Something is wrong with Merlin.
It was obvious to anyone who truly knew the boy. Gaius was the first to notice, then Arthur, then Gwen then the knights.
The usually happy and optimistic servant was now dull and practically lifeless. It appeared he had just stopped caring about everything.
He didn't even try to tease Arthur, he stopped offering to help gather herbs for Gaius, he stopped being friendly with the knights, and he barely spoke with Gwen.
He was still civil of course, not rude at all. That was another thing; he stopped insulting Arthur and making his trademark witty comebacks. Arthur hadn't been called a clotpole in ages.
To anyone else he was just being a normal servant; talking when spoken to, getting his work done then going home.
Everyone was getting worried about him so they had all decided they needed to talk to him because when they asked individually he had simply brushed them off saying he was fine or that it was none of their concern.
That's why they were all in the armory. Arthur, Gaius, Lancelot, Gwaine, Percival, Leon, Elyan, and Gwen were all staring at Merlin who was focusing on polishing Arthur's sword.
'Merlin.' Arthur spoke, realizing that the servant was not going to acknowledge them.
'Yes Sire.' Merlin said, not looking up.
'Merlin, we are worried about you mate.' Gwaine said.
'No need to worry, I'm fine I can assure you.' Merlin dismissed.
'Clearly you're not.' Leon said.
'We want to know what's bothering you Merlin.' Gwen added, her brother nodding in agreement.
Merlin chuckled darkly at this.
'You want to know what's bothering me.' Merlin repeated in a dark amusement.
'Yes, we want to help you.' Gaius said.
Merlin looked up at last looking at Gaius.
'Oh Gaius, you have helped me, you have helped me so much. To be honest you are one of the only two reasons I'm still in Camelot.' Merlin said with a slightly scary smile.
Everyone gasped at this, they didn't know Merlin had any desire to leave Camelot, or that he only stayed for two reasons.
'Merlin, please tell us what is it that bothers you so much you wish to leave.' Lancelot asked.
'Like I said; nothing, absolutely nothing bothers me anymore. I'm too tired to be bothered with anything. I just don't care about anything anymore, caring takes so much energy.' Merlin said before going back to the sword.
'What are you saying?' Percival asked.
'I'm saying…that I don't care. I don't care that all of you are all so worried about me, I don't even care about the secrets I have been keeping from all of you all these years, I stopped caring about myself ages ago.' Merlin said.
'Merlin.' Gaius said warningly.
'Gaius, I don't care what happens to me if they know.' Merlin said.
'Know what?' Arthur asked looking between Merlin and Gaius.
'This.' Merlin said before his eyes turned gold making the doors to the armory close and locked.
Arthur and the knights had their swords out in seconds as they faced the door.
'Who did that?!' Arthur demanded.
'I did.' Merlin said boredly.
Once again all eyes were on Merlin and this time he looked back at them.
'Shocked?' Merlin asked.
'You have magic?' Gwaine asked.
'Since I was born, now arrest me. I'm so tired of living like this, maybe death is better.' Merlin said before putting his hands behind his back.
Merlin awoke with a gasp, covered in sweat.
'Dammit, again.' Merlin sighed as he wiped his forehead.
He's been having dreams like this for two weeks now. Dreams were he just exposes his magic, dreams where he was just so tired of hiding his magic. At least he woke up before Arthur had him executed…this time. Some nights he saw his beheading or hanging or even his burning.
He looked out his window and saw he needed to get up in about an hour anyway so he got out of bed and dressed for the day. Once he was dressed he still had time so he looked through his magic book.
He had been looking for a spell that maybe was put on him to cause these dreams, but he found no such spell. The idea that it was really just him dreaming these things scared Merlin, so he kept looking.
When the sun began rising Merlin closed the book and left his room, he saw Gaius putting two bowls of porridge on the table.
'Merlin, you're up early again. Are your nightmares still bothering you?' Gaius asked as his ward sat at the table.
'Yes, I have been searching in my book and I can't find any spell that causes these types of dreams.' Merlin sighed as he began eating.
'Maybe it isn't a curse, maybe it's like the case with Morgana. You may be a seer.' Gaius suggested.
'I looked into that, didn't check out, I'm too old to only just now begin having visions, plus though my dreams are similar they are not the same, seers tend to re-dream the same dream until it happens.' Merlin said.
They finished breakfast in a comfortable silence as they always did.
Once he was done eating Merlin headed to the kitchen and got Arthur's breakfast and took it to Arthur's room. Before he opened the door he took a deep breath and reminded himself that he was going to be energetic today, because he cared. He didn't want to stop caring.
When he opened the door his forced smile fell from his face.
Like always Arthur was in his bed, fast asleep, but he wasn't alone. There was a woman sleeping next to him, more importantly the two of them were both naked. It didn't take a genius to figure what had happened between the two of them.
Merlin couldn't tell anyone why the sight made his blood boil, but it did.
So he sat the tray on the table, making a loud banging noise that made the woman and Arthur jump awake. Then he moved to the curtains and opened them, letting the bright sunshine hit the couple in the bed.
'Rise and shine.' Merlin grumbled as he heard Arthur and his nameless bedmate groan about the light.
'Merlin, what the bloody hell are you doing?' Arthur grunted while rubbing his eyes.
'Waking you up.' Merlin answered.
'Merlin this is Megan.' Arthur introduced the woman.
'I don't care.' Merlin said before he could catch himself.