Disclaimer: I don't own any Gravitation characters, but I do own my own. So too bad cause you can't sue me!

Author's Note: Konnichi-wa! Once again, it time to change the everyday format of every Gravitation story and make it fun and interesting. I'm an original writer, I like to mix my work with others. So let's see how unique I am when I tackle first person!!! Anywho, this would be my second story. My first one (which isn't complete yet, but almost) is called 'Forever Gone, Forever You'. So check it out! Anywho...enjoy! Let me know what you think! Ja ne!

Gaze into the Looking Glass

Written by: Kinya Kai

Chapter One

Lies beyond the Black Door

Shuichi

I don't know how long I've been standing here. It would seem like for days, how time slowly move along the grandfather clock in the hall. As the pendulum swings back and forth, a motion that seems endless. But I knew he wouldn't know that I could hear everything beyond the black door. Feeling my stomach churn with every moan he let escape his lips, I knew he was cheating on me. Did I acknowledge it? Not really, the fear of knowing that if I said or did anything would only end up in an argument. So I kept quiet, which would only hurt more. Hiro told me this would happen, but I was too stubborn to listen to my own best friend. What now, my mind asked me, voice almost hollow. I don't know, I told myself but I knew that I had to do something. This couldn't go on any longer though, but I just had to wait until the right moment.

When would that be? When he continues to cheat further and I just remain silent through it all. I know it would eventurally happen, so I'll pretend to be happy and smile as if I knew nothing. Act all nonchalant with the subject, subside the actually pain I'm feeling. This was me, the nicest person that was put upon this planet. Only difference, in return I get treated like crap and I still keep that smile on my face. Taking a deep breath, reassuring myself that this time I need to take action, I felt my hip vibrate. My eyes removed themselves from the door, down into my jean jacket pocket to watch the musical light dance across the screen. It let me know that I just received a text, probably from Hiro who is worried about me or my sister who won't stop checking up on me. Am I truly that easy to read, the trouble look plastered on my face? I don't know, but I tried to conceal it as much as I could. My hand made its way inside, pulling out the slick black cell I purchase not too long ago. Eyes looking down at the LCD screen, I notice it wasn't either of them, but it was Mika. Slightly shock (we don't get along at all, but I still respect her) I wonder how she'd my number. Pushing the button to open the message, it wasn't too long but it held a lot of information.

'I know what's going on . . . what are you planning to do?'

Simple like that, a question I kept asking myself many of times throughout this hellish relationship. Glancing at the door, more intense moans echo, I knew they wouldn't be done anytime soon. How could I answer someone who seems to hate me one minute, and then threaten to end my life the next. But she's right, what am I going to do? Easy, I'm going to do the same thing he always do to me . . . act like nothing happen and leave. My fingers move quickly along the buttons, showing how much texting I do on my free time. My message was also simple, but true.

'I'm going to do the same thing your brother does . . . act like nothing happened and leave him. What about you because beyond those doors is someone you also love?'

Sending it, I waited for her response, holding the phone in my hand. I needed to sit down, I felt weak. I guess this is what I get for not eating anything, food doesn't seem it want to settle in my stomach. Sliding down the wall, I sat on my knees. I do that a lot, I don't care much about pain. Feeling the familiar jolt and the multicolor glare, I look back down and see her message. My eyes move along, feeling a slight tug at the end of my lips. She was a smart one, I knew we had something slightly in common.

'Unlike you, I own half of his company and once the divorce is drawn, he could continue fucking my brother all he wants.'

Chuckling, I knew things between her and him wasn't all that well. Seriously, they were having more problems than anything. At least they act all lovey-dovey at parties throw by famous people. Holding hands, smiling into cameras, sharing meaningless kisses. She was a good actress, I wonder if she ever thought about taking that up instead of being some modeling agent. But I'm not going to tell her anything, it's her life and she wouldn't want someone like me telling her how to change it. Replying on last time, I stare up at the grandfather clock seeing it was half past twelve. Not completely tired, I had things to do and I needed my rest. Turning off my phone, no need for interference as I stood up again.

Stretching my limbs, I just look at the door in disgust. If he truly was that desperate, why with someone like him? I would never understand, but am I meant to. My footsteps lead me away from the hall of ruin as I walk out into the living room. Staring into the dark abyss, I was happy to see this place. The couch was my best friend for months again and I knew it would be the last time I was to see it. Coming around the coffee table, I sat down. Eyes closed, I felt the world of unconsciousness come. At least in the morning, I don't have to look at him. Cause I refuse to bring out the lies I've held in order to hide the truth. It's just like gazing into a looking glass . . . you never know what you are going to see on the other side.

"Shuichi . . . what are you doing sleeping on the couch again?"

His voice seems like a dream, I could hear it in a distant as I let a sad moan escape my lips. I could feel my slender brows furrow, not believing that I let sleep take over. I refuse to open my eyes, I could sense his presence on next to me. His hand touches my hair, running through the now raven strains. It's been so long since I had that cotton candy pink within my hair. I forgot when I went black, time seems to escape my memories also. I could smell how fresh he was, his favorite amber sand cologne and tobacco graced my nose. Finally, fanning his hand away, I didn't want him to touch me, just knowing that his hands touch another was enough.

"Go away . . .don't bother me." Was my only reply, turning my back to him as his hand left my hair. I knew I shouldn't do this, but he need to know how it feels to get the cold shoulder.

He groan, also curse under his breath. I knew he wouldn't admit what happened, but he would try to figure something out. "What's wrong, why are you avoiding me?" his voice was soft, as if he wanted to feel some type of sympathy towards my action. I doubt it . . . I'm not worth his sympathy.

My eyes open, staring at the throw pillow on the couch. Jaw tightens with each thought that seem to run in my head. Answering him, I wasn't going to be all giddy and pout. I'm not the same anymore, why should I act any different with him. "Why do you think something is wrong? You must have done something to be all skeptical with my sudden actions." Just listening to myself, I knew it linger with poison, hissing into the tense air we both create.

"What the. . .alright, what going on? You never spoke to me like this before. It doesn't seem like you, why are you acting all cold?"

Oh really, I thought sarcastically. On cue, my body just rose as I finally looked at him. Just seeing those amber eyes I came to adore look at me back, created a whirlpool of unwanted emotions within. How could I be so foolish to fall for someone like him. That's right, I was younger, immature and believe in the word 'love in first sight'. Hiro was right, I shouldn't have been careful and not let my heart guide me. Now, three years and I've been in hell without anyone knowing. Not even him, the one I proclaim my love for. Throwing my legs off the couch, I realize I had a blanket on me. Did he come and throw it over me before his 'lover' snuck out? Not even going to ask him, I just face him. The moment of truth . . . I waited too long.

"You don't seem to think that I know what's been going on these past months. You suddenly coming home late, not answer your phone when I call. Ignoring me when you walk through the door. And you say I'm being cold, don't you find that pretty ironic?"

"I can explain . . . it's just-"

"Don't say anything, Yuki. What ever you are going to say will only be a lie. Why should I believe you, I know the truth and you can't keep trying to hide it for long."

He went silent, I could tell how his body tensed when I spoke about it. So he thought he could get away with it, he is an idiot. His fingers ran through his blonde hair, slicking it back. He refuses to take out a cigarette and smoke away the truth. He can't hide anything from me, because one way or another I'm going to find out. I crossed my legs casually, waiting for him to answer my simple question. Becoming rather irritated myself, I reached into my other pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and my light. I took it out, placed it between my lips, and lit it as I inhaled deeply. The taste of nicotine caressed my throat, god these things can cure anything. Noticing him turn back around and look at me, rather shockingly. I knew he question. It just proved that for three years, he hasn't noticed anything about me. Or maybe just looking into my eyes would drove him through enough guilt.

"When did you start smoking?" he ask, his brow rose in questioning.

Pulling the cigarette from between my lips, I held it within my fingers, casting my gaze away. "Two years ago, it wasn't a mystery. You haven't been home so long to notice my bad habits, like smoking and content drinking." I was blunt, no need to make it all dramatic.

He let out a sigh, I couldn't tell if it was a sad one or disgusted. Either way, it doesn't have anything to do with what's going on. My habits are habits and they are hard to break. "I guess I do deserve the third degree, huh?"

"Oh you deserve more than that, but don't worry I'm not going to do anything I might regret. So, who should start? I think it's best for you to tell me your story because if I told it, let's just say mines would make an interesting book."

"A story, what is it you know? I have nothing to hide, why should I?"

Moving the cigarette on the other side, my lips just falter into a frown. Stubborn as he seems, who he is trying to fool. I'm not stupid, and I don't' know why he think I am. Seeing that I have to start, I want him to hear my lovely version. "Since you are too a shame to admit such treachery, I'll start. So when were you going to tell me your affair with Seguchi-san? It seems last night you two had a party, fucking each other pretty senseless."

That caught his attention as he turns quickly to me, eyes wide open. So he thought I wasn't here or I didn't know. Man, the element of surprise never fails. What pathetic lie is he going to conjure up this time. "So . . . you did know?"

"Of course, I mean it's pretty suspicious don't you think? I mean, he's practically over here every single day and don't seem to leave until the next day. I've been listening, to every single fuck session you two have. Seriously, why would you think I wouldn't have known . . . I mean, I'm not that stupid, Yuki."

"Are you going to tell, Mika?"

"What is there to tell, she figure it out too. She's pretty pissed, seriously Seguchi is going to get it when he goes home. I mean, you slept with the woman's husband, she has the right to know, even if I didn't tell her."

"So what now Shuichi, are you going to leave me?"

Just looking at him, he knew the answer, but why should I even tell him. Standing up, I knew this was goodbye, but at least one of us don't have to hurt anymore. "What's the point of me staying? You don't need me, you have Seguchi. Plus, I'll be in the way . . . our relationship was pointless anyway."

"Is that how you truly feel? Our relationship doesn't mean anything to you?"

"Now . . . shouldn't you be asking yourself that question instead of me?"

TBC

Author's Note: Good chapter, perfect introduction to start off the rest of the story huh? It's kind of a prologue, but hey, makes a great first chapter. So let me know what you think? Good, bad, hate it, whatever floats your boat. Review.