Leaving
Nick has to decide whether or not to leave Briarwood once all is said and done.
"Are you sure that you should go?"
Clare watched her cousin pack his bags, all two of them. He often packed light. Her smile wavered and she bit her lip. Her Harry Potter T-shirt and flowy skirt stuck out in the darkened room. Nick smiled and turned to her. "Summer's over, Clare. I've gotta go back."
The blonde girl shook her head. "I know, I know. But I'm going to miss you," she said with a slight wince. She was clutching a book in her arms, one that Nick thought was her copy of The Deathly Hallows.
Nick sat on his bed, helmet by his side. He shoved it off and allowed Clare a place to sit. She did.
Clare clutched the book closer and nearly cried. "It's just so sudden. Where are you going to go? You said you weren't planning on going to college. So where would you go?"
The younger boy shrugged, leaned back on his palms. "Mom's been asking me that question all day. I still don't have an answer."
"Sorry."
"Don't be sorry. I just need to figure out what I'm going to do."
"I don't think you're planning well for this."
Nick sighed, "I know I'm not. It's just all a bit crazy right now, you know?"
Clare didn't know. "How is it crazy? We won. We defeated The Master and order has been restored. You're a local hero. You could stay here if you wanted."
There was a sad exhale and Clare knew she was doing something wrong. "I don't mean to keep you down-"
"You're not keeping me down."
"I don't believe that." Clare stood up and sat parallel him on his chair. Her eyes were deep in thought, showing her conflict more than any other part of her. "I think that you're so caught up in what you want other people to want you to do. You're doing the right thing."
"What's the right thing?" Nick asked, laying back onto the bed.
Clare smiled sadly. "Leaving. Breathing. Being on your own."
Nick sat up again. "You mean it?"
"Yes."
There was a spacey look around Nick's eyes.
"You know, I never would have imagined this."
"Being a hero?"
"Being a cousin."
"Oh? Why? Am I such a horrible cousin that you couldn't have dreamed up a nightmare this bad?"
"No, of course not." Nick was serious then, but soon loosened up. "I didn't think my family wanted me, you know? I mean, it's not like I had any information on them. Sometimes biological parents leave their kids with information. Sometimes they'll say something like 'call this number when you're eighteen if you need something' or whatever. My parents never did that."
"Your parents were potentially dying on a battlefield."
"Yes, I know."
"I didn't mean it like that."
"Like what?"
"All mopey and patronizing," Clare replied hesitantly.
"I know. I just thought that having 'real' parents would be great. I hate that world now. 'Real.' What is real?"
Clare had to think for a moment. What was real? "I think it's when something causes a feeling," she said finally.
"What makes you say that?" Nick was sitting up again, looking at her, while Clare fumbled with the book she had brought in. "The feeling part? I figured you would have said something like 'anything is real' because you tend to have that personality."
Clare made a face. "I say that because you know something exists when you feel it exists."
"What about fear? You can feel scared of nothing," Nick countered, not trying to be argumentative. He was only trying to understand.
"Yes, but you can also feel scared of fear itself. Something about presidents or something?"
Nick laughed. "Who's been giving you history lessons?"
The older girl blushed. "Xander... But that's not the point. The point of this entire conversation was about you leaving," she reminded him.
"You think I'm doing the right thing?"
"Leaving?"
"Yeah."
"Then yes. Nick, you should go out and take a break."
"What about mom? She's so worried about me."
"Your mother is a strong woman. I've known her my entire life," Clare stated. "She's been through so much, this won't kill her."
Nick knew that she was right. His mother was one of the strongest people he had ever met. She gave up so much for him, sometimes he just felt a sense of obligation to her. Not only had she believed him dead of his life, she had risked her life for him not knowing she was his mother.
"Don't feel like you owe her like that, okay?" Snapped from his thoughts, Nick looked straight into Clare's understanding eyes. "She loves you. She wants what's best for you."
"But what if-"
"Nick, no. She loves you, and she wants what's best. You're not considering your father, because he agrees. He thinks that you should go clear your head. You've been through a lot. You've been possessed, thrown into a world that you hadn't even known existed, was forced into a family dynamic that would have made anyone else's head spin, Nick, you're a hero now. And heroes need time."
He was so grateful. A broad smile was across Nick's face and he looked away and laughed. "You're right. You're right," he kept saying.
"You're leaving today?"
"I guess so. Thanks, Clare."
"You're welcome. I hate to see you go, but you're doing alright, kid."
"Kid?"
Clare grinned. "I have 20 years worth of kid jokes I could be making with you. I plan on using them."
Nick folded his arms over his chest and flopped back down on the bed again. "I've still got one more thing to do," he murmured.
"What's that?"
He smiled ruefully. "I've got to tell Madison."
The girl smiled, stood up, and lay the book on his arms and chest. "You'll do fine. I believe in you."
The day slipped away as Nick lay in bed, thinking. He was worried, but talking to his cousin always worked on washing things away. Clare was a blessing to him. She was that person, that sister that he never had. His adoptive sister was cool. She didn't bother him. But there wasn't the same bond. With Clare? It was different.
Nick sat up after she'd gone and picked up thing- the album. It was a picture album. And it said,
For Nick Bowen Russell. Love, Briarwood.