Title: Being Idiots (Part one of ?)

Author: Whiskey Meteor

Rating: PG-13

Summary: After running out on his wedding, Xander runs into Andrew in a bar.

Disclaimer: Everything BtVS belongs to Joss Whedon.

Notes: Alternate ending to "Hell's Bells". After Xander walks out on his wedding he does not come back. As far as we know, the old man really was Xander from the future.

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Xander sat down heavily on a stool at the bar. The bartender looked him over, his eyes lingering on Xander's now disheveled and somewhat soggy tuxedo. He quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Bad day?"

Xander laughed bitterly, and then fixed a hard glare on the man behind the bar, "Whiskey," he ordered, "A double." The bartender nodded curtly, poured Xander's drink, and then busied himself behind the bar. "Bad day?" Xander muttered to himself, swirling the amber liquid around in the glass before taking it in one gulp. He clinked the empty glass down on the bar and caught the bartender's eye again, "Try worst day *ever*," he said.

The bartender refilled Xander's glass and smiled consolingly, "I'm Jack," he said, "You got a name, kid?"

Xander waved, feigning enthusiasm, "Hi Jack," he said, "I'm Xander." Resuming his original bad mood face, Xander raised the glass to his lips and emptied it again.

Jack folded his arms over his chest, and nodded knowingly, "She left you at the alter?" he guessed.

Xander offered another bitter laugh, "Worse," he said darkly, "*I* left *her*." Xander raised the glass again and shook it, indicating it should be refilled.

Jack took the glass and placed it on the bar between them, "Take a breather," he suggested, "tell me what happened."

Slumping forward with a groan, Xander hit his head on the bar a few times, and then looked back up at Jack. "She was the best thing that ever happened to me," he said, shaking his head.

"Then why did you leave her?" Jack asked.

Xander rolled his eyes, and pushed his hair off of his forehead, "Because I'm an idiot," he explained. Jack quirked an eyebrow, and Xander continued, "Something happened..." Xander paused, trying to think of a way to explain what had happened without actually looking insane. "There was this guy," he said, "He... well he knows me better than anyone else. And when he showed up... I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing anymore."

"Wow," Jack said quietly, "That's harsh, you're old boyfriend crashed your wedding?"

"He was *not* an old boyfriend," Xander insisted. Jack looked at him, unconvinced. Xander sighed, "He's more like... family."

Jack nodded sincerely, "I get it," he said, "Like a best friend?"

Xander shrugged, "Sometimes best friend," he said, "Sometimes worst enemy."

Jack took Xander's glass, filled it again, and placed it back on the bar. "Happens all the time," he said, "You're best friends. You already love each other, it's just a step away from being *in* love with each other." Xander stared at Jack in disbelief. Jack clapped Xander on the shoulder and nodded to a table in the corner, where a lone young man was sitting, "Ask him," he said, "He knows first hand."

Xander glanced in the direction that Jack had indicated. The man sitting alone at the table looked so sad that Xander was a picture of happiness in comparison. He was thin, pale, and sipping dejectedly at what looked like a glass of coke through a straw. Shaking his head, Xander took his drink and stood up off of the bar stool, "I'm gonna go and talk to him," he said, narrowing his eyes at the man behind the bar, "But only because it looks like he might have had a worse day than me," Xander pointed an accusing finger at Jack for emphasis, "Not because I'm gay." Jack raised his hands defensively, and Xander nodded and clarified, "Because I'm *not*." Jack gave a silent nod, and Xander crossed the room to the sad man at the table in the corner. "Mind if I join you?" he asked cautiously. The young man made a startled noise, as if Xander had appeared beside his table magically. "Sorry," Xander offered, "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm Xander," he nodded to the chair on the unoccupied side of the table, "Do you mind?"

The other man shook his head, "No, go ahead," he said, "I'm Andrew." They looked at each other thoughtfully for a moment, trying to place the other in some memory. Enlightenment came only to Andrew, Oh my god! he thought, suddenly panicky, It's *Xander*! Buffy's Xander! What if he recognises me!

Xander cocked his head to the side, "Did we go to school together?" he asked, "You look kinda familiar..." Andrew breathed a silent sigh of relief, Xander had never actually seen him. He was safe. Slightly puzzled, Xander shrugged at Andrew's silence, "So," he said, "Jack says you've had a bad day." He sat down across from Andrew and set his glass on the table, "I had a bad day too, and I thought maybe we could swap sob stories," he shrugged again, "I've heard it said that misery is never as bad if you have company to wallow in it with."

Andrew took a long draw through his straw and swallowed. Cool, fizzy cola flowed down his throat. No alcohol. Andrew was thinking about what to do next, and he figured that although it might help dull his pain, it would get in the way of coming up with a good plan. It was so sweet of Xander to want to help. Andrew looked up into Xander's dark brown eyes, open and honest and genuine, and he felt suddenly worse than ever. He wanted to confess everything that he and Warren and Jonathan had done to hurt Buffy and her friends, and beg Xander's forgiveness. Then he thought about Warren, poised over Katrina's limp form on the stairs. He thought about her blood on his hands, and he thought about going to jail, and he held his tongue.

Xander poked at his glass on the table, "Okay, I'll go first," he sighed, "I was supposed to get married today," he said, "But I left my bride at the alter."

Andrew gasped. He'd known through surveillance on Buffy that Xander and Anya were getting married, but they'd seemed so happy. Visions of dead bodies and consequences slipped from Andrew's mind. He would have given anything to be part of that kind of love. A tangible real love stretching off into forever. Andrew couldn't understand why someone would walk out on that. He shook his head incredulously, "Why?"

Xander rubbed the back of his neck, "That's what I'm trying figure out," he said. Andrew raised his eyebrows inquisitively, and Xander went on, "...This guy came to the wedding, and he kind of reminded me of where I came from," Xander frowned, remembering the old man who was him from the future. The old man had shown Xander his future with Anya. He'd confirmed what Xander had always been afraid of- that he would turn out just like his father.

Eyes narrowed in concentration, Andrew looked at Xander, Xander decided he didn't want to marry Anya because of a guy that came to the wedding? he thought, Does that mean Xander's... gay? "So," Andrew asked carefully, "What was this guy, like, your ex or something?"

Xander made a strangled noise, "No," he insisted, "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

Andrew wrinkled his nose, "Sorry," he whined, "So who was he, then?"

Xander fixed Andrew with a stony look, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you," he said evenly.

"Try me," Andrew said with a shrug.

"Okay," Xander offered, "But don't say I didn't warn you." He took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh, "The guy was *me*, but from the future," Xander explained, "He- or, I, I guess- had this magic sphere, and he showed me glimpses into my future if I married Anya- that was my fiancée."

Andrew frowned thoughtfully, "But you said he reminded you of where you came from?"

"He did," Xander said, "The things he showed me..." he shook his head sadly, "If we got married, Anya and I would have turned out just like my mom and dad."

"Proud, happy parents?" Andrew ventured.

Xander frowned, "Bitter and miserable." Andrew offered Xander a sympathetic smile, and Xander frowned a little harder, "Wait, you believe me?" he asked, "About the time travel and the magic?"

Andrew shrugged, and took another long draw through his straw, "Sure," he said, "I mean, this *is* Sunnydale."

Xander looked down at his empty glass and sighed, "So what about you?" he asked.

Andrew looked back at Xander suspiciously, "What about me?"

Xander raised his eyebrows, "I shared my pain," he said, "Now you share yours."

"Oh," Andrew fidgeted and took another sip of his drink, "Well, there's this guy... He's one of my best friends. Or at least he *was* one of my best friends."

"Was?" Xander prompted, "What happened?"

"I did something really stupid," Andrew offered. Xander looked at him expectantly, and Andrew squirmed, "I kinda... fell in love with him."

"And he didn't feel the same way?" Xander asked gently.

Andrew felt his ears grow hot, fueled by anger at himself. "He said he did," he explained, "But he was just using me."

"What, like, for..." Xander lowered his voice, "sex?" he finished in a whisper.

"I wish," Andrew said bitterly. "No," he went on, "I was Lando to his Vader. I was just a pawn... he kept saying that he loved me and we'd be together when- when he got what he wanted."

Xander frowned, "What did he want?"

Andrew hesitated, knowing that 'to kill the slayer and rule over Sunnydale' was not the right thing to say. "Um," he said, "it's a long story. But like Lando, I've re-evaluated my priorities, and I'm through being used." Andrew pouted dejectedly, "When he finds out I'm gone, he's gonna be pissed." Andrew shook his head at himself. "He never even kissed me," Andrew said sadly, "You think I would have realised... I'm such an idiot."

Xander frowned at Andrew thoughtfully, wondering how anyone could stoop to using the sweet man sitting before him. He said he loved him, but he never even kissed him, Xander fixed Andrew with a curious stare, "What's it like?" he asked at length, "You know... kissing another guy?" Andrew shrugged admitting nothing. "I've never kissed a guy before," Xander added, his eyes lowered to the table.

Andrew fidgeted uncomfortably, joining Xander in staring down at the table, "Er..." he said, "Neither have I."

Both men looked up at the same time and their eyes met across the table. They sat there simply looking at each other in the dim light of the bar for moment that seemed more like an eternity. He's never kissed a guy before? Xander thought, Then... how does he even know that he's gay? Andrew licked his lips. Xander swallowed hard, and pointed a finger over the table at Andrew accusingly, "Don't even think about it." On some level, Xander was aware that his demand was aimed as much at himself as it was at the other man.

Andrew averted his eyes and caught his straw up between his lips again. It was too late; he'd already thought about it. Why do you do this to yourself? Andrew pondered silently, Why do you always have to fall for the ones who could never want you back? Andrew looked up across the table at Xander, who was apparently lost in his own reverie, and thought abstractly of Warren. The man he'd followed blindly for the faint hope of returned love. Warren would never have asked to share my pain, Andrew thought, He would have told me to stop whining.

Xander let out a small sigh, and shrugged, "Well," he said, looking up at Andrew again, "Feel any better?" Andrew wrinkled his nose and his bottom lip gave a slight quiver. Xander shook his head, "Yeah," he said, "Me neither."

The end

To be continued...