New Dragons in Town

By: Etherion Rhythm

Let- (stares angrily out window) Of all the places we could have chosen to live, we had to have the misfortune of living next to that monster, Jegan!

(pounds fists so hard against window that it shatters)

Julia- What the crap!? Did you just bust out a window?

Let- Well, I was very angry.

(As Julia is about to beat the ever-loving crap out of Let, the doorbell rings)

Let- Ah, my life is spared once again! I'll get the door?

(he answers the door to see none other than Jegan standing there. Dramatic music plays)

Let- Where is that dreadful music coming from?

Jegan- Oh, I always carry around a boom box for these occasions.

Let- You're a psycho. More importantly, what do you want?

Jegan- I wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.

Let- Do you think I'm an idiot? What do you really want, Jegan?

Jegan- (eye twitches) I just wanted to tell you that JULIA DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!

Let- You're still on that? I'll have you know that Julia and I are happily married.

Jegan- You what?

Let- Julia is my wife.

Jegan- Come again?

(Let grabs a chalkboard out of nowhere and writes "WE'RE MARRIED" on it in huge letters)

Jegan- Prove it.

Let- I don't have to. Nyeh.

(sticks his tongue out)

Jegan- I'm so frustrated!

(punches Let and walks home)

Let- Owwww.

Julia- What was that about, dear?

Let- Urrrrgh! This means war!

Julia- Leave me out of this one. Last time you two numbskulls fought over me, I wound up hauling Jegan's lazy bum all over the world.

Let- If that is what you wish.

Julia- Oh, by the way.

(kicks Let in the face)

Julia- That's for breaking my new window.

(the next morning, Jegan wakes up in his room)

Jegan- Wow, what a wonderful day!

(he looks outside and sees every tree in his yard covered with a strange papery substance)

Jegan- WHAT?

(he rushes outside)

Jegan- HE TP'D ME!!!!!!

Let- Aaaahahaha! Guess again! I WALLPAPERED you! Now it will be even harder to remove! I even used fuddy duddy grandma-style wallpaper so it's that much more unsightly!

Jegan- How dare you do such a thing!

(he returns home, defeated, unable to say anything)

Let- Ho ho! This is the ultimate victory for me!

Julia- Hey, could you maybe shut up? I'm watching my stories.

(that evening, Jegan bakes a pecan pie)

Jegan- Hahahaha! This is my best idea yet!

(the next day, Jegan leaves the pie on Let's doorstep)

Julia- Thank you so much for helping us move the rest of our stuff in here, Musica. It's been a real hassle.

Musica- Hey, no problem. I'm just being a friend, ya know?

Julia- As thanks, why don't you take this pecan pie which inexplicably showed up on our doorstep this morning. Let and I are both allergic to pecans, so we have no use for that.

Musica- Wow, thanks, Julia! This is my favorite dessert of all time!

(later, Jegan rings Let's doorbell)

Julia- Now what do you want?

Jegan- Haha! How is your hubby holding up now?

Julia- What are you talking about? Let went to play golf with Haru and Shuda.

Jegan- He's okay, then?

Julia- …uh… yeah…

Jegan- Did you eat the pie?

Julia- Pie? I'm not following you?

Jegan- I put a pecan pie on your doorstep! Did you or Let eat it?

Julia- Oh, that pie! I gave it to Musica.

Jegan- You idiot! How could you do that!?

Julia- What? Re-gifting isn't illegal!

Jegan- No, but I used an entire bottle of ipecac to make that pie! My revenge against Let was certain!

Julia- You mean… oh no!

(onboard the Silver Knights, the sound of Musica vomiting violently is drowned out by the television)

Hebi- (singing along with television) Earwax the elephant! Send in for your watering can!

Musica- (gagging) Please!!! Someone help me!

Hebi- I'm so glad I was able to find the entire first season of Earwax the Elephant on !

Musica- (retching) I think I have swine flu!

Hebi- I'm reliving my childhood!

Musica- I'M DYING!!!!!

(a couple days later, in a church)

Ruby- Dearly beloved, we are here to say goodbye to Mr. Musica, a brave soul who fought to save the world and died as he vomited up each and every one of his vital organs. Poyo.

THE END

Musica- Hey! I'm not really dead!

Let- The purpose of this story was to teach people not to argue.

Julia- Because when people argue, someone usually dies.

Musica- Yeah, usually somebody AWESOME! Okay, who wants my autograph.

THE END (FOR REALZ THIS TIME)