My Best Mate

by Snowlia

"What could possibly be wrong with this?" I chose not to ruin the moment by responding. Lorren/Zach

Avalon Web of Magic
"My Best Mate"
Rated M
Category: Romance, Hurt/Comfort
Pairing: Lorren/Zach
By Snowlia
Warnings: Slash, mild language, Kara bashing, sexual content and this is ridiculously long...

"What could possibly be wrong with this?" I chose not to ruin the moment by responding.

Quick A/N-If you have a problem with slash (that means boy/boy coupling) then please do not read this. Seriously if you KNOW you are not going to like it, why are you even reading this? Please everyone, do fanfiction a favor and keep your pet monkeys away from the keyboard so they can't bug the world.

Also! A big thanks to Rainpath for being my beta for this story! You rock! Also to Wendy and Kelsie for helping as well! And Zen for trying, haha.

Enjoy!

"Zach!" I called out in vain to my defeated friend. He ignored me once more, his form little more then a dark blur as the descending sun cast an obnoxiously bright backlight on the scene. Squinting and ducking my head I trudged forward, calling out again, a little more annoyed this time despite my pledge to aid my broken hearted friend.

He ignored me even more predominately as I neared and it was obvious that he was within earshot. Turning his head dramatically in the opposite direction he ascended the ladder to Okawa, the large tree in the middle of the glade. Her branches rustled in acknowledgment of him, like she was trying to comfort him herself.

Sighing in exasperation I squeezed my eyes closed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I thought the scene that had transpired moments before had been hard to watch but what I had to do now might well be three fold the agony. Resolved, I opened my eyes and grabbed hold of the wooden ladder, scaling the tree as quickly and easily as if I were simply walking.

"Damn tree goblins…" Came a mumble from within.

"I don't know exactly makes me a 'tree' goblin per say. You humans just use so much unnecessary energy on things that should be simple." I informed him. His only response was to snort. Rolling my eyes I stalked into the slowly darkening tree house. Tilting my head I found my counterpart staring unseeingly out an especially wide gap in Okawa's branches that served like a window for the irregular cottage. His rough hands were twisting each other behind his back as he stood gravely still, blonde hair covering his eyes which I knew to be wet with unshed tears. "Zach…" I began again, speaking very softly.

It shook me to see him like this. Of our trio, I was the worrier and the thinker, Marlin was the complainer and Zach was the optimistic one always telling us to shut-up. Now here he stood, broken and dismal, before me. With an inaudible sigh I sunk into a ridiculously wide and battered armchair resting a few feet from where the dragon rider had rooted himself and waited.

It was awful, that waiting was, sitting in tense silence awaiting the inevitable though still unsure of how to handle the situation when the silence finally broke, despite the extra time allotted to me. And there he stood, the setting sun still a backlight upon his figure, making him difficult to look at with my sensitive eyes. As it descended, however, it slunk below the branches at his feet and cast a soft orange glow upward. I could now see him more clearly then just a silhouette.

He stood tall and almost straight, if not for the slight bend in his right knee, pulling his upper body along with it. "Zach?" I asked again, keeping emotion out of my voice, being neither pitying nor commanding.

"Three years." He stated plainly, voice devoid of feeling. "Three damn years of fighting this damn war and she chooses the damn earth boy." A laugh escaped his lips as he shook his head in a 'how about that?' manner. I understood clearly that he found none of it funny. However if you were laughing, you couldn't be crying. His shoulders stiffened again as if he were holding something back.

I felt as if I should say something, anything, to comfort him but empathy had never been a strong point for me. I preferred to keep my feelings to myself and didn't enjoy other's pity, therefore making it all the more difficult for me to understand those who felt the need to unload their burden upon others, however healthy such sharing was presumed to be. "I knew it was coming though." Zach cut across my thoughts as he continued unexpectedly. "I knew she wouldn't choose me, I guess I always knew, just didn't want to think about the moment when she would say it out right."

I nodded though he couldn't see. "I'm sorry Zach." My apology was as true as could be, for a moment I hated Adriane for diminishing Zach so, but I knew it wasn't her fault. She couldn't much help if she favored another boy over him, but that didn't lessen the blow upon Zach. "You'll find someone else." I assured him.

"Like what you have?" he snapped. His golden hair made a crown around his head for a fleeting moment as he turned to glare at me through tear streaked eyes.

It was as if he'd ripped out one of my own ribs and stabbed my heart with it. My whole body flinched with the knowledge that he knew. He knew. My greatest pain, what was eating me alive every minute I denied that it existed. First Emily, then Adriane, Marlin, Tasha and now Zach knew. I felt sick, my stomach twisted and my face heated up as I thought about what I had spent the better part of the last months trying not to think about. A groan from the chair brought me back to the situation at hand as I gripped the arm too hard and it exclaimed in pain. Releasing my grip and recomposing myself took no more than a few seconds but it had been enough for Zach. He had seen my pain as clearly as I had felt it.

His face softened into pity of his own. "I'm so sorry Lorren. That wasn't right of me to say."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said it with conviction and as calmly as I could, that's how he knew how badly I was lying. It was the same voice I always used when I was being The Forest Prince, when I was talking politics and battle strategies, devoid of all emotion with just a small hint of superiority, so the other person knew who and what they were dealing with. I never used that kind of voice when I was being just Lorren. I was never as strong as I was when I was The Forest Prince, unless the moment absolutely called for it. Now was a moment that called for me to be stronger then ever. "I love Kara." I told him firmly, my statement was not completely void of all hostility.

My eyes flickered to his and there they stayed; my gaze hard and unwavering. An unspoken challenge hung in the air between us. A challenge for him to say what he was thinking, what I knew he and everyone else was always thinking. No one doubted my words that I loved Kara, my sincerity was true and that made the whole situation all the worse. My heart stung whenever I saw the pity and the surety of their conviction in my friends' eyes. The world was ever so slowly going blurry and I blinked hard. I would not let one drop of physical evidence of my pain show upon my face and I still would not break my gaze.

Zach seemed every bit as determined as I was not to loose this staring contest of ours. The intensity of his striking sapphire eyes aided his cause and I scorned the flat green of my own irises. However bad I was at assisting people with their emotions, I was quite good at reading them. In his gaze there was the pity I hated so much but there was enough friendship and care to soften the blow, even a bit of annoyance to remind me who I was dealing with. With a sigh Zach looked to the floor and slouched a bit more. "I know you do." He sounded very tired. "No need to go all prince-like on me now. It's me, Zach, remember?" He looked up again, looking a bit more like himself. "Your best mate?" He threw me a cocky lopsided grin and I couldn't help but return it.

"Yeah, I remember." With a softer smile still on his lips he stepped lightly towards me, plopping down on the floor beside me in a none-too-poetic manner. He turned back to look at me as I snickered lightly, a funny grin on his face, then turned back and exhaled tiredly before resting his head on my outstretched thigh. My laugh was cut short. He did it so innocently and simply as if we touched so familiarly all the time. Blood rushed harshly to my face at his casualness. More surprising then his move was how…good it felt. Not exactly in a sexual kind of way, it was just the kind of caring and simple gesture that I craved. I smiled at my friend and just as casually I laid my hand on his shoulder, just to let him know that I cared for him as well.

For a moment we did nothing but relax into one another's uncharacteristic touches and said nothing, the final rays of the sun still slowly slinking below the horizon, when Zach sighed heavily. My inappropriate blush was intent on humiliating me as my leg heated up where Zach's breath seeped through the fabric of my trousers. "I don't know what to do Lorren." I didn't think my heart could take much more that night. His voice sounded so broken and so helplessly lost.

"I don't know what to do either Zach." I confessed sadly, "What I do know is that Adriane is a fool. You're the greatest guy I know, anyone would be lucky to have you." I told him honestly.

There was a moment's pause before "Anyone?"

"Anyone." I stated firmly.

He laughed a short humorless laugh and moved his head against my leg a fraction of an inch in what felt like a cat nuzzling and my breath caught strangely in my throat. "Thank-you Lorren, I don't know what I'd do without you, and you're the greatest guy I know." I hadn't realized I'd been instinctively stroking his neck and shoulder until he gave a light shudder. His movement against my leg sent another heat wave across my face and to my humiliation this time he turned to look at me.

I was trying so hard to get my own blush under control I almost didn't notice the beautiful red tint, brushed delicately across his cheekbones and over his nose. Those blindingly blue eyes stared up at me shyly and innocently through a sparse curtain of fine gold. It was as humble as I'd ever seen him, the way he looked at me made me squirm. I couldn't quite comprehend that it was me he was looking at so intensely, with so much adoration and trust, like I was something great to behold. Surely I must have tricked him in some way without meaning to, for I was certainly nothing to behold.

In the middle of my confusion and denial I noticed the trickle of a tear that streaked its way down his cheek. Without thinking about what I was doing or to who I moved my hand from his shoulder to his face, brushing the tear away nonchalantly, as if it were just another casual gesture between friends. My thumb traveled farther then I had intended and swept gently across his slightly parted lips, his breath hot on my skin for an instant before I remember myself and retracted my hand. In union we both looked away in embarrassment. I cursed myself mentally. Never before had I thought anything about the way I blushed but compared to the beautiful crimson that highlighted Zach's face it felt as if my maroon flush had been carelessly splattered on by some rouge painter. It was odd, how self conscience I had suddenly become. Desperately I tried to ignore the not-all-too-unpleasant burning on my left hand and how soft his lips had felt against my skin.

Hesitantly I chanced a glance back at him. His gaze was still lowered but slowly he looked back up at me without moving his head. For a long and tense moment we stared each other down again. Then, without moving and his voice completely void of any and all emotion he stated plainly "Your eyes look funny."

I felt my features contort in utter confusion at the randomness of his statement. The corners of his mouth twitched in amusement but my mind was still whirling trying to figure out what he meant. A little offended I asked "What do you mean?"

"They're all black." He stated just as simply and emotionlessly.

"Oh." That I understood. "I'm a goblin; my eyes dilate more then yours do. They also do it quicker. I prefer them this way anyway."

"Why?" I didn't like his tone of the question. It was a petty thing to think about but suddenly his words were louder in my ears, a hundred meaning to each one rushing in as if each thing he spoke had tripled in weight in the past few minutes. Right now I thought he sounded confused as if the concept of liking my dilated eyes was absolutely absurd.

"Well, it hides most of the awful chartreuse it usually is." With a wrinkled brow he stared at me questioningly and I sighed. "The awful green it usually is." I simplified.

"We both know you're smarter Lorren, no need to rub it in."

With a jesting grin I rolled my eyes "Sorry, I lost my head and forgot who I was dealing with." He glared hard at me and I knew I had hurt his pride. With a delicate smile I ran the back of my index finger along the back of his neck, ruffling a section of his hair playfully. "I'm only kidding." I kept my voice soft and apologetic.

In a heartbeat his anger was gone and he was looking at me the way he had before, with that strange admiration and almost respect. His blush had gotten darker but the sides of his lips were pulled up in an ever growing smile that he seemed to be trying unsuccessfully to fight down. "I like your char…" he trailed off as if unsure of how to pronounce the word then shook his head in defeat "Your green eyes."

"Well how about that, I dislike my normal eye color and like my black eyes; while you like my chartreuse eyes and don't like my black eyes." I smiled but he was frowning and shaking his head vividly.

"That's not what I meant. I mean, I like your black eyes too. I just think the green is a nice color." It was a strange thing to say. The heat had never quite left my face but had been slowly draining away and now it all rushed back two fold what it had been. Zach looked unsure and a little embarrassed himself. He turned away but I could see him gauging my reaction out of his peripheral vision.

"Thanks." He smiled quickly before looking back out the break in Okawa's branches at the now dark sky. Without hesitation he grabbed the side of the chair and was quickly on his feet. He turned back to me and seemed to deliberate with himself for half a second before sitting down beside me on the edge of the chair. I hooked my right leg on the arm rest of the chair and moved over a bit so he would have more room.

"Sorry," he apologized, trying not to sound or look as embarrassed as I could plainly see he was. "It's getting too dark to see you from down there."

I scoffed "Why would you want to be able to see me?"

His eyes narrowed in annoyance. "You're really hard on yourself, you know?" I only shrugged, knowing he was right but not caring much one way or another. "How can you not like yourself Lorren? I mean you're the one who has to like yourself more then anyone else. If you don't like yourself…then you just don't care what happens to you." He was gravely serious and concerned and it irked me. I shifted uncomfortably.

"I've got other people to worry about and to care for, and other people to care about me." I stated.

With a long suffering sigh he bit his lip and looked like he was considering something again before he began speaking again. "Lorren, you're my best friend and I really care about you, you know that right?"

"Of course." I was more then a little surprised by his statement. Of course I knew he cared for me, it was just a little awkward to hear him say it aloud, though I didn't feel any need to mock him or stop him just now.

"Alright, well, you're gonna have to trust that what I'm gonna say is for your own good then. I know it's harsh but you have to listen to me." My blood went cold. I knew exactly what he was going to say. I started to shake my head but he shook his right back. "No, Lorren, you have to listen to me, I can't take it anymore, watching you torture yourself."

"Zach, don't." I warned harshly, every muscle in my body tense and ready to fight him if it would make him stop talking.

"Lorren…" he put his hand on my shoulder in what was suppose to be a comforting gesture but I swiftly and coldly shrugged him off. "Lorren, I don't want to hurt you-"

"Then don't say it!" I warned in a deadly voice. I could see the hurt in his features but my fighting was only making him all the more determined. I tried to stand but he held me where I was.

"Kara's a fool-"

"Don't you dare talk about her that way!" The snarl ripped from my throat but he didn't stop.

"Lorren, you know you're better then her!" His voice was growing more passionate, like my anger was beginning to fuel his own.

"No-"

"Lorren stop! Let me finish! She doesn't care about you and you know it! She's playing with you, she's using you!" I shook my head desperately and looked away. I struggled but he fought back, holding me trapped where I was, torturing me with his words.

"No she's not." Could that be my own voice, sounding so broken and weak? I tried to compose myself and put up my façade of cool collectedness but found that I couldn't, Zach was trying to break me, and he was succeeding.

Roughly he grasped my upper arms and tried to get me to look back at him but I fought hard and refused. "Yes she is!" His cry sounded more desperate then angry now, like he himself was in pain at this revelation. "She's seeing another."

I shook my head even harder then before, feeling my hair cling despairingly to my face where my tears had left long streaks of moisture. "No she's not." I buried my face in my hand and looked as far away from Zach as I could, "No she's not." I whispered it again trying to assure him and trying even harder to reassure myself but the broken sob that escaped me could assure no one. "She wouldn't, not my Kara…" And there it was. All my months of pain and misery; all my denial and pretend ignorance, seeping out of me in one pathetic outburst and one last horribly pitiful attempt to cling to the aforementioned ignorance. The whole time through the whole thing, I knew that if I tried to accept it, if I tried to accept the fact that the girl I was madly and irresistibly in love with was going behind my back with another boy and not even batting an eyelash, I would loose it, all barriers would come down. That's why I had fought so hard to deny my plight.

Two weeks ago when Marlin had tried nonchalantly to tell me that Emily had seen Kara with another boy on Earth I had shrugged him off, telling him I unfortunately had to cut our meeting short. A week before that I had gotten in a huge fight with Tasha when she had made the same accusation. Three weeks before then it had been Emily, calmly telling me that Kara had gone to a dance at their school with a boy named Marcus, and they had heatedly kissed. I denied her claim and she had been one of the few not to fight me, only told me she was there if ever I needed her. Before Emily it had been Adriane, boldly telling me how much Kara was a whore and was messing around with other guys, leading to another unnecessary fight between me and another one of my friends. I had denied it all, I had professed my love for the Blazing Star more then ever and stood beside her no matter what.

I had started shaking, violently shaking, enough so that Zach rested his hands against my arm and whispered "Are you alright?"

"I'm great!" I snapped as I looked back at him fiercely. I must have looked a sight, shaking like mad with my face covered in tears and my hair disheveled from me running my hands through it. "Just great Zach…" I shook my head and tried to look away from his pained gaze but he stopped me. Maneuvering himself so he was on his knees and facing me, still positioned half on the chair and half off, he put a hand on either one of my shoulders to hold me in place.

"Are you alright?" He asked again, obviously seeking a serious answer this time. Hesitantly I nodded.

"I'll be fine." I had no idea whether I would be fine or not, it certainly didn't feel like it at the moment but I didn't know what else to say.

For a long moment we stayed like that, me shaking and tears rolling silently down my cheeks and Zach trying to steady me with his hands on my shoulders. "I'm really sorry Lorren." I only nodded and fixed my gaze past him on the sliver of a moon hanging low in the sky. With another pained sigh he slumped, hands relaxing on my shoulders. "Adriane told you, didn't she?"

Again I nodded. "And Marlin, and Tasha, and Emily..."

He grunted "Must have been hard."

"No. That was the easy part." I laughed without humor once, a cold and bitter noise that surprised even me. "Hard was when she started to distance herself from me, when all it was anymore was physical. Hard was when she started smelling like other guys. Hard was when I knew she was lying about where she got that diamond bracelet…hard was when I first saw a bruise on her neck that I hadn't done." Again I looked away and out at the waning moon. "Guess I just wasn't good enough for her, and who was I to think I was? She was the most beautiful girl in all the realms; Fairy Princess Kara. I may be a prince, but in fairy society even royalty among goblins is lower then most of their own social classes…I'm nobody."

Without warning Zach made another uncalled for move. With a rough tug on my right shoulder he pulled me towards him and closed the distance between us, pressing our chests together, holding us there with white knuckled hands. Ducking his face beside mine he closed the distance there as well, we were cheek to cheek like we were dancing. I was overwhelmed with confusion and emotions I'd rather not have thought of with him so close; his breath ragged in my ear, his lips hardly a millimeter from my skin, his hands grasping tightly to my shoulders, his chest pressed upon mine. I could feel his every muscle outlined between us and feel his chest gently rise and fall with what seemed like far from calm breathing. I hadn't thought it was possible to blush anymore then I had been but at that single moment my whole face must have been violet with unbridled embarrassment and, though it terrified me to admit it, excitement.

"Z-Z-Zach…" I stammered, clutching the side and back of the chair with clawed hands. His golden hair fluttered in my vision, blocking out half of the tree house around us and his strange and tantalizing scent engulfed me. "What-"

"Don't ever say that again, never!" he hissed dangerously, his lips running along the pointed edge of my ear. My body went rigid. Horrified, I did what I always did when presented with a ridiculously dangerous social situation that couldn't be solved with a sword and a good battle strategy, I feigned ignorance. I pretended I had no idea what he was doing, that I didn't know his intentions, and that I didn't feel a rush of excitement and awareness that was unheard of between two boys.

"Say w-what again?" My fingers held tight to the rough fabric of the old armchair, I couldn't afford to let go for fear of loosing myself entirely.

"That you're not good enough. Kara's a fool; she's the one who's not good enough for you!" He ran his nose along my ear in a soothing, nuzzling motion and I took an audible, shuddering intake. "Why do you do this to yourself? Why do you torture yourself? Do you really believe you deserve it?" His own voice was laced with pain, as if the thought of me hurting myself, hurt him as well.

"What-what are you doing Zach?" My voice was shaking, at first I thought my body was as well but then I realized it was Zach who was shaking.

"You really don't know?" Ever word he spoke sent a new tremor through my system.

"N-no." I stated as firmly as I could manage.

With a sigh he lowered his lips from my ear and rotated his head so his forehead was gently resting against my cheek. "Lorren," he breathed sounding a bit dazed himself, "always denying everything that scares you, scared of everything anyway. You let your brain do too much of your thinking, you know?"

"You don't let it do enough of your thinking. Zach, please, think about what you're doing!" I begged in a whisper. "It's wrong, it's an abomination, it can't be! When the sun was up you longed for Adriane and now that's it's out of sight, along with her, it's…" I found myself unable to complete that sentence. "It's only your pain thinking for you-"

"Ah, so you're not as clueless as you keep playing you are?" he paused a moment as if waiting for me to rebuke before continuing. "Lorren, I can't even begin to pretend that I have any clue what the life of the high class and royal is like, I was raised by mistwolves, and I'm damn proud! What they taught me is that sometimes you just have to go with things, don't fight or deny or hide, just…do and accept."

"Are you telling me there is male dogs among your pack that mate with one another?" I shot back.

He laughed and his breath burned my neck. "No, actually I've never even heard of it. Who said we were mating though? I didn't know that was an option." My blood boiled beneath my skin as my mind jumped instantly and tragically to the thought of it. Had the notion been brought up hardly an hour before I would have shuddered at the disturbing thought but now, with him so close to me and awakening so many unwanted and completely sinful feelings in me, I still shuddered but for different reasons. We couldn't though. I could never meet with Zach in such a way; the sheer embarrassment of my body compared alongside his would be enough to kill me. Zach was well toned and rugged, not obnoxiously large but I knew he was armored in wolf-like muscle all over. While I was just an apt a fighter, I was built for speed and stealth, not force. My own body was skinny and awkwardly lanky, covered in thin wiry muscle. It was in the middle of this thought (which lasted for hardly a second) that I knew my denial was in vain. If the first thought that sprang to my mind as to why I couldn't be the consort of my best-same-gendered-friend was because I wasn't good looking enough for him, I had already lost my will over my body.

"What I meant was," he continued through my internal battle "I act upon what I feel. And…this is what I feel."

"How?" I cried desperately "How can you possibly even begin to feel that this could be right in anyway? How can you have feelings for me, of any sort? It's not right, it's wrong, it's-"

"Yes, you already said all that." He assured with what I could clearly picture was an amused smile on his face.

"But how can you-" my words were cut short as he released my left shoulder and pressed his fingers over my lips. Slowly he released my other shoulder and pulled back from me. I suddenly felt freezing without his warmth pressed against me, goose bumps rising on my arms. Soon we weren't touching at all except for his hand at my mouth, and then cautiously he lowered his hand as well.

I could now see all of him once again. His hair fell across his dazzling blue eyes once again, hiding half of his face but I could see the fear, the excitement and the same adoration and tenderness there had been before clearly across his features. "Lorren, I never would have done this if I hadn't thought we had a chance, if I hadn't thought you didn't want this too, and you can deny all you like but I know you do." He glared at me defiantly but still with kindness "Please Lorren," his eyes widened and I found myself thinking of how cute he looked, pleading for all he had to me to accept his ludicrous suit. I had never had such thoughts for another boy, only for girls and there was certainly nothing feminine about Zach. "Please, listen to me. Listen to me and let yourself go, listen to your heart for once in your life. Don't stop to analyze everything, just do it, please." His final plea cut me deep. He looked at me so pleading and desperately I found it difficult to ever deny him anything ever again.

I began to think, my brain beginning to spin the way it always did when I began looking for a way out, a way to make a safe exit with as little confrontation as possible. His eyes bored into me like he could see the gears grinding in my skull and I cleared my head. I abandoned all reason and let my emotions boil over. My body burned and as my thoughts and control edged away, the raw desire in myself startled me. Something deep in my chest snarled inside me. Quickly this new beast buried all remaining evidence that my mind had ever had control over my body and surged forward. It ached. All over there was this pain and need, I'd felt it before with Kara, but never had I let it go so far.

All I saw before me was him, sitting uncertainly on his knees, watching me intently as if I was that person of great importance again. I could feel the shadow of his lips against my ear and my fingers, and his fingers against my lips in turn, and that was all I wanted to feel. A fire was raging inside of me and yet I was still freezing from his absence, he was only a few inches away and that was by far too much.

Before I had time to think about the consequences I leaned in towards him and closed my eyes. I felt his breath before his lips. They were every bit as soft and full against my thin lips as they had been against my hand. My heart pounded hard in my chest and for a moment I couldn't quite convince myself that this was real, that I was really kissing Zach, but the warm pressure against my mouth was impossible to deny. My hands tightened on my grip on the chair and I could feel him doing the same. As forward and as absolutely strange and new as this all was, the only parts of us that we allowed to touch were our lips and where ours noses brushed against one another. Briefly my mind broke out from under the chaos of my pernicious desires and I wondered what was going on in Zach's mind right now, did he like kissing me as much as I liked kissing him? He was a great kisser, only kindling to the fire still raging up inside me and driving me insane. However, what did he think of me? He had initiated this action from me and now could he be regretting it?

Hesitantly and regretfully I removed my lips from his kiss and tried to ignore the sudden ache of longing that passed through me as we parted. "Za-" My plea turned to an unexpected groan as he bit down on my bottom lip, pulling back gently to draw me back into him. His laugh coupled with his risqué move pushed me to the breaking point. Forgetting everything, leaving the whole world behind me I let go of my safe hold in the chair and ran my hands through his messy blonde hair, relishing in the feel of it slipping through my fingers. My arms were pressed against his warm body and I couldn't imagine ever wanting to let go. And then his arms were around my back and waist, pulling us together until we were closer even than before. Close as we suddenly were, it still wasn't enough. I was insatiable in this new found lust for my friend.

I pulled his face closer, crushing us against one another. No longer did anything hold me back. My blood was running hot through my veins, fueled by my racing heart. All I could think about was Zach; the way his sunlit hair flopped over his liquid blue eyes; that lopsided sympathetic smile he gave me whenever I was worrying about something he thought was stupid; the look of determination and brute force he held whenever we were sword fighting; his perfectly carved chest muscles that I had always been envious of but now was looking at in an entirely different light; and most of all the way he felt against me at that moment. Delicately I slid my tongue in-between his parted lips, touching his own. His breath shuddered in surprise and excitement as he met me for equal vigor, forcing his way into my mouth in turn.

Spreading my fingers and then closing them again I took a fistful of his hair and squeezed, tugging until he broke us apart to give a short exclamation of pain. Instantly missing the feel of his mouth but wanting to explore further I moved to his throat, pulling gently at pieces of skin with my lips. "Didn't-Didn't know you were into that kind of thing Lorren." His words were thick as if he was struggling to form them at all.

Moving upward I found his ear. "Neither did I" Taking his lobe between my lips I flicked my tongue against it, earning a well received moan. Featherlike I felt his hands slid between us and creep alluringly up my chest, lingering here and there. With a shudder I moved back to his mouth, continuing our previous oral gratification. Then it all came crashing down.

Suddenly and without warning we were falling. We came down hard and painfully, still entangled in one another which softened some blows and intensified others. Sickly I tasted the salt of my own blood in my mouth where teeth had come down on my tongue, though as to whose teeth it had been, I wasn't sure. Zach groaned with his eyes closed tight in pain.

"You alright?" I asked hesitantly, wincing as he moved his leg and it brushed against a particularly sore spot along my shin.

"Yeah I think so." Sitting up he ran a hand through his hair and clutched the side of his head where it had collided with the hard wooden floor. We both looked glassy eyed back at the chair, still trying to figure out what had happened.

"Guess we fell…" I commented stupidly and he made a short noise of agreement. A tentative breeze wafted through the room and I shivered the wind icy against my chest. With a start I realized that my shirt was hanging open around my exposed torso, it had been unbuttoned.

Questioningly, I looked back at Zach who was staring back at me as well, a deep crimson illuminating his handsome face. His chest was heaving with breath and his sleeves were damp with sweat, I found myself to be in much the same situation. He shrugged awkwardly "I…um…" he grappled for an excuse but I looked away, sparing him.

"That was…something." He tried after a moment of silence. I nodded.

"Yeah…something." Our legs were still entangled but neither of us made a move to do anything about it.

"Do you…do you regret it?" he asked. I looked from the floor to him. His gaze was intended to be casual, like he didn't care about my answer but I saw the anxiety and longing in his eyes. With a wry smile I leaned over to him, throwing all of my weight into my left arm so as to press our lips together once more in a short but passionate kiss, so as to let him know I regretted nothing. When I pulled back I saw the look of shock and shyness that humbled his features and my smile grew, it was nice to have a change of positions, for me to be the confident one and him the one in need of reassurance.

"God, you're sexy, Lorren." He whispered, almost in awe. My cocky confidence crumbled to pieces in an instant, my face burning with the excess blood flow. His face was brighter then ever and there was a look of humiliated horror on his face for a moment, like he hadn't meant to say that aloud and I doubted he had. I quickly tried to wipe the look of unbridled shock from my face before I made him even more uncomfortable but it was difficult; me, sexy? I couldn't believe it. It was strange in a way, how we had met each other in a way that was considered appallingly inappropriate for two boys and yet it was speaking of it out loud that embarrassed us the most. "I…" he stuttered searching again for an explanation I knew he couldn't supply.

"Not exactly how I would describe myself." I gulped with a smile, looking off into the little cabin so I didn't have to meet his eyes.

He snorted and I could almost feel him roll his eyes. "Of course you wouldn't…" I couldn't help but smile at his mocking when I looked back to him, half of his face illuminated pale white by the moon, the other half almost completely black. "But I would." Our lips met again, a bit fiercer and hungrier then before. His hands were back on my shoulders, holding me steady as he closed the distance between our bodies, instantly erasing the chill on my exposed chest. In that glorious feeling of mental anesthetization, letting go of all that held me back, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down on top of me.

His movements with the rest of his body meant nothing to me at first and then my gut twisted and my body went rigid as I felt his knees on either side of my hips; he was straddling me. A soft sigh escaped him as I drew the breath from both of our mouths at once with my gasp of shock. Relentless in his risqué escapades his hands moved down from my shoulders to the base of my neck, causing a moment of instinctual panic for me at the feeling of fingers laced round my throat, before continuing on. Burning fingers slid under the fabric of my shirt and traced teasingly along my cool skin. I briefly closed my lips to his in order to suppress an unwanted whimper of submission. My plight didn't escape Zach however as his touches became even more airy and his kisses lighter, realizing what effect it had on me. My lip quivered but I refused to give him any more pleasure in this teasing of me.

Zach's fingertips traced back upwards, slowly adding more pressure to the muscle on my shoulder, grasping them firmly only this time his hands were between me and my shirt. With a harsh jerk he clasped his hands around my arms, causing another gasp from me, giving him way to explore further into my mouth. It was a dirty trick. He continued up my shoulders and somewhere along the line I dropped my hands from his hair. From there I lost track for a moment of what he was doing, I was a bit preoccupied with my mouth at the moment, until he released me entirely. Sitting up straight he gave me a pleased and questioning glance. Confused I tried to sit up as well, trying to ignore how perfectly aligned we were when he sat back on his knees like that, but found it more difficult than I would have originally thought.

I was in a bit of a daze I looked down at myself to see that I was now completely bare-chested, my shirt having been removed almost entirely. Somewhere in the midst of my state of distractedness he had slid my shirt down my arms to my wrists, binding my hands behind my back. They weren't real bonds of course, I could easily slide out of my new shackles but the concept made my face burn yet again and I felt that antagonizing pull tighten. Symbolically I was his now, to do with whatever he pleased. A rush of fear and sinful excitement rushed over me at the thought of that. What exactly was it that he planned on doing with me this night? What exactly did I want him to do? My head spun, unsure of the answer. It was all happening so fast, and it was so…wrong, absolutely, and inarguably wrong. I would rather my parents have found out about everything I had done as the Forest Prince then they know one moment of what had transpired between Zach and I since the sun had set. Yet, I didn't know how I could turn him away, how I could say no when I suddenly felt the same deranged feelings for him that he claimed to feel for me.

It took a few moments for me to work up the courage to meet his eyes once more and when I did I saw my own emotions reflected on his face. I saw the same yearning and desire, fogged over by the same doubt, worry and fear, and of course pain. We had both been in love before this, and both of us had our hearts tragically ripped out and stomped on. Love had brought both of us nothing but pain before. However, I quickly reminded myself that this was not love. Whatever this twisted new found relationship Zach and I had established, it was not based on love; perhaps on the thought of love, for gratification of the horrors of our past relationships, but not on love for each other.

I raised my eyebrow questioningly before reclining back down, feeling my spine unfurl my body along the cool wooden floor. With a calming breath I closed my eyes as his hands slid up my sides, pushing down the urge to shiver. I gasped as I felt his lips cool against my navel. "Zach" I exclaimed (though it came out more as a whisper then I had intended) at his bluntness in the situation. My fists clenched at my sides, suddenly realizing what was so kinky about being bound. It was torturous to feel him so close to me and not be able to react; to have him touch me however he wanted and I was denied the privilege of touching him back to ease my own desires, they were left to build and fight amongst themselves.

As he traveled with antagonizing slowness downward my knee lifted of its own accord, trying to stop my whole body from shaking with a mix of pleasure and pain at the tension building inside me. He paused a moment and drew a breath as my leg rested against the inside of his left thigh. The tip of his nose ran a straight line from my navel to my waistline, pausing again at the fabric. Another kiss brushed my skin and I bit my lip to keep from doing anything needlessly. Obviously displeased with my lack of response he drew his hands to the sides of my abdomen, running his fingers down my hips and the outside of my thighs. With a shudder I refrained from making any sound. Tauntingly his palms traversed across the plains of my legs to the inside. Blood trickled perversely across my tongue where my teeth had punctured my lip. Tantalizingly he slid his hands once more along my legs, moving upward this time and pausing just before he completely drew us into the point of no return. My fingers clawed silently at the floor, my arms shook and my breath tore down my throat in ragged gasps that I did my best to silence but I did not make any vocal sound.

I pretended I didn't see him lift his head to study my face and kept my eyes locked firmly on the branches intertwining above our heads so tightly that not a beam of moonlight seeped through. "What?" he asked sweetly, a smirk in the undertone of his voice. Blood flowed quicker through my mouth as I tightened the vice on my lip and narrowed my eyes at his nerve. I wasn't sure when this new game of ours had started, me pretending that what he did didn't please me when it was quite obvious it did, the evidence being right before him, and if it didn't I would have simply fought him off, but it seemed of the utmost importance not to give in this twisted new game of ours.

"Come on Lorren…" he taunted mercilessly, his thumbs caressing the inside of my legs. I quivered but didn't give in. Once again I felt his mouth on my abdomen, nuzzling into my stomach and making my whole body go rigid, willing him to whatever it was he wanted. I felt a streak of moisture along my waistline as his tongue flicked across my skin, finally drawing a broken moan from my lips out of shock. My arms strained harder against the fabric of my shirt. With a short laugh that sounded like he was out of breath he nuzzled back into me. Closing my eyes I tried to memorize exactly how his skin felt against mine, how devilishly good it felt and the eerily calm it brought me, save for his hands still on my legs, threatening to move northward, bounding me to my elated state. With a new determination brightening his eyes he looked back to me again and then he thrust his hands forward.

There was nothing I could do to hold myself back anymore. My entire body reacted involuntarily to his sudden action. At once my leg wrapped around his, my head fell back, straining my neck and my back arched high off the floor. Much as I tried to fight there was no will left in my body as my hips tilted up into his palms and my arms tore violently at my shirt, thrashing to be released and do something, anything in return. Most predominate of all though, a scream tore through my throat releasing the pressure on my drained lip, and broke the near silence of the night. His name flowed in among my cry, I screamed it, I moaned it, I groaned it, I begged it, I pleaded it and I whimpered it, leaving all dignity behind me in my hyper-charged state.

I felt him move up my body again, tracing one hand across the wiry lines of muscle covering my torso, his face hovering just above my skin, and leaving his other hand where it was. I was lost to a world in myself, where all I could think of was Zach and the pressure he was applying with his right hand. It was horrible and wonderful at the same time, he was still teasing me. His hand just lay where it was as casually as could be but I could feel him shaking with the same desires as me. In complete abandon I called his name again as his lips, tongue and teeth made their way across my neck. All I could do in return was give him more access to my body, I stretched my neck and relaxed into his left hand where it ran through my hair. My leg rubbed against his as he relaxed fully on top of me, his chest pushing the wind out of my own and our hearts pounding wildly against our rib cages.

Another urge overwhelmed me and I tried to force it back under my control but I knew it was futile, I could control nothing of my sick wants anymore. Before I could fully contemplate what I was about to do I thrust my hips upward into his hand. What little blood was left in my body migrated quickly to my face as I tried not to face the humiliation of what I had just done.

He moaned my name loud and low at my actions, pausing in his escapades across my neck to shudder. A new thrill flew through my body to hear him say my name that way, with so much passion and ecstasy. "Told ya you were sexy…" His words were breathless and rough. My breath shuddered in a laugh, turning my face into his hair as he kissed my shoulder, taking in his rough and redolent scent. Again he moved, this time blocking my view of the ceiling and instead filling it with himself. Despite my whimper of hedonistic protest he drew his other hand up to my abdomen.

His lips were back on mine, as light as ever, hesitant even, as if he was (quite hypocritically, I might add) afraid to do much more. The rough fabric of his shirt brushed my skin as he crouched low over me. Gently his lips trailed away from mine and across the rest of my face, brushing my cheeks, forehead and nose with sickeningly sweet kisses. I opened my eyes in confusion and realized my mistake all too late.

His cerulean eyes burned into mine, tender and pleading, though pleading for what I had no idea. I lay before him, bound by my symbolic chains, agreeing to let him do with me what he will without complaint and yet he still seemed to be asking me for something. All of my concentration was thrown into meeting his gaze and trying to decipher what it was he could possibly ask me for after all of this and I did my best not to fidget in my anxiety in the situation. Didn't he realize that the longer he waited like this the more I was loosing my nerve? That wild hormonal instinct inside of me was slowly fading the longer he stared at me like that and the more my logical standpoint was fighting to get through to my brain, but it wasn't prevailing. The licentious nature that had taken over with his touches wasn't to be denied to easily and I wanted him to continue with his actions, no matter how insalubrious.

"What?" I snarled, surprising even myself with my brusque behavior. His facial expressions contorted ever so slightly as he acknowledged that I truly didn't know; he looked a bit crestfallen.

"You really don't know?" The rustling of the branches was louder then his desperate question. I moved my head a centimeter to each side in defeat. With a suffering sigh he leaned in and kissed me again. At first I still didn't understand and I moved my lips against his as I had before. He didn't make use of his teeth or tongue but still this kiss seemed more onerous then the others had, like he was trying to convey something I wasn't getting and honestly wasn't very keen to anyhow. I don't know when his point finally reached me, when I understood what he meant and what he wanted but it hit me hard. It felt like my heart, which had been supplying me with enough blood to run a marathon, had stilled and my blazing blood was now chilling me.

"Zach," I broke apart and stared him straight in the eye, searching for any sign that my thoughts were spurious and we could get back to where we were but as I had suspected, they weren't. I could feel my eyes wide and my mouth slightly agape but I found there was nothing I could do for either. Lowering myself to the floor I closed my eyes tightly, shying away from him as much as possible. "Zach," I repeated over and over in hopeless misery. "I...can't."

"Why not?" he demanded "Why could you do what you were about to do and deny me this?"

I would become a hedonist for tonight with him. I was prepared to let him do whatever he wanted, not only that but I wanted him to. There were no physical barriers between us and I hadn't cared. "I lay down, bound and half stripped before you and you ask me for more?" I snapped back, just as annoyed as he was now. I knew that my words made me sound like a true hedonist but I didn't care. I had kissed him and touched him and he had kissed and touched me in the dark, I was ready for so much more and had known how wrong it was but compared to what he was now asking, kissing, touching and even sex were all innocuous activities.

"Yes Lorren." He insisted and kissed me again, forcing his lips against mine as gently as he could even though I fought back this time. Defeated he pulled back and looked at me, misery dripping from him. "Lorren…It's just me, your best mate, remember?" his smile was broken, repeating the line he always told me when I got angry or upset with me.

"That's what scares me." I whispered back. "Can't you see that?"

He leaned in close to my ear again, his breath hot on my face. "Don't be scared, I love you." An involuntarily shake ripped through me again and I shook my head in denial. My heart slammed against my chest at his words but I didn't contemplate further.

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

Our arguments seemed useless against one another, each as desperate as the other to posit our case and convince the other. "Why?" he demanded "How can you love her and not me?"

"Because it can work between Kara and me! What can we ever be Zach? One night together that no one will ever know about, that's all we can have!"

Visibly frustrated he sat up again, running his hands through his hair, his face pallid in the moonlight. "She doesn't love you, Lorren, I do. That's why! Who cares what anyone else thinks?"

"I am a prince damn it!" I retorted, sitting up as well so we were face to face again, he didn't move off of me, "I can't just pull a move like this as frivolously as you can! I have a kingdom to run, people to govern and a reputation to uphold. I never asked for it and I hardly ever wanted it but it is my lot and I have to deal with that." I told him firmly and fiercely. "And who ever heard of a kingdom with two kings and consorts of each other no less!" I shook my head.

"So what if you weren't a prince?"

"What?"

"If your class was the same as mine, if you had nothing so…grand as to live up to, what would you say to me then?" he was humble and tentative in his questioning.

"I…I can't possibly…I mean, it doesn't matter does it? Because I am."

Zach paused a moment to look at me and then he looked away, looking callow and even a little ashamed of himself. "Do you think I don't remember that you are royalty? I think about it every time I'm with you and especially now. I know how much lower I am then you and how I must seem in your eyes…that I don't deserve you, but if you weren't. If for just right here and right now, when you were with me, you weren't a prince of anything except…me? What would you say then, Lorren?" I gaped at him openly, at a complete loss for words.

I was embarrassed, honored, flattered and ashamed at his words all at once. "Zach I have never looked down on you." I told him flatly for it was the truth, how could he have ever thought I did? How could he possibly be fearful of what I would think of him? When I questioned him incredulously he stared at me in shock.

"You're the one who said it, you're a prince. Do you truly realize what that means to the rest of us? That you're…that you're above me." He looked away, trying not to look as embarrassed as I could see he was.

I shook my head. "That doesn't mean anything Zach. It's just what I was born as, it could have easily been you and our positions would have been reversed. I'm not better then you Zach, not by any means possible. I've never thought less of you because you're not of royal blood, never once and you shouldn't think about it either." I told him firmly.

He smiled warmly and a bit sadly at me. "It's hard not to." His hand caressed my cheek and I leaned into it, meeting his eyes calmly. "You're so obviously royal Lorren. Even as the Forest Prince, no one ever doubts that you truly are a prince." At a nonplussed look from me he elaborated. "It's everything about you. The way you walk and hold yourself, all tall and dignified, your battle moves are polished and precise, and half the time when you talk I have no idea what you're saying. You're so smart and dignified in general, like you've always got a plan or are coming up with a new one. You're sophisticated and civilized and yet you blend in the fairy underground as well as anyone else." Another pause as he stroked my cheek again. "And then there's just…you. You're enough to make any guy jealous and any girl, and being the freak I guess I am, me, sweat." I started at his confessions. I had never heard myself spoken about in such a way, even by Kara.

Embarrassed I tried to look away but he brought my face back. "I'm nothing special Zach." I assured him, both hating and loving that awed expression he was surveying me with again.

He shook his head slowly, the moon flashing across his sparkling eyes. "You are." He ran his fingers across my face and I could see him trying to gain the confidence it took to voice what he wanted to.

"What?" I coaxed gently, desperately wanted to hear what he thought of me, embarrassed by his confessions but hanging on every word just the same.

"Everything about you…You're face, it's flawless, the face of a prince." He laughed "I told you, you fit the part." His face was tinted crimson again as he gulped and tried to continue with telling me what he thought of my body and mentally I willed him as hard as I could to continue. His fingers traced up my jaw line and across my ear into my hair. "Your hair, your skin; everything about you is clean and…dignified." He paused again looking uncomfortable as if suddenly remembering how many times he had used the word 'dignified' to describe my attributes but I smiled as encouragingly as I could to tell him I didn't mind. Zach leaned in with a frivolous grin of his own before hesitating and pulling back as if thinking better of it. "Your smile." His words didn't make much sense without an elaboration but I took it as a complement of my smile and accepted it silently.

With a courageous intake of breath he lowered his gaze from my face. Lifting his hand out of my hair he ran the back of it down my chest, leaving my muscles tightened where ever he brushed the skin. "And your body…"

"I'm not one to be compared alongside you." I cut him off as steadily as I could "You have twice the body and muscle I do."

He nodded absently, still admiring my exposed chest in a way that made me feel flattered and yet uncomfortable at the same time. "I know I may have more muscle than you, but you were built for fighting, I was made." I squinted my eyes and raised an eyebrow "What I mean is, I got my muscle from working to stay alive, you were trained and taught how to fight, giving you yours."

"Are you insinuating that I don't work hard?"

"No-no-no-no-no-no," he shook his head, back tracking quickly "that's not what I meant at all. Just…we were raised differently." I nodded and he seemed relieved. Sighing he lowered his gaze even more, not looking at any part of me anymore, "Who am I before a prince? Not even a peasant, half-wild and raised by wolves, covered in dirty, worn clothes and scarred from head to toe." I had never heard him so self-conscious, I didn't like it. Zach was the rock of our group, never fazed or deterred from the point of our mission, whatever it may be that day, to hear him like this bothered me. Never was I ever any good at mending hurt feelings or weakening prides but it seemed that Zach's whole self image rested on what I said in response to his negativity.

"No you're not Zach." I tried to ignore the fact that I sounded so callow and continued as best I could without making a fool of myself. His narrowed eye roll told me I wasn't doing a very good job. "I mean it. You're the time mage, the first dragon rider in Aldenmore for centuries and you're one of the most important people in the fight against the Dark Sorceress." I stared him straight in the eye and tried not to display any emotion when I told him something that had been haunting me since this war had started "I'm disposable, Zach, this war could be won without me. It would be awful for goblin moral but if I were to die, they would heal and one day there would be a new prince or princess, but I don't think we'd stand a chance without all five mages."

His eyes widened at my statement and he leaned in close, his hands resuming their place at my sides. "I won't let you die, I promise you that."

"It's a war Zach, you can't promise that to anyone. Also if it comes down to it, Marlin and I have to be the first to go. We need all five mages alive." The look of horror on his face was enough for me to break our gaze first.

"You can't mean that. That you intend on-on dying if you think it will keep us safe?" His uncharacteristic stutter made me flinch.

"Wouldn't you?"

"Well of course! But I just…" He trailed off and ran a hand through his hair and I knew what he wanted to say. He had never given it any real thought. I had no doubt that he would die for any of us, but he had never truly weighed the value of his actions.

"Marlin and I have already discussed it." I couldn't help but spare a glance at his nonplussed face. His eyebrows were hidden in his sandy hair and his jaw was hanging on its hinge in shock.

Without shame he closed the distance between us again and whispered defiantly "I love you Lorren and I'm not going to let you die. I don't care what you say." Agitated, I rolled my shoulder to get him off, ignoring the twinge of guilt at his hurt look.

"You're not taking in any of this Zach!" I snapped angrily.

"Neither are you!" he retorted, "You completely got me off topic," Shaking his head dramatically as if he could push away the conversation we just had "and you never answered my question!"

"What question?"

"If you weren't a prince, then what would you say to me tonight?" The earnest compassion in his voice pulled at me for a moment before I regained myself.

In frustration I bit the inside of my cheek. "It doesn't matter, because I am."

With an annoyed groan of his own Zach pulled back and ran his hands through his hair in an attractive sort of way that momentarily left my mind blank. "That's not what I asked!" he snarled, snapping me back to the situation at hand. My own sick plight was beginning to make me queasy. "I asked if you weren't. If you had nothing to live up to and no expectations, what would you say?"

Uneasily I shifted under his harsh gaze. "I…I don't know…It's beside the point."

"No it's not! It's just us Lorren, no one would ever know. Just for right now, can you not be a prince?"

"I…" he cut off my stammering with another kiss. I tried feebly to pull away but he wouldn't have it and I gave in. His mouth moved against mine in what can only be described as desperation, pleading with me in another way. Hesitantly we broke apart, neither meeting the other's eye. Sighing heavily I kowtowed. "I suppose I could. I suppose…" with swallowed hard and closed my eyes, feeling woozy at the thought of what I was about to say "I suppose we could."

Hardly a second passed between the time that I spoke the words and his lips captured mine again vigorously. Rough hands snaked through my hair and down my neck and spine, pulling me closer. "You won't regret it Lorren. I promise." He whispered in-between his actions. Sighing, I highly doubted his words; no matter how sincere he thought he was.

As his lips grazed my ear I remained as impassive as possible. "How long?"

He paused "What?"

"How long have you wanted to do this?" I had had the inkling of his intentions in the farthest regions of my mind since this queer night had begun and now that my acuity was up to normal levels I could fully piece together the conclusion. For an embarrassing moment I considered all the times we had been together, wondering if in the middle of our friendly fights and talks and laughs, if he hadn't been holding a secret flame for me all along. My mind instantly leapt to when I had been exposed before him and I realized with a jolt that I had been naked in front of him before. I hadn't thought about it once then. When we were on a mission out in the middle of Aldenmore, it was common to be stuck in the wilds for days and eventually you had to bathe or kill one of your comrades with your odor. Of course I had glanced inconspicuously in his direction once or twice, not out of sexual intentions but out of envy. Had he glanced at me as well, but for an entirely different reason?

I could hear him swallow in anxiety as he ruminated over my question, knowing that denying anything was useless. "I…I don't really know." His semblance was that of shame and he looked so lost as he gazed up at the shifting moon that I had to lend him some sort of support. In the gentlest move I had made that evening I leaned in a brushed my lips over his cheek in encouragement. A smile worked its way across his twitching mouth and his arms closed tight around me again. "When I knew that it was hopeless with Adriane I thought…I don't know, but I thought my life was over. It hurt so much…I guess that was a few months ago. I knew what Kara had been doing to you, and I knew you knew because Adriane had told you and you have denied it but it was obvious. You had dealt with it, with denial, but you had dealt with it and survived and so I started watching you and paying you more attention. Following by your example I suppose."

"That wasn't a very smart thing to do." I informed him.

He laughed "Maybe not, but it helped." Those ridiculously blue eyes gazed at me tenderly and appreciatively. "I don't really know how it happened but overtime, I guess, you kind of started to replace her in my heart." He smiled sheepishly like he was afraid he had done something wrong and was apologizing. "At first I thought it was just because I was so upset over her that I was losing it and going after you instead because you were my other best friend but…I can't really explain it but I knew it wasn't like that. I knew I had fallen in love with you." I couldn't help but flinch, getting ready to tell him to stop saying that but he beat me to it. "I'm not going to stop saying it Lorren, if only to see that look on your face." He smiled smugly as I gritted my teeth. Suddenly his face became somber again. "I was really scared at first; I didn't know what to do. Every time I was near you I was afraid it would be obvious and everyone would know." The corner of his lips rose in a half smile "I never once thought you'd ever…want to be with me too." I snorted and he just smiled. "So why did you?"

"Huh?"

"Why did you...'agree' to this?" he asked slyly.

That was a question to ponder over. Why had I done this? Why had I succumbed so easily to his advances if I hadn't already been more inclined to the male sex before this all began? The answer was inevitable and even I, the ultimate king of denial, couldn't deny, that I must have had sexual feelings towards my own gender before Zach had even became an option. It was strange; perhaps I had been stuck between having feeling for both genders but had been so good at denial and falsehood that what had truly been the beginning of romantic feelings I had put off as friendly admiration and mild curiosity. The thought of actually being with another boy had been unheard of in my mind and I had never even once considered it, now that I had I realized with a sickening jolt that quiet possibly my entire life needed reexamining. My head hurt.

With my new migraine inducing epiphany I pressed my forehead against Zach's awaiting shoulder with a sigh. "I don't know. My life is just one twisted joke after another…"

"This is not twisted Lorren." He sounded highly annoyed with my conclusion.

"Oh but it is." I retorted mockingly "It's sick and twisted."

"It is not." He demanded anyway. "How do you feel when you're with me?" I almost responded 'sick' but thought briefly that that might hurt his feelings and instead didn't answer right away. "I mean aside from thinking about what anybody else would say." He specified.

"Well…I like being with you." I admitted a little abashed.

"And I like being with you." he leaned in a kissed my nose in such a disgustingly sweet way that I could hardly help the grimace that crossed my face. Far from being put off he laughed heartily at my dismay and kissed me again. "What could possibly be wrong with this?" I chose not to ruin the moment by responding.

"Can I get out of this now?" I asked finally, pulling away a little to show him where my shirt still bound my wrists behind my back "I'm starting to feel a little ridiculous trying to have a serious conversation without a shirt on and my hands tied…" I began to pull at the bonds but Zach grabbed my wrists to stop them from struggling. A wickedly sensual grin crossed his face and he raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

"Who said I was done with you?" With that he forced our lips together again and heaved his weight against my body, forcing me back down with him fully on top. Instinctively I tried to raise my arms to encircle his body but the shirt held tight. It was just awkward now, kissing him with my arms pinned to my sides and I struggled to pull myself free. During my struggle I thought I heard a slight rustling of Okawa's branches but put it off as the wind, though had my mind not been so occupied I would have noticed there was no wind.

Zach's hands explored across my chest and abdomen; running his fingertips along the lines of my ribs and muscles. Soon they were entangled in my hair once more, caressing and pulling. Our mouths opened to one another for a brief moment before he pulled my head to the side and worked his mouth across my neck and I realized I had lost track of how many times we had done this. How long had we been here together? My thoughts were nebulous and vague, like sparks of a dying fire flying across my vision, my mind racing to keep up with them with the sudden rush of hormones pounding through my system. I groaned his name as he found a particularly tender spot just below my ear.

My thoughts became too cloudy and hard to gather and so I let them slip away, thinking of nothing except Zach and his amazing lips when a murmuring fluttered through my pounding ears. Lazily I lifted my eyelids a fraction of an inch and scanned the room indifferently for what had made the noise and my eyes fell on an inhabitant that hadn't been there a minute before. My heart slammed painfully against my chest harder then ever before and a sweat broke across my brow as more adrenaline then all of the night's events put together raged through me. My eyes were quick to take in every detail of the brown eyes, wide in unbridled shock and disbelief; green mouth hanging agape as he grasped for speech and the rigid body, horrified at what he was seeing. The world was sent spinning as pure terror seized me.

There wasn't a phrase or a word strong enough for me to exclaim that would relieve any tension or even begin to describe how awful this had become. With far too many horrible thoughts waging war for a place in my mind I tore desperately at my shirt and quickly untangled my legs from Zach's, and from his groan of pain I assumed I had perhaps lifted my leg a little too fast. Shouldering him off of me I drew myself uneasily to my feet and tried even harder to free myself which proved to be a much more difficult task then I had thought. "What are you doing?" Zach demanded in pain from somewhere on the floor. Even more unfortunately for my ever calamitous life was my ill-fated height and long legs, which came in handy when running but not so much when trying to gain my balance without arms and a nefariously placed ottoman just behind my legs.

"Shit" I fell backwards over the damned ottoman and landed hard on my back, my right leg still bent over the cursed piece of furniture. I closed my eyes tight and snarled at the aforementioned twisted joke of a life I lived.

"What…What are you…?" Marlin stuttered, unable to form a sentence.

"What are we doing? Well I'm not exactly sure what it is Lorren is doing at this exact moment but a minute ago we were discussing our relationship troubles." Zach muttered, seeming a bit more composed.

Briefly I wondered if Zach's smug levity was as annoying to Marlin as it was to me but I knew instantly that was impossible. I was going to tare Zach apart. Sitting up turned out to be a painful task, I must have had hit something harder then I had thought when I had fallen like an ungainly tree to the wooden floor. With a grunt of effort I lifted myself to my rightful position and once again tried to free myself of my ever annoying restrictions. After a moment of frantic and almost panicky moment I had my shirt half on with the other side twisted so tight around my arm I was beginning to lose circulation. Another moment of floundering and I had it on right only with the front hanging open.

Clutching it closed I faced Marlin, trying not to imagine what I must look like and began my interrogation. "What did you see?"

The merprince stood looking a bit nauseas in the entranceway with a look of disbelief still plastered across his paling face. "I…I don't…Oh God what were you…how…why…WHAT?" he finally exploded, unable to comprehend what had been going on and I could hardly blame him but I was far too gone in panic mode to pause in sympathy for my friend.

I crossed the distance between us in three strides and stood towering over him. "What did you see?" I demanded even more ferociously then before. He looked up at me still in shock and looking almost as shaky as I was.

"I don't…" he trailed off and I grasped the front of his shirt in my fist, fully prepared to make him understand full well that he saw nothing and he was to tell everyone that he saw nothing when Zach grasped my arms harshly.

"Easy Lorren!" he cried and I could see the panic in his eyes, he was losing his cool composure as well. For a shaky moment we stood locked like that, me grasping Marlin, he trying to hold me off and Zach trying to pull me away. Still shaking I released the flabbergasted Marlin and ran my hands through my hair in a futile effort to try and pacify myself. Collapsing into the accursed chair I buried my face in my hands.

"Oh, GOD!" I moaned.

"Lorren," Zach's desperate plea was close to my ear and his hand came down on my shoulder "Lorren, it'll be OK, it's gonna be alright!"

"Get off me Zach!" I hissed back without looking up.

With almost panicky haste he grabbed my hand in both of his, forcing me to look up into his shaking blue eyes. "Please Lorren, don't be mad…"

"DON'T BE MAD?" My voice had raised a few levels and I was now yelling. "How can I not be mad right now? Do you understand what will happen if anyone finds out about this? I'll be ruined! I'll be disowned, lose my crown! There is no end to the calamities this information will cause!" I lorded over him; he was shaking to my degree by now, panic in his moist eyes.

"I'm sorry, Lorren." He whispered, averting his eyes. "But you have to calm down." His voice was a little stronger as he tried to reinforce his statement.

With a frustrated growl I turned away from him. "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at me." I admitted "That I was so stupid!" The world was still spinning and I was finding it difficult to inhale. My world was falling apart around me.

"Stop saying that!"

"It's true!" I objected, not baring to look at him until I could calm down but that didn't seem to be happening anytime soon.

Zach began to say something else but he was cut off. "STOP!" We both turned to Marlin with a start. He still looked weary and pale but a little more collected then when I had been about to strangle him. "OK," he took a deep breath "I have NO idea what on Aldenmore you were doing and I don't want to know. Just…I didn't see anything alright? Can we all live with that? I didn't see anything; I don't know anything…nothing!" His eyes were wide as if he was trying to convince himself more then us.

I nodded slowly "Alright, nothing happened." I looked directly at Zach "NOTHING happened." I annunciated. Hurt flashed across his features.

"Lorren-"

"So what did you come up here for?" I ignored him and addressed Marlin instead.

"I…oh!" he started as if suddenly remembering that there had been a pervious motive before he had walked in on us. "Yeah, the girls have to go home and I was supposed to come get you guys to walk back to the portal with them. I could…I could tell them you're busy I guess…" he trailed off awkwardly.

"No we're going." I started towards the ladder but Zach grabbed my hand.

"Lorren," he sounded so small and lost it was hard not to turn around and tell him it would all be alright, that we would be alright, but I resisted and pulled away. Marlin stood between me and the exit. I paused, waiting for him to move or go down first but he didn't, just watched me. I raised an eyebrow and he flinched but didn't move.

"I think you should talk to him." My eyes went wide.

"What?" I snarled.

"I mean…Zach's my friend too and I still don't want to know what it was exactly you were doing," he threw his hands up as if to try and block whatever had been going on "and I really don't want to but I've got a…vague idea," he swallowed, "and he looks pretty upset…just-just talk to him." Before I had time to protest or he had time to think any more about what had happened he was heading down the ladder. Biting my lip and finding it sore I knew Marlin was right and I needed to talk to Zach.

Hesitantly I titled my head so I could see Zach out of the corner of my eye. "What?" I asked emotionlessly.

"When we leave, is that going to be the end?" He looked defeated, his shoulders slumped and his arms opened helplessly at his side. "Are you going to forget everything that happened?"

"That was the plan." He grimaced like I had hit him and I tried to keep my face stony.

Shivering he crossed his arms, as if he were cold and was trying and failing to warm himself. "Alright." My conscience was screaming at me. I couldn't do this; I couldn't leave him here like this and break his heart. It was in that moment of torment that I made the sickest realization of the night; I was in love with him. By this time all of my realizations and epiphanies had already taken their toll and there wasn't much left of me for this new found discovery to chip away at.

My heart kicked it up a notch as he looked up beneath a curtain of fine hair, a small uncertain glimmer of hope in his eyes as I approached him. Delicately I draped my arms around him and found my lips were even with his forehead, it wasn't that Zach was short, I was just obnoxiously tall. I kissed him gently on the top of the head "I'm not leaving you." I professed with a sigh.

I could almost picture a tail wagging behind him as he threw his arms around me, closing in tightly until it was difficult to breath. "I'm not leaving you either Lorren!" he proclaimed gleefully, burying his face in my restricted chest.

"Zach…"I gasped for breath and he released me a bit bashfully, that adorable red tint rising to his cheeks again.

"Sorry I…" he trailed off, floundering for some excuse to try and recover some of his dignity while running a hand through his already disheveled hair and I saw my chance.

"You just seem to have all the answers tonight, don't you?" I mocked, sideling up along side Zach so I had to tilt my head to look down at him. "Face it shorty, you just can't keep your hands off of me." At his shocked expression I waggled my eyebrows and stepped lightly around him and dropped down out of the tree without the use of the ladder, bending my knees easily and silently to steady my landing. Turning impassively into the dark I nodded to Marlin who stood anxiously a few feet off my left hand side. Behind us Zach stumbled clumsily down the ladder and when his feet touched the ground I made to move off towards the clearing where I knew the girls would be waiting but once again I was stopped by an all too familiar hand on my wrist.

"Yes?" I asked, dragging out the vowel.

"So are we…together?" Zach asked, confusion clouding his eyes. Marlin tensed beside us, obviously not wanting to hear this but unsure if he was suppose to leave or stay. We both ignored him.

"Yes, I suppose." A sanguine grin broke out across his already glowing face and I couldn't help giving him a lopsided smile in return. For the final time that night we leaned in and met each other. I heard Marlin's sharp intake of breath somewhere far off in the recesses of my mind but ignored him, relishing in the feeling of Zach's lips melting against mine and not knowing when I would feel it again. Regretfully we pulled apart and had a laugh at Marlin's expense, where he stood tense and nervous looking everywhere but at us.

"What's the matter Marlin?" I purred and he shuttered.

"I'm not saying anything…" he began walking away defiantly and Zach and I followed closely in suit, our elbows occasionally brushing.

"Meet me tomorrow night." he whispered when there was a few feet between Marlin and ourselves.

I looked up in the midst of re-buttoning my shirt "To do what?" I teased and his smile turned sly.

"To pick up where we left off of course." I tried to keep my usually macabre thoughts upbeat as I thought of being with him again tomorrow night but it was difficult. Marlin walking in on us had reminded me why this was a bad idea. Dabbling in the tantalizing art of forbidden romance was a tedious and possibly deadly practice and yet here I was; diving head first off a rocky cliff, inevitably leading to my doom but doing it all the same. If I was indeed heading to my ultimate demise, I reasoned I might as well have some fun along the way.

"So…congratulations, I guess…" Marlin mumbled awkwardly when we were all walking together once more.

I cocked my head "Congratulations?"

"Isn't that what you're suppose to say when your friends get together?" he snapped, sounding more like the hostile and arrogant Marlin we all knew and loved.

"Well…thanks." Zach responded brightly but still a bit uneasily.

I decided not to say anything on his comment, knowing full well that this was not a relationship to be encouraged. I did however admire Marlin for his amazing resilience. He had, less the five minutes ago, walked in on two of his only male friends diving into mortal sin with one another in a way that was so ridiculously and obscenely horrible it was unheard of, and he was already almost all the way back to his normal self. I knew I wouldn't have had that kind of rubber snap-back reaction. If I had walked in on Zach and Marlin…the thought trailed off as I pictured the two of them together and felt an uncalled for surge of possessiveness. I didn't want to think about it any further.

In the pallid light of the moon I could now see the silhouettes of the girls and could tell them apart just by their stances. The tall and willowy shadow standing proudly and yet shifting anxiously from foot to foot was Adriane, waiting to see Zach again for the first time since she had declined his suit. The shortest standing eagerly in the middle of the other two was Emily and that left the third, standing with a lazy and bored posture, to be Kara; my Kara. I felt an unexpected stab of pain in my chest at the thought of seeing her again. Zach's arm was pressed against mine in reassurance and I gently detached myself, not wanting to truly feel anything right now even though I could feel anger boiling beneath my surface.

"Lorren." She purred with a lazily grin twisting its way across her stunning face as I approached. There was a faint glimmer of excitement in her eyes but it made my eyes burn with unshed tears as I finally, once and for all, accepted that she was no longer mine. Before when we met she would light up, she would run to me and babble ceaselessly about absolutely everything that had transpired to her that day and I had loved every second of it, never knowing it would end, and now it had. That faint spark of excitement that her eyes held now was nothing to do with the love or passion she had once held for me but rather her love of excitement and getting her way. I was her forbidden romance, a prince, only there for her amusement. "Darling." She cooed and lifted her arms around my neck, stroking my hair. Her fingers were oddly cold compared to the warmth that radiated from Zach but I still felt a pang in my heart as I leaned in close, searching for any sign of her old love in her sparkling blue eyes.

"Something wrong?" she asked innocently with a pouting lip at my aloofness. It was almost painfully beautiful upon her soft face. My hands found her hips automatically and once again I marveled at how easily we fit together, something I had once taken for granted. I missed her, I wanted her, I needed her. My hands shook as I held her close, knowing that she didn't care for me the way I did her and she never would again. Misery engulfed every ounce of me and it took all I could not to let the tears overflow into her golden hair, luminescent in the moon light.

"No…nothing." I lied, just like she had lied to me for so long now. Titling her head in a most attractive way her hair shifted all to one side and she smiled lightly, accepting my answer and already moving on to something new.

"What happened to your shirt?" she asked curiously, a bit of humor in her voice.

"What?" I looked my shirt over and realized with a jolt that apart from being extremely wrinkled, it was torn. The stitch along the sleeve had been destroyed, half of the sleeve hanging off. There were numerous smaller tears and fraying all across the nearly annihilated garment. "Oh. That. Zach and I were…practicing fighting. I guess I didn't notice it." I shrugged and she giggled. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Zach swell ever so slightly with smugness.

Kara stood on tip-toe and I bent down to meet her lips, shimmering with her newest gloss. I knew her intentions had been a quick peck but I held her to me, savoring her taste, her scent and her feel. This may be our last kiss. This may be the last moment I had with the coldest and most beautiful girl in all the realms. I should have hated her, but I couldn't. Part of me still loved her.

My mouth moved clingingly against hers and she returned me move for move but it was cold. Her spindly fingers were in my hair and mine were in hers and around her waist, trying to draw any warmth at all from her but it was all in horrible vain. A cough sounded close to my ear, or perhaps it was from very far away, I just couldn't immerse myself in her anymore.

"Lorren, we have to get the girls home." Zach's voice was tight and restrained. I knew I had upset him but I would explain it later, I had to have this moment, this final moment, I just needed it.

"It's OK," I told him conversationally, pulling away from her. "I'm done here." I smiled like I always did when I pretended all was alright when it wasn't but he got the meaning and nodded briskly before moving away towards Adriane who stood on the outskirts of the group looking awkward and a bit ashamed. She tensed at the sight of him moving towards her but he smiled and called to her.

I looked away from them, giving him time to do whatever it was he wanted to do. Just before my line of vision had made it all the way back to Kara, a pair of all-too-knowing hazel eyes got in the way; Emily. Alarms went off in my head at her shocked expression, she knew. How could she have known though? I looked accusingly to Marlin but his expression was clear, he hadn't spoken a word, and then I remembered. She was the healer, with the power to see auras and sometimes even hear thoughts. My brow furrowed in concentration of trying to stare her out and keep my skin as sweat-free as possible but both were difficult. There was no disgust or horror on her face, she only looked pleasantly surprised and I found myself unable to look at her anymore. What could she see?

Kara's cheeks were flushed though not with any passion, only surprise at my sudden forcefulness. "Let's go." I nodded quickly and we led the way for the rest of the group, splitting into three separate couples, lingering just out of earshot of one another if we whispered.

For a while we walked in silence, she seemed far more comfortable with it than I was, but then again perhaps she and Lyra were having a conversation all their own. It wasn't until the portal was in sight that she tensed.

"Is something wrong?" I asked politely as all smug joy had suddenly been whipped off her face in one instant. Her eyes went wide in disbelief and her beautiful mouth turned down in a painful frown.

"What's-what's that? On your neck?" Subconsciously I raised my fingers and ran them across my neck until I found what she meant; a small bruise was forming on the left side of my neck. My memory leapt to an image of Zach on top of me, his teeth grazing across my neck. Something dark and cynical rose inside of me; she knew damn well what it was on my neck. She had no right to be upset either, after it had been her betraying me for so long and now the look of hurt on her face made it seem as if I was the one in the wrong. Another memory flared in my mind; Kara, a few months ago with a mysterious bruise-like mark on her neck, assuring me with a slightly nervous darting of her eyes that it was a bug bite.

"A bug bite." I told her, my voice icy even to my own ears. "You've been getting a lot of them lately, haven't you?" The accusation meant little about bug bites but she knew exactly what I meant. Her eyes became nebulous and there was a visible crease of pain across her flawless face. For a moment, she looked just like the somehow innocently headstrong girl I had fallen in love with. "It's cold, isn't it?" I asked nonchalantly.

It wasn't the least bit cold out but we both knew I wasn't speaking of the weather. "It is." She responded, sounding very tired. A few short strides led us to the hypnotizing, rhythmically spinning portal. Psychedelic colors swirling and twisting in on each other, the giant circle hanging a few inches above the ground, suspended by some unknown force. We met each others eyes, painfully, angrily and regretfully.

"I love you Kara," I professed honestly, clearing my throat gently as my voice cracked under the weight of my words "and I wish you all the happiness in the world."

Her sapphire eyes were blurred with moisture and silently a tear streaked down her face. I traced the line with my own finger and delicately brushed it away, fighting back tears of my own. "I love you too, Lorren and…and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." The way her voice shook, the way she looked so lost and self-loathing, I knew she deserved it all but it still took every fiber of my being not to take her in my arms and assure her it would all be alright. That wasn't my job anymore. Someone else had replaced me; tonight someone else would hold her. I shuddered in pain at the thought. I didn't respond to her profession of love or apology; I couldn't tell her it was alright or that I knew she meant it, because both would be a lie. Her hand slid into mine with gentle reassurance, but slid back out again just as fast, like oil trying to mix with water. We no longer fit together and no longer belonged to one another. With one more pained look at each other she turned to the portal as I saw another tear glimmer in the strange light before she whipped it away with the sleeve of her pink cashmere sweater and she was gone, and just like that, we were over.

Tomorrow she would be back though, we still had a war to win and personal feelings had no place in the heat of battle. I wish I could say that she had symbolically walked out of my heart but that was nowhere near true either. Lyra padded quietly after her, amber eyes glimmering predatorily in the light. "You are a true gentleman, Prince Lorren." We nodded respectfully at one another and then she was gone as well. A chapter of my life had closed forever, the first pleasant chapter in a long time and presumably the only one for a while to come. It was hard not to cave under the weight of that thought.

My breath was cut off as a blur of red hair and blue light slammed into my chest in a ferocious hug. "Emily," I gasped, partially in surprise and partially in pain.

She pulled back with a huge grin across her sweet face "Oh, I'm so happy for you Lorren! I know you're so much better off." There was a blush of embarrassment across her cheeks but it didn't hinder her spirits. With a bit of humor I noticed her slightly puffy lips and the ruffled look of her hair. Instantly I knew Marlin must have pounced on her while I had been wrapped up in Kara, desperately trying to assert his manhood and convince to whoever was watching this twisting little plot of ours that he was still highly interested in the feminine species. I smiled back and hugged her tightly.

"Thank-you, Emily." Ozzie looked curiously between us.

"I don't get it, what happened?"

"You're always out of the loop Ozzie." Emily teased and then they were gone too.

Adriane followed after, her eyes still tight with sorrow and the weight of what she had done tonight. Only now her head was held a little higher and the smile across her lips looked more genuine now. With a tilt of her head her onyx hair fell away from her dark eyes and she looked at me squarely. "Thanks, Lorren."

"For what?" but she was already through; Dreamer following with his tongue lolling out in a wolfish smile.

Slowly the glowing portal began to close but I didn't watch. Turning away, brushing silently past Zach and Marlin I started off towards the field where the Drake and Nightwing waited with Niva resting in the stream that broke the otherwise even ground. I didn't break from my anxious gait until Nightwing was only a few feet away. It was a relief to see his dark form against the moonlight, being one of the few things in my life that hadn't changed tonight. I sighed gratefully and pressed my head against his withers.

It was a little known fact to anyone who was not a member of the goblin community that goblin bats were in fact capable of speech, every bit as well as the Drake and Niva; they were just naturally silent animals. Nightwing and I usually spoke in gestures and expressions, so close that we rarely ever needed any words to understand what the other meant. Pulling back with a sigh I looked into his shinning green and black orb of an eye. His eyelid half closed in an almost lazy way that I knew was meant as a sympathetic gesture. I nodded, telling him I needed all the sympathy I could get.

His one ear flicked off towards the almost entirely closed portal, he was asking if it had to do with Kara. I shrugged in a way that expressed that it sort of was. A slight tilt of his head; what else? I shifted my gaze off towards Zach where he stood with his back to us, speaking with the Drake. His fangs flashed in the moonlight; did he do something to upset you? That was a good question and an extremely difficult one to answer. Finally I nodded my head but smiled at Zach. Nightwing didn't look at me in a confused or strange manor in any way, he never did, he just always accepted what I said.

For a long moment I just stroked his leathery back passively, trying to ease myself and Nightwing accepted it easily. An elongated shadow made by the moonlight passed across my hand. "You alright?"

"Yeah…" For some reason I had spoken it like I had something else to add but my mind was blank, there was nothing to say. Zach's arms were around my waist and his chin on my shoulder in a way that suddenly and inconceivably eliminated so much of my stress I sighed in relief, relaxing back into him with my cheek resting against his forehead. He laughed.

"You worry way too much Lorren. At this rate you'll have grey hair by next year."

I smiled but my thoughts wandered. "Two years after that I'll be king. Imagine that, I'm sure there's never been a king like me; so lanky that if I turn sideways I almost disappear and I hit my head on every doorway in the kingdom; I was the most wanted bandit in all the realm and commanded hundreds in the underground army; dated and was cheated on by the fairy princess; and now I'm in love with a boy raised by mistwolves. My parents must be so proud." I waited a moment for him to laugh and make fun of me too but he was oddly quiet. I quickly retraced over what I had said and panicked that I had offended him with my playful jab at his upbringing. "Zach, I didn't mean anything against you. I was just ranting, I'm sorry. Don't be mad…" I pulled out of his grasp so I could see his face but there wasn't anger or any signs of pain across his features. In fact, I couldn't quite place his expression at all.

"No it's not…I'm not mad…I just…you said…" He looked at me with that same almost expressionless face, his wide eyes catching the moonlight.

"What?" I retraced what I had said again and then I got it. I had made the realization in my head but hadn't said it out loud to him. I had said I loved him. "Oh…oh yeah…" There wasn't enough left in me to tell him straight out, I couldn't say it. Not with Kara so heavy in my heart, tonight had been far too draining. Zach didn't seem to mind.

He just stood there, watching. It made me uncomfortable, though that was a bit ridiculous as I had strayed so far out of my comfort zone tonight that I had pretty much forgotten how to get back to it all. There was nothing left for me to do then but to bring us together again. My hands wound through his hair and across his neck and brought him to me so fiercely I wondered it I'd hurt him, or myself, but didn't linger long on the thought. Briefly I regarded the fact that the moon had been blotted out, in fact the stars had as well. Upon a second glance it was Nightwing's wing, raised casually to shield the inappropriate sight from Niva, the Drake and Marlin, who had undoubtedly already averted his eyes (I couldn't help wondering with a bit of dark levity if he would try to scrub his corneas raw tonight in an attempt to rid his memory of what he had seen). I sent a surge of gratitude towards my bonded. He hadn't appeared shocked or horrified, not even surprised in the least; just accepted my choices as always.

His ease at this new relationship of mine and the way Zach and I fit together so perfectly made me think. Perhaps gender didn't really matter. Perhaps all that really mattered was a connection, a feeling of love and friendship and trust. Maybe it all wasn't as twisted as I thought. Certainly I felt all those things from Zach, in fact, I always had. It had just been a different kind of love. What could be so wrong about us together if we were truly happy? Maybe it was just the world itself that was twisted for making me think that this was wrong. I leaned into him more, seeking the reassurance I needed to conclude my theory that love was love, no matter what gender or race or class.

Breaking apart was getting more and more painful each time. This annoyance was shared between us as a groan of protest edged past his lips as we parted. "Tomorrow." I whispered against him in a promise.

Weakly he nodded "Tomorrow," he agreed, "you're mine." His voice was husky and seductive and I tried not to let my thoughts wander to try and decipher what exactly he meant by that. Whatever it was, I was up for it, anything as long as I had my best mate beside me.

"I'm yours."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

So congratulations on making it the whole way to the end! It's 34 pages on Microsoft! So anyways, review if you like, don't if you're lazy (like I usually do…). If you want to flame then be my guest and entertain me cause the joke is on you. I'm not the one who just wasted a portion of my life reading a story I hated and then going through the extra trouble of reviewing it… :p