"Oh, don't you just look gorgeous! Our work here seems to be done for the moment!" I shut out the excited chatter of my prep team and close my eyes as tightly as I dare with the amount of makeup I'm wearing. Breathing deeply, I assess my situation. I am standing in the middle of my new living room, which has been turned into a fully equipped recording studio. I am wearing a beautiful ivory gown with a plunging neckline and a long vail is pinned in my hair. I am surrounded by an oblivious, overly excited prep team, a Capitol film crew, my mother, and Prim. I am in the process of putting on the most important show of my life. There is no way out. Defeated, I open my eyes and put on what I hope resembles a cheery smile.
I'm poked and prodded and put into position for the cameras, while people in sickeningly outrageous clothing direct me to smile this way or turn that way. I am trapped and it makes me feel sick to my stomach. The man I am being forced to marry is just next door, and I find myself desperately wishing he was with me, and then quickly scolding myself for that wish. I don't know how I feel about Peeta, and I am in no rush to try and sort through all the things I feel for him. I doubt my fragile psyche could handle that without some kind of malfunction, and my main focus right now has to be staying alive.
My thoughts are broken when I hear my mother's voice from the next room. "There is some sort of breaking news on the television. It's mandatory viewing. They're about to make some kind of... unexpected announcement." She lowers her voice with the last words, and I can tell she shares the same fear that has just paralyzed me. When the Capitol makes this type of announcement, it is never good news for the districts. I am frozen to my spot, standing with my arms hanging uselessly at my sides, as everyone buzzing around the room quiets and gathers in front of the television.
Everything seems to be moving in slow motion. I hear Caesar Flickerman's voice telling a live capitol audience that President Snow has decided to announce the rules of the third Quarter Quell early this year. I feel some of the tension in the room dissipate, as my suspicion only grows. Snow wouldn't declare it this early if he didn't have something even more horrific than usual to announce.
That's when it happens. I hear his voice so clearly that I can almost smell the single white rose attached to his lapel.
"On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest of them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."
I'm falling. I am falling backwards and sinking into the ground beneath me. I see a frenzy of people moving above me, their shapes blurred by the bright lights behind them. I see their mouths moving, but I hear nothing. I am falling.
"Katniss, Katniss wake up." Peeta's calm voice pulls me back into reality. I open my eyes slowly, afraid of what I'll find. I vaguely notice that the crowd has dispersed, leaving me alone with Peeta, my mother, and Prim. Peeta is kneeling at my side, holding my right hand. My left hand feels around at my side. Carpet. I passed out and I am laying on my back. I close my eyes again, deciding that I don't like reality. I want to go back to unconsciousness where life is more manageable.
Peeta won't allow it. He gives my hand a gentle squeeze and hesitantly I open my eyes once more. My chest heaves with the effort of breathing. I don't scream or cry or throw things like I wish I had the strength to do. Instead, a single tear rolls down my cheek as I lock eyes with Peeta. He reaches behind my back with his free hand and pulls me to a sitting position. We stay in like that, him supporting me, until I feel my body move of its own accord. I lean into him until our foreheads are touching, our hands still clasped tightly between our chests. We remain perfectly still, simply breathing, until Prim clears her throat.
"Well, we ought to be getting into town for those healing supplies, right mother?" she says. Her voice wavers slightly, and I would say something back, but I don't trust my own voice. I nod in acknowledgment, trying to swallow the lump that has formed in my throat at the sight of Prim having to be so strong. She leads my mother out of the house and I am left alone with Peeta. I am relieved and afraid all at once.
I realize I am playing with the fabric of my dress and shudder. An overwhelming sense of dread washes over me and I feel like the garment is suffocating me. It is toxic and overpowering and I need to be far, far away from it. I squirm trying to reach behind me and undo the long line of buttons trapping me in the dress. Peeta's eyes search mine, trying to understand why I jumped into action without warning.
"Peeta," I gasp, "Peeta, get it off." I feel hot tears form behind my eyes.
"What?" he asks, his tone urgent for the first time.
"Please, I need it off," I sob, pulling at the front of my dress, trying desperately to show him what I mean.
"Okay," he says soothingly, "Okay, I'll get it off." He moves behind me and quickly begins undoing the small buttons. Sobs wrack my body and I'm sure I'm making things more difficult for him, but I can't help it. He finally reaches the last button and I bolt to my feet, yanking the dress off of my shoulders. I struggle to get the tight bodice over my hips, and finally manage to step out of it. I take a few shaky steps backwards, wearing nothing but my my plain white undergarments. Peeta, sensing what I need in that way that only he can, picks up the dress and throws it around the corner, out of my view, then closes the distance between us. Without thinking, I throw myself into his arms. He wraps one arm around me, resting his hand on the small of my back. With the other hand, he gently pulls the vail out of my hair and tosses it away from us. I clutch his shoulders and bury my face in his chest. I have completely lost myself. I am broken. I want to go back to the reality where the only thing I was being forced to do was marry the man who is holding the pieces together.