Snape was disgruntled. His appointment to the infirmary concerning blood in his stool had only confirmed a mild diagnosis of spastic colon, and, to make matters worse, his antidepressants were giving him a painful erection.
Haunting the corridors of Hogwarts was becoming a difficult enterprise without at least two doses of Amitiza and Glycolax every morning, and even then, with the drastic side effects, it was difficult to disappear from the staff's view without an excuse at hand. Like the abrupt whims of nature passing from the summer to the autumn in little less than a week, so too, was nature's call to Snape abrupt and uncomfortable.
"Where are you off to?" McGonagall asked. "It's three in the afternoon and you have a class of sixth-years ready to brew Amortentia."
Snape scowled. "I'm off to shadow that...that Potter boy."
"Not this again."
By the point in which McGonagall had made any sense of Snape's exit, he had long left the confines of the staff quarters. Whilst Snape scoured the third floor of Hogwarts for elusive restroom facilities Harry Potter, protagonist and former child warrior, and his best friend, Ron, were playing Wizard Chubby Bubbies in the Gryffindor common room.
The premise of Wizard Chubby Bubbies is simple. Two young wizards are equipped with a sack of marshmallows procured from Hogsmeade, and attempt to stuff as many of them as possible down one's gullet before either suffocating or regurgitating the lot of them. There is a caveat, however: one must state how many marshmallows they have in their mouth each time a marshmallow is added. The loser, as per the well-enshrined tradition of Wizard Chubby Bubbies, is hung.
Ron put a marshmallow into his mouth. "One chubby bubby. There. Now your turn."
Harry frowned. "Ron, this game isn't exactly challenging. I mean, after all, we are just using one orifice."
"What?" Ron mumbled, marshmallow still firmly lodged in his windpipe.
"Well, let me put it this way. The mouth and digestive system can only be filled so far. Remember that time Madame Pomfrey had to pump Pumpkin Pasties from your stomach after you claimed you could eat a hundred in a single sitting?"
"No."
Harry expectantly grabbed the sack of marshmallows. "Well, regardless, I think we should take Wizard Chubby Bubbies to a more extreme level. Watch closely."
With Ron transfixed, Harry put a marshallow into his nose. "One chubby bubby."
"Neat." Ron raised a marshmallow and jammed it into his ear. "Two chubby bubbies."
Harry placed another marshmallow into his nasal cavity.
Then everything went black.