If Only
A/N—This idea came out of nowhere. Short piece, obviously. Bev's pov. Set before Kes-Prytt.
Beverly sat alone in her office. Many would say that her single presence in the room was lonely; on the contrary, Beverly felt most sociable when alone. Especially when her thoughts focused on Jean-Luc.
He was the enigma that punctuated her life. So often, he had been a simultaneous source of crushing sadness and eternal happiness...his place in her life had been defined many years ago when he had comforted her after the Jack's untimely death. He had been there for the major events in her adult life after Jack passed: her promotion to Starfleet Medical, Wesley's promotion, when Wes went to the Academy, and when he had been dishonored. All of those times, Beverly had needed Jean-Luc, and he came willingly to her, whatever her need.
Beverly also liked to think that she did the same for Jean-Luc. She enjoyed knowing that she knew him better than anyone else on the Enterprise did. Also, she was positive that Jean-Luc knew her as no other man would. He was her soul mate.
However, she knew that Jean-Luc might never figure into her life romantically. Fear always held her back, and Jean-Luc never revealed his true feelings to her on that front. Beverly acknowledged her suffering, and identified it as unrequited affection. She knew the difference between unrequited love and unrequited affection. Unrequited affection brought hope along with the dull sadness. However, Beverly knew that unrequited love afforded more pain and less hope.
So, Beverly sat in her office, musing, and waiting for eternity to arrive.