Chapter 1

Clary sat in front of the coffee-washed vanity, staring at her reflection. Her skin looked ivory, her eyes looked beautiful and full, her hair was luminous. Everything about her looked absolutely serene, unreal. The dark champagne colored dress tightens it's hold on her as she tries to take deep breaths.

Glancing around the room Clary was practically suffocating in different variations of white lace, makeup cases, and anything that screamed 'bridal terror'. Clary gathered up her skirts from beneath her. The dress was exquisite. Full golden overskirt, embroidered bodice, clear sleeves with small caramel colored beads sewn into intricate designs. It was a dress that made her look older and more womanly. It was the dress Isabelle and her mother, Jocelyn, had chosen. Clary would have prefered something more simple to walk down the aisle. Her fingers scrunched the silkened material and her stomach clenched into a tight knot. Forcing air into her burning lungs she stood from the velveted chair.

Clary took deliberately small steps, the golden heels Isabelle had forced her into sunk slightly into the carpeted floor. Clary brushed her soft red curls away from her face. She walked gingerly to the closed window, it overlooked a small garden. The sky was a wistful grey, the darkened clouds broke and a shower poured down over the rainbow colored flower gardens.

Clary wondered what the consequences would be if she climbed out the window, on to the pipe, that ran along the churches wall, ran to her car and drove away. She considered the shameful glares people would give her, the horrid things they would say once they found her room empty and her car gone. Clary flung off the preposterous heels and cracked the window open just enough to smell the fresh air. Clary stuck her head out and ran her emerald eyes along the landscape, looking for the slightest movement. Finally deciding there was no one there, Clary bolted the window completely open.

Clary heard footsteps underneath her window and pulled the cream colored curtains closed. Clary dropped down to the floor, trying to think about how stupid all of this is. She wanted to take the cursed dress off, to make her escape easier but there wasn't enough time. She should have realized her feelings sooner, she could have prevented so much pain, especially pain that she would cause him. Out of everyone that would get hurt after this, he was the only one she never wanted to hurt. The time for thinking was over. Soon her father would come to escort her to the chapel, where all her friends and family were waiting to see the happiest day of her life, or what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. Clary could picture him completely. His snow white hair, onyx eyes, loving smile.

Clary remembered when she was a little girl, learning to ride a bike for the first time. Her hair in duel brains dropping down to her waist. Valentine had promised not to let go of the handlebars until she told him too but he had. Clary had screamed but kept pedalling, pumping her small legs. Valentine ran behind her, yelling for her to keep going. If Clary closed her eyes and tried to remember, a picture would form in her mind. She could smell the blossoming apple trees, feel the soft wind tossing stray pieces of hair around her porcelain face. Even when she had fallen her father had simply picked her up, slapped a band-aid on her bleeding knee and hauled her right back up. The pink tinsel on the handles ruffled gently as she had gripped them tight, when she began again she gripped them tighter, even when she had passed the farthest apple tree and stopped, she gripped them tighter still. She didn't dare to let go until she could ride without using her father as a safety net.

The warmth of her childhood memory distracted her from reality. She heard a gentle knock at the base of the white, maple door. Her head snapped at the small noise. Her voice shook slightly but she took a breath and pleaded with whatever God was out there that it wasn't time yet. It wasn't that she didn't love her fiance, she did, very much. The only problem in their relationship was her. Clary knew how incredibly clique that sounded, 'oh, baby, it's not you. It's me'. Didn't all break ups end in that similar concept? Except that it was the truth, she really was the only issue in their fairy tale life. Clary wished she could just cry, wished that she could scream and throw the turquoise vase against the pristine wall.

What the hell was wrong with her? He was beautiful. He looked, simply put, like an angel. He was smart, funny, and everything in between. He could make her laugh even in the most horrible of circumstances. She didn't deserve him at all. As a matter of fact, she should be hanged for even having second thoughts, let alone trying to commit them. The knock came again, this time stronger. Clary swiftly stood, on shaking legs, and walked to the door, turned the silver knob and a shocked expression followed.

"You aren't suppose to see me before the wedding, it's bad luck." Her voice taking on her natural bubbly tone. In the doorway stood her fiance. He looked disheveled, tormented. Clary sensed the foul mood that radiated off of him. Clary grabbed him and pulled him inside by his wrists, closing the door sternly. "What's wrong?"

"I have something to tell you." He had been staring at his feet but finally he looked up to her face. A painful expression settled his familiar features. His curved nose, soft eyes, messy hair to simulate bedhead. Clary yearned to reach up and touch him. Seeing him like this, with a painful expression that looked as if it would never go away, made Clary's insides churned violently.

"I have something to tell you too." She had to tell him she was nervous about the wedding. She was only twenty-three, maybe it was too soon for her to be settling down and starting a family with someone. He always made her feel better when she was upset. If she didn't tell him now, would she ever find the courage to? Could she really risk both of their happily ever afters on the off chance that these feelings would resurface?

"On three?" He looked at her hopefully. Clary nodded. She was mentally scolding herself, he was the sweetest, most amazing man and she had tried to run away from him. "One." His voice was high and her cleared his throat, running his fingers through his atrociously messy hair. "Two." Clary took a deep breath, this was the right thing to do, you can't possibly start a life together built on a secret. Maintaining eye contact Clary gently placed her hands on his shoulders and brushed away invisible dust, readying herself for the terrible news she was going to drop on his unsuspecting form. "Three."

"I'm gay."

"I'm in love with your brother."

They both froze from the news the other had just delivered. Painstakingly close to crying, Clary hadn't wanted to say those words, they were supposed to be buried along with the locket. Thinking of the locket she instinctively reached up to her throat, to feel the cool golden chain, but it was gone. Maybe she wasn't the only one with problems in this relationship.

There we have it! The updated version of chapter 1.

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