Grotesque. How he hated that word. He despised it. He loathed it with all his being because it described him. It defined him.
When the injury was still fresh, he was just as naive as everyone else; believing it was just a storyline and that nothing was seriously wrong with him. However, as time went on, not only did he believe it was true; everything else was a problem as well. All of his face, his neck, his shoulders, arms, torso, hips, legs, feet; they were all disgusting to him now. He was disgusting – a repulsive freak.
That's why he hid his face inside and outside of the ring. While wrestling, his motives for wearing the mask weren't questioned; people just simply thought that he was just doing what creative told him to do. Outside of the ring, however, he had to make his own excuses. He complained of migraines that were never real, just so he could be left alone in a dark room hiding his hideousness from the world. And when he was forced outside, he often wore hoods and sunglasses.
It was a sad fact, but not even his closest friends or family could see him – That included Ted. Especially Ted. Especially his Ted.
Ted wasn't just his best friend; Ted was his rock, his home, his everything. And as much as it killed him, he didn't want his Ted to see him like this. Ever.
To him, Ted was beautiful and deserved nothing less than that. And he…he was grotesque.
A knock on his hotel door startled him and snapped him out of his thoughts. He took one last look at the mirror in which he was examining his flaws, then pulled up his hood and put on his sunglasses. He crept over to the door, peered through the peephole and sighed; it was Ted. His friend knocked again with a bit more force. Drawing in a deep breath, Cody cracked the door open to shoo him away.
"Ted I –"
"We need to talk." Ted cut him off and slid into the room before Cody could stop him. He turned on the lights and Cody winced at the brightness.
"What the fuck man!" Cody yelled, "You know I have a-"
Once again, Ted cut him off. "Show me your wrists." He ordered firmly, showing that he wasn't going to take no for an answer.
Cody gulped nervously and hoped Ted didn't notice, "What?"
"Show me your wrists." He spoke each word slowly. Cody shook his head no and backed away. Ted sighed and stepped forward. Before Cody could do anything about it, Ted grabbed his wrists, pushed up the sleeves of the hoodie and revealed numerous scars. They covered his wrists, many overlapping.
Slowly, Ted rubbed his thumb over the scars and instantly Cody yanked his hands away. That was too much for him to handle. He can't let Ted do that. He can barely function when he's in the ring with Ted, but its worse when it's just the two of them. Alone. And there is no reason Ted has too touch him, but instead he chooses to. And that drives Cody crazy.
"Cody…why?" Ted asked with concern heavy in his voice. He had heard from others that Cody was cutting himself, but he had just hoped they were just rumors…obviously they were not.
Cody shrugged and pushed his sleeves back down. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to admit how insecure he was. How scarred he is that one day, Ted's just going to give up and leave him. And he can't live without Ted.
"Why?" Ted persisted, his voice just above a whisper.
Cody sighed, "Because…Because…Because I'm not good enough."
"What?" Ted asked – not so much because he didn't hear Cody, but because he couldn't believe the words he had spoken.
"For Christ's sake! I said I'm not good enough!" He snapped and Ted nearly flinched. Cody never, ever yelled at Ted. "Now just leave, I'm sure you don't want to watch me wallow in self-pity."
"What-What do you mean you're not good enough?" Ted asked hesitantly, hoping that Cody wasn't going to lash out.
Cody sighed, "I mean exactly that; I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for anything..." Daringly and quietly he added, "Not for you…"
"Don't say that. It's not true. Cody you're amazing."
"I'm a gross, disfigured freak!" He exclaimed, yanking down his hood and throwing off his sunglasses. He pointed to his reflection in the mirror on the wall. "Look at me; I'm disgusting, Ted."
Ted shook his head. He moved next to Cody and wrapped and arm around his waist then whispered in his ear, "You're beautiful, Cody." Cody looked away but Ted gently took Cody's chin in his hand and forced his gaze on the mirror again. "You're absolutely beautiful. Don't you dare feel any different."
Cody turned his head to his friend, looking him in the eyes. Only then did he notice how close they were. If he even moved just an inch he'd be kissing Ted. "You really think so, Teddy?" He asked softly.
Ted nodded, "I do." Slowly he leaned in and placed a kiss on Cody's lips. Shocked at first, Cody just stood there but a few seconds he fount his arms wrapped around Ted and his hands running through his hair. They pulled apart. "I really do."
The next Monday on Raw, Cody ditched the mask and felt no need to hide his face from the world.
A/N: This was just my little creative twist on why Cody is no longer wearing the mask. Anyways, I hope whoever read this enjoyed it. :D
