Disclaimer: Guess what? No.

Nothing ever says springtime like the appearance of the posters around the school announcing the upcoming prom, or the stores taking away their winter coats to make room for the dresses too beautiful to be meant for any other night. The guys began saving up their money for the dance long before the prices were ever announced, hoping that when that time came around, they would be ready to take that special someone with them to possibly the greatest event of their high school career.

Almost all of them, anyway.

Shikamaru Nara, active – depending on the definition used – member of Knowledge Bowl, was probably both the smartest and laziest kid in the entire school. He was also, as Ino constantly pointed out, very lacking the relationship department. Specifically, he didn't have a girlfriend. Which wouldn't have been so bad if prom hadn't been rapidly approaching, and that was one thing that people didn't go to by themselves.

It wasn't that he particularly cared about prom, or even wanted to go, but when you were childhood friends with Ino Yamanaka, you were dragged to every social school gathering, girlfriend or not. It would, therefore, be in his best interests to find himself a girlfriend in the two weeks before prom reared its troublesome head.

Speaking of troublesome...

"So, prom's in two weeks and I don't have anyone taking me yet," Ino announced as she slid into a chair at Shikamaru's table. Shikamaru blinked and stared at the meager lunch that his stick of a purple-clad friend had set in front of her.

"I didn't know salad and water constituted a meal."

"Hush, you." Ino stabbed a lettuce leaf with her fork and brought it to her mouth before setting the fork down again, leafy greens still stuck on the tines. Anorexic was a word often used to describe Konoha High's resident gossip queen, but it wasn't really the truth. It was true that she was unbelievably skinny and obsessed with her appearance, and it was true that she had had an eating disorder a year ago, but now she usually ate properly. Usually. "I've got a cheese-stick in my backpack. Besides, there's this gorgeous dress I want to wear for prom that I can't wear if I gain any more weight."

He sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. "I thought you said you didn't have a date?"

"So? I'll get one by prom."

"You'll get one what?" Tenten asked, sliding in across from Ino, tray laden with food. "If it's anything that isn't found in this school, then I don't think I can help you with it."

"Hey, Ten," Ino replied with a smile. "I was talking about a boyfriend."

Tenten considered this as she bit into her apple with a loud crunch. She chewed, swallowed, then replied, "Well, there's no shortage of boys here." She glanced meaningfully at Shikamaru, who shook his head.

"Leave me out of this," he told her sternly, though he recognized the teasing glint in her eye. It was one she adopted fairly often, usually while making fun of Neji. Ino noticed the look too, because she began giggling to herself.

"What is so funny? I stated a fact!"

"Coming from the girl who thinks chasing a guy down the hall with lipstick is a good way to celebrate the end of a semester, that means nothing to me." Ino bit back her giggles and her face turned red as a strand of blond hair escaped from her impossibly long ponytail and fell in front of her face.

"That was only once!" Tenten protested. "Besides, he deserved it. It was only right I pay him back for the time he drew on my arms."

"You were sleeping in calculus," Shikamaru felt compelled to add.

"It doesn't change the fact that he drew on my arms in sharpie! I had to wear long sleeves for a month because he wrote 'Tenten belongs in a psycho ward' all over my arms."

By this time Ino had covered her face in her hands, completely overcome by giggles. "You..." she gasped though her laughter, "are so lucky... that Kakashi-sensei... never pays any attention to us."

"Or am I?"

Shikamaru snorted. "If he saw that, he would have been all over it, and you guys would never have such interesting conversations."

"You sleep in that class every day."

"He was awake for the drawing on you, wasn't he?"

Tenten looked up at her arch-nemesis, who had come up behind her in the middle of the conversation and stood there silently until an opportune moment had come, and scowled. "Not the point, Neji."

Neji shrugged silently and sat down in the chair next to Tenten. "Have I missed anything important?" he asked Shikamaru, raising an eyebrow at his friend, who was currently looking at the lunch line through hooded eyes, wondering if it was worth the trouble to get up and get lunch yet.

"Nope," he replied after a moment. "Not really."

"That's good. It's never good to be behind in the latest news when you come to this school. Especially when you," he pointed at Shikamaru, "hang out with the gossip queen."

"Hey, I have to. We grew up together. You guys don't have that excuse."

"I do," Choji interjected, plopping down in the seat next to Ino. He glanced at her lunch tray and made a face. "Yuck. How can you stand that stuff?"

"What stuff?" Ino asked, staring at her tray in confusion. Choji reached over and picked up a piece of lettuce between his thumb and forefinger and held it up for the entire table to inspect.

"Iceberg lettuce," he pronounced after a moment, a look of utter disgust on his face. "Nasty."

"Would you give me back my lunch?"

He shook his head rapidly, causing his whole body to start shaking, which made the lettuce in his fingers to slip out at fly right into Tenten's hair. She screamed, trying to shake it out. "That is so gross," Shikamaru said between bursts of laughter.

"She deserves it. No one needs a bit of salad more than she does." Neji reached over and plucked the lettuce out of Tenten's hair, then tossed it into the trash can behind him.

"Thanks," she muttered, rolling her eyes, "but I could have done that by myself."

"You were screaming."

"Your point?"

Shikamaru got up from the table and slouched towards the diminished lunch line without a word. "The pizza is good!" Choji hollered after him, voice cutting cleanly through the chaos of the lunch room. Shikamaru raised a hand in acknowledgement as he reached the line, then turned to face the direction the rest of the line was facing as it inched forward slowly. What he saw made him regret getting up out of bed that morning.

Someone about a head shorter than him stood erect directly in front of him, wearing jeans and a green jacket. Her dirty blond hair was yanked back into a messy ponytail with a blue scrunchie, a detail that Shikamaru was furious at himself for noticing. He resolved not to attract her attention as the line scooted forward another inch or so, and he might have succeeded, if it weren't for the fact that the lunch lady asked what he wanted and he was forced to actually reply. "Pepperoni pizza," he mumbled quietly, hoping that the person in front of him wouldn't hear.

No such luck.

She turned on her heels at the sound of his voice, and, upon spotting him, scowled, blue eyes narrowing into tiny slits. "Shikamaru."

"Temari."