At first, when the news of a five-year reunion for her high-school class reached her attention, Cheryl was skeptical, and so amused that the people she had graduated with had so little going for them in life that they believed a reunion necessary already that she could have laughed for hours. Now, however, she sat in a taxi parked on the street, staring out her window at Pop's diner. She pondered the reason why she was here, and even debated just telling the driver to start the car back up and leave, but something stopped her from doing so, her fingers loosely gripping the inside handle of the car door.
She thought, maybe, it was the sight of the small diner she had cherished for the entirety of her four years of high-school, but that didn't seem a satisfying enough explanation. No, there was something else, something rooted far deeper than homesickness for the small town she had run away from five years ago, and it troubled her that she couldn't place the feeling.
Batting away a final thought of leaving, Cheryl handed the driver the amount due and pulled the handle to open the door, forcing herself to place her feet on the rough concrete and stand. Stop being so afraid, she told herself, inhaling deeply to calm herself; what's the worst thing that could happen? With the weakest pep-talk she had ever devised, she made her way to the parking lot of the diner - where extra tables and chairs had been set up for the occasion - before the panicking voice inside her head could convince her to turn around and never come back. She wondered if she was simply scared to come face-to-face with those she had tormented through all of high-school, wondered if she worried that she would be left sitting alone all night while everyone else chatted ecstatically around her, and a nauseous feeling quickly took refuge in her stomach at the thoughts. Cheryl Bombshell, you can do this. The old nickname flooded her with nostalgia, somehow managing to comfort her the slightest bit as she finally pushed open the door to the diner.
Between the parking lot and the inside of the diner, it looked as though everyone else were already there.
Her appearance certainly turned multiple heads, and their gazes brushed a feeling of discomfort over her entire body, causing the saliva in her throat to thicken and make it a challenge to swallow. As always, she pushed on, sending a smile in the direction of anyone watching her as she made her way to the end of the counter where nobody sat, taking a seat on one of the open stools.
"Well, if it isn't Miss Cheryl Blossom!" Pop announced excitedly, a large smile stretching across his face as he appeared in front of her. "It's been years since I've seen you, how have you been?"
Well, if everyone's attention wasn't on me before… "I've been fine, Pop. What about you? How's the diner doing?"
"Couldn't be better!" Pop exclaimed, handing Cheryl a glass of water. "Shall I get you a strawberry milkshake and some onion rings, Miss Blossom?"
"A strawberry milkshake would be lovely."
It took barely any time for the milkshake to be placed in front of her, and she thanked Pop before he hurried off to tend to another customer. Pulling the glass closer to her, she took hold of the straw and guided it to her lips to take a drink, letting the taste of Pop's unbeatable milkshakes overwhelm her. This was one of the things she had missed about Riverdale the most, Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe, and it was almost enough to make her wish she had never left. Picking up her milkshake, Cheryl slowly spun around in the stool, letting her gaze wander over the other occupants of the room. No one was looking at her anymore, in fact, they were all caught up in conversation with someone, leaving her - as she had feared - sitting alone, mostly unnoticed. She admits, she could have chosen to sit in a different spot where there were more people or gone up to someone herself, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to do either, so she knew she would have to take some of the fault for why she was being ignored. However, when she turned to scan over the other side of the diner she realized she had been incorrect in assuming no one was paying her any attention, and the gaze that she found settled on her set her heart racing and her mind scrambling.
Flashes of those big brown eyes and that radiant crooked smile bombarded Cheryl's memory, causing her chest to tighten as though their owner had punched through it and grabbed hold of her heart. Coming back to reality, she found those same eyes watching her intently, attraction and admiration swirling around them as they roamed all over Cheryl slowly, seemingly taking in everything about her appearance before locking with Cheryl's own panicked gaze. She could see the emotions dancing around brown irises as though the girl was standing right in front of her instead of across the room, and the look she was receiving lit her entire body and mind in the same way it had in her high-school years.
What am I…? Tearing her gaze away, she spun back around in her stool to face the counter, setting her milkshake down and closing her eyes as she forced herself to breathe. I need to… but she stopped herself in the middle of that thought; no. No. I'm not going to leave just because of her. Now she knew what she had been so afraid of.
It had nothing to do with facing the people she had terrorized, but the one person she had desperately needed and still left behind with the others; Toni Topaz, the girl that had made every part of her unbearable life something to love and enjoy and cherish. She had been in love with Toni, and the feelings had been mutual, their relationship starting in sophomore year and lasting until the end of their senior year at Riverdale High. Toni had been the only one to realize that there was something broken inside of Cheryl, and the only one who had cared enough to help her despite her attempt to lock everyone out and push them away. It hadn't taken long after she had first opened up to Toni for them to fall in love, and it was a love Cheryl didn't know if she would ever find again, one she found herself craving every day since she had last seen Toni.
She found herself craving Toni.
But these were all feelings she suppressed as she steadied her uneven breaths, keeping her eyes shut as she worked at forgetting the look she had just seen in Toni's eyes, forgetting the love, the desire, the worry, forgetting every emotion dancing around those brown eyes that made her lose focus with such ease. It was a hopeless battle though, so long as the image of the girl remained in the front of her mind she was trapped. And Cheryl had never been good at erasing Toni from her thoughts. Not even after she had broken both of their hearts by running away from the paradise they had built together.
That was the one thing - out of all the horrific things she had done - she regretted the most.
Still got that same look that sets me off
Guess there's just something about you
I got these feelings, can't let them show
Cause I went and let you go
I shouldn't have let you go
The summer was nearing an end, so everyone was out soaking up as much sun as they could before being confined inside school walls again for college - well, nearly everyone. Cheryl and Toni were locked away in Toni's trailer, lost in a world only they could venture to, reminiscing in every memory they had created inside the worn walls and making new ones for them to hold close. If they had a say in what the future held, this would be the last time they were inside this trailer, the last time they were in Riverdale.
Together, they had chosen a college far away from Riverdale, one where their families wouldn't be able to reach them easily, especially Cheryl's mother. They had planned to leave as soon as the dorms opened up for the new students to move in, which would be in a few days, so Cheryl had packed everything she needed and moved it into Toni's place temporarily until they could catch a flight. She had been there a few days, wasting away time with Toni until they could finally escape the horror-filled town they lived in.
"What are you going to miss the most about this place?" Toni asked curiously, running her fingers delicately through Cheryl's hair.
They lay together on Toni's small bed, Toni lying on her back while Cheryl laid on her side, curled into Toni with her head on her chest and her arm hooked tightly across her midsection. There was something strange about the way Toni asked the question and a trace of hesitance laced in her voice, causing Cheryl to lift her head and rest her chin down on Toni's chest instead so she could see her.
"I don't think I'm leaving anything memorable behind," Cheryl answered honestly, her memories of this town coated thickly with suffering. "What about you?"
Toni's gaze averted, her teeth closing around her bottom lip in thought. She's worried about something. Cheryl could tell by the emotions threatening to spill from brown eyes, by the way a heartbeat hammered against bone to vibrate Cheryl's chin where it rested against Toni's sternum. Bringing her hand up to rest on Toni's stomach, she skirted her fingers over the piercing decorating Toni's bellybutton, well aware that the area was sensitive.
"I'll miss the Serpents, my real family," Toni finally replied, her voice a barely audible whisper. "I'll miss…"
But she hesitated to list anything else, and that's when Cheryl knew there was something really wrong. Sitting up, Cheryl tucked her legs underneath her as she watched Toni push herself up as well, her eyes filled with a pain she couldn't hide from Cheryl even if she were to try.
"Toni? What's wrong?"
Brown eyes watered as Toni met her gaze, her lips parting for something to come out only for the silence to lengthen. Toni reached over to grip Cheryl's knee comfortingly, like she was the one crying. Cheryl didn't push, bringing her hand down to cover Toni's as she waited for her to find the strength to say what she needed to.
"I… I should have told you sooner, Cheryl, I really should have."
"Tell me what?" Cheryl pushed for whatever was coming, bracing herself for the worst. "Whatever it is, you know you can trust me with it, right?"
Toni nodded, taking a deep breath as preparation. "I can't go."
It was as if the entire world had frozen around Cheryl so that those three words were the only things acquirable for her. I can't go. They echoed, again and again, seeming to worsen with each repetition until she was falling over the edge into an abyss she didn't understand.
"You what?" Was the only thing she seemed able to say as her mind reeled frantically.
"I can't go with you, Cheryl," Toni clarified, eyes filled with despair and longing as she stared into the depths of Cheryl's. "I don't have enough money or financial aid to attend even a semester of school, let alone four years. I…"
"Then I'll support you," Cheryl interrupted unexpectedly, terrified of the idea of being separated from Toni. "You don't…. you can't stay here. We had plans!"
"No, Cheryl. No. Come on, look at me."
Soft hands caressed her face and coaxed her into looking into those brown eyes that took hold of her mind and her body every time she met their gaze. Not being able to stop herself from doing so, Cheryl closed the feeble distance between them to capture Toni's lips in a desperate embrace, praying that somehow - no matter how unlikely - everything would be different when they broke apart. Toni's lips moved perfectly with hers, the passion and love between them encaging them both as they fell back into the paradise they had created just for themselves.
"I can't let you support me," Toni whispered when they separated, her breath scorching Cheryl's lips. "You need to keep your scholarship money for yourself, Cheryl, and even if you did have enough extra money to support me I couldn't live with myself knowing I was taking it. Please, I need you to understand this. Okay?"
Cheryl wanted so badly to say that it was, but there was something deep inside of her keeping her from doing so. In fact, it wasn't alright at all. They had made plans to run away together, to find and build a better life, to leave behind Riverdale and forget everything they had suffered in this town. Now, it seemed as though the universe was against them.
"We were supposed to leave together," Cheryl said brokenly, unable to say anything else in that moment.
"I know, I know. And you don't know how terrible I feel about not being able to go through with our promises, but…" Toni trailed off, eyes searching Cheryl's as their foreheads rested together. She exhaled slowly, seemingly building courage. "I will find a way to come visit you as often as I can, even if I have to ride all the way on my bike. And as soon as I have enough money to support myself down there long enough to find a job, I will join you. Just… just promise me that you'll still follow your dreams even though I won't be there."
"I promise."
A smile lifted the corners of Toni's lips. "Promise me you'll remember me when you're living your new life. Promise that we'll stay together no matter what because, Cheryl, I love you so much, and I don't think I could live knowing we don't belong to each other." At this, Toni removed one of the rings from around her finger, offering it to Cheryl, her eyes saying everything she didn't. "Promise me that we're forever."
"I don't… I don't think I can do this, Toni," Cheryl pulled away from Toni suddenly, her mind struggling to push passed the future she had planned shattering in front of her. "I'm sorry."
Blinded and hurting, Cheryl got off the bed and gathered her scattered clothes, putting them on as quickly as she could and trying her best to avoid any contact with Toni. However, that proved difficult when Toni jumped off the bed and followed her out to the living room, grabbing her hand and tugging on her arm.
"Cheryl? Cheryl, please look at me."
But something had a hold of Cheryl, something like fear or panic or pain, and she couldn't see passed it. All she could see was the future Toni had ruined by not keeping her promise in leaving with her, she couldn't even see the truth behind the reason she had given, couldn't see that there was truly nothing Toni could do unless she wanted to surrender her pride and let her girlfriend pay for everything for her. Nothing was in her mind but the fear of being so far away from Toni and not being able to feel her, and for a reason unknown something was telling her that cutting all ties with the girl would make it easier in the long-run. And because of this, she pulled her hand from Toni's grip, making her way to the front door of the trailer, completely forgetting about everything she had in this place and grabbing for the handle.
"Please, Cheryl, don't leave me like this. I love you."
With her fingers gripping the handle of the trailer door and the words that had terrified her into acting this way echoing in her mind, Cheryl looked over her shoulder to find the broken girl whose eyes were begging her not to do this. "I promise," she whispered, almost choking on her own words. "I will always remember you."
With that, she left, the promises Toni wanted her to make that she had excluded leaving no room behind for doubt of what she had just done. Promise me that you'll remember me; she had. Promise me that we'll stay together no matter what happens; she hadn't. Promise me that we're forever; she hadn't. And in failing to do so, she had instead done the exact opposite before she had even given them a chance at passing their first real obstacle.
Leaving Toni like that, breaking her, and destroying the love and trust they'd had was something Cheryl would never be able to forgive herself for. It was even worse knowing that she had somehow believed it the best thing to do for months.
Later that night, she had texted Toni - having remembered that all of her things were at the trailer she had just stormed out of - asking her if she could stop by to pick up her things. Don't worry about it, Cheryl. I'll bring everything to the bus station tomorrow for you. Just meet me there. She had brought her things as she had said she would, but she had also bought her a bus ticket that would get her to the closest airport and helped her pack everything onto the bus securely so that no one could steal it. Not only that, but she had also been respectful of Cheryl's decision; not once during their final moments together had she asked her not to leave, not once had she told her she was making a mistake, not once had she begged her to change her mind. Toni had been everything Cheryl had ever dreamed of and more right up until the end, yet she had still turned her back on her and left her alone. She had still ignored her calls and her texts for months because she thought it best to severe every connection between them, and then, eventually, because she didn't believe herself worthy of Toni's love anymore.
Something brushing over her elbow tore her from the painful memory and agonizing thoughts, causing her to startle and turn so that she could figure out what it was. Her chest constricted around her heart and her mind began swimming when she found Toni settling onto the stool beside her, drink in hand.
"What's up, Bombshell?"
It was something in the way Toni looked at her, something in the genuine crooked smile gracing her features, and something in the way familiar fingers brushed over the skin of her arm that gave Cheryl a feeling that was equally exhilarating and terrifying. The feeling overwhelmed her, taking refuge in her and warming every crevice of her body and mind, giving her hope that maybe, just maybe, she was lucky enough to have not ruined everything.
It was telling her that the last time she had seen Toni wasn't the end to their story.
You asked me for closure before
And girl I told you it's over, it's over
It's not over, so here we go again
Cheryl was left speechless by Toni's appearance, having not expected her to come over and talk to her. To be completely honest, Cheryl hadn't thought Toni would ever want to talk to her again after what she had done. But she was grateful that she would have the chance to talk to the girl again, to inquire after what she had been doing since the last time they had seen each other, and the idea that there might be more for them kept her from panicking and rushing from the diner. She wanted this, wanted Toni, and though she knew she didn't deserve even a second glance from Toni she would do anything to be able to hold the girl in her arms at least one more time.
"Seriously, Cheryl," Toni's voice was softer now, showing more emotion. She was in pain, that much was obvious. "How have you been?"
"You shouldn't care," Cheryl stated, averting her gaze to her milkshake.
Suddenly, stirring her straw around the thick ice-cream was the most interesting thing in the world. She had tried so hard over the past five years to tell herself that it wasn't Toni that made her the happiest she could be, that she could find a way to live without the girl because it was what Toni deserved, what she needed; a life without her. But it had never worked, and she knew that - even if she wanted to continue the hopeless battle - it would be impossible now that Toni sat so close to her that all it would take to touch her was a small shift of her leg. Toni was the only one who knew everything about her: her dark past, her dreams, her imperfections, her strengths, what she detests, what she loves, everything. Toni was the only one who could ever love her the way she craved, and she was the only one she would ever let love her.
"I do care, Cheryl, and nothing you do or say will stop me from caring about you, so tell me: how have you been?"
She could feel tears stinging her eyes at the admission, and she leaned down to take another drink from her milkshake. "Terrible. You?"
"I've been surviving," Toni answered with a nonchalant shrug, one that once would have frustrated Cheryl beyond belief. "I've missed you."
When a familiar hand slid over top of her own and smooth, slender fingers gripped hers, Cheryl's eyes widened as she lifted her gaze to meet Toni's, her heart feeling as though it had found its way into her throat to constrict her breathing. Studying Toni's eyes, she found only love and longing, and she had no doubt that her own eyes gave away the feelings coursing through her just as easily, more than likely mirroring Toni's. A smile danced on Toni's lips, causing Cheryl's heart to flutter in adoration. She quickly found herself wanting nothing more than to taste Toni's lips again, she would bet anything she owned that they tasted exactly as she remembered. She wanted nothing more than for this moment to never find an end, to feel what it was like to be loved by Toni again, to bask in the symphony the girl always had playing in her head. She knew better than anyone that she didn't deserve any of it, but that didn't stop her from craving everything Toni could do to her, both emotionally and physically.
"I've missed you, too," Cheryl admitted, finally giving in to the feelings Toni awoke inside her.
One corner of Toni's mouth dropped so that she was now smirking. "Then, what do you say to getting out of this shit-show and finding a quieter place to catch up?"
"I would like that," Cheryl couldn't help the smile that seemed to take over her entire body, Toni's invitation turning her back into the giddy school-girl she had been around her years ago. "Did you have anywhere in mind?"
"I might," Toni's gaze dropped to Cheryl's lips briefly before flickering to their joined hands. "So long as you're okay with coming home with me. I don't want to pressure you, or anything, I know you…"
"I would love to go home with you," Cheryl interrupted her, knowing exactly where Toni's worried rambling was going and wanting to avoid the feelings that would surface if the memory was allowed to replay again. The sudden knowledge that she didn't deserve Toni's kindness hit her harder than she would have liked, reminding her of the pain she had caused the girl. "But, Toni, I don't..."
Toni shushed her, bringing her hand up to caress Cheryl's cheek. "Not here, okay?"
Cheryl said nothing, merely nodded, completely captivated by the look in Toni's eyes, mesmerized by the emotion swirling around the brown she had missed so much. Even after five years, Toni seemed aware of everything she was feeling without her having to voice it, seemed to know exactly what she was going to say before she could even find the proper words to express her thoughts. It was comforting knowing that Toni still cared enough to watch for the small tells she had that gave everything away.
When Toni stood, placing money on the counter for both of their drinks, all Cheryl could do was follow as she led her out of the diner. And this time, when Toni handed her a helmet all she did was put it on before getting on the motorcycle behind Toni and wrapping her arms tightly around her lithe waist, ready to go anywhere as long as she was with Toni.
It was truly beautiful, the way Toni had her backyard set up, with the line of lanterns hanging between the trees and the late-night glow of the in-ground pool, the porch furnished with matching chairs and tables. Cheryl thought it must have cost a lot to live in the house, let alone decorate it the way it was, but she was too struck by the beauty to question how she was pulling it off.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Toni's voice was a delicate whisper just over her shoulder, a hint of awe lacing through her words.
"How much did this cost?" Cheryl finally asked, gaze still traveling over the backyard in search of anything she might have missed.
"Well, the pool was already installed when we signed the contract, but altogether it cost quite a bit to decorate," Toni announced from her place somewhere behind Cheryl. "But we split everything we agreed on between us…"
One specific word yanked Cheryl from her trance. "Wait…" she interrupted, turning around to face Toni, finding the girl leaning against the house next to the sliding glass door. "We?"
Cheryl had no idea what she was expecting, but she knew she was visualizing the worst possible scenario her mind could manage to create; Toni living with a new lover. It tormented her in the short amount of time she had to dwell on the thought, stirring a painful panic inside her chest until it was bubbling with its growth. The idea that she had allowed herself to expect too much from Toni's invitation was a hard one to swallow, but she figured she deserved the sharp knife that imbed itself in her chest as she realized there was probably nothing more to this visit than exchanging stories and niceties. It made her want to push passed the girl into the house and out the front door, but her stubborn nature kept her rooted to the porch steps.
"Forgive me if I'm wrong but…" there was a smirk dancing across Toni's lips, one that conflicted Cheryl, making her unsure if she wanted to kiss Toni or smash her through the glass door beside her. "… is Cheryl Blossom jealous?"
Cheryl straightened her posture, setting her jaw. "Who is we?"
Toni snorted in amusement, uncrossing her arms and pushing off the house. Cheryl's heartbeat increased in pace when Toni started toward her, smirk still in place and brown eyes hooded with desire, a look that - years ago - so often had Cheryl's legs weakening until she couldn't stand any longer. It still had the same effect on her, she could feel every inch of her body weakening and giving in. And when Toni stopped with only a few inches between them, slowly raising her hand to caress her cheek, Cheryl knew she was lost to the world, compelled to do anything Toni wanted her to do, no matter what that might be.
"We, is Sweet Pea, Fangs and I," Toni answered, her voice lower than her usual casual tone. She brushed Cheryl's hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "We decided to become roomies because it lowers the cost of living, and neither one of us has the best job."
"What do you do?" Cheryl asked, suddenly finding that she needed to know.
"I'm a bartender, which isn't a bad job at all. Turns out I'm really good at it and I get loads of tips."
"From creepy, perverted old men," Cheryl almost hissed the words, disgusted by the idea of vultures leering at Toni.
"Don't worry, they're not allowed to touch the goods," Toni comforted Cheryl's sudden anger with her soothing voice and a brush of her fingers over a strong jawline. "And if they try, they regret ever coming to the bar in the first place."
"I don't want to think about anyone touching you."
Cheryl's voice was a breathy whisper, and she could see the way it affected Toni in the way her eyelids fluttered as her gaze flickered to her lips. She watched intently as Toni pulled her bottom lip into her mouth with her teeth, her thoughts perfectly clear as her fingers thread into flame-red hair and her gaze failed to lift from her painted lips.
"What do you want to think about?" Toni questioned curiously, though something about the way she spoke gave away that she had a good idea.
"Toni…" Cheryl breathed out, reaching up to slide her fingers over Toni's wrist. "I can't… we shouldn't… you shouldn't…"
But she didn't know how to finish putting her thoughts into words, not when they were jumping so quickly between screaming at her for allowing Toni to get this close and encouraging her to take the final step across the barrier between them. She knew she should end this before it truly began, knew she should let Toni find someone who deserved her, but the second their gazes met again she knew she wouldn't, not when Toni was looking at her as though she were the only thing that mattered in the universe, as though she were the only star in the sky, capable of lighting the entire world.
"Why shouldn't we?" Toni shifted closer, each movement a measured step, giving Cheryl the opportunity to pull away at any time, if that was what she truly wanted. "Give me one good reason why we shouldn't do this, and I'll stop."
"I… I don't deserve you," Cheryl whispered brokenly, eyes locked with Toni's. Toni's breath was hot against her lips, breaking down everything inside of her. "I broke your heart, Toni, you shouldn't still want me."
"I will always want you, Cheryl Blossom, and I don't care that you freaked out and fled," Toni said with a sincerity Cheryl had never experienced before, her hand slipping down and back to grip the nape of Cheryl's neck. "And that's not a good enough reason."
With that, Toni used her grip on Cheryl's neck to tug her downward and pushed onto her toes, bringing their lips together in a kiss so passionate that Cheryl immediately found her entire world revolving around Toni. There was nothing but Toni and the way her lips begged for everything Cheryl could give to her; nothing but Toni and the way the fingers of one hand curled into the short hairs on the back of Cheryl's neck while her other hand gripped the curve of her waist, pulling her closer; nothing but Toni and the way her body pressed into Cheryl's, eliciting overwhelming sensations that Cheryl hadn't felt in a long time.
I know I tried to not face the truth
But no one can love me like you do
Your love is static, it pulls me in
Like a song when it first begins
I just don't wanna let you end
You just take me over, and you are my controller
I told you, I told you, I told you
I'm ready to go again
A familiar scent washed over her as she slowly woke, her mind grasping for answers from the world around her as sleep steadily lost its grip on her. Loving waking up to the smell, Cheryl nuzzled into the pillow her head rested on, a smile stretching across her face as she allowed it to overwhelm her entirely. However, when reality finally found its way back to her, she opened her eyes and lifted her head, looking around the room to find that she didn't recognize it at all despite knowing exactly where she was, throwing her into a slight panic.
Then the memories of last night flooded her mind, easing her sudden panic and instead encasing her in a warmth she hadn't felt for five long years. Rolling onto her back with the brightest smile she had adorned since leaving Riverdale taking over, Cheryl turned her head toward the other side of the bed to find Toni sleeping beside her peacefully. Toni's features were smooth and undisturbed, showing her content in whatever dream world she had lost herself in, and Cheryl's heart fluttered adoringly at the sight of her snuggled so comfortably into the pillow and mattress. The smile gracing her features never lessening, Cheryl turned onto her side so that she was facing the other girl, reaching out for the hand splayed across the bed almost as if Toni had been hoping she would eventually grab hold of it.
It had been so simple for both of them to fall right back into a life together, into a life where there was no question about whether or not the love between them was real - that comforted her, it was exhilarating. But seeing Toni now, sleeping in the same bed as her again, it was like she was truly realizing that she was the only one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, the only one she could spend the rest of her life with, even though part of her had always known. She could never be even remotely satisfied with anyone else, it had to be Toni, and the feeling coursing through her with that knowledge allowed her more clarity than she ever thought she'd have in life.
Cheryl finally had everything figured out.
Ghosting her fingers over Toni's, she hesitated in grabbing hold of her hand, afraid of waking the girl before she was ready, but she eventually decided she needed some form of contact and slid her hand to fit over Toni's smaller one. There was a deep inhalation from Toni seconds before slender fingers were lacing through hers and finding a solid enough grip to pull Cheryl forward, bringing her closer to Toni when she followed the guiding tug. Letting go of Cheryl's hand, Toni slid her arm around her waist as she opened her eyes, sleep keeping them hooded as she found her way back from her dreams.
"Morning," Toni's voice was raspy, coated with sleep; it drove Cheryl crazy. "How's my princess?"
Cheryl lifted her hand to brush loose strands of pink hair from Toni's face. "Better than ever."
"Glad to hear that answer's changed since I asked it last night," Toni spoke softly, the corners of her lips curving upward into a smile so genuinely pure and beautiful that it left Cheryl without air. "I can't live with the idea that you're suffering in any way."
"Suffering is impossible when I'm with you," Cheryl blurted out, not quite sure where it had come from.
"Smooth, Blossom."
"It's true. Honestly."
"I believe you," Toni replied, fingers playing with the blanket that kept them from feeling each other completely. "I feel the same way with you."
"I love you, TT," Cheryl whispered, her voice laced with an amount of emotion she had never experienced before. Threading her fingers through Toni's hair, she opened herself for Toni to see, not even the slightest bit worried that she would take what she saw and use it to break her. "I love you more than anyone could imagine."
"I don't know, I have a pretty vivacious imagination," Toni teased playfully, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth using her teeth.
"Then imagine how much I love you, and I'll smash that image into the ground to prove you wrong," Cheryl stated with a radiant smile.
"Oh, really?" Toni's eyebrow quirked.
"Mmhm."
Propping herself up, Cheryl eased Toni onto her back and shifted so she had one elbow resting on the bed on either side of Toni's body, trapping the girl between her arms as she brought her body to hover over her. Hands found a place holding Cheryl's face as lips met in a loving kiss, the tenderness of it leaving Cheryl with a craving for more. Unfortunately, Toni pulled her lips from Cheryl's embrace shortly after, however, once Cheryl found out why she didn't mind at all.
"I love you too."
The sincerity in Toni's voice wrapped itself around Cheryl comfortingly, taking refuge in her body as a warmth she had only ever felt with Toni, a warmth she knew would soon become a familiar part of her. Yes, she definitely had everything figured out, and she just happened to have the best life anyone could be offered laid out in front of her.
This time, she wouldn't run from it.
The moment I see you
I know it's going to be you
I've got this figured out
"Move in with me."
Cheryl's eyes widened. "With you, Sweet Pea and Fangs? I don't think so."
"We can find our own place," Toni laughed whole-heartedly, her gaze locked on their hands as she played with Cheryl's fingers. "If it bothers you that much."
"Will that not ruin the whole payment set up?" Cheryl asked honestly, not wanting Toni to cause financial issues for the other two.
"Kevin's looking for a new place to stay, and he and Fangs have been getting along pretty well, so I think my moving out would open more opportunities than if I stayed," Toni batted Cheryl's concerns away smoothly. "Plus, we've been living together for four years and we're all twenty-six now, I think we're all getting tired of having to worry about each other while we have our lovers over. It'd be easier to just live with you."
"I see."
Their conversation caved for a long moment, Toni's gaze lifting to watch Cheryl's features as Cheryl's lowered to watch the other girl manipulate her fingers mindlessly. Slowly, a smile spread across Cheryl's face and she lifted her head, leaning forward to close the distance between them where they sat together on the blanket Toni had laid out to protect them from the grass beneath. Typically, Cheryl wasn't one for picnics in the park, having a taste for more extravagant things, but she was with Toni, and that was all that mattered to her.
"Did you not want to live with me?" Toni questioned quietly when they separated, resting her forehead against Cheryl's and opening her eyes to catch her gaze. "Because if you don't, that's okay. If it's too soon…"
But Cheryl silenced her with another kiss, her heart fluttering relentlessly in her chest. She could feel the smile that curved Toni's lips as they kissed, and she couldn't help but smile into the kiss herself. When she was certain Toni would remain silent until she had said her piece, Cheryl pulled away, bringing both her hands up to cup Toni's face lovingly.
"Of course, I want to live with you, silly," Cheryl reassured her, brushing her thumbs over the ends of her cheekbones. "You worry too much."
"Do I?" Toni questioned, eyebrows lifting slightly as she smiled softly at Cheryl.
"You do," Cheryl confirmed, leaving a brief kiss on Toni's lips. "How would it be too soon? We've been together for three years now."
When Toni spoke, it was in a barely audible whisper. "I don't know."
Removing her hands from Toni's face, Cheryl averted her gaze to her hands as she reached into the purse beside her to locate what she needed. She could hear the breath catch in Toni's throat as she watched her remove a smooth, black box, and she knew she at least had a well-educated guess about what would happen next. Bringing her gaze back up to find Toni's widened eyes, she held the box between them as she opened the lid.
"I should have done this a long time ago, but…" Cheryl began with the release of a breath she had been holding for far too long. "I promise to not only remember you, but to never let anything tear us apart ever again. I promise that, as long as you'll still have me, we're forever, no matter what happens."
"Cheryl…"
"Toni Topaz," Cheryl spoke with a determination that had whatever Toni was about to say fading away before it even reached her lips. Pulling the expensively decorated ring from its box, she grabbed hold of Toni's hand, staring into her eyes with an unwavering confidence as she asked the question hanging in the air between them. "Will you marry me?"
It's like I'm falling in love all over again
For the first time, and I know that it feels right
I think I'm falling in love all over again
Love at first sight, do you know how I feel?