A Day in the Life of: Shibuya Yūri, Maō of Shin Makoku
Author: LonelyWriter42
Summary: Being the Maō isn't easy and Yūri would like to tell you all of his woes. If I get a good response of of this, I may continue it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kyō Kara Maō!, only the corner of woe that I sit in when thinking of how I don't own Kyō Kara Maō!
0613: Wake up to Günter yelling at the top of his lungs to find that Greta and Wolfram are both threatening him with knives if he doesn't leave and let them get back to sleep.
0621: Finally convince cute daughter and annoying fiancé that Günter isn't for fencing practice and wander off to the bathroom.
0645: Make it back to my bedroom to get dressed only after I was accosted by Cheri in the bathtub.
0646: Wolfram calls me a wimp for not being able to go to the bathroom by myself.
0659: Conrad shows up while I'm reading the report that Günter had brought and says that Gwendal wants to see me after which a large explosion is heard. Conrad gaves one of his tight-lipped smiles before dashing out of the room.
0703: I get to Gwendal's office (which is really my office but I like to ignore that fact), to find him lying on the floor, a light coating of ash covering his body. Murata is already there, trying hard not to laugh at von Voltaire-kyo's pain. Secretly I believe that Murata is laughing behind everyone's back.
0725: Am finally briefed on the incident that had transpired the night before while Murata runs out of the room claiming that he needed to go see Shinō but I know that he is just trying to cover up more laughter at the sight of Gwendal.
0752: The castle has been searched twice but still no one can find the crown jewels. But then again, Cheri was in the bathroom this morning so maybe she's "barrowing" them like she did with them the last time they disappeared.
0817: Breakfast is served. Not that that was an accurate description of what transpired, but that is what was supposed to be happening at this point in time.
0825: Gwendal graces us with his presence at the table after I finish pulling pieces of eggs out of my hair. Wolfram calls me a wimp again for no reason what so ever and then stocks out of the room to supposedly have fencing practice with the human children. Greta takes this moment in time to ask me the one question I have been dreading: how are babies made.
0842: After ten minuets of shock and floundering for almost ten minutes more on how to explain the delicate subject to my seven-year-old daughter, Conrad tells her that he'll explain it to her when she's older. She thanks her "Uncle" Conrad before bouncing out of her chair and disappearing to find Anissina. Conrad then turns to me and tells me that I'm needed for a ceremony at Shinō's temple.
0915: Murata greets us at the gates and instantly has to turn away so he doesn't laugh in Gwendal's face.
0916: Murata is recovered enough to inform us that him and I are needed back on Earth and will be leaving within the hour. Needless to say, Günter is not ammused.
0924: Shinō has played his biggest prank yet. My mother looks surprised to see me standing in the middle of her bath with Murata hiding behind me, but then her face clears and she jumps out of the bath yelling something about curry. I try not to barf.
0925: I was not successful.
0926: Murata joins me.
0928: I finally pull myself together enough to realize that I somehow lost the robe I was wearing when I left Shin Makoku.
0930: Murata finishes pointing and laughing then halls himself out of the bathroom to find dry clothing. After several long seconds I follow.
0943: Am force-fed curry only an hour and a half after eating breakfast. Shōri shows up and glomps me. I beat him off with a spoon before turning to Murata and ask why he needed to return to Earth. He turns to me with a grin before replying that he had a date tonight.
1003: After I am through beating the "So-called-Great-Sage" to a bloody pulp, my mother suggests that I get ready for school. I remind her that it would have started an hour-and-a-half ago if it wasn't a Sunday. She makes that face that says that she wants me out of the house so I grab Murata and head to the door. Shōri tries to follow but I remind him that he isn't done playing his latest dating sim. He blushes and runs back upstairs to his room.
1030: This day just gets weirder and weirder by the moment when Dr. Rodrigez shows up and starts a whole song and dance routine about how Murata and I are the sun and the moon and should get along forever and a day.
1035: Bob shows up.
1037: Bob finishes his lecture on some subject that I wasn't interested in. Murata starts asking questions like the intelligent person he is. Bob looks mildly surprised before he gives a slight nod like he has just remembered that Murata was Daikenja. I just stand there and look like an idiot.
1101: I am fed again, this time at some fancy and expensive restaurant whose name I cannot pronounce. Later I am told that I ate lamb brain. I strangle Murata for the third time that day.
1131: Bob gets to the real reason he is in Japan: he has finally decided to give Shōri his birthright and the title of Maō of Earth. Murata says that it's great. I just sit there with my mouth open.
1200: Bob takes us back to my house in his fancy limo. Shōri mets us at the door, "Jennifer of the Beach" right behind him. "Jennifer" squeals like a little girl then pulls Bob and Dr. Rodrigez inside and force feeds them curry. I refuse the third helping. Murata eats some so my mother's feelings won't be hurt. Shōri just stares at Bob, the controller for his game still in his hand. Murata excuses himself to the bathroom so he can throw-up.
1202: A sea-sick looking Murata is back, the slightly green tint to his skin giving it character. Bob tells my mother why he is there. She squeals like a pig and glomps her firstborn. I just make a face. Dad arrives home as if he could tell that some major thing was happening at home.
1205: Dad gives Bob a strange look before turning to me and saying, "Yūri, did you know about this?" I nod and then look away, not wanting anyone to know that I'm upset that I'm not the only special person in my family.
1210: Bob and Shōri leave to find my dating-sim loving older brother a suit. I amuse myself for several moments thinking about how rediculous Shōri will look. Murata joins me.
1217: Murata and I leave the house again under the pretense that we are going shopping. We are really going to pick up girls.
1229: Murata gets lucky with the first one he sees. I just stand on the sidewalk like an idiot as they walk away. Seriously, what is up with girls being attracted to guys with glasses?
1233: I see Bob and my "O-nii-sama" at an expensive suit shoppe. I am forced to watch Shōri try on over a hundred different ones. I am bored out of my mind.
1358: After spending over an hour in a suit shoppe, I decide to outlaw them when I get back to Shin Makoku. Bob asks me for the first time why I am on Earth and not there. I shrug. Bob gives one of his dark looks before walking away. I cringe at the thought that we are now enemies.
1432: We find Murata outside an ice cream shop, happily licking an ice cream cone. When I asked him about his girl, he gave a smile and then replied that they had a date next Sunday so I better be available. I feel so used.
1454: Asked Murata when we are going back to Shin Makoku. He says that he is waiting for a "sign from above". I give him my best glare. It doesn't work. Shōri starts going off on Murata about how even if he is the reincarnate of some dead wise man, he can't use me, his "cute little brother" in such a way. Murata whispers in my ear that the "sign from above" has appeared. He grabs my arm and pulls me to the nearest source of water: the sewer.
1500: Shin Makoku has never looked better to me as when Conrad pulled me out of Shinō's fountain and gave me the special smile meant only for me. "Welcome back, Yūri-heika," he whispered. I grinned in response then Wolfram is on top of me, yelling at me about how much of a wimp I am. Ulrike glides into my vision and informs me that Shinō wants to talk to me. I wince. What does the old dead dude want now?
1509: I find out what he wanted. And then I leave the temple.
1517: Greta meets us at the gate and hugs me close as only a cute daughter should which reminds me that I never asked how long I was gone. Turning to Conrad, I ask.
1519: Günter showed up and glomped me, making me forget what I was thinking and it is only after he has hearded me into Gwendal (my)'s office do I think to ask again. Conrad gives me another of his smiles that say he knows more than he is letting on then tells me that I have been gone twenty-seven days and I need to get ready for the party that is happening tonight in honor of Flynn-san's visit from Caloria.
1623: I have gone through all the paperwork that my hand will allow me to do when Greta and Beatrice enter the office, giggling. They produce a cupcake with a miniature me on top, which kinda creeps me out but then it was made by my daughter so I eat it.
1700: I am force fed again. What is up with them force feeding me? Am I a baby that needs to eat at a specific time or my bowls will get messed up?
1734: Gwendal shows up and tells me not to mess up tonight. I stare at him blankly before he tells me that if I do, he'll personally throw me out of the palace. Günter shows up while Gwendal is threating me and glomps him to stop his rant. Gwendal isn't amused.
1800: I play dress up. It was scary.
1823: Party is in full swing despite the early hour. When I ask Conrad about it, he tells me that tomorrow at dawn is the official ceremony to honor the coming of summer. I wish people would tell me these things sooner.
1902: I find myself singing on top of a table. Don't ask how it happened, just know that I am scared for life. And Wolfram now has more blackmail.
1920: Wolfram managed to get me alone and starts talking about the one subject that I have forbidden all from talking about: our marriage. Somehow I managed to get away by faking a stomachache. Maybe it wasn't a lie because after I get to the bathroom, I puke my brains out. Or maybe it was the lamb brains I ate, I'm not quite sure. Perhaps the five servings of curry, I may never know.
1950: Bed time so I can get enough sleep so I don't fall asleep during the festival at dawn.
2009: Wolfram snores louder than my father did when he had a broken nose and Greta keeps kicking me. Finally I can't take it anymore and get out of bed. Wandering around the castle at night has always slightly creeped me out, but it was better than snoring and being kicked in sensitive places.
2014: Conrad finds me sitting at Gwendal's, okay, my desk, gazing at the piles of paperwork and thinking about how Murata has it so much easier than me. Conrad places a hand on my shoulder and we wait in silence. For what I don't know, but it is nice just to have peace and quiet once and a while.
2355: I wake up in my bed, Wolfram and Greta at my sides and then I realize that I had fallen asleep at my desk and Conrad must have carried me back to bed. I grin and snuggle back down. Maybe Murata doesn't have it easier than me after all.