

"Any guy would be lucky to have you, Liv," Elliot said, then immediately wanting to take it back. It was the truth, but may be too much for what they had as partners.

Olivia only smiled at him as her heart skipped faster. She answered before it got awkward. "Thanks." She couldn't believe Elliot had just said that to her.
Olivia thought she knew what she was doing. She broke it off with another great guy because they kept getting closer to very well kept and hidden secrets about her and about her past. They started taking down the walls that had taken her so long to build.

Elliot was the only one who had ever gotten close enough. He was the only one close enough to see her take down those walls. It was always tough for Olivia, but he always saw the relief in her face and heard it in her voice when she revealed a little bit more of herself to him.

Did I take advantage of her? Did she think I did? What if she didn't really want it? Elliot's mind raced with his frantic heart as he was only a few seconds away from her apartment building now. Thoughts of doubt and regret flooded his mind as he pulled into the parking garage, the rain beginning to beat down on the pavement in a steady beat.

He walked up to her door. Elliot stared at the letters and the imperfections of the door that he had seen a hundred times before for what felt like an eternity. The few minutes he was there felt like hours.

He finally raised his fist to knock as he inhaled as much as his lungs would allow. Elliot was nervous and felt his hands, and saw them, shaking. He felt the beads of sweat forming on his brow. Elliot never remembered being this nervous in his whole life.

Here goes nothing.

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I hope everyone likes this so far! review? :)