25. A Streetcar named Desire
He always loathed this kind of ridiculous gathering.
There was no point, according to him. All he had to do was to do his job well, and of course, defend the rule of law. As a solicitor, he simply did not see the importance of attending balls or cocktail parties, not when queues of clients came to him automatically.
His mother always insisted him on attending gatherings and socialising. It seemed to him that, his mother was under the impression that he could forsake bachelorship by doing so.
The coming one was just as ordinary, and perhaps as absurd, as the previous ones.
'Matthew, dress up. Molesley will drive us there at 6 o'clock,' Isobel Crawley ordered.
'Mum,' Matthew struggled for the last time, 'I really don't think my participation is necessary. Moreover –'
'Dress up,' Mrs Crawley interjected, 'now.'
Matthew resigned to his mother. He was really frustrated by that point – why his mother always won the argument, when he was actually a solicitor!
Defeated, Matthew wore his mother's favourite suit. Matthew was literally down to earth. Even when he was born in a well-off family, plus he had a considerable income, he was never conspicuous. He looked into the mirror to check the grooming – solicitors must be neat – to show that they were professional and reliable.
He descended from the stairs and suddenly remembered what he wanted to say before his mum's interruption –
'Mum, I can drive. I don't need Molesley's help,' he informed.
'Matthew!' Mrs Crawley exclaimed, 'I've told you a million times! We're joining parties of the upper class. And we are in the upper class!'
Matthew opened his mouth, attempting to refute. Once again, he lost. He was at a loss to come up with any sound argument.
Upon arriving, he accompanied his mum to greet the hosts – Lord Grantham and Lady Grantham.
Lord Grantham was their relative – they belonged to the same family. They were all Crawleys, though his lordship was a distant cousin. Lord Grantham, the tycoon, owned Crawleys & Co., the largest commercial kingdom in the country, as well as one of the most significant groups in the globe.
'Matthew, do leave a good impression on his lordship,' Mrs Crawley muttered in undertone, 'who knows how useful such acquaintance can be!'
Matthew was speechless. He reckoned his mother was pathetic.
'Good evening, m'lord,' Mrs Crawley greeted his lordship.
'Good evening, Isobel,' his lordship replied courteously, and pecked on her hand, 'thank you for joining us tonight. I hope you will enjoy the party.' Lord Grantham's glance then wandered to Matthew and lingered. 'My dear Isobel, this must be –'
'Yes, my son, Matthew.'
'Nice to meet you, sir,' Matthew greeted him.
'Me too,' Lord Grantham smiled widely and advanced to shake hands with him, 'what are you doing?'
'I'm a solicitor,' Matthew replied.
'If I remember correctly, you just won the case for the Napiers?'
'Yes, sir.'
'The law consultant of our company will retire this month. Are you interested in the vacancy?' Lord Grantham was serious on the offer, despite the casual and friendly intonation, Matthew analysed.
Matthew was quite surprised, 'well – I will sleep on it, sir. Thanks for the offer.'
Lord Grantham beamed, 'I'll be waiting for the good news, son.'
As soon as his lordship excused himself, Mrs Crawley said immediately, 'he seems to be fond of you, Matthew!'
'Mum, um, I reckon I see a friend of mine. I, um, go to talk to him first,' Matthew bluffed.
Matthew had enough of his mum. He wandered around the banquet hall to chat with the acquaintances.
'See you around, Anthony,' he rounded up the conversation with his friend.
'Amazing,' Matthew exclaimed, with his gaze on the woman that just entered the banquet hall alone.
She was in a navy blue satin dress. The dress was simple, with some mild detailing and an elegant little bow on the waistline. She walked gracefully on the at least three inches high matching pumps. As soon as the reporters noticed her arrival, dozens of camera flashed at a light speed. The beautiful lady calmly smiled her way through the crowd, not answering any question.
Matthew found it impossible to tear his gaze from her. A strand of fringe nonchalantly hung in front of her eyes. She offhandedly swept it backward. 'Confidence', he thought.
Her eyes searched in the crowd. Looking from her direction, Matthew then knew that she's finding the host. As she made her way through the guests, one of the men clung to her. She pleasantly responded him, stroking her sapphire earring. She did not show a slightest bit of impatience. 'How come he can't sense she's annoyed?' Matthew was bemused. She ultimately shrugged him of by a friendly hug. 'Tact,' he thought.
The charming woman at last got to pop in and greet the hosts. Whilst she talked to Lady Garntham, Matthew observed that she had a habit of biting her lip in thoughts. 'Lust' was Matthew's final thought of this lady.
By that point, Matthew realised that he must remove his gaze from her. Being pragmatic, Matthew considered it pointless to let his imaginations be untamed about this particular woman. He wandered around to look for a distraction.
Just when the thoughts of that lady faded, someone called him.
'Matthew!' Lord Grantham called.
Matthew jerked around to see Lord Grantham and that lady approaching him.
'Matthew, let me introduce,' said his lordship, 'this is my eldest daughter, Mary.
'Mary, this is Matthew Crawley. He is a distant cousin.'
'Pleasure to meet you, Miss Crawley,' Matthew greeted politely.
'Oh, call me Mary. Nice to see you too, Matthew,' Mary beamed.
Lord Grantham was satisfied with the introduction. He left the pair when they began an animated conversation.
'So, what are you doing, Matthew?'
'I'm a solicitor. And you?'
'I'm the marketing director of Crawley's & Co.'
'Should be a challenging job.'
'It's fine. Where's your partner?'
'I don't have one. And you too, I assume?'
'Right.'
The two chatted for a while.
'What earned me such an inspiring and ample conversation?' Matthew suddenly asked.
'You think?' Mary tossed the question back to him with a smile.
'It's for you to decide,' Matthew replied smoothly.
'Is it? Have a guess then,' she said with a satisfied smile.
'There can be no reason,' he responded casually.
'No,' she snapped curtly, 'Andromeda won't go to the sea monster for no reason.' She looked at him challengingly, wearing a playful beam.
'Perhaps she's attracted to him?' he prompted teasingly.
'Unlikely, almost impossible,' she elaborated, 'it's meant to be a sacrifice.'
'"Meant to be". So you're not certain with it?' he refuted using her words. It was his best trick in court.
'Correct. But it is deduced that Andromeda prefers Perseus over the beast. Isn't it logical?'
'Who knows? If Sisiphus enjoys the never-ending task of rolling the giant rock, that's not a punishment then. Same rule applies.'
He stared at her while tasting the fruit of victory. She seemed to be impressed by his sharp tongue and quick mind.
'Go back to the question then,' he broke the silence. 'I don't think it's because I'm the defender of Athena,' he joked.
'Can't it be your appealing personality or your penetrating gaze?' she smirked.
'So you think I'm appealing?' he knew she was trying to embarrass him. In return, he would be the one to make her coy, at least that was the aim of the question.
'No, certainly not,' she replied lightly, 'just the other way round. I find you a hopeless, self-absorbed, sharp-tongued git.'
Both chortled, with the accompaniment of the live band. They exchanged a brief gaze.
'May I?' Matthew reached out his hand.
'Give me a convincing rationale,' she said in a breathy undertone.
'Because you want to dance with me,' he advanced to whisper into her ear.
Her face was illuminated by the blaze in the orbs and that mysterious smile. He took her hand and twirled her to the dance floor.
His hand was on her waist. They were really close to each other then, especially their faces. Not that he was short or she was tall, but it was because of her high heels. Matthew considered her heels as 'a tool to overwhelm the under-confident admirers'.
'She is indeed very trim, and she has a dazzling figure,' Matthew commented in his head. He had nowhere to put his eyes. If he did not look at her beautiful face, he wanted to admire her curve. But that would be most inappropriate. If he looked at her face, he lost himself in fantasy. He was in a dilemma then.
'What are you thinking?' she pulled him back from the whirl of thoughts.
'Nothing,' he shrugged with a feeble smile.
The couple swayed to and fro with the gentle waltz. Mary's head rested on Matthew's broad shoulder.
'I feel like this moment can be eternal. I really enjoy this party. Pleasure is unprecedented for me in a cocktail party,' he told her softly.
She chuckled and said, 'it's a great party, because I hold it.'
He too chortled.
'I don't normally dance, you know,' he said, 'but it is truly magical.'
A strand of fringe fell in front of her eye. Before she could pull away to sweep it backwards, he accomplished the task for her.
They felt like the motion was done in slow-motion. Not that they did not enjoy the moment, but it was too much of suppression – of heartbeat and chemistry. Tugging her hair, he saw her cheeks reddening vigorously. Her pink face made her look even more appealing. She wriggled out of the close eye contact.
'Well, I reckon this is miraculous if that is magical,' she faltered.
The party was close to the end. Still being bashful, Matthew decided that he must not let her slip away.
'Mary, do you fancy a dinner with me, um, tomorrow?' he invited.
'Well, I'm afraid I can't make it tomorrow,' she replied.
'How about next Friday?' he offered.
He was anxious waiting for her reply. He fidgeted and swallowed unconsciously.
'I guess I'm fine with it,' she responded.
A relieved faint smile spread across his face.
'I'll pick you up at 7 at the headquarters of Crawleys & Co.,' he said.
'Cool,' she responded, 'I think I should go now.'
'Oh – goodbye,' he muttered, 'nice to meet you again.'
He quickly caught a peck on her cheek. Mary was happy with that, at least he supposed so.
The kiss marked the end of the remarkable night. Nonetheless, the memory of Mary haunted Matthew for the entire weekend.
'Matthew Crawley! You must not have such inappropriate thoughts on Mary. She's a refined lady to be respected and treated delicately. So ditch that, Matthew!' he ordered himself when he had a fantasy on Mary one night.
Matthew was relieved when finally the long anticipated Friday arrived.
He picked his favourite suit and arranged the date with great prudence and patience.
'Matthew,' Mrs Crawley began, 'are you going on a date tonight?'
He knew his mother. She's wearing a subtle yet ecstatic beam.
'No, mum,' he answered, 'just a good friend.'
He tried to suppress his equally ecstatic smile.
Eventually…
It's 6.45. Matthew was waiting for Mary. He double-checked his grooming. This time, not because he wanted to respect his profession, but because he wanted to impress her. He smiled when he heard the sound of high heels. She's early then.
'Good evening Mary,' he greeted her happily.
'You too, Matthew,' Mary replied and advanced to embrace him. Matthew was obviously jolly because of the surprising treat.
'So let's go,' he exclaimed, whilst opening the door for Mary.
He led her to an exquisite restaurant. The bunch of roses was ready, as the waiter informed Matthew. So far, Mary was satisfied with the arrangement.
'This is for you, Mary,' he presented her the bunch of beautiful roses.
'Thank you Matthew. You really know how to spoil a woman,' she complimented.
He smiled and said, 'I just know how to spoil you.'
'You're as sharp-tongued as last time,' she chortled.
The two shared a witty and humorous dinner. Their relation grew whilst they sat closer and closer to each other.
Eventually, Matthew found it too overwhelming for him. He pulled his chair back to its original place.
Mary noticed it and joked, 'you are the sea monster, not me.'
'Of course you're not. You're Andromeda,' he replied immediately, 'but more attractive and wittier.'
'And?' she pressed on.
'And,' he said, 'loved by the sea monster.'
Silence. They exchanged a terse and coy gaze.
'I know I'm attractive,' she covered up and smiled faintly.
'You certainly are,' he faltered.
He crossed and uncrossed his legs repeatedly, attempting to conceal how her attractiveness affected his body.
Mary smiled at that point, because even he could hide her influence on his physical self, his body language sold him out – he gave away her impact on his mental self.
'Matthew,' she advanced to say to him softly, 'you're so different.'
Mary observed how each syllable had a chemical reaction on Matthew. He pursed his lips forcefully. His fists balled to shatter his desire. However, he could not hide his orbs where wants of her glittered.
'I'll – I'll get the bill,' he frantically withdrew himself from the tough conversation.
Mary smirked, thinking how distinct this true gentleman was, amongst her admirers, colleagues and subordinates.
He drove her home as the night was ripe. He could not wait to drop her off. Her presence stole his sanity. He wanted to regain his autonomy over himself. It was as if they were in a racing car.
'Are you actually in a hurry?' she teased, 'or you want to get rid of me that badly?'
'Well, I–' he sighed.
She was bemused by his reaction. She simply knew too well why he had such reaction. Mary secretly admired his self control. At the same time, she was amused by him.
He took a deep breath before helping her out of the car. 'Finally everything is settled,' he thought with relief.
'Thank you,' she mumbled, as Matthew helped her out.
'You enjoy yourself tonight?' Matthew asked.
'Certainly,' Mary replied with a smile, 'it's difficult not to, when I have you for company.'
Whilst listening to her, Matthew observed her body language. 'Lips apart, arms uncrossed, not rummaging for keys – green light to a goodbye kiss,' he contemplated.
'Same here,' he smiled.
'Ok, all I need is an awkward silence,' he thought.
Hush.
Their eyes met testily. His eyes caught hers – and locked.
'Good night,' he said to her gently and caught a sugary peck on her lips.
She closed her eyes to enjoy the sweetness of the kiss.
Matthew was the one to break away. He did not wish to indulge in or addict to the sensation. He was afraid it would be too late for him to pull away.
'This is it,' he thought, 'this is the end of it, Mary and I.'
'Matthew –'
'Yes?'
'Do you believe "the end is a start"'?
'"The end is a start"? Like?'
'Like – this.'
She pulled him closer until their lips met –
She knew that would break his self constraint and unleash the sea monster inside him. He knew that he could no longer suppress them – the want, the urge, the desire.
They were not satisfied with a gentle kiss anymore.
He pulled her closer so as to eliminate the emptiness between them. She responded him by turning the tender kiss in to a fierce and ardent one.
As both of them broke away for air, after the at-least-one-minute snog, Mary grabbed the chance to rummage for the keys. Matthew could not withstand a moment without her. Whilst she turned her back on him to unlock the door, he planted light pecks along her cheeks, ears and neck. She seemed to have difficulty focusing the keyhole as her hand was quivering.
'Matthew,' she faltered, 'I can't – I can't – unlock the door – this – way.'
'I don't care,' he smirked. He knew she was melting into him.
As soon as she pulled him into her home by his tie, he pinned her on the wall of the living room. The pair shared a passionate kiss. It was exactly the same as his fantasy. He was ecstatic to have his dream realised – the joy of claiming Mary.
She turned the table by flipping him over. She pinned him onto the wall.
'Say it. Say you need me,' she whispered with a smirk.
'I need you. I want you, Mary,' he panted, 'you make my knees weak.'
Her smirk and initiative ravished him. It made him want more of it. He carried her in wedding style by her surprise.
'You really know how to please women,' she chuckled breathily.
He walked to her spacious bedroom with her in his arms. Her head lay on his shoulder.
'Do you know you're the most attractive woman I've ever met? This is the best moment of my life,' he exclaimed in between kisses.
She giggled and said, 'you're special. I know it ever since Papa's introduction.'
He beamed with radiance, knowing how his crush commented him.
'You're a specialist in spoiling women, aren't you? She laughed.
He chuckled in response.
He tossed her onto the giant bed.
'So the sea monster is released?' she teased.
'It's been unleashed since its first encounter with Andromeda,' he replied, half-jokingly, half-sincerely.
Matthew towered over Mary, who was kicking off her killer heels. Abandoning her jacket, he promptly unbuttoned her shirt and unzipped her skirt. His eyes darkened when the set of black lingerie was revealed. They did not miss any chance to exchange kisses.
'The woman in black then,' Matthew joked.
Mary grasped his lack of attention to flip over. She was then the one in control of the game. 'See who laughs in the end,' she smirked. She busied herself by attacking his lips with hers. Her hands worked on his shirt. When his shirt was done, her hands continued to romp about his muscular body.
She snickered upon arriving –
'My belt –'
'Yes. Off. Now,' she ordered with a playful grin.
He obeyed without a second thought. With his belt unbuckled, she could easily remove the remaining garments.
'The sea monster is growing, Matthew,' she teased, when she was working on his trousers, 'sounds like a gigantic and tough one.'
She could see how his face turned from pink to crimson. She chortled at the scene. He was all at her mercy then, she thought.
'Think you win the game?' Matthew panted, rolling around with her. He once again occupied the dominant position.
She giggled and attacked his lips again.
'Can you not be drop dead gorgeous?' he smiled.
'I'm merely being inviting,' she chortled, as a matter of fact.
Notwithstanding a moment without his lips, she leaned in to start a violent one again.
'Do you know the strap is not in the right place?' he sniggered when they broke away in case of suffocation.
'I can't take care of it just now,' she panted and beamed.
'Then let me liberate you from the nuisance,' he offered.
'Oh thank you!' she exclaimed mockingly.
Still, she willingly let him have the honour of unclasping the black bra.
'I'm gonna claim what is rightfully mine,' he declared with mischief.
'No, you are mine,' she amended.
'My heart and soul are yours, but you,' he argued, 'belong to me.'
He then swiftly handcuffed her and trailed kisses all along her torso. At first, she struggled against the status of under manipulation. But later on, she was feeble because the kisses melted her.
'Are all men that possessive?' she breathed rapidly.
'I'm not usually the possessive type,' he snickered, 'but you make me.'
He was then the commander of the battle. He removed the final barrier towards victory. Through the steady rhythm, he set her on fire. Blaze was almost visible and tangible. The couple could barely breathe properly.
'The process of integration is almost complete,' he thought.
Her brain was literally blank at the same time. 'Just let him,' she thought.
The tension of their bodies was mounting. They had great difficulty catch their breath.
'Matthew – I – I –' she could only blurt out inconsistent words then –
'Mary!' he cried.
Together, the couple reached the climax of the music. They brought each other to the state of bliss. It could be observed from their bittersweet expression.
The two rested in embrace to recover from the delight. He pecked on her temple when his breath resumed to normal.
'Thank you for the night, Matthew,' Mary puffed, obviously still catching her breath, 'good night.' She pecked on his lips.
She was exhausted, he thought. She slumbered in his arms. Tranquilly, her bosom rose and fell in a steady pace. He smiled looking at her. Moonlight shone on her angelic silhouette. Her charming face twinkled with flickering starlight.
'She is the one then,' he thought merrily.
He slowly caressed her face. He kissed her mildly and his lips lingered for a moment or two. He felt like this moment could last forever and it did….
Sun ray projected on his body. It was so warm and cosy that he did not want to wake up. The noise of water splashing annoyed him though. He opened his eyes to discover that Mary was not beside him.
Mary was ready to go then.
'Good morning Matthew,' she smiled, 'do feel at home! You can use the towels in the bathroom.'
'Mary, um, you fancy a breakfast?' he blurted out.
'Breakfast?' she queered.
Their gaze met then. He knew she understood. She got the feeling from him that she had the correct notion.
She bit her lips – she hesitated. He could predict the answer –
'Matthew,' Mary faltered, 'well – breakfast is my last priority at this point. I'm sor –'
'That's alright,' he tried not to sound demoralised, 'tell me whenever you're available.'
She threw him a sympathetic look and gave him a friendly hug, leaving Matthew with a blank expression, in bed.
His eyes, together with his desire, lingered on the waning silhouette of that particular woman.