DISCLAIMER: NOT MINE! In answer to Beth's sequel to your fave fic, I decided to go right back to the start and revisit my fist ever fic attempt 'I don't need you?' which would you believe it was over a year ago I kept thinking about what else I could have included so as I have a special place in my heart for this fic I took on the challenge, I do hope it is okay! Enjoy! :)
The weekend was almost up and it was time to return to the mundane routine of reality. Neither Sandra or Gerry really wanted this to happen, the Bradbury case and Caudwell had seen to that. Sandra's revelations about her adolescent self being involved with bad boy Paul Caudwell and losing his baby had changed the both of them It was if the Earth's supernatural way of banging their heads together, Sandra confiding in Gerry like that had taught her she didn't want to be alone and it was okay not to be strong. As for Gerry, well it taught him that he and Sandra had a very special kind of relationship, a unique connection and he was going to make sure she knew she would never be alone again.
This whole weekend had been perfect, right from the moment Sandra 'cooked' dinner, the moment they gave in to their bodies and their needs, right up to now curled up on the sofa watching one of those murder mystery programmes that are always on Sunday nights.
"As if the detective hasn't guessed who the murder is by now, God if this was one of our investigations I would have made the arrest by now" Sandra huffed sipping her wine.
"Sandra, it's just a show and anyway there are on for about two hours these programmes so they have to pad it out".
"And insults the audience's intelligence in the process, hey why did you turn it off!?"
"Because I can't hear a word they are saying due to your constant moaning and anyway you said you knew who the killer was".
"Yeah, well I wanted to see if my judgement was correct".
"Which, it always is" he said taking her wine glass from her grasp and placing it on the table "besides there is something much more entertaining we could be doing than guessing fictional murderers" he said before his lips danced around hers.
"Sex is all you think about isn't it, Gerry" she said as she kissed him back.
"Nah, not really, I think about you a great deal more, these days".
"Oh really, and what do you think about?"
"I'll show you" he said swooping her off the sofa and into his arms. Sandra yelped in surprise but found herself powerless to resist Gerry Standing.
Sandra rolled over, so she was no longer facing Gerry.
"What's up with you, I thought you enjoyed that" he said cuddling up to her.
"I did, I just can't help but think if Paul Caudwell hadn't walked back into my life, I would have never told you about Amelia and this, we, would never had happened.
"Who's Amelia?"
Sandra sat up and faced him. "My little girl, mine and Paul's little girl. Amelia Zoë Pullman, I didn't get much of a chance to pick out a name it all had to be done so quick" she said welling up again at the thought of her daughter.
"Shh, come here, I think it's a beautiful name" Gerry said cradling her and kissing the top of her head lightly. "What do you mean it all had to be done quickly?" He asked already sure he knew the answer.
"You see when you are about twenty weeks into the pregnancy the baby's pretty much fully formed so they don't actually class it as miscarriage but a still birth. I was induced as soon as they told me I lost the baby, they placed her in my arms and oh Gerry, she was so small so perfect, her eyes were closed and at first I thought she was just asleep and maybe I could wake her, from the second i held her I was in love Gerry, a love I had never felt before or again." Tears paced themselves down her cheeks. "Then they took her from me and informed me that I had register her birth as well as a death certificate, they kept pushing for a name, back they were more forthright not as sympathetic so I picked Amelia because that was the name of my favourite doll as a child, I'd saved it for her and Zoë because I thought it was a bit unusual."
"Shit, Sandra I am so sorry, to think you went through all this alone, can I ask you something?"
"Gerry, it's okay, it's not your fault, yes you can ask me anything, you should know that."
"He looked into her eyes which were glistening with the tears that clouded her perfect eyes, wiping some of them away he said "That church you go to every year is Amelia there?"
Sandra nodded. "When it all happened they asked if I had any family, I couldn't face telling my mother about this so I said no, they said they would take care of the funeral arrangements, they said I could read a poem at a little ceremony in the church hospital if I wanted, but I couldn't I wouldn't have known what to read Gerry, so they said they would scatter her ashes in the church garden if that was okay with me, of course they said I could have done it but-"
"Hey, come on Sandra, it's alright, please don't blame yourself for this-"
"But that's just it Gerry I do, if I had been a better person-"
"Now stop that, there is nothing wrong with who you are" he said placing a finger on her lips in attempt to silence her.
"Gerry, I couldn't even give my own daughter a proper send off, I was the only one in her short little life, I should have been protecting her but I ballsed that up, like I do with everything".
"Sandra, that's not true and you know it, look at what we have done with UCOS, granted you ballsed up big time shooting that dog, which resulted in UCOS but that's been the making of you, and hey you haven't messed things up with us".
"Gerry we have been together for a weekend."
"Yes but in all that time we haven't been apart, its proving that you can live in each other's pockets that shows it can work, come on its late, I'll go back home tonight it's about time I got a clean pair of clothes on, you get some shut eye and I will see you tomorrow".
Sandra held on to his arm stopping him from getting up from her bed, "Gerry stay please I need you."
