Down With The Sickness
It had all started with a simple case of Amon getting the sniffles…No one thought anything of it…after all it was rumored among the members of the stnj that Amon had an immune system that could even fight off the black plague…
However, the dark hunters sniffles slowly began to evolve into more serious symptoms…The constant sniffing of his nose became sneezing, and was soon followed by the inability to breath…But it didn't stop there…It wasn't long after the sneezing and breathing issues started that a terrible lung wrenching cough began…And to top it off…Within the next few days of constant torment Amon, the dark hunter…the lone wolf…the idol of every man…developed a fever…and thusly caught one of the worst cases of the flu that anyone had ever seen….
And yet…no one ever for saw the horrific events that were to take place after Amon took a leave of absence from work…. not even Amon himself… For unbeknownst to him…dark forces were plotting his downfall...
And who would these dark forces be other than his golden haired, seemingly innocent partner Robin…and of course…Meow…(yes yes I have finally reached the level of mental insanity where I have written myself into one of my horrible fics merely to cause mass ooc chaos and torture poor wittle Amon….smirks evilly)
The main working quarters of the stnj building were filled with nothing but an eerie silence…Ever since Amon had taken sick it was as if the whole world had merely gone to sleep to wait for the day of his well being…even his fellow hunters…
Hatori and Kosaka had already taken off; Doujima was reading-more like skimming over- a year old fashion magazine. Sakaki was asleep and drooling at his workstation. Karasuma was zoning out while attempting to sort some case files, and Robin was off in the land of the love sick Amon fan girls…Even Michael had stopped his normally relentless typing and was now absentmindedly fiddling with his MP3 player that had broken three days ago…
All was silent…all was peaceful…and oh god all was so fcking boring that the members of the stnj were getting ready to hang themselves…Normally they would have welcomed a break in their cases like this…but with the weather gray and dreary as it was, Amon being out sick, and the sheer lack of amusing doings well…. everything had long since gone to hell…
IT was then that a single noise sounded though the silence, shattering it like a baseball did a window…the ever so annoying. Metallic click of a pencil against a metal desk…
Thrown out of her drool fest in the ever so happy Amon fan girl land, Robin slowly turned her head around to face the source of the noise: Meow…the assistant hunter. The thirteen-year-old girl was idly tapping the end of her pencil upon the desk at which she sat…Her large brown eyes glazed over with boredom.
It was at that precise moment that sweet, innocent, little Robin was the first of her teammates to snap. With speed that no one knew she could posses, the blonde was up out of her chair, and across the room with her hands locked firmly around Meow's neck.
" You tap that goddamned pencil one more time, and I'm gonna rip your bloody head off!"
Once more the room returned to silence, save for the sound of Meow's pencil hitting the floor as it fell from her hand. By this point Robin had hoisted the other girl well above the ground, with only her hand locked firmly around her neck to support her.
Eye twitching, Meow, weakly brought her hands up to her throat and let out a small cough.
"Air…" She murmured, her normally pale face going red. Robin glared at the girl and released her vice grip, allowing Meow to fall limply to the ground in a gasping heap.
"…Damn I thought you were really gonna rip my head off!" O.O She coughed, hands tenderly rubbing her now red throat.
" I was had you continued that damned tapping…" Robin growled, now looking rather demonic. It was at that moment that the girl noticed the eyes of her fellow hunters locked on her, and quickly dilvered a glare to each of them…a glare that probably could of even have had Amon quivering on the ground like a beaten puppy.
"Umm…right…" Meow muttered, shifting slowly away from Robin while still on the ground "…so what bug crawled up your ass and died?" O.O
Quick as lighting Robin set the cowering girl on fire. And with a stream of cusses that could of a made a sailor cry, the girl took off running around the room desperately trying to find something to douse the fire that Robin had started on head. She found her relief in a cold pot of coffee, and quickly pored it all over her head…Then fainted…for no reason what so ever ;;
"Robins lost her mind…Again! Run for your life!" Doujima cried…. then jumped out the window…soon to be followed by the rest of her teammates, save for Robin, Meow, and Michael (however there was a conveniently placed pillow truck under the window and no one actually died…)
Left quivering in his Chair, Michael slowly began to attempt to scoot away from the steaming Robin.
" N-now…Robin…it's going to be alright…"no sudden movments. No sudden movements…don't wanna set her off again…
Slowly, Robin turned to face the frightened hacker…her eerie head movements and expression making her look like something straight out of the Exorcist. However, in split second the girl collapsed down to the ground, tears streaming from her vivid green eyes.
" I want Amon baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!" She cried, causing Michael to fall of his Chair and Meow, who had some how woken up within the last few minuets and gone unnoticed up to this point, to sit up.
" H-hey C-calm down!" Michael said hurriedly, while righting himself. " I'll print you out a map to his house! Y-you can go visit him!"
That quelled the fire witches tears…in a flash she was sitting at the hackers feet like an anxious two-year-old, with wide and teary anime eyes.
" Reawwy?" She asked softly, her voice, like her expression, was that of a two-year-old's.
" Yes reawwy…"Michael repeated slowly, still rather afraid of the emotionally unstable fire witch
"Oh oh I wanna come too and make Amon all feel better!" Meow piped up, " My great great great great great great great great great great grandmother was a pharmacist! Medicine has been passed down through my family for generations!"
" G-great…" Michael stuttered softly, now really beginning to fear for his life…as well as Amon's..." N-now about that map…"
With Amon…. during the last few moments of his normal existence
As all sickies did, Amon had spent his sick days off from work napping, drowning himself in chicken soup, and hacking his lungs out…such a joy these past week had been…
At the current moment he found himself sitting, half dead, in front of his TV, while being lazily strewn out upon his black leather couch…His normal attire for the past few days had consisted mainly of the same thing…a pair of black silk boxers…a baggy gray sweat shirt…a black bath robe…and well…a pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers…Truly this was a less glorious side of the dark hunter.
Upon hearing the sound of his doorbell, Amon slowly pushed himself up from his couch, pulled his bathrobe tighter around himself, and plodded slowly over to his front door. As he reached the heavy wooden door, the bell sounded again, causing his ears to begin to ring.
Now slightly annoyed, the hunter gruffly opened the door and prepared to chase off whoever he found there…however…instead of the normal annoying neighbor asking to borrow a cup of sugar, Amon was met with a sight that shortened his life by about ten years.
Standing on his doorstep were none other than Meow and Robin, their faces bright and smiling…oh god…. it was a sign of the apocalypse…
"AMOOOOOOOOOOOON!" The girls squealed in unison and quickly proceeded to tackle the disgruntled hunter to the ground.
" W-what in the name of hell are you doing here?" Amon coughed, though with some difficulty due to the fact that he now had a couple of crazed girls sitting on his chest.
" Well Robin flipped out again so-" Meow began…only to be cut off my Robins fist in her face (Amon- OO WTF?)
"Michael gave us a map to your apartment so we could c-"Meow jabbed Robin hard in the rib cage with her elbow.
"SO I could visit you!" The younger girl (who now had a black eye) finished proudly
"We!" Robin corrected harshly, and smacked Meow over the head with a vase that was just randomly lying on the ground ;;
During the entire fight Amon had been lying there looking like this OO. However, with Meow lying on his floor with a grade a concussion…and Robin threatening to spontaneously combust, the dark hunter thought it best to finally speak up.
" I-I see…"He said as calmly as he could manage, all the while trying to get off the ground.
Finally getting the hint, Robin slowly crawled off Amon and cheerfully picked Meow off the ground.
" So Amon how you feeling?" Robin piped up
"…. Not to well actually…in fact…I'm so sick I think you should leave…"He quickly faked a cough "…. I don't want you getting sick after all…."
Robin quickly shook her head " don't worry about me! Meow and I came here to take care of you after all! And that's what were going to do…!"
" Yeah yeah! And I brought my great great great great great great great great great great grandmother's famous home made medicine!" Meow suddenly cried out, having awoken from her coma.
"…. G-great…"Amon muttered, the remaining color in his face fading completely from view.
Quickly the two girls guided their hero back to his couch and pushed him down onto it.
" Now you just sit there" Meow cooed softly, and then turned to Robin " he needs to take his medicine, go get some water Robin."
The blonde quickly nodded and darted off to the kitchen, leaving Amon quivering in fear on his couch, and Meow happily fawning over him. Then Robin hastily returned from the kitchen with a rather large glass of water in hand.
" Here you Amon-kun." She cooed, a bright…and frankly very eerie smile spread across her face. Amon hesitantly reached out and took the glass of water
"…Listen…"He muttered "…. you really don't have to be doing all of this…"
"Of course we do!" Meow said firmly. " Its our job as presidents of your fan club to see to it that your every whim is tended to!" She then began fishing around in the pockets of her jacket, and then finally pulled out a small glass vile filled with an odd bubbling green liquid.
" F-fan club?" He choked "…hey wait a minuet what are you going to do with t-!" He was cut off as Meow quickly thrust the vile into his mouth, and allowed the thick green liquid to drain his throat.
For a moment Amon just sat there wide eyed…then the taste hit him…his eyes rolled back in their sockets as he collapsed weakly into the back of his couch, mouth open and flesh an ashen gray. The glass of water, quickly forgotten, spilled all over the couch.
'You killed him!" Robin screeched, her eyes going wide.
"What are you talking about? It's working fine." Meow stated coolly, her tone confident.
It was then that the dark hunter awoke into a violent coughing fit.
" What the hell was in that stuff?" He gasped in between coughs.
" Well ummm…. lets see…"Meow murmured, fishing out a slip of paper from her back pocket. " ah here it is…great great great great great great great great great great grandma's magic medicine contains one pint boiled pigs brains, two table spoons dried mouse hair…" She paused as Amon turned over the arm of his couch and threw up in a conveniently placed potted plant. O.O
"Oh yeah!" Meow continued brightly " side effects may include vomiting, other stomach issues, liver failure, seizures, increased risk of cancer…oh and extreme sexual urges…. after all great great great great great great great great great great grandma's magic medicine also doubles as a great male aphrodisiac.
At that Amon's eyes went even wider (if that's possible O.o), and Robin blushed slightly.
" What?"Meow questioned innocently, still completely ignorant of the chaos she had caused.
Slowly Amon stood up from his couch, and advanced on the two cowering girls " I-I'm going to-..." Amon started then paused, and stared down at them
" W-what?"Robin squeaked tears welling up in her bright eyes.
" Kiss you…"He finished, his eyes now taking on a heart shape.
There was just enough for Meow to hurriedly scamper out of the way, and Robin to let out a startled 'epp!' before Amon pounced.
The Next Day
Life at the stnj building had returned to normal that day, save for the absence of Amon…and now Robin, and Meow…All were wondering what had happened since the two female hunters had left the previous day to 'help' poor Amon…but no one asked…out of fear of what might happen…
However, wonderings were only increased as the elevator doors opened with a loud ding, and Amon followed by Meow and Robin padded slowly into the room.
The dark hunter's skin was ashen gray, and he had dark circles under his eyes. Also…it looked as if he were even sicker than the day he had left for his first sick day…Robin and Meow didn't appear much better off…for both of the girls were pale as hell, and Meow's left eye had developed a twitching problem.
Slowly without a single word, the hunters divided up and went to their individual workstations. As they took their seats Sakaki looked to Amon in question, but the dark hunter merely shook his head, before slamming it firmly against his desk, and ceased all movements. Robin merely sat in her desk shaking like a leaf; however, a small smile was spread across her face…though her reasons for smiling were purely unknown.
"What the hell happened!" Doujima whispered, leaning over to Meow. The girl merely turned slowly to look at her fellow hunter and smiled sadly.
"…I can't believe what I just saw," she murmured softly, her eyes glazed over.
"What happened?" Doujima repeated hurriedly, now beginning to fret.
" Well…."Meow started "…Amon took his medicine so now he's all better but…"
"But what?"
"…. But Robins not a virgin any more…."
Amon…what…the fuck…WAS THAT!
Meow- flees in terror as various blunt objects are hurled at her
Robin: just sorta sits there….her eye all twitchy like O.o
Meow hide under her desk ok sorry for the crappyness of it all people, but hell iv been sick for like three weeks and well…I guess that sorta inspired this O.O…though I don't know how…any way I'm really sorry I haven't updated Blood Witch in like forever but I've been having major writers block, not to mention I've been as busy as hell so I'm sorry and please don't kill me….
Amon: oh don't worry…they wont hurt you…
Meow: looks hopeful they wont?
Amon: Smiles sweetly No…his smile changes into a death glare BECAUSE IM GOING TO KILL YOU BEFORE THEY GET A CHANCE!
Robin: walks in front of the violent scene blocking it, then she bows slightly Please forgive Meow for well …being herself…after all she is mentally unstable…Also please R and R, but try and keep the flames mild…Meow realizes that this story wasn't really meant to be comedic…it just…is walks away revealing Amon standing over Meow's dead body
Amon: …well that was easy…. walks away
Meow:…is dead Xx