This is the very first fanfic I have ever written, so if it completely sucks don't be surprised. This takes place between when Gideon left and Rossi joined the team.

I don't own Criminal Minds although it would be nice if I did.

Her Secret

A CM fanfic

Chapter 1

It was a warm and sunny Monday morning at Quantico and Derek Morgan's mood seemed to match the atmosphere of the day, until he noticed that J.J., the profiling team's liaison wasn't at work yet. He and J.J. had been secretly dating for almost three months and he knew that she would never be almost two hours late without telling him. He tried to convince himself that maybe she just overslept or forgot to set her alarm the night before, but the feeling that something was wrong kept coming back to him. Images of his girlfriend being kidnapped or tortured kept replaying through his mind as he quickly rose from his chair and nearly sprinted the short distance to his boss's office praying that they wouldn't have another incident like Reid's or Elle's which had taken place only a few short years before.

When Morgan reached the closed door of Hotch's office he knocked and as soon as he heard "Come in." he quickly opened the door, stepped inside and closed it behind him.

"Hotch, J.J.'s not here yet." he stated, getting straight to the point.

"Have you talked to Garcia? J.J. might have talked to her, told her she was going to be late or was sick and wasn't going to be here today". Hotch replied, only slightly worried at the absence of their liaison, confident that Garcia, The Oracle of All Things Knowable and Unknowable, would be able to help Morgan find J.J.

"No, but she's almost two hours late! If she was going to be this late or was sick I'm sure she would have told me. And shouldn't she tell you, not Garcia if she's not going to be here?"

It was then that Hotch first noticed the look in his friend's eyes. He could tell that Morgan was worried, but there was something more. Something that made Hotch wonder if there really was something going on between two of his teammates. Hotch was sure that what he was seeing was nothing short of genuine fear. The type of fear that Hotch himself might feel if something were to happen to Jack or Hayley. The kind of fear that you feel when you know that someone you love could be in great danger.

"Hotch." Morgan said, bringing his superior back from his thoughts.

"What? Sorry, what did you say?"

"I said maybe I should go by her house and make sure she's alright." Morgan said, getting slightly aggravated at his boss for not paying attention and staring off into space when J.J.'s life could be in danger.

"I guess if she's this late it probably would be a good idea to have someone go check on her." Hotch was about to suggest that Morgan take Reid or Emily with him when he noticed that he was already out the door and halfway to the elevator.

"I hope she's ok." Hotch said to himself as he dialed her cell phone number, only to get her voicemail, before going back to his paperwork.

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When Morgan arrived at J.J.'s small home everything seemed normal. The brightness of the sun and the colorful flowers in her front yard made him feel almost joyful, but when he remembered his mission, his reason for being there, the sudden joyfulness that he had felt for only a second disappeared as quickly as it had come. The dread he was beginning to feel only intensified as he look around. The morning's rolled up newspaper still sitting on her front porch, the fact that no lights were on in the house and what he saw when he looked in a window made his panic level rise even more. The window he chose to look in had just happened to be the window that lead to her bedroom. All the drawers in her dresser were open, the bed wasn't made, the closet door was open and there wasn't a single hanger in the closet with an article of clothing on it.

Derek Morgan didn't want to believe it, but he could feel deep inside him that J.J. was gone. He didn't know why or how, he just knew that it looked as though she had left in a hurry. He hoped that someone hadn't forced her to leave, but he also prayed that she hadn't left on her own because he had no idea what could make her want to leave without telling him.

To find an answer to his questions and also to vent some of his anger at the thought of the one person he loved suddenly leaving without telling him Morgan kicked down the front door. As he stepped into the living room he noticed an envelope sitting on the kitchen table. He looked around as he moved closer to it, scared at what kind of truth the contents of it might hold.

As Morgan slowly moved through the living room, getting closer and closer to the envelope he began to notice items around the house that had disappeared since his last visit. Pictures of office parties were missing from the walls and several books had disappeared from the shelves they once sat on.

Finally he made his way through the living room and into the kitchen. Slowly lowering himself into a chair he reached his right hand out to grasp the white, crisp envelop that had Morgan written on it in J.J's unmistakable cursive handwriting.

He slid a single piece of paper from the envelope, unfolded it and began to read:

Derek,

I guess by now you have probably figured out that I have left. I am truly sorry and I want you to know that if I could have done this another way or prevented it from happening I would have. I never really got the chance to tell you, but I hope you know that I love you and I have for a long time now. I can only hope and pray that someday I will be able to see you again and tell you why I had to leave. Please don't be mad and try not to forget me. I know I could never forget you, even if I wanted to. I will always love you and I will never stop thinking about you. Say goodbye to the rest of the team for me.

Sorry,

Jen

Tears came to his eyes as he finished reading the letter. It raised more questions than it answered and he could not understand why. All she said was that she had to go, but why? What could possibly have made her want to leave her job, her friends, her life and him, the man who loved her and whom she apparently loved back?

Morgan rose from his chair and taking her letter and envelope with him he got in his car and drove, still not comprehending that J.J. was gone and he might never see her again.

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