Speak Now
This is the first Twilight Fan Fiction I have attempted in a very long time. For the past six months or so I have suffered from the worst writer's block, and for someone who normally wrote on a daily basis, I can tell you, it is not fun. However, I'm back! School has finished for the summer and I feel I have a little more time for creative freedom, and this is the result. The first one-shot I've ever written.
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'I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion but you are not the kind of boy, who should be marrying the wrong girl.' -Speak Now by Taylor Swift
My name is Isabella Marie Swan, Bella to my friends, and I am twenty-four years old. Today, my best friend and love of my life is getting married. To someone who isn't me.
Edward Cullen and I had been two peas in a pod since I moved to Forks, Washington, aged fourteen. His older sister Alice would tease us constantly about how we'd up together, which would cause me to blush incessantly while Edward just told her to 'Fuck off!' And so life continued. Throughout high school Edward and I remained close, neither of us ever having a significant other and serving as the others date to Prom. We'd always planned to go to the University of Washington together, him to study Film and Theatre, and me to study Creative Writing and Literature. The day we were both accepted was one of the best days of my life. Since the beginning of senior year, my feeling towards Edward had begun to change. I started to notice him as something more than my best friend. He was oddly attractive. I say oddly because it was something that had never occurred to me before. His green eyes weren't just green eyes anymore, they were vivid pools the colour of emeralds. His hair was a shock of vivid brown, so light that when the sunlight hit it, I swore it sparkled bronze. His laughter became more contagious and his smile could stop me in my tracks. It seemed that all of a sudden Alice's delusions of us being together were no longer delusional to me. With Edward, I could see the house with the white picket fence and 2.5 children, but one acceptance letter changed everything. I remember that night clear as day. It was at the graduation party Alice had thrown for 'Forks High School, Class of 2004'.
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Six years earlier…
"Can you believe we've graduated?" Jessica Stanley squealed, throwing her arms around me, careful not to spill her glass of spiked punch.
I hugged her back, laughing loudly, "I know Jess. We have to act like adults and go to university now."
"Silly Bella," Mike Newton, Jess' boyfriend, commented as he joined us, "college students do not behave like adults. Check out Alice Cullen!"
My eyes followed the direction of his finger and I saw Alice dancing on top of Edward's piano with both Edward and her boyfriend, Jasper Whitlock, trying to coax her down.
I laughed at her antics and excused myself to go help the boys. I knew how much Edward loved his piano and judging by Alice's sparkly stilettos and the panic in Edward's eyes, she was doing more than a little damage. Edward smiled briefly at me as I approached and I felt my heart lift as I smiled back.
Catching Alice's hand and looking her straight in the eyes, I uttered the words I knew would make her get off the piano, "Ali, if you get off the piano, I promise you can give me a makeover tomorrow." I hated Alice Cullen makeovers more than I hated most things, but she loved them and for Edward, I would suffer. I just hoped she was too hung-over tomorrow to remember.
As I suspected the promise of a willing victim was too much for Alice to resist and she stepped off the piano, grasping both my and Jasper's hands. She stumbled a short distance away, dragging me with her, whilst Edward busied himself with checking his piano.
"Bella," she whispered to me, "my brother is so lucky to have you and I can't wait to plan your wedding."
I gasped. Alice was the only person I had confided in about my feeling towards Edward, and I was shocked she would allude to them with both Jasper and Edward in earshot.
"Okay lil' lady, I think it's time we went to bed," Jasper said in his smooth southern accent, as he scooped a giggling Alice into his arms. He winked at me as they left and I knew that he had heard Alice.
I turned to see Edward still fussing over his piano. He met my eyes as I approached him, lips curving into that crooked grin that made me melt.
"Hey Bell," he hugged me to his side and gestured round the room, "some party, eh?"
"Yeah, some party," I sighed, leaning against him and forcing my heart not to leap out of my throat.
"I need to talk to you Bell. Can we go somewhere more private?"
"Sure," I smiled, as he took my hand and wordlessly led us through the party, upstairs to his bedroom. It hadn't changed in four years except for the addition of photographs, mostly of the two of us. I smiled remembering some of the events of the pictures reflected; birthdays, Christmas', and various arty shots of myself, Alice and our other friends reflecting Edward's photography hobby.
"Can you believe we made it?" I asked, sitting on his bed, looking at him.
"I can believe you made it Miss Valedictorian!" he joked weakly.
Something was wrong. I could hear it in his voice, but I ignored it.
"Oh shut up Mr Class-President!" I teased, "We're quite a pair huh?"
"We are." he agreed.
Silence.
"Listen, Bella, I brought you up here because I need to tell you something,"
He broke off. I gestured for him to continue as he sat down next to me.
"You know I've always wanted to be a director…"
"Not always, when we were fifteen, you wanted to be a vampire. I believe you said something about them being way cooler than any super hero." I pointed out, trying to lighten the atmosphere.
"Damnit Bella, I'm trying to be serious!"
"Sorry."
"I know we've always talked about going to U-Dub but UCLA have a better course and opportunities and I applied, and I've been accepted." He spoke quickly, his words running into each other slightly.
My stomach plummeted. I felt sick and betrayed. I didn't trust myself to speak so I stayed silent, my eyes trained on the carpet.
"Bell, I'll stay if you want me to. I can decline and we'll go to U-Dub and we can forget this happened. Say the words and I'll stay for you."
"Don't be silly!" I choked out. I couldn't let him give up this opportunity for me. "You should accept. I want you to go."
"Then why are you crying?" he asked softly, his thumb brushing away the tears on my cheeks.
"Happy tears," I told him. "You're going to have everything you ever dreamed of, and I am so happy for you."
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He left for Los Angeles three weeks later, swearing to me he'd be back for Christmas. We emailed back and forth for the first few months but he never made it home that Christmas, or the Christmas after that or the one after that. Eventually, the emails and the phone calls stopped and that was it.
After college, I moved out to New York City after being offered a job at Hale Editorials. I loved my job for the first six months, but pretty soon, I realised I didn't want to be an editor. I wanted to be the one submitting my work, and signing book deals. On a whim, I submitted a piece to my boss Rosalie Hale, and she loved it. No sooner had she read it, my contract was altered from a book editor to author. Rosalie was the best of the best and over the eight months we'd been working together, with her as my editor we had transcended the work relationship and had become close friends.
I followed Edward's life through pictures, new articles, and the occasional conversation with Alice, although those were few and far between. The pain I felt from not having Edward in my life was somewhat eased as I watched as he transformed from small town photographer to a megabucks Hollywood director.
About eight months ago, just before my first book was due to be released, I received an invitation to the wedding of Edward Anthony Cullen and Tanya Alexandria Denali on July 9th 2010. It was funny how even after six years he could still send my world into a tizzy. I knew I couldn't miss his wedding, no matter how much I wished my name was on the invite, so I RSVP'd that I would be attending. A month after I responded I received a letter apologising for all the confusion but that the wedding was cancelled because the happy couple had decided to elope. It was signed Tanya Cullen. I was devastated. I didn't know what I planned to do at his wedding but I wanted him to at least know how I felt. Heartbroken that I was too late, it wasn't until last week that Rosalie asked me if the Edward Cullen marrying 'that actress from that show' was the same Edward Cullen I had grown up with. I booked a flight from New York to Seattle within the hour.
I tried calling Alice several times as I rushed through JFK wondering if it had been Edward's idea to subtly uninvited me, but there was no answer. As I stepped on the plane, I realised it was too late to change my mind, I was going back to Forks for the first time since I'd left.
The plane journey was relatively uneventful, but my hands shook the whole way, betraying the nerves I was trying to hide. Checking my watch, I couldn't help but yawn at how late it was. It was 3AM on the morning of the 9th of July. I was aware I was cutting it close if I wanted to see Edward before the ceremony but this had been the earliest flight I could get. With my Dad being out of town with my step-mother, Sue Clearwater-Swan, one of my close friends Jacob Black had insisted on driving out to pick me up. He'd also insisted I stay with him and long-term girlfriend Leah. I walked through the terminal after the quick retrieval of my suitcase, and recognised Jacob instantly. He was taller with more defined muscles, but his lunatic-like waving made him stand out in the small crowd.
"Bells," he said, a tired smile gracing his dark features. He arms wrapped me up and I felt at home. Jake and I had grown up together from we were five years old. Summer visits with Charlie were memorable mostly because of Jacob's crazy antics. I often wondered why I was closer to Edward, seeing as I'd known Jacob longer but I never could come up with a reason. He took my suitcase from my hand, and led me out to his black SUV.
"Bella," he asked, looking at me from the driver's side, "are you sure that you want to do this?"
"Jake, put yourself in my shoes, if Leah was about to marry someone else, wouldn't you at least want her to know how you felt?"
He nodded, and clasped my hand in the dark of the car. I felt comforted by the fact that he approved of what I was doing. Rosalie thought I was beyond insane and threatened to have me committed.
"Well you may as well sleep in the car because we'll arrive in Forks in about four hours, and you won't have time to go anywhere but the venue" he finally said.
"Thanks Jacob." I smiled, wrapping my jacket into a ball so I had somewhere to lay my head.
You might think considering the enormity of the task I was about to undertake, that seeing my best friend who I hadn't seen in six years, that declaring my love for someone whose feelings I was oblivious to would hinder my sleep. You'd be wrong. Within seconds, my eyes were closed and I was in a dream world. A dream world haunted by Edward Cullen, but a dream world none the less.
I slept reasonably well, but it seemed like only minutes since I'd closed my eyes when Jacob woke me up. I yawned hugely, stretching my arms into the air and rubbing my eyes. I looked out of my window expecting to see the gated home that belonged to Carlisle and Esme Cullen but was pleasantly surprised to see I was outside Jake and Leah's house on the reservation.
"Who knew the roads would be so quiet at four in the morning?" Jake laughed, "It's only seven so I thought you might want to steal a shower and change your clothes. I called Leah and she's got a spread going for breakfast."
"Thanks for this Jake. You always go above and beyond." I smiled, "I owe you one."
"Sure, sure." He winked, "You know I'll hold you to that."
We laughed, and both excited the car. Leah must have heard the car pulling up and she ran out of the house to greet me while Jake got my case from the back seat. Leah and I had a strange friendship. When we'd first been introduced she hated me. She hated the fact that Jacob and the boys on the reservation would ask me to go surfing or cliff-diving with them and she felt like she was being replaced. Her closest friend had always been her cousin Emily but a couple of years after I moved to Forks, Emily slept with Leah's then boyfriend Sam. Leah had been heartbroken and having no female friends to confide in, she became very withdrawn and depressed. As a favour to Jacob, I had braved Hurricane Leah and ever since we had been fast friends. As far as I knew Leah and Emily still didn't speak, because she refused to admit she'd ever done anything wrong.
Leah linked her arm in mine and led me through to the dining room where a spread of pancakes, eggs, sausages and bacon awaited me. I think Leah thought she was feeding the five thousand but then I remembered she would be used to feeding Jake, Seth, Embry and the boys, who certainly knew how to pack away food. I ate quickly, and Leah directed me to the shower, informing she'd already left towels there.
It was funny that being in the shower reminded me of the first time Edward and I had ever got drunk together.
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Seven years earlier…
Edward and I lay across the floor in the Cullen's polished and sophisticated living room. We were seventeen and it was the first time our parents had allowed us to stay alone while they took a trip to San Francisco. Our parents had been forced together a lot, mainly because of mine and Edward's friendship, but they soon found common ground, with our Dads sharing a love of fishing and football, and Esme and Sue equally loving cooking and gardening. This was not the first holiday they'd taken together but it was the first Alice hadn't been asked to watch the pair of us.
I couldn't remember what we had been drinking for the majority of the afternoon but we were very drunk.
"Eddie," I slurred, "Eddie, your sister took me shopping last week and made me buy water boots, and for the whole week it hasn't rained, and I can't wear them and it's not fair."
I started crying. Apparently I was a very emotional drunk.
"Bells don't worry. Don't worry." He smiled, "I'll fix everything."
He ran up to Alice's bedroom, and returned with the very water boots I was wailing about. I'd brought them with me, secretly praying for rain so I would have an excuse to wear them. I hadn't been joking when I said I loved them. He out them on my feet and sat back smiling proudly.
"See, now you can wear them! I fixed it!"
"Noooo," I moaned, "I wanted to splash."
Moments later I was thrown over his shoulder while he ran upstairs to Alice's en-suite and after turning the shower on he threw me in.
"What're you doing?" I spluttered trying to get out.
Instead he joined me, and smiling informed me that whilst he couldn't control the weather, he could make some makeshift puddles.
Alice found us the next day, sprawled across her bed, still wearing our clothes from the shower.
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We had been hideously sick for about a week after that but our parents never asked for an explanation and we never offered one.
Collecting my thoughts, I stepped out of the shower, thankful for the relaxation it had provided. Wrapping myself in the fluffy white towel Leah had left for me; I padded into the guest room and found that Jake had already left my case here. A quick glance at the clock told me it was half seven, earlier than I thought but later than I hoped, I didn't have a lot of time to get ready if Jacob and I were to be on the road again by eight. I pulled out a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a red tank top. It wasn't an overly dressy outfit but I deemed it nice enough for the occasion. I dressed quickly and pulled out a pair of red pumps, a red glass bead necklace which hit the top of my jeans, and a knitted black cardigan. I dried my hair as quickly as one can dry hair as long as mine, thankful for the natural wave in my hair which saved me from having to curl it. A light dusting of powder, a coat of mascara, and a slick of clear lip-gloss completed my look, and after a glance in the mirror I was satisfied.
I first felt a sinking feeling in my stomach as I waved to Leah as we pulled out of the driveway. I wasn't changing my mind. Not by a long shot. I just couldn't quite believe that I was doing it. I'd never been very spontaneous; preferring to do what was safe. Edward always said it was my only flaw, even though we both knew I had many.
Jacob and I didn't speak much on the drive. By not much I mean at all. To be honest I was thankful for the silence. I'd spent so much time actually orchestrating getting myself here that I hadn't given much thought to what I would say. What was I going to say? 'Hey Edward, leave the woman you decided to marry and come shack up with me. Remember me? I was your best friend six years ago.' The car stopped all too quickly, and I stared up the drive of the Cullen's beautiful house.
"You're not coming up with me?" I asked, choking slightly as I looked at Jacob.
"Nah Bells. I think this is something you have to do alone. Besides, when he runs outta that house with you, I don't want you making out in the back of my car." He teased.
"Jake, I'm scared."
"I know Bella, but that fear, it means that you care, and that tells me that you are doing the right thing." He assured me.
I threw my arms around his neck, inexplicably thankful for him and all the help he'd given me. He hugged me back and I felt new confidence building up inside me. We stayed like that for what seemed like hours but was only a matter of minutes. I exited the car and stared somewhat frightfully at the intimidating house that had once been my home away from home. Taking a deep breath I walked through the gates, admiring the decorative flowers, lilies and pink roses, which lined the pathway, wound around the fence and trees.
The house itself hadn't changed in the years I'd been absent. It was still as magnificent. Esme was a trained architect although her true passion lay with interior design, and she had designed this house inside and out. The house was entirely open planned, and the back wall was made entirely of glass. In the summer, the house was flooded with natural light and it truly was a sight to behold. Seeing that Esme's hobby was gardening, the grounds surrounding the house held their own against the backdrop of the majestic construction. Careful not to trip over my feet as I climbed the steps, I reached the top and noticed my first obstacle. A security guard with a guest list at the door. I should have expected it really; what with Edward being a huge director and Tanya being a B-list actress. Cautiously I approached, and almost jumped out of my skin when his eyes suddenly met mine, and in a voice that was eerily deep asked for my name.
I knew for a fact that there would be no Isabella Swan on that list and so I had to think quickly. What cousin would Edward be sure to invite? Think Bella think! Maggie. I'd never met her because she lived in Ireland but I remember Edward talking about her all the time when we were growing up. Despite the eight year age difference between them, they were close and I believed without a shadow of a doubt she would be here. She wasn't really his cousin but she was the daughter of a very close friend of Esme, I hoped it would be believable.
"Maggie Grey." I responded, hoping I hadn't kept him waiting too long.
His eyes scoured the piece of paper which would decide my foreseeable future. Seconds felt like minutes.
"Yeah, you're there." His eyes were considerably friendlier now, "You don't look dressed for a wedding."
"Yeah, I know." I answered, "Edward's sister Alice has my dress. I've just flown in from New York, and I didn't wanna pack it y'know?"
"No I don't know. You women are all kinds of crazy to me." He laughed, "Go on in."
I smiled politely and wandered into the familiar house. Of course, I hadn't been here in years, but there were still pictures of me, propped along the shelves in the living room. My favourite was a picture of Edward and me, sitting on the hood of his silver Volvo down at La Push. It was taken only a few days before he left for LA, and I remember that we had spent the whole day together, before joining Alice, Jasper, Jacob, Leah, and a bunch of our other friends down at the beach for a bonfire. Next to it however was a picture of Edward and a statuesque blonde who I assumed to be Tanya. It had been taken at Christmas judging by the paper hats adorning their heads. She looked blissful, and Edward was smiling but it didn't quite reach his eyes. I reached a hand out a hand lightly traced his face with shaking fingers.
"You see it too, don't you?" Alice's voice broke me out of whatever haze I'd fallen into.
I whipped my head round and saw a smiling Alice looking at me. She looked more ethereal than I remembered her being, dressed in a soft pink dress, which fell to her knees, and was clipped with a small diamond brooch at her waist.
"Bella, I knew you wouldn't not come to his wedding. I knew Tanya had to be lying when she said you declined!" she laughed, throwing her arms around me, "But you're a bit late Bella. I mean, the wedding is today and Edward's not here yet. The rest of the bridal party won't be arriving until just before the ceremony."
"Alice, I'm not going to do anything. I just needed to talk to him, maybe convince him to let me stay for the wedding. I love him but he's getting married, I thought being here would give me closure."
"What? Oh silly Bella. Still denying your feelings. Come with me, I've got a dress you can borrow. I won't let you go to my brother's wedding in a pair of jeans. Although they are nice jeans, where'd you get them?" Alice talked just as rapidly as I remembered as she led me upstairs to what I recalled being her room.
"Alice, I really think we should talk…"
"Bella, we don't have a lot of time. We can talk after you are dressed." She said as she emerged from her closet, a navy dress in hand. "You're a little bit taller than me but it shouldn't be obscenely short."
I changed my clothes quickly, used to Alice's demands, and upon looking in the mirror, decided that I would be forever grateful to her for making me change. I was wearing a vintage navy dress with capped sleeves, and a bow tied at the neck. The skirt was light and I noticed a fine stitched white flower pattern draped over one shoulder.
I decided to keep my red pumps and jewellery and after a final check in the mirror, I turned to look at Alice. "Why are you doing this?"
"Because although he stubbornly refuses to admit it, I know my brother doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with Tanya Denali, and the happiest I've ever seen him was when he was with you. I don't know if he loves you the way you love him, but I know he cares a lot about you, and I think that you showing up here might remind him that he was once blissfully happy."
If no other truth could be said about Alice I would say this; she was brutally honest and blunt almost to a fault. I trusted her judgement, and I simply nodded before she continued to speak.
"We don't have a lot of time. I'm afraid you won't be able to speak to Edward before the ceremony, but you'll know when to talk, I promise, you'll have an open invitation. C'mon I'll show you to your seat."
"But Alice…"
"Just trust me Bella."
The ceremony began, and I was hidden in the back row, just a few seats in from the aisle. Edward had entered with Jasper, and his Father a few minutes ago and the trio were standing underneath an archway of pink roses entwined with a green hedge near the top of Esme's garden. He looked breathtakingly handsome. I don't use that term lightly; when I saw him walk up the aisle, he literally took my breath away. He was just as I remembered him, although I could see the faintest trace of laughter lines developing around his eyes. I'll admit it was a struggle to remain in my seat but I trusted Alice when she told me I'd be invited to speak.
All too quickly, the wedding march began to play from unseen speakers, and Alice was the first to walk up the aisle, followed by two blonde women in dresses identical to hers. Then a complete hush fell over the garden as Tanya Denali stepped into our line of view, arm linked with a man I assumed to be her father. I had to give credit where it was due; she looked amazing. Her dress was slim-fitting and white with a flowing train. It was a lot plainer than I expected with only the bodice being embellished with tiny crystals, and a white fabric flower which rested on her right hip. She floated down the aisle and took Edward's hand as the pair stepped forward to stand before the minister.
"We are gathered here today…." The minister began the ceremony.
I drowned out most of his words if I'm honest. My heart was pounding, threatening to leap out of my chest with every beat. I folded and re-folded my hands in my lap and straightened the skirt of my dress twenty times. I felt sick, and dizzy. I couldn't believe that I was at Edward's wedding. I couldn't believe I was here without any sort of plan.
"Who gives permission for the woman to marry this man?" I was drawn back into the minster's words.
"Her mother and I do." Tanya's father replied, briefly stepping up beside the couple.
"And no, before the vows, if anyone knows of any reason why this couple should not be joined the holy matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."
Then it hit me. Speak now. An invitation to speak during the ceremony. This was Alice's plan. I remember think that Alice's was bloody crazy and then seemingly of their own accord, my knees straightened and I found myself on my feet.
The reaction is instantaneous. Esme gasps. Alice smiles. Tanya's jaw drops. The woman next to me tries to pull me back into my seat. Jasper looks at Alice. Carlisle looks puzzled. The minister seems confused. The blonde bridesmaid's glare at me furiously. There was only one reaction I was interested in though; Edward's.
His jaw also drops, but he regains his composure quickly. A confused smile flashes for the briefest of moments. His brow furrows as though he's not quite sure what is happening, and then he mouths 'Bell' The unheard whisper of my nickname gives me new faith in what I'm about to do.
I step out into the aisle, and in a somewhat shaky voice address Edward directly, "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say right now. I didn't exactly plan this out. It's been six years Edward but I still know you. You're not happy. I know this isn't the wedding you wanted. I know I'm probably not what you want but I love you, and I'm asking you not to take any vows today."
I don't think I've ever heard silence this loud. It echoes around perfectly decorated garden. No-one dares to move. Then Edward looks at Tanya and whispers something in her ear. The result is resounding slap which leaves a red handprint on his creamy complexion.
He walks back down the aisle, and doesn't take my hand, nor does he stop near me. He does give me the briefest of glances and I know he wants me to follow him. I do so. Ignoring the commotion building behind me as I walk away.
Edward catches my hand as I walk into the bright sunroom at the back of the house. With one arm circled around my waist, his other hand trails softly through my hair before cupping my face. Leaning very close to me he whispers 'I'm so glad you were around when he said speak now.' The next thing I know Edward is kissing me and it's the closest thing to heaven I know I'll ever feel on earth.
My name is Isabella Marie Swan, Bell to my friends, and I am twenty-four years old. Today, July 9th 2010, I crashed my best friend's wedding, and when the minister said 'speak now' I confessed my love for him in front of his bride-to-be and their guests. Turns out, he loves me too.
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And that's it! Of course I am aware that the story doesn't quite end there. Obviously, there are a lot of unanswered questions, and they have to deal with the aftermath of the wedding that wasn't. I don't think I'll be writing that, unless there's a huge interest. I think I'd prefer to leave it up to your imaginations. Please let me know what you think will happen, and what you thought of the story overall. Thank you so very much for reading (even if you don't leave me a review.)
Lauren.