A/N: This takes place about two days after the season 3 finale, and will progress from there.
"Meredith!"
That was all I heard as I walked down the hallway of Seattle Grace Hospital, attempting to adjust to my new position as a resident. Gone were the harrowing days of being a first year intern, with attendings breathing down our backs (literally for some of us), pressuring us to rack our brains for the right answer, the right dosage. If it wasn't what they wanted to hear, we'd be bumped from the procedure and given a different case, where hopefully we could succeed. No, I was no longer one of them - a scared, babyish intern, trying to survive in the wilderness of the surgical floor. I was a resident, I had my own interns to boss around, to pressure, to scare the crap out of and send them running for the hills. I enjoyed my newfound power, and while I was nowhere near Nazi status (that was Cristina, of course), I found myself pretty intimidating to the eager, young, naïve interns. Despite my new power, as I walked down the hallway that day; as I heard that ever-familiar voice call my name, the strong façade I had built for myself suddenly came crashing down. That voice, that deep voice that evoked the fulfillment of my wildest desires, that filled me with so much pleasure and yet so much hate at the same time, broke my peaceful thoughts and the façade I had worked so hard to create.
I stopped in my tracks, my eyes closing as I took a few deep breaths. In, out. In, out. I repeated this to myself as I turned, as slow as I could, to face the man that filled my heart with so much love, and so much despair at the same time.
"Derek," I said, my voice steady and even, thankfully not betraying my heart, which danced wildly in my chest. I realized I called him Derek, and cleared my throat at once. "Erm. Uh. I mean. Dr. Shepherd. What is it that you need?"
His head cocked to the side, grinning stupidly at me. The McDreamy Smile. God, the man should patent it and slap it with a warning for all the good it's done to me over the past year. I refused to submit to his charms and kept a steady, professional gaze on the gorgeous specimen of a man who stood beside me, who once was mine. Who probably still was mine; I simply didn't care to find out just yet. Of course I loved him; despite what I told my friends, I was still madly in love with him. I was so in love with him, in fact, that I ran from him. My logic was amazing to me. I was so in love with him, yet so afraid to love him, that I lost him. I didn't bother listening to that nagging little voice in my head, that voice which told me to let him have his way with me in an on-call room in ten minutes.
"Meredith, uhm, Dr. Grey. I was hoping I could speak to you." His eyes glanced at their surroundings, where several nurses tittered and whispered at their station, whatever jobs they should have been doing at that moment abandoned as they watched the two most talked-about people in the hospital interact. His eyes fell back to Meredith, raising a brow. "Privately, that is." When nothing registered on my face, he walked towards me. Terrified that he was going to kiss me and make a spectacle in front of everyone, I turned my head to the side and looked down a bit, so when he walked by his lips managed to whisper in my ear. "Meet me in the on-call room on the third floor in ten minutes," he whispered, and I let my guard down for a moment as I straightened up, watching him continue his way down the hall. That man would surely be the death of me someday.
So, what did you think? It's okay if you hated it; this is my first ever fan-fiction. Upcoming chapters will be longer, better, and explain more things. Obviously this chapter was in Meredith's point of view; I haven't decided if I'll switch between her and Derek, or keep her. Suggestions? Praise? Criticism? Press the purple/blue button and review, please! I'm eager to hear what others think.