Ioryuuweek day 5: Love is a song
Can't Fight This Feeling
Io has known it for ages. Almost three years. It took him a few months since meeting the fiery pinkette and befriending him, but now he's 17 and it's been clear for years. He's in love with his best friend, Ryuu Zaou.
However, he can't act on it. Ryuu is a raging heterosexual not interested in men and Io is pretty sure dates take up about 80% of his brain activity. Io's feelings are destined to be unrequited forever. Besides, finance and economics are his true love, money is the one thing that makes him feel at ease and in his element. He has no extra time to spend with romance. Especially not with Ryuu.
Ryuu only came to terms with this new idea a few weeks ago. He was still in denial during their club's trip to the ocean (and Atsushi's unnecessary comment didn't alleviate it one bit) but he's aware of it now. He's in love with his best friend, Io Naruko.
However, he can't act on it. Io is a busy businessman not interested in romance and Ryuu is pretty sure his stocks take up about 80% of his brain activity. Ryuu's feelings are destined to be unrequited forever. Besides, dating is Ryuu's true love, girls are the one thing that makes him feel at ease and in his element. He has no extra time to spend with romance. Especially not with Io.
Meanwhile, Atsushi is fed up with their stubbornness. The direct approach on the training camp didn't work; now it's time to try and be more subtle.
On surface, the club meeting went as normal. En mostly slept, Yumoto assaulted Wombat, Atsushi studied, Ryuu left early because he had a date and Io managed businesses. Unbeknownst to the others, though, Io's mind had been somewhere completely elsewhere. Ryuu's date was from another borough and needed last-minute instructions, which Ryuu gave her over the phone. Io had a hard time not staring at him. He had always thought Ryuu looked absolutely adorable when he talked with a girl he liked. Ryuu would always flirt a lot, shower the girl with subtle compliments and make her feel special. Since his face couldn't be seen he made all his emotions and intentions clear with is voice, but Ryuu was Ryuu and couldn't help making faces. The cheeky grin and sparkles in his eyes never left his face, and sometimes, when he was particularly absorbed in the conversation, Ryuu even winked at the phone. And that was jus irresistible.
"I can't fight this feeling any longer," Io murmured silently and sighed, lowering his head in defeat. this caught the senpais' attention.
"I'm sorry Io, did you say something?" asked Atsushi. He tried his best to hide his excitement; maybe at least one half of his OTP was finally on the verge of admitting the obvious. "You look concerned, maybe we can help."
Io fidgeted at the voice of the bespectacled upperclassman. He didn't think anyone would hear him; Kinugawa-senpai seemed completely absorbed in his studies, Yumoto was occupied by Wombat, and Io had thought Yufuin-senpai was fast asleep. Upon raising his head he saw Atsushi's poorly hidden enthusiasm and knew immediately what it meant. He had seen a similar expression on his senpai right before he dropped the bomb during the toothbrush investigation. Io knew that Atsushi knew.
"I guess there's no use trying to deny it now. Your face gives everything away, Kinugawa-senpai," he spoke and told the others about his crush.
Yumoto was the first one to share his thoughts. "Is Io-senpai in love with Ryuu-senpai? That's so cool!"
"Yes, the more love amongst the Battle Lovers, the more better warriors of justice they will make!" declared Wombat. His eyes were shimmering with tears of happiness.
"'More better warriors' is not proper English..." protested Atsushi, but turned his attention back to Io. "Why haven't you said anything sooner? Bottled up feelings will only hurt you in the long run." He ignored the glance En gave him.
"And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow." Io lowered his back to his laptop. "You know Ryuu. He only thinks about girls and dates. It's apparent that he is the straightest guy on the planet and I've heard him call homosexuality gross before. " Io could hear the hurt in his own voice and feel a slightly burning sensation in his eyes; he was sure that if he said another word, he'd start crying. So he continued fidgeting with his finances and hoped the others would just let it go.
Of course that wish could not be granted.
"So, did I get this right? What started out as friendship has grown stronger?" This time it was Yufuin-senpai's turn to query.
Io didn't lift his eyes. "Yes, what about it?"
"Well, if that happened to you, it might be the case with Ryuu, too. Maybe he's also been holding back because he's afraid he might hurt you."
Silence fell into the room as everyone got reminded about how wise En could be under his listless exterior. Atsushi felt a sudden rise in the pride he had for his friend.
"En-chan is right; you should say something to Ryuu! I bet he'd understand, you're so close. And we can see how this is eating you alive," he hurried with his words. Yumoto nodded furiously. Wombat didn't say anything because Yumoto as holding him too tight.
Yumoto had a worried expression and sounded unusually stern. "Yeah, keeping all that love in must be super hard! I bet you have lots of love to give!" He couldn't imagine not being able to show somebody he cared about how important they actually were.
Io gave all his friends a thankful look. "You are right. I only wish I had the strength to let it show."
The girl was really nice. Really, she was. Even exceptionally so. She was kind, considerate and a little bit shy. Girls like that used to make Ryuu's heart flatter like crazy. But they hadn't managed to do that for quite some time. Ryuu had thought that maybe, if he could find a perfect girl, she could set things right. But she didn't. And as Ryuu escorted her to her bus he was finally ready to admit to himself that his dates for the past months had been nothing but a cover-up. He thanked her for the date, said he had fun and that she was a particularly interesting person, but couldn't see her anymore. She looked sad but understanding.
On the way home Ryuu told himself he couldn't hold out forever. He had to get it off his chest.
Later that night, when Ryuu was sitting in kitchen waiting for her grandma to get the tea ready, he decided the time had come. "Obaa-chan, I think I'm in love," he blurted out and popped a cherry in his mouth waiting for his grannie's response.
The old woman chuckled. She had heard this phrase before. "That's wonderful, dear. Who is she?"
Ryuu gulped. "I-it's..." he swallowed the cherry. "...Io." Ryuu didn't have a mirror but he could've sworn his face must resemble either a tomato or a just-washed hotel bed sheet, despite knowing how accepting and kind his grandma was. "There is no reason for my fear," he said to himself. "Obaa-chan must be cool with it."
His grandma stopped for a second, then turned around. Ryuu was surprised to see just ihow/i delighted she looked.
"Oh, I'm so happy you were finally ready to tell me! I noticed the way you look at him has changed recently. It was honestly just a matter of time." She seemingly gleamed with happiness and sat down opposite Ryuu. "Tell me more; I know you love talking about people you care about and sharing ever detail."
For a moment Ryuu could just stare at his carer. "She took it even better than I thought," he marveled, fixed his headband and gave a light chuckle. "There isn't a lot you don't already know about Io. I'm pretty sure you've heard every single thing a thousand times already."
"I bet you still want to ramble about something. How about what makes you love him so much?"
Ryuu seized the opportunity. After all, he could never get tired of fangirling over Io. He started – obviously – from his looks; how gorgeous Io's eyes were, how his smile always brightened Ryuu's day, how charismatic he looked when he was completely focused on his work and how his posture just reeked of maturity Ryuu himself felt he lacked. He went on to how independent Io was, how he always knew how to be in control over his life. How his laughter was melodic and his voice could be soothing, comforting, persuasive and playful. How he kept a detached and cool air around him but was always there, listening to Ryuu's problems, sharing his joy and keeping him out of harm's way. How he appeared calculating and collective around most people but when he was with company that made him feel at ease, Io could make snarky comments and be an absolute dork.
"I love him 'cause I feel so secure when we're together. I can always count on Io. I rush to things head on and don't always stop to think of the consequences, but Io has it all figured out. He knows what he'll do after high school and when when he's not sure how to go about something, he can reason his way out of it. And he gives good advice to me, too. Io gives my life direction and makes everything so clear."
Ryuu had closed his eyes at some point. He hummed silently in content and obaa-chan waited for a moment to see if he was finished.
"My my, Ryuu, you sure think of Io-chan a lot," she teased. The blissful smile hadn't left her face for a second.
Ryuu let out a small, bubbly laugh. "Yeah, and even as I wander, I'm keeping him in sight." He unpocketed his phone and clicked it on. His screensaver was a picture of Io laughing heartily. Ryuu remembered the occasion. He had made Io laugh and tried to snap the pic secretly but had forgotten the flash was on. Io's surprised look after the flashing light on his face was almost as attractive as his laugh.
Ryuu was snapped out of his thoughts when his grandma asked a severe question: "Does he know?"
Ryuu tensed. "Um, no. Io isn't interested in romance." He slumped on the table. "And I can't fight this feeling anymore, but maybe I can keep it in for a while longer now that I've told isomebody./i"
Grandmother huffed. "Honey, you'll have to let him know sooner or later. Keeping something that big to yourself will only hurt you."
"I guess you're right," Ryuu muttered. "If only I knew how."
Io was able to hold himself together better the next day. He would steal glances at Ryuu when he wasn't looking, scolded him for forgetting his homework, tried his hardest not to sneak a look of what and who he was texting and pulled Ryuu back from his collar when he looked like he could strangle Gero at any given second. In other words, everything went normally.
The only problem arose after school in the club meeting. As reassuring as telling the others about his crush had been, he was now faced with a new problem: Keeping them silent. Io knew how to control himself but had no idea how to make other people stay in their pants. He could see Atsushi and Yumoto paid special attention to the tiniest pieces of interaction between him and Ryuu and even En was more awake than usual.
Luckily for him, Ryuu didn't seem to notice anything. The brown-eyed boy was on a particularly good mood and didn't pay close attention to his surroundings. Instead, he kept jokes coming, le out a laugh after every other sentence and basically didn't stay quiet for longer than three seconds in a row.
Io found this slightly odd, even though it wasn't unusual or Ryuu to be a bit rowdy when he was in high spirits. It was a cloudy day and it rained from time to time, the sky was dark and most students were a bit out of humor. Ryuu seemed to emit a special light.
"Ryuu-senpai is happy today! I'm glad!" exclaimed Yumoto and stuffed another rice ball into his mouth.
"Yes, like a ray of sunshine," added Atsushi. Io didn't need to look into his direction. He knew the blunette shot him a suggesting look.
Instead, he kept his eyes on Ryuu, a wide smile on his face. Uncommon as it was for him to do, he spoke without thinking: "You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark, winter's night."
This made everyone stop on their tracks and stare at Io wide-eyed. Io himself only realized now what he had said. He felt the humiliation rise and buried his face in his hands. How could he have put his foot in is mouth like that? His remark was so sappy!
"I'm sorry, that was-"
"- poetic. Huh, I didn't know you had it in you, Io." En finished Io's sentence before he could.
Said candle in the window broke the following silence by flipping a math book out of his bag and complaining that he didn't understand a single problem. Io sighed deeply (partly in frustration that his friend wouldn't even try for himself, partly thankful that he found an excuse to escape from the awkward situation) and move his chair next to Ryuu's. "I can help. Tell me what exactly you have problems with."
Ryuu's eyes widened. "Really? You will help me? You never agree when I ask!"
"That's because if I gave you too much assistance you wouldn't do anything yourself. But I suppose I must do something or you'll never make it out of this school." Io tried to stay business-like, but couldn't help a smile forming on his lips. Ryuu clapped his hands together and bowed as he thanked Io and Io found it utterly adorable.
He leaned closer to Ryuu and started explaining how to solve the problems. Ryuu's pink hair tickled Io's face, making it difficult to focus. But Io had had lots of experience in coping under pressure and kept his cool.
Ryuu thought Io was an amazing teacher and invited him over to continue after the Defense Club thought it was time to call it a day. In Ryuu's room, he told Io to sit down on his bed, sat next to him and dug up the history book.
The night went like that. Ryuu held his book on his lap, Io clarified what he didn't understand, occasionally leaning over Ryuu to point out something in the book. They also took some breaks, which consisted mostly of pointless chatter, sassy remarks and laughter. Eventually Ryuu's head started to bob from tiredness and Io thought it time to call it quits. He took the book from Ryuu touched his chin with his finger. This made Ryuu instantly lift his head and turn it to Io, who smiled fondly and told him it's time to go to sleep.
"It's late already. Is it alright if I stay the night?" asked Io and took his eyes off the window.
"'Course it is! Wait, I'll ask obaa-chan for extra futon!" Ryuu ran off, but came back shortly. "Um, obaa-chan says she borrowed it to our neighbors who have guests over." The boy looked embarrassed but Io had an idea. Whether it was brilliant or awful, he would find out only by asking.
"Would you be comfortable sharing yours? I wouldn't mind."
This took Ryuu off guard. Io was one to value personal space. But well, they were close, and who in their right minds would refuse to share a futon with their super beautiful crush? "I wouldn't mind at all! Do you wanna borrow pajamas too?"
So they ended up sleeping next to each other, cramped up in a smaller space than ever before. Io was flustered but content. "I actually built up courage to initiate this. And Ryuu seems to feel just as comfortable as I do," he thought as he watched the face of his best friend who was already deep in slumber. "I never thought I'd care for someone this deeply... And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might."
Ryuu woke up in the middle of the night after having a nightmare. He jumped into a sitting position, gasping for air. This also woke Io up. The green-haired boy was immediately hovering over Ryuu, asking what happened and making sure he was alright. Even in the darkness of the night, Ryuu could see the genuine worry in Io's eyes and love and thankfulness filled his insides.
He stayed awake for a few minutes after convincing Io he was fine and they could go back to sleep. "Io is such a wonderful person... He really cares about me," he mused and closed his eyes. Ryuu really loved Io, and even though he kept it a secret, life felt so much lighter now that he had at least admitted it to himself. Ryuu silently cursed himself for fighting off his feelings for so long. "I've forgotten what I started fighting for in the first place." Then sleep took over him.
Next morning Ryuu woke up hugging Io's arm. The older teen was sleeping on his back, face turned slightly in Ryuu's direction, breathing softly, and Ryuu's arms were wrapped around Io's left one.
Ryuu was about to pull away, but didn't. It felt oddly natural, lying next to his best friend, forehead resting against his broad shoulders. He shut his eyes, breathed in Io's scent and enjoyed the moment.
He ended up falling asleep again.
"-up! Wake up, Ryuu!"
Ryuu felt something on his shoulders and tried to push it off, until he realized it was a hand. A very familiar hand, but not his grandmother's. Ryuu opened his eyes and was greeted with the sight of Io squatting next to him, already in his school uniform.
"You need to get up, Ryuu. I don't want to be late from school." God, Ryuu couldn't remember when Io had sounded so annoying. He really didn't feel like getting up. He turned first on his back, then on his other side, then stomach. Io just watched him with a poker face. However, that poker face turned into an expression of irritation soon, when Ryuu started dragging himself on the floor towards the door that lead to his room. Io sighed deeply.
"Please try to get off the floor soon. I'll be waiting for you outside."
Somehow that comment gave Ryuu strength to get up and dressed. They didn't always go to school together and when they did, they met up on the way. Being able to walk ithe whole way/i to school with Io was fantastic! Especially because Ryuu's home was further way. This was luxury. "Still, if I had to crawl upon the floor to get to Io, I would do it," he thought. Ryuu chuckled at the still sleepy state of his brain and hurried to see his beloved. And run straight into the door.
Ryuu heard Io was having fun outside. "The Roaring Prince" was apparently named after the laugh he let out at his best friend's misfortune. "Come crashing through your door to just see me will you? We're not in ithat/i much of a hurry, you know," he teased. Ryuu pouted and opened the door. He couldn't hold the irked expression or long, though. Io's smile just seemed to wash all annoyance away like the Love Shower.
Meanwhile, Atsushi and En were in the middle of an unusually rational conversation.
"Now I'm sure we were right about them," spoke Atsushi in a low voice to pretend outsiders from hearing. "Io already confessed to us, and I'm getting more and more certain about Ryuu, too. You saw his reaction when Io leaned closer to show how to solve that math problem, didn't you?"
"I did. And he paid considerably more attention to Io than the book," the blonde confirmed.
Atsushi hit his hand with his fist. "It's time to bring this ship into the shore," he stated.
"And throw away the oars forever so they can't row their way out. Do you have any ideas?" added En and raised his eyebrows. The face his friend was making could only be described as mischievous.
"I think I know how to go about it without being too obvious."
So En and Atsushi waited for Ryuu and Io to enter the clubroom. They had devised a plan to keep an eye on them and their interactions without getting caught. They'd take turns in stealing glances and communicate through looks and, if necessary, emails.
These precautions proved to be unnecessary. The second years seemed to be even tighter than usual. They just wouldn't stop chatting, teasing and laughing. Even Yumoto caught up on the situation and channeled his happiness for the two in cuddling Wombat extra hard.
Io and Ryuu left the clubroom together and Atsushi had to wait until lunch break before putting his plan into motion. Lucky for him, Io had to pop out for a moment. Ryuu stared after his best friend for longer than usual.
"Ryuu," Atsushi called after said boy finally took his eyes off the door. Ryuu turned to Atsushi with a perplexed expression and asked what he had to say.
"I heard this song on the radio the other day," started Atsushi, trying his hardest to sound nonchalant, "And I wonder if you know it. I think you'd like it." He got up from his seat and offered Ryuu his headphones. "Please listen to it."
Ryuu looked puzzled but placed the headphones on anyway, and Atsushi pressed play. Ryuu's eyes widened and he looked like he was enjoying the start. "Is this is a ballad? Sounds good so far."
"Just listen," encouraged Atsushi.
He looked at Ryuu closely as the song went on. The pinkette's face showed that he was touched. Atsushi took his headphones back after music ended and considered his job done.
Days went by without any special incidents. Io noticed Ryuu hadn't had a single date in about a week but didn't really think of it. Everyone needed some time off from their hobbies occasionally. They now spent more time together instead. Io was a little irritated that he had less time for his stocks. But just a little. Ryuu's company was worth more to him than any company on the stock market.
At the moment, Io was only worried about the fact that his eyes were tied and Ryuu held his hand and lead the way. They had been walking for what felt like hours and he couldn't even hear the sound of traffic anymore. Io couldn't erase the feeling that other people on the way must be staring. This lack of control was definitely not his cup of tea.
"This is the third time this week we're doing this, Ryuu. And it always seems that I'm following you," he mumbled to himself and tightened his grip on Ryuu's hand.
Ryuu chuckled. "Well, why don't we switch then? Next time you can show where to go."
"'Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find," answered Io and smiled. "I didn't know of any of these places before."
"It's because you never leave your house for anything else than business meetings and school. You should get out more."
Io rolled his eyes under the cloth covering them. Then Ryuu stopped. "We're here!" he announced and removed the cloth.
What Io saw was a beautiful temple with a Chinese design. It was surrounded by trees and a small stream flowed nearby. He could only hear birds chirping somewhere in the distance and the gentle gurgle of the stream.
Io was completely absorbed in the atmosphere and was startled when Ryuu spoke in a quiet tone: "Beautiful, isn't it? Obaa-chan used to take me here as a kid, before we moved to where we live now."
Io said nothing, only turned to look at the other boy. Ryuu smiled and gave a squeeze to the hand Io had forgotten he was still holding.
They visited the temple and said their prayers. Ryuu guided Io to a nearby park and the boys sat down on a bench. Io let out a deep breath and leaned back.
"I'm really enjoying this afternoon. It's so peaceful. Could the atmosphere get any better than this?" Io caught Ryuu's eye. Ryuu gave him his signature smirk and ruffled his pockets to get his phone.
"Yes it can. Kinugawa-senpai introduced me to this song the other day, you gotta hear it, too!" he explained. Io managed to catch a glimpse on the screen and saw the performer.
"Reo Speedwagon? Didn't that band perform in the 1970s and 80s?"
"I don't know, I'd never heard of it before. Doesn't matter, just listen!" Ryuu tapped the screen and whispered: "This is for you."
A soothing, relaxing melody followed by a calm male's singing filled Io's ears.
iI can't fight this feeling any longer
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow/i
Io's eyes shot open. He had used those exact words to describe his relationship to Ryuu roughly a week ago!
iWhat started out as friendship has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show/i
He turned to Ryuu, who stared blankly somewhere in the horizon. Ryuu sang along quietly, and Io found himself unable to look away. He just stared, focusing on the lyrics while at the same time taking in every expression, motion and gesture Ryuu made. It was apparent that the younger boy was intensely absorbed into the piece they were listening.
iCause I feel so secure when we're together
You give my life direction
You make everything so clear/i
Io noticed Ryuu was blinking rapidly.
Then came the chorus. Ryuu turned to face Io and looked him straight in the eye, tears giving shine to his own ones, and didn't stop singing.
iAnd I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for/i
The rest of the song went on like that, both boys getting lost in each others eyes, Ryuu singing along, his cheeks wet from crying. Io felt a few tears on his own face, too.
"My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you," quoted Io as Ryuu wiped his face dry. "That fits. You really brought action into my world with your easy-going mindset and extroverted attitude."
Ryuu sniffed. "And I've been running round in circles in my mind." He looked into Io's eyes. "Really, it took me ia lot/i of time to even even recognize my feelings, let alone accept them. But you should be able to imagine; you know me." He chuckled and run his hand through his hair. "So umm... What did you think?"
"Of the song?"
Ryuu nodded.
Io took Ryuu's hand again. "If love was a song, it would be that one."
Ryuu pocketed his phone and placed his other hand on Io's, too. "So, was this our first date then?" He asked, regaining the playfulness in his voice.
Io had absolutely no objections.