Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I am not, in any way, claiming or producing money from this fiction.
Summary: Sasuke, even with his 'legendary' sharingan eyes, missed the laxatives that Naruto and Sakura had sneakily placed in his food.
AN: I thought of this while on the toilet :D Short is how I like it. And I do like Sasuke.
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A Laxative Effect
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Under the dim lights, two voices could be heard.
"Heeheeheehee."
After their many days of plotting, their plan could now commence.
"This... and this."
"You forgot the main ingredient!"
"Patience is a virtue, my friend."
A punch could be heard as a female voice screamed, "I am not your friend."
"Okay, okay! We're boyfriend and girlfriend."
Another punch. "No. Just get on with it."
–
Sasuke waited for his team members. Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi.
Sakura would come first, and then Naruto would follow, and Kakashi would arrive three hours later.
As he had suspected, Sakura came first.
"Hey! Sasuke!" Sasuke ignored her screechy voice – he was the epitome of cool and emo for a reason.
"Guess what?!" Sakura paused and waited for a moment for Sasuke to reply. She was greeted with the chirping of the birds.
"I got you an OBENTO!" Sakura continued as if nothing had happened. "I made it all from scratch. It's really, really cute and yummy. You should have it for lunch."
Sasuke glanced at the lunch box. It was pink, and girly. Was he really expected to eat from that? "No."
"No...? You've hurt my feelings, Sasuke!" And Sakura ran away... just as Naruto appeared.
"Hey! Sasuke!" Sasuke ignored Naruto's annoying voice.
"Guess what?!" Naruto paused, just like Sakura. He was also greeted with the chirping of the birds.
"I got you an OBENTO! And I made it all from scratch. It's really cool and delicious. You should have it for lunch."
Sasuke twitched. Naruto had said basically the same words as Sakura. Did he really expect to be accepted?
"No." Sasuke glanced at the blue lunch box.
"No...? You've hurt my feelings, Sasuke!" And Naruto fled, just like Sakura had.
–
"Sasuke." Kakashi greeted him. "Where's Sakura and Naruto?"
"I don't know." Sasuke replied, bored.
"Well. Since they're not here. I want you to have these lunch boxes that I made for them."
Kakashi presented the neatly wrapped boxes. One pink. One blue. Sasuke hadn't even registered they were the exact same as the ones that Naruto and Sakura had tried to give him.
"Hmm... thanks." Sasuke took one.
"Take both."
Sasuke eyed his teacher.
"You'll need the energy." Kakashi explained.
Sasuke took both.
–
Kakashi looked at Naruto and Sakura.
"My porn?"
"Here." Sakura handed it back to the rightful owner.
"So... what was in those boxes?"
"Food." Naruto grinned.
They watched Sasuke open the boxes and start eating from it. Well, Kakashi didn't. He just read his porn.
"Heeheehee." Naruto snickered.
Sasuke sneezed.
Soon, he had finished all of it.
–
"Where's Sasuke today?" Kakashi asked
"At a waterfall perhaps," Naruto smiled
Sasuke was on the toilet. He had been situated there for the last twenty-four hours thanks to the lunch box that Kakashi had given him. And, he just had to have eaten both of them.
"I'm sure he's having a great time there. After all, the sound of a waterfall is beautiful." Sakura agreed.
Sasuke was hearing the sound similar to a waterfall... except along the lines of: Plop. Sploosh. Plop. Sploosh. Plop. Sploosh. Plop... at the speed of a machine gun of course.
–
The next few days, Sasuke was seen recovering in Konoha hospital. It had been speculated that Sasuke had been making noises similar to his diarrhea when he talked. He had been sent into a psychiatric ward for that, but he was removed when they realized what might have actually happened to one of their most legendary child prodigy.
Sasuke was busy. He was contemplating his possible plans for revenge.
Neck wringing... too kind.
Head down an actual waterfall... still too kind.
Disembowelment... still too kind. He had to think along the lines of evil, evil, evil.
Laxatives in lunch boxes...? Only if it was three whole jars full.
Yes. Three jars full.
Sakura and Naruto had only placed three milligrams of powder over his food, equal to three pills.
Three jars full equaled... death, by diarrhea.
–
Sasuke's bum still hurt when he was released.
Like he had given birth to an obese child, that decided to come out from his anus.
Like he had deposited all his waste, and many more other things into the toilet.
Yes, Sasuke would get his revenge.
–
The End!
Hope you enjoyed it!
