A/N: I don't own Halo or Red Versus Blue. They belong to Microsoft and Rooster Teeth respectivetly.
Spanish
English
On top of the cliffs over looking Blood Gulch, stands a Spartan-II in vibrant purple armor. Suddenly the silence was shattered by a transmission. "Come in Blue Command, come in." said the figure. After getting no answer he tried again. "This is Medical Officer DuFresne. I have reached Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, do you read?" DuFresne asked.
On a far off planet, Blue Command answered. "Yes dude, hello, can you read me, hello, check one, check two." the answer came.
DuFresne tapped the base of his suits antena, trying to clear some static. "Say again, Blue Command. I do not read." he broadcasted out toward the stars.
"Check two. Is this thing on? Hello, hello." sent Blue Command.
"Blue Command. Please boost your transmission to match communication protocol, Echo, Bravo,-" stated the worried Spartan, his eyes darting around, alert for signs of trap.
"Yo I hear you, calm down dude, what's going on? Hello, yo, can you hear me, hello." interupted Blue Command. Trocadero- No one was being played in the background.
"Uh, roger that Command." said DuFresne, shuddering at the song ozzing through his speakers.
"Sorry 'bout that, I was in the elevator, this thing doesn't work so well in there. What's going on dude?" said the operator at Blue Command.
"Roger tha... uh... is this Blue Command?" asked the purple Spartan, sure no command in history had ever called a soldier dude.
"Oh yeah, man, sure, totally! What's goin' on?" confirmed Blue Command.
DuFresne wasn't convinced. "You're sure, the Blue Command base." he asked.
"Hey dude. Take it easy. You called me, I didn't call you." Blue Command reminded DuFresne.
"Naw, I know, it's just..." DuFresne started to explain.
"It's just what, dude?" asked Command, getting curious at where this was heading.
DuFresne shook his head. "Never mind. I'm just letting you know that I've reached Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. I'm gonna make contact with the Blue Squad members." he reported.
"Blood Gulch, huh? Alright, let me look here, let me see what it says... Blood Gulch, bleu bleaou bee ehl, bluoea here we go, Blood Gulch, okay. Says here, you wanna make contact with Private Tucker, ask him about their wounded, dude." Command informed DuFresne.
DuFresne nodded to himself. That information matched his earlier orders. "Roger that, any other orders?" he asked Command.
"Anything else, yeah okay, yeah, it says here whatever you do don't- oh. Okay never mind dude. I'm not supposed to read you that part, okay, just uh... you'll be okay, just uh be very careful. That's all." scrammbled Command.
"Great." mummbled DuFresne, pissed that Command decided not to tell him something that was on the orders.
"Alright then. Well it's out goal here at Blue Base to provide excellent customer service, and I hope that I have done that today. Uh, if you have any further questions about this radio transmission, you can just um, you know call back, say 'Dude, I've got some questions, what's goin' on.' Over and out." Command to DuFresne. They then quickly cut the feed to the Spartan.
DuFresne quickly prepared himself for the climb down to the canyon floor. "Okay... Private Tucker.." he reminded himself as he started the hazardous climb.
Many feet below, three figures in diffrent shades of blue were standing in front of Blue Base. "Hey Church, we have a problem."Tucker told Church.
Church got pissed. Even though it had been three months since he had got his new body, he still had to fight Lopez's AI for every ounce of control and he didn't need to listen to Tucker's every minor problem. "I am not your mother, so don't come tattling to me every time one of you does something that the other one doesn't like." he snapped.
Tucker took a step back. "I'm telling you, he's crazy. He keeps threatening me, and talking in a scary voice." he said pointing to Caboose.
"No I didn't." said Caboose.
"Oh, so youre saying you didn't threaten to cut off my head and give it to Church as a birthday present?" Tucker asked, crossing his arms.
"You know, I thunk you're taking my words a little out of context." said Caboose.
Tucker looked at the regulation blue Spartan-II in disbelief. "What? What context?" he asked his teammate.
Behind them, DuFresne dropped the final twelve feet to the canyon floor, walked up the group, and stopped right behind Church. "Listen guys, this competition thing has got to stop, okay? I thought we'd established by now..." Church started to tell both of the soldiers, unaware of the purple super-soldier standing right behind him.
DuFresne cleared his throat and said "Excuse me."
Church jumped. He took a second to compose himself and turned to face the new guy. "Hey pal? One second, okay? I'm in the middle of something here." he told DuFresne. He turned back to his comrades and continued to talk to them. "Ah leuh, I thought we'd established by now, I don't like either of you, okay? So competing for my attention, is not gonna do ya any good."
DuFresne cleared his throat again and said "Excuse me."
Church turned back around to face the purple Spartan. "Okay. Yes. Hello. Who're you?" he asked DuFresne.
Behind him, Caboose was talking to Tucker. "Don't ever be alone." he said in a scary voice.
Tucker turned to Church. "He's doing that thing again..." the battle hardened UNSC Marine wimpered.
Church shook his head. "My name's DuFresne... uh, are you Private Tucker?" the medic asked.
"No, I am not Private Tucker. My name is Church. This is Private Tucker." Church said, pointing at the teal colored Spartan.
"Yo!" said Tucker, giving DuFresne a quick two finger salute.
"And our friend over there in regulation blue? That's Caboose. Or, O'Malley or whatever the hell he's calling callin' himself." said Church, finishing off the introductions.
"Why did you introduce me second?" Caboose asked, upset.
Tucker took this chance to get a dig in. "Because he hates you." he simply said to the blue Spartan.
DuFresne got back to the job at hand. "I received your call for a Medic." He told the assambled Blue team.
They all gave him a look. "Medic... That was like three months ago." Caboose said.
Tucker nodded in agreement. "Yeah what'd you do, crawl all the way here?" he asked the really late medic.
"I came as quickly as I could. Where's the patient?" asked the medic, nor seeing anyone hurt.
"Well, she's about fifty yards behind you, and six feet straight down." said Church, pointing over Dufesne's shoulder.
DuFresne Turned around and sees two simple headstones. He turns back around and faces Church. "Oh. I'm sorry about your loss." he said to the leader of the Blues.
"What- oh yeah. Yeah, thanks man, it was tough but, well, what're you gonna do.." Church started to say.
"We didn't like her very much." Caboose intterupted. "She was mean to other people." he continued in a whisper.
"Who's in the other grave?" asked a curious DuFresne.
"That's uh, that's me. I'm in that grave." Church said, rubbing the back of his head.
"...uh huh. ...course." said DuFresne with a douting look on his face.
Caboose spoke up. "See, uh, he, got killed by this uh, crazy runaway tank." he told DuFresne.
"Or by the idiot driving it." Tucker reminded Caboose, with a dig to the ribs.
"Oh yeah, and then he became, uh, this really mean ghost, and uh, took over a Mexican robot's body, uh, oh! And then we had to uh, oyathatsright, spray paint him, ah, to make him blue, and now he is alive again, and he is a bionic man. ...who ...is blue." Caboose finished telling DuFresne.
Tucker nodded in agreement. "Right, and it took us six weeks to get his Spanish setting turned off." he said.
"Not entirely turned off, moron." Church said.
Tucker sighs, shacking his head. "I'll go get the Spanish dictionary." he said and promptly forgot to get.
DuFresne looked around at all three of them. "Wait, so, no one here is hurt?" he asked in amazment.
"No, we're fine. In fact, I feel better than ever. See now whenever these two idiots really start to bug me, I can always just turn my ears off. Couldn't do that before." Church said smugly.
Caboose looked at Church in confussion. "You said they were shorting out." he said.
Church looked at the blue Spartan-II. "I'm sorry, what was that Caboose? I can't hear you." he said.
DuFresne shook his head. He looked at the two still human members of Blue Army and said, "Well then let me just check you two out, and I'll be on my way."
"Whoa... check us out? Is this gonna be one of those things where I have to turn my head and cough?" Tucker asked, slowly backing off.
DuFresne shook his head, holding up a medical scanner. "No, I'm just gonna check your vitals." he told the scared Spartan.
Caboose turned to face Tucker. "I bett I have better vitals than you..." he teased his comrad. "What's a vital?" he suddenly asked Tucker.
Church just realized something the Medic said. "On your way? I don't think so, bud. Aren't you here to join our squad?" he asked him.
"No, I'm just here to help out with Tex, and then assist in the canyon as needed." DuFresne told Church.
"First of all, great job on the Tex thing. Mission accomplished. Secondly, the way that we need to assist, is to help us kill all the reds." he told the late Medic.
DuFresne shook his head. "Well, even if my orders didn't prohibit me from doing that, I still wouldn't. I joined the army as a conscientious objector." he told Church.
"A conshe- who?" asked a very puzzled Tucker.
DuFresne sighed, sick and tired of explaining this. "I'm a pacifist." he explained.
"You're a thing that babies suck on..." said a easily lost Caboose.
Tucker shook his head. "No dude, that's a pedophile." he told Caboose.
Both Church and DuFresne looked at him in disgust. "Tucker, I think he means a pacifier." Church said slowly.
Tucker hung his head and rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh yeah, right. Man I was totally thinking about something else." he admitted.
Church shook his head. "That's real classy, Tucker." he told Tucker with a slap to the helmet.
DuFresne quickly aimed his scannner at each of the human Blues and was done with the scan. "Well, everyone here checks out. I'll come back and check on you before I leave the canyon. Can you tell me which way to the Red Base?" he asked Tucker.
Tucker gave him a look. "Why? You said you weren't gonna fight'em." he asked DuFresne.
"I'm not. Resources are low, so I'm on loan to both armies to help whichever side needs me at the time." DuFresne explained.
"Man, this is so freakin' lame." Church muttered.
DuFresne shot the head of the Blood Gulch Blue Base a look. "I'm just gonna go to Red Base and see if they need any help." he told Church.
"Well, if you're gonna go up to Red Base, I'd recommand putting away that little medical thingie of yours. They see you walking up carrying that thing, they're gonna shooot it right out of your hand." he told the medic. Suddenly a sniper round slammedd into the scanner, knocking it out of DuFresne's hand. "Yeah, just like that." Chuch said as another round buried itself into the wall next to his head.
"Scatter!" hollered Tucker. DuFresne quickly grabbed his scanner out of the dirt and ran in any direction that didn't have a bullet in it.
In the middle of the canyon the Reds were firing on the Blues. "Nice shot, cupcake." Sarge said to the pink Spartan with the sniper rifle next to him.
"Thanks Sarge!" said Donut, firing the sniper rifle.
Simmons was standing off to the side firing a few rounds from his assult rifle. "Oh that's right, suck it blue!" he yelled as his round nearly hit Tucker. He laughed as Tucker nearly fell flat on his face as he tried to turn ans scrambled in the direction he came from.
Grif suddenly popped up in front of Simmons. "Yeahah, sneak attack!" he hollered.
"Sit down, you dumbass, I can't see." Simmons growled as he shifted to the side, trying to get a shot.
Sarge held up a fist, ordering his men to stop firing. "Pack up yer knickers, fellas. Let's go get'em." he said as he shouldered his shotgun and began to move on to Blue Base.