Once upon a time there was a prince named Harry Potter.
Because his parents passed away when he was just a little boy, his godfather Sirius Black spoiled him rotten to make up for the loss.
He gave him everything Harry could possibly desire, or so he thought.
The prince didn't seem to care about his beautiful palace, the hordes of servants and special tailored robes, he just wanted a partner with whom he could happily rule over England.
After the prince informed Sirius about his burning desire to marry, he immediately began his search to find the best possible candidate for his godson.
Every week he came home from his travels and brought another prince to the palace, but none of them seemed to please prince Harry. They were all tainted by plastic surgery and kissed the hem of his robes with their silicone lips.
After a while the prince had almost given his hopes up and feared he would have to settle for a princess instead of a prince.
Until on a certain day a storm broke loose above England.
Soaked to the skin a blond prince knocked on the grand doors of the palace and claimed he was real and untouched by any kind of plastic surgeon.
Harry's godfather however had his doubts, the face of the young prince almost looked carved out of stone. It was hard to believe he was born with such perfection. But knowing that the blond might even be prince Harry's last chance, Sirius said nothing and offered the sodden prince shelter. But before the blond was allowed to settle for the night, Sirius ordered the servants to arrange fifty-two matrasses on the guest bed, placed under the bottom matrass a green apple and hid it from sight.
The next morning the godfather asked how the blonde had slept with all those soft matrasses underneath him. However, he was surprised by the answer: it seemed the blond hardly even closed an eye due to the nagging feeling he was lying on something really hard.
The godfather concluded the blond had spoken the truth about being untainted: no prince with a silicone bum could have felt the apple through all of those matrasses and Botox would have refrained him from making the several sleepy facial expressions that crossed the blonde's face.
Knowing he had found a real prince at last, prince Harry married the blonde beauty Draco Malfoy and they lived together happily ever after. The green apple was safely tucked away in a museum under the influence of a preservation charm where everybody in England could admire the fruit that brought the two royals together.
The end.