Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: NY or the song Starts with Goodbye by Carrie Underwood.
Lindsay Monroe entered her apartment. She had just moved to Chicago for her job. But the apartment felt empty. She was sad to leave New York, but she had to move on her career. She couldn't stay forever. She settled on her couch with some Chinese food and decided to put some music on. She pressed play on her CD player, not caring what was on. As the music started to play, the music drifted her away, back to New York and her memories.
I was sitting on my doorstep
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand
But I knew I had to do it
And he wouldn't understand
So hard to see myself without him
I felt a piece of my heart break
But when you're standing at a crossroad
There's a choice you gotta make
Her memories drifted away to the day before she left. She had only told Mac and Stella of the transfer. They had been very supportive of her move. But there was one person she didn't want to tell, or leave. Her mind flashed back to the conversation in the lab.
"Montana, are you there? I asked you about the trace found on the vic."
Lindsay was trying to think of a way to tell him. He deserved to know.
"Danny, I'm leaving."
"Where are you going?"
"No, I mean, I'm leaving New York. I got a better job offer in Chicago and I decided to take it."
The look on his face when she said that was an image she would never forget. The pain in his eyes, it was of heartbreak and devastation. She felt her breathing get harder, as she was trying not to cry as she was looking in his eyes.
"When do you leave?"
"Tomorrow."
"I'm glad you're taking a good opportunity. I'll miss you Montana. Keep in contact." He left the room right after that. She didn't know if it was because of her news or if some results had come up on their case. She had a pretty good thought on which one it was though. She immediately escaped into the locker room. She looked to make sure no one was in there before she broke down crying. He was one of the reasons that she really didn't want to take this job. But the voice in her head told her to go, causing her heart to break every time she saw him after the decision. She knew though, that she in turn, broke his heart. She just hoped he could understand.
That day was very vivid in her memories. She still hated that reaction of his when she told him. Sitting on the couch, she almost broke down crying again. It was normal for her. She missed New York, even if she had a better job here.
I guess it's gonna have to hurt
I guess I'm gonna have to cry
And let go of some things I've loved
To get to the other side
I guess it's gonna break me down
Like falling when you try to fly
It's sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life
Start with goodbye
Leaving everything she loved was back in New York. Leaving it was breaking her slowly apart. She thought it would be a nice, fresh start, but in her mind, it was one of the worst mistakes in her life. But in order to get what she wanted in life, she had to leave what was almost too perfect.
I know there's a blue horizon
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me
Getting there means leaving things behind
Some times life's so bittersweet
She had tried to fit in here. But they weren't as kind as in New York. She was just the new girl. She doubted anyone even knew her name. She knew though, she had choice in front of her. It was a matter, though, if she had the guts to do what her heart was telling her, and not her brain.
I guess it's gonna have to hurt
I guess I'm gonna have to cry
And let go of some things I've loved
To get to the other side
I guess it's gonna break me down
Like falling when you try to fly
It's sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life
Start with goodbye
If she left, she would have nothing. Mac had said there would always be a place for her at the lab. But it was more the matter of Danny. What if he had forgotten her, gotten over her? She would've gone back for nothing. But what was life giving her here? Nothing. She had a nice job and that was it.
Time, time heals
The wounds that you feel
Somehow right now
Her memories would never leave. She picked up the phone and made two calls. One was to the New York crime lab. The other, was to the airport.
I guess it's gonna have to hurt
I guess I'm gonna have to cry
And let go of some things I've loved
To get to the other side
I guess it's gonna break me down
Like falling when you try to fly
It's sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life
Start with goodbye
Her mind was still going at 50 miles per minute since she made the decision. Mac had said that he was more than willing to let her have her job back. He told her that she was missed by everyone, especially Danny. He said that Danny just hasn't been the same since she left. It was in that sentence that she knew she had made the right decision.
I guess it's gonna have to hurt
I guess I'm gonna have to cry
And let go of some things I've loved
To get to the other side
I guess it's gonna break me down
Like falling when you try to fly
It's sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life
Start with goodbye
The cab stopped in front of the apartment building. She paid the driver and she got out. She went up to the apartment she knew so well. She took a few deep breaths and stepped in front of the door. She knocked on the door, praying that he was inside. The knob turned and the door opened, revealing a disheveled looking Danny. He looked as if he hadn't slept, or couldn't sleep. His eyes had a dullness to them. She had never seen him like this before. When he saw at who was at the door, he livened up a little.
"Montana, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Chicago?"
"I am. Or was. I transferred back. It just wasn't the same."
"Well, I'm glad you're back." He started to close the door.
"Danny, wait. I didn't just come back because I hated it there. I came back for you. I missed you calling me Montana. I missed your jokes. I missed your charm and wit. I came back because it wasn't the same without you. I've not been the same."
"You missed me? I've not been the same without you. I missed the country girl. The girl who wasn't afraid of anything. The girl that captivated me. I missed you so much. I didn't want you to leave."
"I'm glad to hear that. I didn't want to leave you. You were one of the reasons I wanted to stay here." She met his eyes again. The gleam she once knew and loved had returned upon seeing her. She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.
"I'll see you tomorrow Messer." She turned to go back and leave for her apartment she had gained again.
"Back at ya Montana." She turned once again to see him giving his famous Messer smile. She grinned back in her normal fashion and headed back to her apartment. She had made the right decision to come back. It was worth it. She didn't have to say goodbye quite yet.