Disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada...of I owned anything then I would not be poor...blah blah blah...we all know the drill...

A/N: It's my first Remus/Tonks fic. I didn't become a fan till a few weeks back. I hope you diehard fans enjoy it...it's justa little ditty I thought up while reading through all the brilliant fics that were already posted! Sorry if Tonks and Remus are a lttle OOC...but's that's how I see them, seeing as we don't know too much about them. Deal with it already!

Moments Like These

Dear diary,

No, that makes me sound like a kid…

Oh screw it, it doesn't really matter how I start it. I can't believe I let Remus talk me into this…I mean, diary's are for kids right? I suppose this is a bit more than a diary though, it's kind of like, a memory book. Not that I'm likely to forget anything, but just in case…perhaps I should start with who I am and what I'm doing now.

Ok.

My name is Nymphadora Tonks. Just Tonks to you. I don't know what drugs my mother was on when she chose that, but hey, it's not like I can change it (I've tried to, believe me). I'm 25 years old…and well…I'm a Metamorphmagus. That means I can change my appearance without having to use a wand. You could say it's a gift, but I've been able to do it all my life, so it's nothing exceptional to me. My mum had the biggest shock of her life when I was little and first changed myself. She thought someone had switched her daughter. Hehe, oh the fun I had. Anyway, back to today.

Right now I'm sitting, no lying, on my bed at number 12 Grimmauld Place. It's a Sunday and it's raining, so there's not much else to do around here. Especially with Sirius gone…I'll stop there and come back to that later…I might just start crying, which my give Remus a bit of a shock…me just bursting into tears randomly. That's who's sitting beside me, his back resting against the headboard. Me? I'm propping myself up with my elbows with my head at the foot of the bed, writing in this diary/journal/book/whatever you want to call it. Obviously.

Remus Lupin is my…boyfriend? No, that also sounds childish…and despite what everyone else says, I do act like an adult…sometimes. He's more like my partner; the one man who I love so much it hurts. He's reading a book…I don't know what…he read the first sentence to me a while ago and I nearly fell asleep. Ok, so I faked it, but you get the point. Give me an action or horror novel anytime. Of course, I'd need someone to cuddle if I got scared. That's what's so amazing about Remus; he's always there for me when I need him, and there for me when I don't…what am I saying? I'll always need him…anyway…enough mushy stuff. He's gently stroking the back of my leg, sending little tingles everywhere…and that was me just whacking him for trying to read what I'm writing…and as I told him, no peeking till I'm finished.

There's a rumble of thunder outside; it's been like this for days…we're all driving each other up the wall with boredom…of course, Fred and George keep us all entertained with their pranks and jokes. Everyone is trying to keep their spirits up, but it's hard you know. This place doesn't seem right without Sirius here, Apart from my parents, he was my favourite relative, because he didn't treat me as an annoying kid, he treated me like one of his mates, like Remus you could say, without all the gross boys stuff they got up to.

The first time I met Remus was when Mum invited all the marauders round…but I was like seven then and really shy. It's kind of hard to believe right? Me shy? But I was, probably because I didn't want them to think I was some silly little girl, so I spent the whole time in my room, spying on them playing outside. The first actual time I was properly introduced to Remus I was more interested in seeing Sirius. You can understand why, I mean, he'd been locked up in that awful place for years, and then on the run for a couple of years, so I'm bound to want to say hi to him…over and over and over again. And then, when I finally did get introduced…

"Tonks, get off of me, I would like to breathe at some point," Sirius gasped, unwinding the woman's arms from around his neck. She stood back and grinned at him.

"I'm sorry, but you can hardly expect me to just stand here and say 'wotcher, how're you doing Sirius' when I haven't seen you for ages and ages and ages and…"

"Alright Tonks, I get it."

Tonks looked around the hallway and shivered. "You know, I didn't really think I'd ever be back here." She shuddered again. "Once was enough."

"Would you like the grand tour?"

Tonks raised an eyebrow, "I know the rooms of this house quite enough thank you." It was only then that she remembered there was someone else there. "How rude of you Sirius. Aren't you going to introduce me?"

Sirius stared at her in disbelief. "Don't you remember Remus?" Tonks spun around to face him.

"Remus Lupin?"

"You remember me?"

"Well not really," she grinned sheepishly, "I mean, the only time I ever saw you was when I was seven, and the view of where you lot were playing wasn't all that great from my bedroom window. But Sirius talks about you, James and Peter a lot. Well he did."

She noticed the dark looks appearing on both of the men's faces.

"I'm sorry, I put my foot in it didn't I…again." She shrugged in a half apology.

"It's ok Tonks," Sirius said, swinging an arm around her shoulders and guiding her towards the basement kitchen. "How come you haven't got pink spiky hair or anything?"

"I thought you might want to see the real me, you know, it having been…" she started counting the years off on her fingers.

"I know how long it's been Tonks," Sirius interrupted, a sombre look in his eyes. Tonks threw her arms around him again, tears running down her cheeks…

Ok, so Remus didn't really get a look in, but hey, we were working together, it's not as though we didn't talk. In fact, the night I saw Sirius for the first time after Merlin knows how many years, I stayed at Grimmauld Place. It was really eerie, and the portrait of Mrs Black really scared me. In fact, as I was walking to the kitchen to get a drink she started up again…and this was in the middle of the night…before we put curtains over her. Most people were still up, but it was Remus who came out into the hall first. Being the clumsy twit that I am, I stumbled down the last few stairs, having tripped over the hem of my dressing gown…straight into Remus' arms. That's happened quite a lot actually, but I think he's used to it now. I don't really need an excuse anymore, I just throw myself at him, and most of the time I'm welcomed, except when he's carrying hot tea, or trying to go to bed without waking anyone, one portrait in particular.

Anyway, we exchanged words sometimes, but nothing of any importance, I mean, I wasn't exactly around a lot; I had my job at the Ministry, and then work for the…well…I don't know who might get their hands on this so I'd better not say…oh what the hell…I've already told you where I am. So, I'm always doing something for the Order of the Phoenix, and then reporting back at meetings (which aren't as exciting as a few certain boys and girls think they are, in truth, they're kind of scary sometimes…). And then I have my flat in London. To be honest there's more stuff here than at my own place, but I never liked going back to my creepy dark hole, particularly after a hard shift at work, or a miserable Order meeting. Mostly I just wanted to see Remus, even if it was just to say 'hi'.

My flat is horrible and unlived in…before I joined the Order, it's main purpose was as a place to crash after work…I used to work double shifts then, but now Kingsley and Mad-Eye have reduced my work load quite a bit, what with Order business and everything. That's why I can sit here now, not doing anything much. I can remember when he first cuddled me; you know, the 'it's alright, I'm here to comfort you' kind of cuddle, not the 'oops, try not to be too clumsy Tonks' cuddle he gives me every time I fall into his arms by accident…

Tonks barely noticed that she had rang the doorbell of 12 Grimmauld Place. Which meant she forgot she wasn't supposed to ring the doorbell. It was raining buckets of water and Tonks, being Tonks, had forgotten an umbrella, and so by the time she had walked from the Ministry to the house, she was absolutely soaked. Not to mention absolutely exhausted. It was Molly who opened the door, ready to scold Tonks for ringing the bell, but as she saw the younger woman, she immediately bundled her inside.

"Tonks! You're soaked. Where have you just walked from?" Molly whispered frantically as she guided Tonks towards the kitchen, intent on making a nice, warm cup of tea.

"The Ministry."

"In this rain?"

"It wasn't raining when I started back…" Tonks' words were also little more than whispers, but this was down to tiredness rather than trying not to awaken Mrs Black. This didn't last long however, as Tonks sneezed rather loudly just as the came to the kitchen door. Almost at once the shrieks started. Molly rolled her eyes and ordered Tonks to make herself comfortable, whilst she made the tea. The screeching stopped almost at once, and footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs towards the kitchen. It was a good job Remus opened the door at that moment, for he was able to catch Tonks as everything around her went black…

"What happened Molly?" asked Remus, extremely worried about the woman who was now resting in his arms, her head drooping over the side of one of them. He placed an arm under her legs and scooped her up, her head resting against his chest. He turned back out of the door, making his way up to her room, Molly following behind him.

"I don't know, she turned up soaked on the doorstep, having walked from the Ministry in that downpour, and I was about to make tea when, well, you know what happened."

Remus glanced at the pale face of Tonks. "Do you know how much work she's been doing? I know she was on night duty the last couple of nights…"

"And she's been doing double shifts at the Ministry…how many hours of sleep must she have had? About six?"

"I don't know Molly." Molly opened the door to Tonks' room, and Remus carefully laid her on the bed, then drying her work robes. He carefully pulled a book off of her rather messy bookshelf, and settled on the edge of the bed, waiting for her to wake up…

Remus closed the book he was reading as the witch beside him stirred gently. Her hair (now long and dark red) was fanned out over the pillow. Tonks stretched and yawned, before realising that there was someone else on the bed. She opened her eyes to find Remus sitting there.

"Wotcher!"

"Hey Tonks."

She glanced at the clock on her bedside table, and swung her legs off of the bed. "No rest for the wicked, eh Remus?"

He pushed her back down on the bed.

"You are going nowhere Tonks."

"But I have to go to work. Kingsley won't be happy if I don't show up…"

"Molly's already sorted that out."

"Poor Kingsley."

"Don't worry about him, he can handle it. Tell me, how many hours of sleep have you been getting?"

She shrugged. "A few…I don't see what's so important…" she trailed off. "How did I end up here anyway? The last thing I remember was standing in the kitchen and then everything went black…oh."

"Exactly. You were lucky I was there to catch you, otherwise you'd have a big gash on your head right now."

Tonks blushed slightly. "Thanks," she mumbled, flopping back down on the bed and closing her eyes. "Wake me up when there's food on the go," she said, waving a hand to no one in particular. Within seconds she was asleep again. Remus smiled gently, before returning to his book…

The pillow beneath her head didn't feel as soft as it had a couple of hours ago. Tonks gradually opened her eyes, getting accustomed to the light.

"Finally awake are we?"

It only took her a few moments to realise that her head was not in fact resting on a pillow, but on Remus' chest instead.

"Oh shit," she exclaimed, sitting up looking absolutely horrified. "I'm so sorry Remus…how the hell did I end up on you?" She yawned. Remus noticed how tired she still looked.

"It doesn't matter," he said, pulling her back into his arms, "just sleep."

Aw…it felt so good in his arms…although I didn't have much time to ponder anything because I was asleep in a few moments. Oh well. It was rather embarrassing when I woke up again, but then Molly called us all for dinner, and I must have ran out of there like lightening.

I don't know when I first felt the feelings I feel for him now, but I do remember the first time he kissed me. It was really unexpected; despite being an Auror, loads of things surprise me, and believe me, this certainly did.

I think I must have fallen asleep on the couch next to Remus one night; one of those nights when we were all chatting mindlessly, trying to entertain ourselves. I think he was already asleep anyway, and I kind of just flopped into his lap…so that's where I found myself the next morning, opening my eyes to see Remus staring into them, gently stroking my hair, which at the time was golden brown, my eyes a pale green, the natural me you could say. I rarely change my appearance anymore, just because Remus likes me the way I am, the real me. Besides, it's harder for him to run his hands though short and spiky hair, so I keep my hair the way it is…dead straight. I used to hate my real appearance, but I've learned to like it. Also, I have to have a whole wardrobe to go with my tomboy look; underneath I'm quite girly…and I wear an awful lot of pink.

Anyway, back to the memory, for this is a memory book…

Tonks yawned, not wanting to move, but to fall back to sleep. Something made her open her eyes though; the gentle stroking of her hair felt a bit odd, and although where she was lying was rather comfortable, it certainly wasn't her bed. In fact, she didn't remember going to bed last night. Cautiously opening her eyes, she found Remus looking down at her.

"Hi," she whispered, blushing slightly at the fact that she was lying in his lap.

"Hi," he replied, not once stopping his fingers from running through her hair.

"What happened?"

He grinned. "It would seem that we fell asleep, and you ended up here."

"Yes, it would seem that way, wouldn't it?" Tonks smiled shyly up at him. "I have a habit of falling on you don't I? Even in my sleep." She giggled rather girlishly, which surprised Remus somewhat. "But you are very comfortable."

It was hard to tell who moved first, but it felt as though little fires had started all over Tonks as her lips met Remus'. Neither person pulled back; instead they deepened the kiss, exploring each other's mouths with their tongues. Tonks shifted herself so that she was straddling his lap, and ran her hands through his hair. Remus' hands found their way to her hips, and he pulled her closer, their bodies incredibly close. It was only the lack of oxygen that forced them to part, albeit not that much.

"Why gallant Sir," Tonks breathed, running her finger along his jaw line, "you really do know how to please a woman."

His only response was to pull her in for another kiss, by which time she'd forgotten what she had said in the first place…

Remus is an incredibly good kisser. He'll probably punish me for writing that, but hey, his punishments are good…hehe. The funny thing is that we didn't rush into this relationship. I mean, I'm a pretty spontaneous person, but it felt right to get to know each other properly. I love finding out little things about him…true, I already knew he was a werewolf, but so what. He loves chocolate, which surprised but pleased me, because I'm somewhat of a chocoholic myself. His grin is even cheekier than mine, and he has the most wonderful sense of humour. And most of all, he treats me like a princess; he's so caring and loving and gentle.

Things haven't been that easy though. At least we had each other when we lost Sirius. Well, we had each other when Remus finally came to see me in St. Mungo's. I didn't even know he had died; loads of the Order came to visit me, but didn't think to tell me that my own cousin (ok, first cousin once removed) wasn't coming back, so in the end it was Remus who told me…

Her body still ached, and there was the most uncomfortable pain in her left side, but what else could Tonks expect after being cursed and falling down some stairs, unconscious mind you. When she had finally come around, it was to find she was on a ward, the same one as Minerva McGonagall in fact. They had opposite beds. Minerva was almost fully recovered and due to go back to Hogwarts anytime, but Tonks barely registered anyone else in the room at that point; she was so tired and hurt so much. More and more members of the Order came to visit both of them, but not once did Sirius contact her. She knew he couldn't come, but even a letter would do. In fact, where the hell was Remus? She thought that he would have least come to see her. At least she had company with Minerva. It was strange having conversations with her former teacher; Tonks had been an exceptionally good transfiguration student, probably the best in her class, due to her ability to change her appearance. It was also due to this ability that found Tonks in Minerva's office a lot, for she was bullied somewhat for being different, and extremely clumsy. But in the few days that Minerva was still there, they chatted a lot about old times, and the war, amongst other stuff, but not once was Sirius' death mentioned. It was the same day that the Professor left St. Mungo's, that Remus came to see her, and she found out.

Remus carefully opened the door to the ward, to find that Tonks was the only one there, surrounded by lots of bouquets of flowers. He walked over to the bed, but she was asleep, so he sat in the chair next to the bed, gently caressing her hand with his own. Tonks stirred slightly and her eyes fluttered open, coming to rest on Remus.

"Hey you," Remus whispered.

Tonks' eyes narrowed and she sat up abruptly. "Where have you been? Why haven't you been to see me?" she exclaimed, clutching her side in pain.

"Are you ok?"

"Oh yeah, just peachy thanks," she replied sarcastically, sinking back into the pillows, "just answer my questions. And why hasn't Sirius contacted me?" Tonks noticed how Remus looked devastated.

"What? What happened Remus?" He didn't answer. "Tell me what happened."

"I would have thought you'd have already known?"

She shook her head. "No, nobody's told me anything. What happened? Is Harry alright?"

Remus nodded. "Harry's fine, if a little shaken up." He paused. "But we lost Sirius."

Tonks didn't say anything, she just blinked and stared at Remus. "Tell me you're lying. Sirius isn't dead…he isn't. He can't be!" Remus nodded his head, as Tonks burst into tears. He perched on the bed and took her in his arms, tears pouring down his face and into her hair…

I don't think there's been any other time when we've needed each other than we did then…and for weeks afterwards. I still expect to see Sirius with Buckbeak, or sitting in the kitchen with his feet on the table, and then suddenly I remember. It's hard, very hard, but as I told Remus, we have to move on…Sirius wouldn't have wanted us to turn into vegetables.

Remus is a great comforter. Everyone knows I'm clumsy, but it hurts when people keep telling me, or they roll their eyes if I break or drop something. It's mostly Molly actually, not that I have anything against her, not now anyway, but I don't think she really liked me to begin with…I disturbed the running of the house too much…

As usual, Molly was in the kitchen preparing lunch for the remaining members in the Order still at the house. Luckily, the children were all at school, so they were not under her feet, but unfortunately, Tonks was. That girl could create a disaster all on her own. With it being a Saturday, and that there was going to be an Order meeting that night, Minerva was also there, whilst Albus would come along prior the start of the meeting. Molly, Minerva and Tonks were all in the kitchen. Tonks was extremely bored; the conversation had dwindled down to nothing and the only think she could do was tap her finger on the table to keep herself amused. It was obvious her finger taping was annoying Molly, who kept shooting her annoyed glances. Finally, she caved in.

"Tonks! Please stop it!" Molly sighed with exasperation. "Make yourself useful and set out these plates." Molly handed her a stack of plates to place around the table. All was going well until Tonks tripped over a chair leg, and the three plates she was carrying shattered to the ground. Apologising profusely, she bent down to clear the mess up, not seeing Molly's glare. She did however, hear what she said next.

"Tonks, that's the third time this week! You must learn to be more careful! You're so clumsy, do you know that?"

Tonks stopped what she was doing and stood up, anger evident on her face.

"Yes Molly, I know I'm clumsy. You're forever telling me I'm clumsy, how can I not know! I've been told I'm clumsy since before I can remember. My parents say I'm clumsy! My teachers said I was clumsy! I'd say my friends said it too, but I didn't have any BECAUSE I was clumsy! And now I get it here. I don't need this, I just don't!" She stormed out of kitchen, almost colliding into Remus on the way, but just managing not to. Minerva looked at Molly slightly annoyed.

"There was really no need for that Molly, she knows. You wouldn't believe how many times I had her in tears in my office because her classmates made fun of her."

Molly cowered slightly under her former Professors gaze, and quickly rushed out of the kitchen.

"Tonks! Wait, I didn't mean it that way…"

Tonks stopped on her way up the staircase. "Yes, you did. I know exactly what you meant. You think I'm completely useless. Well maybe I am, but I know I'm clumsy, so I don't need telling every five minutes…I don't need telling at all!" She stormed off up to her room, slamming the door behind her, and consequently waking up the portrait of Mrs Black…

I was pretty upset. Remus followed me up and took me into his arms. It was nice to know someone loved me for who I was. After I'd calmed down I apologised to Molly; I mean, I could see it from her point of view. I guess we were all a little bit on edge. Molly just learnt not to ask me to do anything that could involve breaking something. I have to admit I've calmed down slightly; I'm less prone to dropping stuff, and I think that's down to Remus. I don't know why, it just is. I guess I've had quite a few rough days over the past year.

There was this one day where work had been hell. I'd been out on Order business the night before, and then had to go into work, to work on a few cases. Kingsley kept piling more and more files on me throughout the day, and was getting really annoyed when I kept almost falling asleep on my desk. You would have thought he would have gone easy on me; he knew I hadn't had any sleep. And then, he had the nerve to tell me he was going home, because it was near Christmas and he wanted to spend some time with his family, and would I finish the rest of the files? The cheek of it! Didn't he think I wanted to go home at some point? I had family too, and I was missing Remus like crazy. Anyway, by the time I had finished, it was kind of late, way past dinner time, and I was starving. I went back to Grimmauld Place to see if there were any leftovers…

Molly opened the front door to find Tonks standing on the doorstep.

"You're late Tonks, I expected you back long before this."

"I'm sorry Molly, but Kingsley left me with all the work; he said he wanted to get back to his family." Tonks stepped in side.

"Oh," Molly replied, a puzzled expression forming on her face, "well he's here."

Tonks was confused. Molly guided her towards the living room where everyone else was somewhat relaxing, telling Tonks to make herself comfortable whilst she got her some dinner. As Tonks entered the room, she tripped over an imaginary lump on the carpet, and ended up sprawled on the floor in the middle of the room.

"Oh look, Tonks has arrived," someone drawled, "we should have known. Can't you be more careful? That must be the eleventh time today!"

Although she didn't know who was speaking to begin with, she knew now. It could only be Kingsley, who was the only person who had seen her trip every time during the day. She stood up, her face like thunder.

"Just shut up will you!" Tonks screamed, making everyone jump, and awakening the portrait of Mrs Black. But her screams were nothing compared to Tonks'. "And don't start having a go at me when you know full well that I was on duty last night and didn't get any sleep, before going into bloody work, to do work for you! And then you dare to tell me to finish up, so you can supposedly go home to your family?" Tonks took a deep breathe and prepared to continue her rant, but she caught the look on everyone's faces. There was a mixture of shock, for they had never seen Tonks quite as angry as this, and frightened looks; most powerful magic could be performed when people were furious. But the person who troubled her most was Remus. His face was a contortion of anger, frustration and confusion. And that's what scared her, so Tonks did the one thing she had always been told not to do in Auror training. She ran. Not outside, no. That would have been stupid, what with it being cold and everything. No, she ran upstairs, ignoring the portrait of Mrs Black on her way up. She stormed into her room, tears running down her face from both anger and exhaustion, turned around, and slammed the door shut. Right in Remus' face.

"Oh shit!" she exclaimed, opening it quickly, to see a slightly bewildered man standing before her. Mrs Black was still screaming. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit." Remus didn't say anything, but instead wrapped his arms around Tonks and let her cry, carefully shutting the door behind him with his foot.

"Shh," he whispered, gently rubbing her back as she sobbed. After a while, Tonks pulled away slightly.

"You scared me."

"What?"

"I saw the look on your face downstairs, and it…scared me. I don't get scared…much." She pressed her head to Remus' chest and inhaled his scent. Remus smiled slightly at this habit. It was very much a 'Tonks' thing.

"In all truth, you scared me as well."

Tonks looked up at him. "Why?"

"You were so angry…thought you might blow the house up at any moment…" He grinned sheepishly. Tonks didn't smile back, but instead moved to sit on her bed.

"It's not funny Remus. Kingsley just can't treat me like I'm his personal slave. I just want to be treated like I'm of some worth, you know. Everyone assumes that because I'm the youngest I can't do things, or I have the energy to be awake for days. But I don't! I like a nice quiet room just as much as the next person."

Remus came to sit down beside her, and she snuggled into his arms.

"They know Dora, well, they do now, once I'd given them a piece of my mind as well." She giggles, wiping away the last of her tears.

"You did? But you were at my door so fast."

"You forgot you tripped up at least five times before getting here."

Tonks didn't reply, but a small sniff indicated that she wasn't too pleased with that remark.

"But that's not a bad thing, because most of the time I'm there to catch you, and I want nothing more than to have you in my arms."

Tonks looked into his eyes; clear adoration showing in her own.

"You know Remus, you're the only one who really knows how to cheer me up." She glanced at the clock on her bedside table. "Can we stay here tonight? I don't think I could face going back down."

Remus nodded in answer to this, laying back on the bed, pulling the auror with him. After a few silent minutes, both could be heard to whisper at the same time.

"I love you."

You know, it makes me want to cry just thinking about it really. Looking back on what I've just written, it's easy to see it's been a very trying time, but worth every second of it.

Sorry, got a bit sidetracked there…I was just admiring how the light makes the ring on my left hand sparkle…hee hee…that's right. About half an hour ago, Remus asked me to marry him. I think you can guess the answer. And you know, the girl who once vowed never to marry because men were insensitive bastards…well…now can't wait to be married to the man of her dreams. Its funny how things turn around, isn't it?

Remus just caught me staring at him and smiled that oh so cute and sweet smile at me. And even though it's raining outside, and we've nothing to do, it's moments like these that I love the most.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed my first Remus/Tonks fic...I certainly enjoyed writing it. You know, I heard you can review these fics...wink, wink, nudge, nudge...oh, and check out my other fics, please? Thank you and goodnight my cuteness fans!