Bob came racing down the store aisle. He was crazy, he was possessed. He smashed the Captain Crunch boxes off the shelves and ran off to continue his reign of terror, in the health food aisle. No one would stand in his way. He was the owner's son after all. " Hey you!" He pointed a finger at the produce boy. " Why aren't you working?!" The poor lanky boy whimpered. " But I am, sir!" He whined, showing him some lettuce as proof. " Well, work harder!" and with that, Bob ran off to terrorize more people. " WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?" He yelled at the traumatized shopper buying toilet paper. " That's not the brand I would buy, but if you want a chafed ass then so be it!" The poor woman was never the same, but since then left behind her shameful days of one ply loo roll. The day was going well so far. But not as he had planned. His dad wasn't around and he was not able to tell him about his idea for remote controlled shopping carts. " GENIUS! SHEER GENIUS!" He shouted, just thinking about it. Several people turned their carts around to avoid the crazed lunatic in aisle 3. Bob ran to the cashier registers and snatched a telephone speaker PA. " Attention shoppers! Captain Crunch is now 250$ per box! Eat away, my friends! Eat away!" He grinned a maniacal grin, having slaked his personal vendetta against Captain Crunch. He remembered the time in 3rd grade that the company had changed the Captain Crunch slogan from " Eat up me hearties!" to " Mmmmm.. Captain Crunch." He'd never gotten over it. Now he was happy. Truly happy. And it was time for his daily dance in the aisles. All through the aisles. He snapped his fingers and moved his feet to an imaginary beat. Everyone stood aside, to let him groove. He never saw it coming. The store parrot. A menace on its own, but a true terror after eating all the spilled espresso beans in aisle 12. He heard the squawking just in time to turn around and see the hooligan, but not fast enough to save himself. His face lit up with dumb terror. The bird approached fast. His speed was increased from his caffeine high. Bird hit face. Feathers flew. Bob was scarred for life. To this day he still wears the claw that clawed him on the face.