Chapter 1: The lettes from no one
The repaired alarm clock rang at six o'clock the next morning. Harry turned it off quickly and dressed silently. He mustn't wake the Dursleys.
He stole downstairs without turning on any of the lights. He was going to wait for the postman on the corner of Privet Drive and get the letters for number four first.
His heart hammered as he crept across the dark hall toward the front door – "AAAAARRGH!" Harry leapt into the air; he'd trodden on something big and squashy on the doormat – something alive!
Harry freaked out and grabbed Dudley's cricket bat and swung it down, making a satisfying crunching noise. The thing on the floor made a gurgling noise, and Harry swung again, then swung again for good measure. Breathing heavily, he flicked on the landing light. To his horror, he saw his uncle in a sleeping bag with a broken nose and several broken teeth.
"Oh shit." Harry said, "Aunt Petunia, I think I've killed Uncle Vernon."
Fortunatly for Harry, Vernon survived and was kept in hospital for several days. On the plus side, Harry managed to get his letter and read it. "School of magic?" he thought, then decided to ask Dudley if he'd sent the letter as a prank.