A/N- This story popped into my head while I was watching the movie and would not leave, so here it is! It's a little depressing, but I tried to leave it on a happy note
DISCLAIMER- I OWN NOTHING!
The pain had been set permanently into his heart. It most likely would not go away. He could clearly picture when it happened, the light leaving her eyes. How did one come back from that? It was not as if he had much time to come to terms with it. All they got was one god forsaking summer! IT WAS NOT FAIR! She was the picture of perfection, unyielding faith, unfaltering forgiveness, and unconditional love. He should be the one in that grave right now, not her. However, here he was, burying the only person he had and would ever love.
People started showing up by the dozens, people that she had influenced and helped. The world would never be the same, a much darker place, with comb webs and dust, never to be used again. At least that was how Landon saw it. Things were in slow motion, as he sat in the front, the rightful place of the husband of the deceased. Landon didn't even notice when Reverend Sullivan sat next to him, giving his shoulder a supportive grasp. They would need each other to get through this.
When the priest started the ceremony, Landon took the time to look around. He could see everyone from where he sat. Everyone gathered in front of him, the Reverend, and Landon's parents (his mom sitting next to his right, and his dad standing right behind him.) Landon could see the grave faces of Eric, his face fixated on the ground, Eddie was staring straight at Jaime's casket, and Dean was fidgeting with his suit. He did not have a feeling in his body for any of them. They did not understand; none of them comprehended his pain. The love of his life was gone! How could he move on? He could not look at another woman again without making comparisons, and he knew that nobody could ever take her place. That empty feeling would always be there, that space that she filled, and left just as quickly. Don't get him wrong he was not mad at Jamie; she fought for as long as she could, and would most likely scold him for blaming god. But, that's whom he thought the blame went to, he had the power to save her, and he did not, so god would just have to bare the blame.
Landon's mother patted his leg, when it was time for him to make a speech. He wasn't sure he would be able to form the words, but as he reached the podium, and faced all of Jaime's mourners a calmness settled over him. He could feel her for the first time since that fateful day. It brought a happy but hurtful pang to his heart. Landon began, with a small quote that Jaime had made him read once by Dolly Parton.
"Find out who you are, and do it on purpose," He wasn't positive why it popped into his brain at that moment, but it seemed to fit as he went on. "Jamie knew who she was, never faltered or let others influence her decisions. I have and always will admire that quality about her, among so many others. Jamie was the person we should all aspire to be, she never thought twice to help you out, forgave you for your sins, and loved without prejudice. Even with her circumstances her faith stood strong, and I loved her so… much!" Landon began to break, tears escaping his eyes; he paused to regain his poise. "It was unfair that she had to leave us as soon as she did. Jaime wanted to better the world, influence people positively, and she did! My life has been changed forever! She made me a better person, and I owe her everything. God… I miss her…" Landon was cut off by his own sobs, his father and the Reverend helped him sit back down. People began to line up to leave roses on top of the casket, sending sympathetic glances his way.
Everyone met back at Reverend Sullivan's house for the reception. Landon sat on the couch, staring blankly at the wall. He could not believe it was over, she was really gone. He knew that she was, but the reality of Jamie being put to rest twelve feet under was the final straw. People would expect him to start to heal, move on. He couldn't do that, he experienced the real thing. Guest started to come up and offer their condolences and he quietly thanked them, not paying much attention until Eric came and stood in front of him.
"Hey man, are you OK?" Landon wanted to snap, have a smart-ass comeback, no he was not OK! Instead, he just stood there and shrugged his shoulders in the slightest bit.
"Do you need anything?" Eric was on a roll. 'Yes, he needed Jamie!' Landon shook his head 'no'.
"Alright, call me if you do." Eric left with that, not bothering to stay for an answer, he knew he wouldn't get one anyway.
Belinda was next, offering to talk whenever he needed to and her apologies. This all meant nothing to Landon; none of these people actually knew who Jamie actually was. They knew of her, and most of that was all made up anyway. Landon retreated to the kitchen to find Reverend Sullivan staring at a picture of a seven-year-old Jamie, reading a picture book on their front porch swing.
"She was always beautiful," Landon said, breaking the old man's trance.
"Yes that she was! My little piece of heaven," a single tear ran down his face.
Landon began to glance through all the pictures on the wall, "it's cruel, how little life she actually got to experience."
The Reverend looked at the young man beside him and shook his head, "Yes, well, she got to experience more then she thought possible because of you! Landon, YOU made her dreams come true, and for that I thank you!" Landon didn't know what to say to this. He felt like a simple smile was all that would suffice.
With the memory of Jamie and all that she had taught him, Landon would face the future with a brave face. He would always miss her. One day they would be reunited and hopefully she would be proud of who he had become.
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