Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Frozen universe including, but not limited to, characters, names of places, lyrics, dialogue, or any other piece of product. Disney retains all the rights to this universe. I am making no money or receiving any kind of compensation, material or non-material, for this fiction. It's all for fun. Please don't sue me. I do claim the writing, the idea behind this particular narrative, and any peripheral characters or locations created to augment Disney's work.
A/N: Oh no. Frozen? a new story? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHY DOES DISNEY CONTINUE TO RUIN MY LIFE? sorry. i should have never gone to see Frozen. never ever. now all i can think about is kristoff and anna and anna and kristoff and… sorry. i just can't.
o000o
Kristoff wanted to break something, anything, everything. He had only lived in the palace for three days and he already chafed everywhere. He was used to being on the move. He was used to the sky, the earth and dirt on his hands; not walls and windows keeping everything calm, clean, and quiet. He was used to moving and working and fighting, not sitting and watching and waiting. He was used to being alone (because, when he was honest, Sven didn't really count as a human companion) but now there was Anna.
Anna was soft and sweet like spun sugar. She was fearless and wild like a falcon in flight. She was light and air and laughter. She was rock and flint and fire and he had never met anyone quite like her.
Kristoff wasn't the kind of guy that fell in love, not at first sight, not ever really, but he could not deny the inexorable pull she had over him.
It wasn't love. It wasn't. He told himself so over and over again because you don't just go around falling in love with people. It just wasn't the thing to do, but Anna….
He liked her. Sure he did. No one could begrudge him that. Besides, he had stayed in worse places between gigs than in a castle. So he lived in a room that was too large and too small all at once and tried his very best to not spend more than one minute he didn't have to inside of those walls.
o000o
Sven didn't like their arrangement much either. He told Kristoff so every time Kristoff came to visit him in the royal stables and pasture (which was often). Kristoff smoothed Sven's muzzle and made promises that they'd get back out there soon. He just needed time to figure out their next move. Having a queen that could produce ice from her fingertips at any time probably wasn't great for business. Not having a sleigh didn't help matters any either. Then there was Anna….
Anna and with those taunting hips hidden beneath twirling skirts and those eyes that flashed so bright they blinded him. Anna and her careful braids that he wanted to ruin with reckless fingers. Anna and that sweet berry smile that he wanted to kiss and kiss until he was the only one she smiled for. Anna and the way she made his head swim and how she made him oscillate between the need to ravage her and the need to protect her. If he wasn't careful, she overwhelmed his every waking thought until there was nothing left but her.
He stroked the silky nose of his oldest friend and fed him the carrots he pilfered from the castle kitchen.
"Don't worry, Sven. I'll figure this all out. I promise."
Sven looked up at him from his carrot and shrugged because it didn't really matter what he thought.
o000o
Anna spent a lot of time with Elsa those first few days. He supposed it was to be expected. Sisters driven apart by a terrible secret that wasn't a secret anymore blah blah blah blah blah. That and Anna had never really had a house guest before, so… how was she supposed to know what to do with him?
He tried to not let it bother him that he was just hanging around waiting for her time like spare change, but the lack of her rubbed against his conscious each passing moment. He reminded himself that he liked being alone. That was why he worked alone, traveled alone, ate alone, slept alone… it was easier. There was no giant gap in your chest, no gnawing feeling in your gut, just peace and quiet.
He liked being alone. He sure did. So he focused on that.
He spent most of his time wandering through the castle avoiding servants. There was a lot of room to wander, and a lot of servants to avoid, so it turned into quite the game. Up halls and down halls, trying doors, looking out windows, exploring gardens, it was a maze that he had down by the second afternoon. By the third, the day that Anna finally gave him "the grand tour", he was already figuring out the quickest way to get from one side of the castle from the other without going in certain rooms. It was fun. Kinda.
It was fun, however, to listen to Anna explain the spaces he had already visited. Each person in every painting had a name, even if she had no idea what their real name was. Each room had a routine, a game she would play to pass the time.
This is where I beat myself at chess!
Here is where I practice dancing. I can see myself in that big mirror. She gave a demonstration.
This is the best room for drawing, but only on sunny days.
It went on and on. The suit of armor was named Toulouse, the stuffed pheasant was Reina, she broke her own breath holding record on that couch... And he knew this was the first time she had ever gotten to share any of this with anyone. The familiar ache of a lonely childhood crept through his chest.
He knew alone inside and out, but even at his lowest he had Sven, then the trolls, when he really needed someone. It was becoming clear that Anna had no one and hadn't had anyone in a long time. The way she talked was she was trying to fit fifteen years of human contact into fifteen minutes and he wished he could reassure her that he had no plans of leaving any time soon.
He took her hand in his. It was soft, impossibly small, with fingers so thin he would break them like twigs if he squeezed too hard, but her touch still made his pulse race.
Anna smiled up at him from under shy lashes and he couldn't help his own lips from turning up at the corners in return.
No. He didn't mind being alone. It was just that being alone with Anna was better.
o000o
He wasn't really into being blindfolded. Or being led places blindfolded. Or really anything that hinged on him implicitly trusting another human being for any period of time because it had never worked out great for him in the past, but when Anna snuck into his room early the morning of the seventh day, he couldn't say no. He didn't think she would let him.
She led him quickly down through the halls and out the doors. He felt the sun on his skin, the fresh air ran fingers through his hair, and he wasn't ready to admit that the reason why he hadn't ripped off his blindfold at this point was because he was actually having fun. That is what led him to being breathless and the closest thing to giddy he had ever felt in his life (lamppost incident aside) that he did not really care what came at the end of this jaunt.
That was until he saw what awaited him.
Anna bought him a sleigh.
No. Not just a sleigh - a masterpiece. It was like his dreams had exploded out of his brain and taken solid shape. No one had ever given him something even close to this great, and even if it was a repayment for the sleigh she had inadvertently crashed, he didn't care. It was like she had given him wings.
So he kissed her, the first real, solid evidence of his affection. The first time he could point to a moment and say he ever really meant a kiss. The first time it was something more than a desperate grab at being less than lonely. And he liked it. He liked it more than he cared to admit, but not enough to stop the roll of his eyes when she put the medal marking his new title of "Ice Master and Deliverer" around his neck.
o000o
That night, Elsa froze the dinner table.
It wasn't her fault, not entirely at least. Kristoff wasn't used to eating with so much fuss and formality. When one of the servants came to serve him his soup, he knocked the tray out of the servant's hands with a misplaced elbow. The sisters were talking, distracted, so the crash came as a surprise. Both startled at the noise, but when Elsa's hand hit the table, the entire surface, and all of its contents, froze to a solid sheet of ice.
No one said anything for a moment. It was just the three of them at the table, all looking at each other, all unsure what to do. The servant hurried to clean the mess off of the floor and scurried from the room.
"I - I'm sorry. I didn't mean to - uh - you know." Kristoff sputtered, unsure if he was apologizing for the spill or the ice or the awkwardness thereafter. Maybe it was for all of it.
"It's okay." Anna smiled at him across the table. "Elsa can just unfreeze it and everything will be just like it was before. Right, Elsa?"
They both looked at the queen where she sat at the head of the table. She was staring at her hands. Her narrow shoulders trembled.
"Elsa?" Anna reached out to touch her sister's arm.
Elsa flinched away.
"I think I will take my dinner in my room tonight." Elsa's words were measured.
"No! Elsa, please stay. Nothing happened. We are all fine." Anna stood with her sister. Kristoff followed suit.
"Yeah. My soup was way too hot anyway." Kristoff tried to make it better, but it fell on deaf ears.
"You two please stay and eat. I'll see you when it is safe." And with that, Elsa defrosted the table and was gone.
Kristoff looked across the table at Anna as the grand door shut, looking for a cue for what to do, but she was already running after her sister. Then he was alone and had the distinct feeling that his situation wasn't going to change. So he sat and took a bite of his soup.
It was ice cold.
o000o
He wanted to go find Anna and make sure she was okay. He wanted to fold her into his arms and chase away her demons, but he didn't. He couldn't. It was all too confusing.
How much exactly was he allowed to do or say within his new title of Ice Master, and kind of Anna's boyfriend. Was he her boyfriend? Was that what this was? Or was she just so lonely and confused that she would take whatever attention she could get and he was just a case of the right place at the right time?
They were different. He knew that. He'd always known that, but a princess and an iceman? How could he ever think that was going to work? Anna had fallen for that scum bag Hans. It was clear that her choices in partners were impulsive and misguided at best. Why should he be an exception?
The more he thought about it, the more his head hurt.
He needed some space to think, to breathe, to be alone and figure out this mess of feelings that tangled tighter in his chest each time he saw her.
He went to the stables that night after dinner and made the necessary arrangements.
That night, in the dark of his room, he fell asleep wondering just exactly where Anna had freckles and where she didn't.
o000o
"Take me with you."
She showed up at his door before the first light of dawn crept over the horizon.
"What? Why are you – what are you – how did you...?" He hadn't told her he was going. He left a message with a valet of the details, but he figured the sisters needed some space just as much as he did. Apparently he figured wrong.
"I saw the stable master bring out your sleigh last night and ready it for a journey. I want to go with you."
This was assertive Anna. This was the same Anna who found him in the hay of that crook Oaken's barn and roped him into the craziest adventure he could imagine, but he could see the waver in her confidence beneath the surface. It looked like she was in no shape to go on a two week trek into the mountains where miserable cold and life threatening danger was a way of life. He could tell she had been crying and he wondered if she had slept at all.
That thing, that need to shelter her swelled up inside of him like a wave and crashed against his resolve. How could he keep her safe if he left her behind? How could he keep her safe if she came with him? He couldn't either way, but at least if she stayed behind she'd have the palace guards to keep an eye on her. It was best to stick to the original plan.
"Not this time." He adjusted his pack on his shoulders. The neck of the lute she'd given him knocked the back of his head. "This isn't exactly a joy ride."
"I'm not asking." Her mouth set a firm line.
"Neither am I." He pulled his hat down over forehead.
She raised her chin, defiance blazing, and crossed her arms over her chest.
"You do not get to tell me 'no'." There was a challenge there that made him balk, a pretense of authority that reminded him exactly why he stayed away from people in the first place.
"Right. Except in this case – I do." He didn't have time for this. "I'll see you around, Princess." He stepped past her with stiff legs.
"Elsa won't open her door."
He didn't turn around, but he stopped in his tracks. He knew if he turned, he was done for. He stayed still and knew that if he really cared for her, he would keep walking. He'd save her from herself by not giving in, but the crack he heard in Anna's voice wouldn't let him go.
"She won't open her door, won't answer when I knock, and who knows how long that will be? She's stayed in there for years before and I just can't –," her voice broke again and Kristoff knew she was fighting back tears, because she didn't cry. No – she was too tough for that. "I won't be alone like that again. I won't. I won't!"
He could not move, could not breathe, because every fractured edge of her feelings stabbed at his conscious. Inside him, two voices raged war. Go! Leave her! It will be easier this way. She doesn't understand what we need. Another (that sounded suspiciously like Sven) said just the opposite: Love her. Take her. We need her. His body strained under the conflict.
"Please." Her honesty drained her ammunition, her fight, and all she could do now was ask. "Please let me come with you."
He dropped his chin to his chest. He knew what it was to be left behind all too well, but this… there was no winning here.
"It won't be easy." He tried to keep the growl out of his voice. It was backbreaking work and exhaustion that crept into your bones.
"I know."
She knew. The voice inside snorted. No – he knew. It was all he knew, just like all she knew was living in a castle.
"We travel light and fast. There isn't a lot of room in the sled for extra girly stuff."
"I don't need much."
"It's going to be cold and boring and miserable most of the time."
"I turned into an ice statue. I can deal with cold."
She had a point, but he would never admit it. She was tougher than he gave her credit for.
"I leave in ten minutes. If you are in the sleigh before I go – I suppose I can't very well kick out the princess." Not a yes, not a no, but who was he kidding? It was practically a gift wrapped invitation.
He was only two steps down the hall when she throttled him from behind. Her tiny arms encircled his broad waist and squeezed. It took everything in him to not respond to her touch beyond standing still. After all, he was upset that she ignored his better judgment.
"Thank you." She sighed against his back.
Somewhere deep inside of him, two little voices also sighed but for two different reasons
He hoped against all hope that he wasn't making a huge mistake.
o000o
Sven gave a snort that said she's coming!? Kristoff patted the reindeer's nose in understanding as he checked to make sure his friend was rigged onto the sleigh properly. By the time he was done with his inspection, Anna was seated on the passenger side. Her hands rested primly on her lap, and she had the twinkle of wanderlust in her eyes. The kid really needed to get out more.
He placed his pack in the back before climbing up beside Anna, and noticed her small pack resting on top of their food supplies. She didn't need much, indeed. Her pack was half the size of his. He bit back the urge to ask her if she had brought all the essentials (he'd packed food for two) and grabbed the reigns instead. It wasn't his idea to have her come on this excursion and if she was uncomfortable because she forgot to bring a blanket – it served her right.
"Last chance to turn back." Dawn was breaking and he liked how smooth her skin looked in the soft light. "You sure about this?"
"I'm sure." She said, sliding her fingers over his free hand.
His body sparked like it always did whenever their skin touched. For one brief moment, he thought that maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.
o000o
Arendelle was four hours behind them and with every passing hoof beat, Kristoff felt simultaneous relief and anxiety. Relief because the familiarity of this routine was life affirming and energizing. Anxiety because there was ninety pounds of pure energy riding next to him and he still resented the overwhelming need he felt to take care of her.
If she was so tough and able – she would have to pull her own weight. If she was not going to let him take care of her by staying behind when he told her to – she would just have to keep herself safe. He didn't even want her here! At least part of him didn't. The selfish, scared, sniveling part of him – but a part nonetheless.
Let her get herself killed. That'd show her.
He spent the next several minutes convincing himself that he would absolutely not save her if she needed it. It just encouraged her to be reckless. If she hadn't gotten engaged to that bozo after two minutes her sister wouldn't have frozen the entire world and he never would have gotten into this mess in the first place. He'd never have talked to a snowman, or crashed his sleigh in a ravine, or outrun a giant snow monster by rappelling down a cliff, or felt just how warm and soft a woman could be in a kiss, or – oh hell.
Who was he trying to kid? He'd spend the rest of his life saving Anna if he could, and it looked like she was going to do everything to make sure he had plenty of opportunities to do so.
o000o
They hit a bump and the wagon mount his sleigh was strapped to jolted to the side. He hooked an arm around Anna's waist to keep her from careening from her seat before he had a thought. They stayed pressed together like that much longer than was strictly necessary before Kristoff took back his arm with a brusque:
"Pay more attention, would ya? You're going to get yourself killed."
He didn't complain when she scooted close and rested her head on his shoulder.
o000o
"Do you want to play a guessing game?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"It can be a lot of fun. I'll show you. I'm going to describe something I see and then you have to guess what it is."
"Is it a tree?"
"Kristoff!"
"Well, is it?"
"You have to wait until I describe it."
"No I don't, because I am not playing."
"Fine. Maybe we should play it sometime when we aren't in a forest."
o000o
They make good time and were at the rest point an hour before sundown. It was a familiar place for Kristoff, a clearing he'd camped in more time than he could count, and it felt more like home than any four walls he'd ever lived in. They weren't high enough up in the mountains to hit snow, but Kristoff knew that a chill would settle on the world as soon as the sun went down. That is why he went about setting up camp in a hurry. He needed to get his tent up, a fire built, and the food hoisted up out of reach before it got dark.
Anna jumped out of the sleigh and walked to the fire ring that lived at the center of the clearing. The rocks were charred black and gray from previous fires.
"These little guys aren't more of your family, are they?" She nudged one with her toe.
"Trolls are not the same as rocks." He snapped.
"It was a joke. Calm down, grumpy." She came back over to where he was unloading the sleigh and grabbed her pack. "What can I do to help?"
"Stay out of the way." He'd never been much of the teacher type and didn't see why he should start now. A princess wasn't exactly someone who needed to know how to setup a camp.
"Fine." She sniffed. "I'll just go for a little walk so I don't disturb you." She gave a dramatic bow and he gave her a stern look over the crate of camping supplies he was unpacking.
"You know I didn't mean it like that." He said, but she was already on her way into the woods. "Don't go too far! The wolves will be waking up soon."
He'd be damned if he went looking for her, but with every rustle of every branch he felt the need to go investigate. You know – to protect the camp.
Sven watched all of this with a smirk.
o000o
Ten minutes later, Anna stumbled into the clearing with her arms piled so high with sticks and twigs that he could barely see her face. She dumped them in the fire ring, several twigs hooked into her braids and on the front of her dress, and smirked at Kristoff. He looked at her from where he pounded a tent stake into the ground and could do nothing to stop the smile that cracked across his face.
o000o
"You take the tent. Sven and I will sleep out here by the fire." They'd finished their simple dinner of root vegetables, hard tack, and salted meat a few minutes before. "We have an early start tomorrow."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I'm sure. That way I can keep an eye on the fire."
"No. I mean – are you sure you don't want to sleep in the tent?"
He frowned. Hadn't he just told her that – twice?
"You get the tent, Anna."
"No. Ugh. I mean…" She looked at her feet. Was she blushing? Was he? "I mean – do you want to share? The tent I mean. It is big enough for two."
She looked up at him from beneath long lashes and he tried to swallow, but his throat was suddenly too small. Was she asking… could she possibly be saying… did she really want to… what exactly was happening? His mind refused to believe the conclusion it jumped to. There was just no way. She was absolutely not inviting him into the tent for that, but that was all he could picture.
"It was just an idea. I mean – if you hate it we can just forget it. I just - I didn't want you to be mad at me for taking your tent. I'm not that big. If I scrunch on one side, you'd fit too. It would be tight – sure – it is small tent, but I think we could make it work. If you wanted to. "
She was doing that thing where she talked too fast because she was nervous, and his head spun to try and take it all in. It was difficult to find room to process anything outside of the idea of Anna soft and warm and vulnerable and close. She'd been close all day, but this kind of close was different. It was inescapable.
He was supposed to be mad at her for being here. He was supposed to be distant and to make excursions as his sidekick as unattractive as possible. Instead, his body responded to the idea of her being so accessible. His blood warmed. His mind clouded. She was still talking, but he wasn't listening. He was too busy scrambling for a way to explain to Anna why this wasn't a great idea, but the words wouldn't come.
That was why he stepped forward, took her face in his hands, and pressed his mouth to hers. She stiffened at first, sucking in air through her nose and backbone going rigid, but he held her against him. Her steel disappeared with the surprise. She sighed against him. He felt her hands spread across his chest and slide up his shoulders. Thin fingers wove into the hair at the nape of his neck. Shivers raced down his spine at their delicate touch.
His hands glided from her face to wrap around her back. He pulled her closer, closer, forcing her to tilt her head back and her mouth to open under his. He sucked her bottom lip between his. He felt her stuttered breath as much as he heard it. The fingers in his hair tightened, begging with her body, and fueling the fire stoked in his belly.
This was how he wanted to kiss her from the first moment she stormed into the barn where he and Sven were tucked in for the night. She'd been so odd, demanding and diminutive all at once. He'd wanted to kiss her like this just to get her to leave him alone. Now he wanted to kiss her like this because it made his heart ache to think it had ever not known her. He wanted to kiss her until she was limp and breathless in his arms, until she couldn't think or fight or resist, until he could understand the splinter she'd become in his mind.
She whimpered against his mouth and the sound ran through him like a lightning bolt. Forget being alone. Forget needing space. Forget any time that ever existed before Anna and her strawberry tongue. This was what he wanted, no matter how much he tried to talk himself out of it. This, this, and all of this – but there were Rules about Things Like This and Matters of Propriety, which is why he tore his mouth off of hers.
Even in the dim light, he could tell she was flushed. The way she looked at him with those wide eyes was exactly why he took her by the shoulders and pressed her back away from him.
"You take the tent. Alone." He said once he caught his breath. "You take the tent." All of the places where she had been pressed up against him were now so cold in the night air that he regretted each syllable.
He dropped his hands off of her shoulders and took another step back. She pressed two lithe fingers to her lips as if she could keep his kiss there a little longer, and it took everything within him not to help her out with that.
"Goodnight, Anna." He didn't recognize his voice.
At that, she gave him a strange, sated smile from behind her fingers. Her eyelashes fluttered and why was he sending her off alone again?
"Goodnight, Kristoff." She turned and disappeared into the tent.
All he could do was watch her go.
o000o
A/N: this is going places. i cannot apologize for that.
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