Our Future

A/N: "Drive" epilogue. Carby. This is an OCOH fic challenge.

            Sometimes I wonder. I wonder about what my life would be like if I had ended up with Carter. Marriage, a couple kids, we always joked about that stuff. He used to say to me that I was the girl he would marry, someday. I always thought he was only joking. We used to talk about our kids, and how good we thought it would feel to be able to hold them in our arms, and take all of their problems away. He helped me get over my fear of passing on the Bi-polar disease. He told me, simply, that we would love them no matter what, and because we were their parents, we would keep them on their meds, so it would be like they didn't even have it. With every word, I was comforted, only because they were coming out of his mouth. But the best part about all that was that he saw us, Abby Lockhart and John Carter, having a future together.

As I sat on my sofa in my apartment, only hours after I had found out I passed my boards, I just thought. I was thinking about that future, and how it just vanished out of thin air, when the phone rang. I was took me out of my trance. Quickly, I glanced at the clock. 10:04 pm, it read. I sighed. Who would be calling at this hour?

"Hello?"

"Abby! Hey, it's John…"

I was so confused. "John? What are you doing calling at this hour?" I regretted ever saying that so rudely no more than a second later.

He took a deep breath. "Listen, there are some things that have been bothering me lately…about you. Not in a bad way! I swear! Well, actually… ((sighs)) The truth is, do you remember that box I was carrying when we were talking earlier? Outside in the rain in front of County?"

"Yeah…what about it?"

"It was some of Kem's stuff, that she left at the hospital…she wanted them back. Tomorrow at three she is leaving to go back to Africa."

"Africa? For how long?" I furrowed my brow, and began to search the fried for something to eat.

"She is going back to Africa…for…good." He choked on the words. And at that moment, my world turned, and I felt it's weight. Slowly, I inched my way to the floor, sliding on the refrigerator. My heart went straight out to Carter. Maybe there was a chance for the two of us! Just maybe…

"Carter…I am so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Maybe, it might help if you explain to me why she is leaving? You don't have to, of course, it's a very hard thing to deal with. But I just want you to know I am here to talk to you! You can trust me," I tried to console him, but soon he began to sob, and then it hit me I might have made it worse, by asking him, and making him relive it, whatever "it" was.

"How about this, John. Meet me at our special spot in 20?"

He stopped crying. "Sure. By the way Abby, there is something else I have to talk to you about, once you know the reason she left me. I hope you understand…See you in 20 minutes." And with that he hung up. Worried more than ever now, I grabbed my coat and headed out my apartment door.

Memories filled this bench like water fills a glass. Whenever I am there, too many memories come flooding back to me. Sometimes I wonder why I even come back. One word: Carter. This is our special place. Our's, and no one else's. This bench is a big part of our lives. How could you take a giant chunk out of your life? Sometimes I wish I could. Once I spotted Carter making his way to me, I smiled to myself. For being so upset, he sure didn't look it.

"Hey," he said, sitting down next to me.

"Hey," I answered.

"How are you holding up?" I ask, after about a moment of silence.

"Not too good. Not because she left me, but for the 'why' part."

"What is the 'why' part?"

"You."

"Me?!" I asked, sounding appalled.

He looked down for a moment, and then back at the water. "Yeah, you. She said that whenever I am at home, supposed to be spending time with her, I have a distant look in my eye. She sees the way I look at you at work, she knows how much I talk about you. She knows our history, for God's sake! Thank Chuny for that. Basically she knows everything about us, and she talked to me about it today. Kem thinks that me and you were meant to be. She thinks that she is an obstacle, and 'she didn't even like it here anyway,'" he said making an impression of her. I was totally blown away.

"She told me she loved me from the bottom of her heart, and she hated doing this, but she would rather see me happy with someone else than miserable with her. And yes, Abby, that means what you think it means. I am still in love with you 150%. I dream about you at night, I think about you all the time, I dream of our futures together…remember when we used to do that together, after, well, you know." He began to blush. "And, I don't expect you to do anything for me, like getting back together with me. I know I have given you too many hardships to count, and I am so sorry. I was a really screwed up man. I shouldn't have left like that! I shouldn't have sent the letter either. Just…the idea of a future with someone gave me hope, and joy. It actually reminded me of you. That's why I liked it so much.

"Abby…(he begins to cry) I don't know what else to say! Other than I am love with you, and I am so terribly sorry for everything! The trouble with love is that it doesn't care how fast you fall, and that's how I feel. I feel like I am falling, and there is nothing I can do! I am madly in love with you Abby Lockhart! I can't even picture Kem in my mind without being ashamed. I have always been in love with you, so why did I give up my everything? That, I probably will never know. But I do know that I love you, and that I am sorry for everything, and I also know that if you don't want me back, after everything I have done to you, I'll understand. I screwed up pretty bad. I know that now! But, because I screwed up, I know I'll have to face consequences…"

By this point I was crying so hard, you would think I had just popped my eyeballs. There was such a big lump in my throat I couldn't sob, which I was thankful for, seeing as though I hate people seeing me cry. Carter saw me though, when he was finished with his speech. I think I could see tears in his eyes too.

"Oh, Abby. I don't know why I said all that. Especially all at once, but I had to get it off my chest, you know? Maybe I should go. I'll see you at work." Before I could even respond, he walked off. Wait a second. I was just sitting there walking off. What was I thinking. I felt the same way! I dream about us, and our futures together, I stare at him at work. I also hate seeing him with another woman! Knowing what I had to do, I ran after him. I started to speed up when I saw him get into his jeep. After a few seconds, I caught up, and banged on his window. I almost laughed when I saw him jump six feet. He unlocked his door, and I lunged at him.

Pressing his lips to mine has got to be the best feeling ever. Flashbacks hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized all we have been through, and lightened up. Had I done the right thing? Yeah. I did. I can't wait to get back to my apartment and begin working on our future…