Title: The Stationary Cupboard Saga: Part 1
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Summary: Sam finds herself locked in a cupboard with someone she hates. Part 1 of many.
Author Notes: Tee-hee. Feedback is always appreciated at this address: jm-webmistress@fsmail.net
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Note: Thank you very much to all of the people that send reviews! I am very grateful! :)
~ The Stationary Cupboard Saga: Part 1 ~
Copyright (c) 2003, Ruth
**********
Sam groaned as the pencil she was using decided to snap halfway through an important experiment. She got up out of her chair and looked at her watch. It read 23:30. If Janet or Colonel O'Neill caught her still working at this time of night, she'd be in a lot of trouble.
Still, she thought to herself, what would Jack or Janet be doing in the stationary cupboard? She decided to chance it anyway, as she could also take some more pens whilst she was there. She opened the door of her lab and looked both ways down the corridor, still unsure as to whether her CO or the SMO would ambush her.
As she walked quietly past the rooms that held her sleeping co-workers, she wondered why it was that she stayed up until the early hours of the morning, doing things that could just as easily wait until the next morning.
Because you like to get things done, she reminded herself. They're so used to it, they expect things to be done.
**********
As she reached the stationary cupboard, however, and went inside, the lights went out.
"Ah!" she groaned, fumbling for the light switch. She suddenly felt the door slam shut behind her, and she fell to the floor on her butt.
"This is turning out to be one of the worst nights of my life!" she grumbled, feeling her way up in the darkness, grateful that no-one had been there to see her fall over.
"On the contrary," a voice replied, "This could be quite fun."
"Oh...my...God!" Sam said slowly, putting her head in her hands. "Please tell me that I'm just imagining this."
"Nah," the male voice replied again, "It's much more fun if you don't."
"For you, maybe," Sam replied, sitting down on what she hoped was the floor.
"Come on!" he smiled, and Sam could practically see the smirk on his face, "This'll be great!"
"You try to make something amusing out of this, McKay, and I'll break your arm," she growled threateningly.
**********
"So..." McKay said, fiddling with a glue stick, "How's your new experiment going?"
"Fine," Sam replied shortly, "I should be up there doing it now, but I had to get locked in this stationary cupboard in the pitch black with you."
"Funny how your sins will find you out," he snidely replied.
"What sin?" Sam snapped, "I'm not doing anything wrong!"
"Well, I'm sure your Colonel would take you over his knee and give you a good spanking if he knew you were still working at 2300 hours." McKay smirked.
SLAP
"Ow! How the hell did you know where to hit me?" he whined, rubbing his cheek.
"I just followed your inflated ego," Sam snidely replied, with a smile spreading over her face. She wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she quite enjoyed their little fights. It was just so damned easy to wind him up.
"At least my ego isn't as inflated as yours!" McKay snapped, "Oh, look, I'm Major Carter, I know everything, blah blah, let's blow up this thingy and endanger the lives of millions of people on the off-chance that my stupid idea will work, blah blah!" He mocked in high falsetto.
SLAP
"Dammit, woman!" he groaned, "Would you stop doing that?"
"I'll stop slapping you if you stop asking for it," Sam replied, feeling along the floor in the darkness for something that she could use as a weapon, possibly a projectile.
"I don't believe that I asked you to slap me," he replied after a while.
"You did," Sam smiled, "In your own little way."
Her smile broadened as her hand closed on what felt like a glue stick. A perfect weapon against him. At least she could give her hands a break.
**********
"What have you been up to in Russia?" Sam asked eventually, "Except for all the pretentious bullshit and butt-snorkelling you must get up to."
"Do you know how hot you are when you're angry?" McKay smiled. "And please, don't slap me again."
THUD
"Ow! What the hell...was that a glue stick?"
"It was indeed. And very well aimed, if I do say so myself," Sam smiled.
"I really do hate you, you know," McKay replied.
"The feeling, I assure you, is mutual, doctor," Sam said. "If anything, I despise you more than you hate me."
"Nah. You fancy me really," McKay grinned. He leant back against a box of pencils and stretched. "I can tell. You're just aggressive because of your passion."
Sam licked her lips. "You see this pencil, McKay? In a minute...it's going to be stuck somewhere...SIDEWAYS!"
**********
"How long have we been in this cupboard?" McKay asked.
"I would estimate about three hours," Sam said.
"Do you think we've got enough oxygen in here?" He continued, "Whilst I would love to spend the last moments of my life with you, I would also like to be able to breathe."
"You can't have it all, McKay," Sam quipped.
"Oh, how very amusing," McKay replied. "You know, sometimes I wonder why the other women here don't like you, but other times I can see why!"
"Ooh!" Sam moaned, feigning upset, "Stop it, McKay, or you're really gonna hurt my feelings!"
"And...when we eventually do get found, everyone will assume that we've been making out," he grinned.
"They can assume what they like," Sam muttered, "I'll soon set them straight."
"I think we're wasting a good opportunity to get to know each other better," he smirked.
"I think I'm wasting a good opportunity to stuff this ruler where the sun doesn't shine," Sam continued, "But you'd probably get off on it."
"Yes, ma'am," he grinned.
In the darkness, Sam couldn't help but smile. She despised the man terribly, but he could make her laugh, and he was a genius. He was just so irritating and cocky with it.
"You're a jerk," Sam commented, with no spite in her voice.
"So are you," he replied.
"I suppose it could be worse," Sam sighed.
"Yeah," McKay replied, "You could have been stuck in here with me and Dr McKenzie!"
"I think I would have killed myself by now if that were true," Sam said.
"So would I," McKay stated, with a small snort.
**********
Suddenly, a light came on from nowhere and they could finally see each other.
Before they could move, the door was forced open and an airman stood in the doorway, looking curiously at them and trying not to smirk.
"Airman," Sam said, pulling herself up off of the floor and exiting with as much dignity as she had left.
When he was sure that she was gone, McKay stood up and shook the airman's hand.
"Cheers, I owe you one," he grinned, and left the room, "I am SO in there!"
THE END
Author's Note: Who should Sam be stuck in a cupboard with next time? Any preferences? Please don't hesitate to send feedback.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Summary: Sam finds herself locked in a cupboard with someone she hates. Part 1 of many.
Author Notes: Tee-hee. Feedback is always appreciated at this address: jm-webmistress@fsmail.net
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Note: Thank you very much to all of the people that send reviews! I am very grateful! :)
~ The Stationary Cupboard Saga: Part 1 ~
Copyright (c) 2003, Ruth
**********
Sam groaned as the pencil she was using decided to snap halfway through an important experiment. She got up out of her chair and looked at her watch. It read 23:30. If Janet or Colonel O'Neill caught her still working at this time of night, she'd be in a lot of trouble.
Still, she thought to herself, what would Jack or Janet be doing in the stationary cupboard? She decided to chance it anyway, as she could also take some more pens whilst she was there. She opened the door of her lab and looked both ways down the corridor, still unsure as to whether her CO or the SMO would ambush her.
As she walked quietly past the rooms that held her sleeping co-workers, she wondered why it was that she stayed up until the early hours of the morning, doing things that could just as easily wait until the next morning.
Because you like to get things done, she reminded herself. They're so used to it, they expect things to be done.
**********
As she reached the stationary cupboard, however, and went inside, the lights went out.
"Ah!" she groaned, fumbling for the light switch. She suddenly felt the door slam shut behind her, and she fell to the floor on her butt.
"This is turning out to be one of the worst nights of my life!" she grumbled, feeling her way up in the darkness, grateful that no-one had been there to see her fall over.
"On the contrary," a voice replied, "This could be quite fun."
"Oh...my...God!" Sam said slowly, putting her head in her hands. "Please tell me that I'm just imagining this."
"Nah," the male voice replied again, "It's much more fun if you don't."
"For you, maybe," Sam replied, sitting down on what she hoped was the floor.
"Come on!" he smiled, and Sam could practically see the smirk on his face, "This'll be great!"
"You try to make something amusing out of this, McKay, and I'll break your arm," she growled threateningly.
**********
"So..." McKay said, fiddling with a glue stick, "How's your new experiment going?"
"Fine," Sam replied shortly, "I should be up there doing it now, but I had to get locked in this stationary cupboard in the pitch black with you."
"Funny how your sins will find you out," he snidely replied.
"What sin?" Sam snapped, "I'm not doing anything wrong!"
"Well, I'm sure your Colonel would take you over his knee and give you a good spanking if he knew you were still working at 2300 hours." McKay smirked.
SLAP
"Ow! How the hell did you know where to hit me?" he whined, rubbing his cheek.
"I just followed your inflated ego," Sam snidely replied, with a smile spreading over her face. She wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she quite enjoyed their little fights. It was just so damned easy to wind him up.
"At least my ego isn't as inflated as yours!" McKay snapped, "Oh, look, I'm Major Carter, I know everything, blah blah, let's blow up this thingy and endanger the lives of millions of people on the off-chance that my stupid idea will work, blah blah!" He mocked in high falsetto.
SLAP
"Dammit, woman!" he groaned, "Would you stop doing that?"
"I'll stop slapping you if you stop asking for it," Sam replied, feeling along the floor in the darkness for something that she could use as a weapon, possibly a projectile.
"I don't believe that I asked you to slap me," he replied after a while.
"You did," Sam smiled, "In your own little way."
Her smile broadened as her hand closed on what felt like a glue stick. A perfect weapon against him. At least she could give her hands a break.
**********
"What have you been up to in Russia?" Sam asked eventually, "Except for all the pretentious bullshit and butt-snorkelling you must get up to."
"Do you know how hot you are when you're angry?" McKay smiled. "And please, don't slap me again."
THUD
"Ow! What the hell...was that a glue stick?"
"It was indeed. And very well aimed, if I do say so myself," Sam smiled.
"I really do hate you, you know," McKay replied.
"The feeling, I assure you, is mutual, doctor," Sam said. "If anything, I despise you more than you hate me."
"Nah. You fancy me really," McKay grinned. He leant back against a box of pencils and stretched. "I can tell. You're just aggressive because of your passion."
Sam licked her lips. "You see this pencil, McKay? In a minute...it's going to be stuck somewhere...SIDEWAYS!"
**********
"How long have we been in this cupboard?" McKay asked.
"I would estimate about three hours," Sam said.
"Do you think we've got enough oxygen in here?" He continued, "Whilst I would love to spend the last moments of my life with you, I would also like to be able to breathe."
"You can't have it all, McKay," Sam quipped.
"Oh, how very amusing," McKay replied. "You know, sometimes I wonder why the other women here don't like you, but other times I can see why!"
"Ooh!" Sam moaned, feigning upset, "Stop it, McKay, or you're really gonna hurt my feelings!"
"And...when we eventually do get found, everyone will assume that we've been making out," he grinned.
"They can assume what they like," Sam muttered, "I'll soon set them straight."
"I think we're wasting a good opportunity to get to know each other better," he smirked.
"I think I'm wasting a good opportunity to stuff this ruler where the sun doesn't shine," Sam continued, "But you'd probably get off on it."
"Yes, ma'am," he grinned.
In the darkness, Sam couldn't help but smile. She despised the man terribly, but he could make her laugh, and he was a genius. He was just so irritating and cocky with it.
"You're a jerk," Sam commented, with no spite in her voice.
"So are you," he replied.
"I suppose it could be worse," Sam sighed.
"Yeah," McKay replied, "You could have been stuck in here with me and Dr McKenzie!"
"I think I would have killed myself by now if that were true," Sam said.
"So would I," McKay stated, with a small snort.
**********
Suddenly, a light came on from nowhere and they could finally see each other.
Before they could move, the door was forced open and an airman stood in the doorway, looking curiously at them and trying not to smirk.
"Airman," Sam said, pulling herself up off of the floor and exiting with as much dignity as she had left.
When he was sure that she was gone, McKay stood up and shook the airman's hand.
"Cheers, I owe you one," he grinned, and left the room, "I am SO in there!"
THE END
Author's Note: Who should Sam be stuck in a cupboard with next time? Any preferences? Please don't hesitate to send feedback.