disclaimer: I don't own the "Skulduggery Pleasant" books, though I wish I did. I don't own calvin hobbes either, but that's only cuase i don't have a copy right.

Calvin Hobbes was bored. Yeah, he had been bored before, but this was different. He wanted some sort of … of … excitement. Something totally unique, almost hand-tailored just for him. An adventure, he decided. With magic, and fights, and yo-yos. You can't ever go wrong with yo-yos. Yo-yos equal fun. Fun equals excitement. Excitement equals the end of boredom. So, he would start playing with his yo-yos, which was his normal solution to problems such as these. He'd been yo-yoing so long, some people considered him a professional yo-yoist. He wasn't. All the same, though, he was really, really good. As long as he was acting sanely.

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"Clothes. That's what I need to get now." The person stating this rather profound remark was none other than detective skeleton, Skulduggery Pleasant.

"You need more clothes like I need to run into a rogue Cleaver, Skulduggery." This came from Valkyrie. "Besides, hate to bring up a sore point, but Ghastly is currently a statue. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about that. "

"Shut up."

"But talking in fun!"

"Shut up, or I will personally throw you out the window, or bind you to the Canary Car, and then take PICTURES!"

"You wouldn't."

"I would. Not only I would, I would take great pleasure in it." Skulduggery paused. "Then, I would post them on, I don't know, Facebook?" By now, he was cackling maniacally.

"I would kill you. Again."

This remark only brought more evil joy to Skulduggery, who contemplated actually doing this cruel deed. However, he remembered his original predicament, and again stated, "I. NEED. CLOTHES. My clothes are nothing but rags due to that fight, so I repeat, I NEED CLOTHES."

"We can always try to find someone else to make you clothes, other than Ghastly." Stephanie reconsidered. "Except that would be just like breaking into that vault again; digging and looting and dancing on the family grave. So no, we have to save Ghastly."

"And so, I will have to put my amazing genius brain to the test, and figure out the secrets of the Earth Element."

"Really? I would have viewed that area between where your ears would be as a vacuum. So therefore, wouldn't it be putting your amazing genius vacuum to the test?" Stephanie snickered. Skulduggery, on the other hand, was no particularly amused. As they left there current location, which was also known as Gordon's house, they were chucking rocks and the like at each other.

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Calvin only noticed something odd was going on when his wall blew up without the aid of nitroglycerin packets. Not that he would ever willingly blow stuff up. Of course, when things went explosively off course, the police always came right to him, leaving him with quite the criminal record. Why? Because, of course, he had two rather different personalities. One, a bookworm and yo-yoer, the other, a criminally insane kid bent on blowing stuff up. With an emphasis on BOOM! Big explosions equaled a happy kid. When he was Calvin, that is. Hobbes was the civilized child, and Calvin was, well, Calvin. That is, the tiniest bit crazy. However, back to the problem on hand: Calvin Hobbes' wall had blown up, and he, for one, was innocent. This time. Obviously, the explosion in his room had made him mad. Therefore, equipping himself with the most dangerous thing he had on him, Calvin faced the clearing cloud armed with 2 yo-yos. It was time to get a bit crazy. "Hobbes? Come out, will you?"

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Skulduggery was getting decidedly frustrated. Everything he could find on the magic of the Earth element said basically that all the Earth element could do was to be used as a last chance thing, turning you into a statue without a clue whether or not you would come out this century or not. In fact, he got so frustrated he started blowing things up. That was how Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain mat Calvin Hobbes.

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Skulduggery thought it was odd when he heard only one person talk to apparently another person, and the person didn't even seem mildly irritated. This was odd, because disturbances in the air only showed one person was within the nearby vicinity. However, he didn't have much time to ponder this, because the skull won from a fateful poker game was almost immediately split in two. This irritated Skulduggery rather much. So much, that he conjured a fireball. "That was a good skull, you know, whoever you are. I rather liked it. What do you think you are doing, breaking it like that? Speaking of which, any last words, before I totally and epically slay you? "

Valkyrie stood back, waiting for the cloud to clear.

"Yeah, I have words, but they ain't last words. I'll bet you a yo-yo on that!" And with that, Calvin Hobbes was unleashed on the world of Skulduggery Pleasant.

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Author's Note

When referring to Calvin Hobbes, Calvin is the name used while he is nutty, and the rational side of him is Hobbes. I will reference them as that. (Yes, I did get the name Calvin Hobbes from Calvin & Hobbes, shame on me)

Please, this is my first Fan Fic, so REVIEW! I'M BEGGING YOU

Also, as this is my first Fan Fic, also bear with me through the awful writing that this will probably be.

- Aniewun B. Utme