Title: Beyond Midnight
Author: teenage-dirtbag
Summary: "Couldn't sleep?" She would always ask. "Yeah, you?" He would always reply. She would then sigh and answer, "Something like that."
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy.
…
Alex Karev couldn't sleep. He tried to; for the past few days he really did, but he couldn't. He knew, as a doctor, that sleeping pills wouldn't help. He tried every natural alternative; he tried taking warm milk and organic teas, he tried working himself too much in the hospital, he even tried to work a 48 hour shift just to force his body to tire and rest. He would be successful for one or two hours, but he would wake up, feeling irritated and tired. But with too much on his mind, he just couldn't stop everything and have a good night's sleep. He got up from his bed, grunting, and headed down to the kitchen. A familiar scent greeted him as he entered.
Izzie Stevens didn't want to sleep. She didn't want to lie alone in bed, staring at the darkness, letting the awful memories flood back to her. She always had to do something, something that required immense concentration. She took longer shifts at the hospital, knowing that cutting people up was a very good distraction (she learned this from her friend Cristina Yang, who kept on popping out of every surgery available) and of course, baking. She would only stop when she couldn't take the fatigue anymore; when all she had to do was close her eyes and immediately drift off to sleep. She was doing just that, baking another batch of lemon poppy seed muffins for breakfast. She dropped the spatula when she heard Alex come in.
"You scared me," Izzie said, her hand clutched over her chest. She glanced at the clock. "Couldn't sleep?"
"Yeah." Alex mumbled, walking over to the countertop. He saw flour, butter and sugar littered all over. "You?"
"Something like that," Izzie answered, sighing, picking up the spatula, and after a quick rinse, continued on mixing the batter. She glanced up at Alex. "Are you taking another 48 hour shift?" She asked, dipping her finger into the sticky-sweet batter and giving it a taste.
"I am," Alex replied, playing with the pile of sugar on the table.
"Great, me too." Izzie answered, pouring the batter into muffin tins. Putting on safety mitts, she put the new batch of muffins inside the oven. "So."
Alex narrowed his eyes at her. "So."
"Promise me one thing Alex," Izzie said, "promise me that we won't talk about love or friendship or any of that emotional crap."
"Deal." Alex replied.
…
A few hours into coming home after his double shift, Alex sat up in his bed, frustrated. Today he assisted Derek Shepherd do minor brain surgery on a woman with retrograde amnesia; the attending even let him do the procedure alone at one point. He considered specializing in neurosurgery after Shepherd complimented him on his manner with the scalpel, not too hard and not too soft, perfect for operating on the brain, he said, but he didn't know if he could handle anymore cases of memory loss. He got up; remembering where he put that strong Chinese tea Yang gave him to calm down, and made towards the kitchen.
Izzie Stevens looked down at her handiwork, she'd already embroidered intricate designs into two pillowcases, and she was starting another one. She was always good at things that involved dexterity; she was a surgeon, after all. She concentrated hard on the colors, the stitches and the designs; she remembered how Mark Sloan complimented her on the reconstruction surgery she performed, not that she considered going into plastics.
"Iz?" A deep voice said behind her, which caused her to puncture her finger. Eliciting a small gasp, she immediately dropped the pillowcase and sucked on the wound, she remembered how amazed she was when her tenth grade teacher told her that saliva had healing properties.
"I'm sorry," Alex said, sitting beside her. He took her finger from her mouth and inspected it. He gave it a small kiss. "All better."
Izzie smiled, forgetting all about her pillowcases. "Still couldn't sleep?" She asked.
"Yeah." Alex sighed. "You?"
"Something like that," Izzie replied, sighing. They sat there in silence, staring at the blank television screen, for what seemed like a long time. "How do you get over your girlfriends?" Izzie asked, breaking the hush.
Alex, startled, faced her. "What?"
"I mean, how do you get over people?" Izzie thought of examples. "How'd you get over Olivia? Or," Izzie paused, daring herself to address the rumors around the hospital and his sudden change of mood after the attending's departure, "Addison?"
"Getting over them means getting emotionally involved with them." Alex glanced at one of the pillowcases; it was beautiful. "I wasn't."
"Okay then," She continued, "How did you get over me?" Her voice was reduced to a shy whisper.
She noticed he couldn't look her in the eye. "I'll get back to you on that one."
…
A few weeks have passed; Alex still had difficulty sleeping, not that he minded. Every moment awake was a moment spent with Izzie, who'd become somewhat of a good friend and confidante. Still the stress would take a toll on his mood, and he tried to resist it, but his job. Bailey was getting more concerned with his sleeping habits, and she referred him to the hospital psychiatrist, who told him to take a couple of sleeping pills. Alex adamantly refused, saying that he just needed to resolve a few things. The psychiatrist tried to divulge more, but Alex, mastering the technique of pissing people off and shutting them out, refused and the psychiatrist didn't push him into it further. This earned him a lengthy lecture from Bailey.
Izzie ran out of things to do, she'd baked, cleaned and sown every imaginable thing in Meredith's house. She even tried making booties for the nursery; it only caused her to sob uncontrollably while knitting. She refused to be alone in the silence; she refused to be alone in the dark. Alex would keep her company, talking to her, telling her about his day at work. She liked it that way, having a friend. She thought it would be devastating to lose George, and in a way it is, thus her inability to be alone, but somehow, she liked that she was sad with someone else.
"Couldn't sleep?" Izzie asked, seeing Alex on the porch swing, holding a mug of hot tea. She'd gone outside, feeling the cold air rush inside her bedroom, and thought it might be a good idea to go outside.
Alex blew on the cup; steam dispersed in the air. "Yeah." Izzie sat down next to him, tightening her jacket. "You?"
"Something like that," Izzie sighed. She tried to put the swing in motion, and they swayed gently with the rhythm. "If this is becoming a problem, I think you need to take those sleeping pills the shrink prescribed."
"I won't take pills." Alex said obstinately.
"Why not?" Izzie asked.
Alex waited a moment before answering, as if unearthing a heavy burden. "Taking the easy way out means giving up," He said, and Izzie saw a glimpse of the fighter in him, "whatever this is, I can fix it. I can fight it." Izzie gave a small yawn, which she tried to hide by looking away. "You're tired, Iz. Come on, why don't I bring you up so you could sleep?"
"No." Izzie replied almost instantly.
Alex looked at her with a mixture of curiosity and concern. "Why not?"
"I like talking to you." Izzie answered, and Alex understood.
…
Alex was reading through the book that Derek Shepherd loaned him, a book about neurological diseases and phenomenon. He was thoroughly immersed, and he remembered that reading helps with insomnia, or whatever the hell was happening to his sleeping habits. He found himself signing up to Shepherd's surgeries, to the surprise and slight annoyance of Meredith, who wanted to spend as much time as possible with her boyfriend. He was reading the chapter about cerebral aneurysms when he heard a loud thud, causing to rush to the source of the noise, the book still in his hands.
Izzie liked the new neonatal attending, the specialty she was trying out after plastics. What she loved most was that she had to watch the babies and take note of their progress, which means most of her time was spent in the nursery, just observing, and her thoughts on the vitals and the knowledge she needed to do her job. Babies didn't really make her cry anymore, she found that she was much more cheerful now as compared to the previous months. Still refusing to sit still, she tried rearranging the furniture on her bedroom.
"Izzie!" Alex exclaimed, seeing her down on the floor next to a small wooden chair.
"I'm sorry," she said meekly, sitting down on the steps, "I slipped."
"Are you okay?" Alex said, sitting next to her and inspecting her arms for any injury. "What were you doing?"
"I was redecorating." Izzie explained. She noticed the book he brought with him. "Still couldn't sleep?" He dropped her arm, now observing her physically, trying to determine if she'd been injured.
"Yeah." He answered, defeated. "You?"
Izzie sighed. "Something like that." Her jewelry box lay open on the floor, necklaces and pairs of earrings poured out of them, and Alex noticed a pair of sapphire earrings. He took one and inspected it, smiling wistfully. She used to love sapphire, she told him about the sapphire ring her grandmother gave her after she got her memory back.
"Would it have been better if I had been selfish?" He found himself saying. He didn't want her to answer, his thoughts just suddenly darted on what might have beens.
"With what?" Izzie asked.
"I don't know," Alex said, wondering if he should tell her about Ava. "If I had been selfish with you, and didn't walk away for the better man," Izzie knew he was talking about Denny, her eyes shone as she revisited the past. "Would it have been better?"
"Things would've been less complicated." Izzie said, thinking about it. If she had stayed with him, she would probably still be with him, thus avoiding all of the drama and confusion she was facing now. "But we wouldn't have learned and experienced so much if you'd been selfish." She smiled to herself. "This isn't really about me, is it?"
"No," Alex admitted, "not really."
Izzie nodded. "And Alex?" She said, putting back the jewelry inside the case, "He wasn't a better man than you." Alex smiled at her and returned the sapphire earring.
…
Alex Karev stared at the ceiling. Shadows created by the cutains in the moonlight played on the surface, the familiar gust of the wind passed by and shook the cloth. He turned around and glanced at the digital alarm clock he got last month; it was past midnight and he was still awake. He recalled the day's events, he smiled fondly as he remembered fighting over a large pituitary adenoma surgery with Yang, much to Meredith's slight displeasure, she wasn't sure why everyone had to do neurosurgeries. Even Izzie was trying the said specialty out. The sound of the door creaking open shook him out of his thoughts.
Izzie worked a late shift today. Shepherd said he needed her on the later shift, on the count of Meredith, Cristina and Alex reaching the limit for hours. She had two extra hours before she reached the limit; she remembered waking up late one day and almost hitting a car as she hastily made her way to the hospital. Cristina had begged her to give her the two hours, with a promise of a treat in Joe's bar. Izzie refused, seeing Meredith's disapproving gesture. Meredith had to drag Cristina away from the door, while glaring at Izzie on the way out. She was exhausted. The moment she reached the house, she dropped her bag and her coat and headed upstairs. She opened the door to the bedroom, and saw a familiar figure on the bed.
"Couldn't sleep?" Izzie asked, closing the door behind her, careful not to wake Meredith. She was pretty sure Derek would come in any minute now.
"Not really," Alex replied, moving over. "I was just waiting for you, that's all."
Izzie grabbed Alex's oversized University of Iowa sweatshirt and went outside for a moment, she went back after changing, carrying the pile of discarded clothes with her. She sat on the bed, positioning herself beside Alex, grabbing a big, fluffy pillow in the process. She leaned her head back on the pillow and faced Alex, who was now lying down. She smiled at him. "Good night, Alex." She moved closer to him, resting her body in his warmth. She closed her eyes.
"Night, Izzie." Alex said, putting an arm around her and closing his eyes as well.
Satisfied, they both drifted off into a peaceful silence, acquiesing themselves to the force of slumber.
…
A/N: Hope you liked it! Please review :D