Aka Koujou

Summary: All Neji wanted was train, if borrowing a movie for Ino was the only way he would do it. So exactly when did he end up watching Moulin Rouge with Ten Ten?SeeNotes for Title

Notes: Hiya. In case anyone is wondering or hasn't figured it out, Aka Koujou means Red (Wind)Mill in Japanese, and that (obviously) is what Moulin Rouge means in English. ((Always wondered the scary symbolic meaning of showing that Red Windmill, didn't you?! Heh heh.))

Another Note: I don't think there are really any spoilers in this for Naruto, unless you don't know who was in the Chuunin exam finals. Also, for Moulin Rouge, there are spoilers. YE HAVE BEEN WARNED. But I never say exactly what happens in the ending!

I am also very loose with describing the characters and plot of Moulin Rouge. I'm not trying to describe the actual movie, just the way the characters(however OOC)would.

Disclaimer: Standard Disclaimer. I do not own Naruto, Moulin Rouge, or any of the songs from Moulin Rouge. I do, however, own the scary Inner Neji you shall encounter during this fic.

Let the teenage awkwardness begin!!!

On With the Show!!!

When did his life get so hectic?

Oh yeah, since this was his last chance to practice for the Chuunin Exams and he was stuck here listening to this blonde girl blathering about some movie. Moulin Rouge. Honestly, what kind of title is that?

All Neji wanted to do right now was get away from this place, and train.

Let's elaborate on how Neji ended up in this situation.

Around a month before, after the Prelims ended Ten Ten and Ino had conveniently both been at the Ichiraku, grumbling about losing the chance to be in the Chuunin Exam Finals. Somehow or another they started arguing. About what, no one knows. ("No way! My boy Sasuke is waaay cuter than Hyuuga Neji!")

And somehow or another, Ino mentioned Moulin Rouge.("Jeez, jealousy is a terrible thing, it tears people apart; haven't you ever seen Moulin Rouge?")

Long story short, Ten Ten and Ino are now good pals. Problem was, Ten Ten was probably the only person in Konoha who owned the movie. Besides Shizune, Kurenai, and Hinata, but they didn't know that at the time.

So now, because of one comment he had been pulled over to Ino, who probably only wanted to talk to him because he was on Ten Ten's team.

All he was trying to do was get some ramen before going back to train and now he was listening to Ino drop hints, telling him to make Ten Ten let her borrow said movie. He felt bad for Shikamaru and Choji right now. He really did.

Speaking of the lazy Nara and the fatty who you never saw without some kind of food, there they were. (Choji just got out of the hospital, after the meeting with Gaara.)

'Wow, they're coming over of their own free will.'

And with some demented twist, Ino decided she wanted to watch Moulin Rouge, so she "could finally show Shikamaru how great it is!!!"

He really didn't want to go over to Ten Ten's for a reason as trivial as borrowing a movie for Ino, but he also didn't want to listen to Ino complain while he could be training. And if borrowing a movie was the only way he would do it.

Ten Ten looked very surprised to have a visitor when she answered the door. She was even more surprised to have Neji ask to borrow a movie.

'I didn't know Neji was a movie person. He didn't seem too excited when Gai-sensei made us watch Charlie's Angels...'

("LOOK, MY STUDENTS!!! STUDY THEIR YOUTHFUL WAYS!!!"

"GAI-SENSEI!!!"

"LEE!!!

"GAI-SENSEI!!! SOMEDAY I TOO WILL BE AS YOUTHFUL AS CHARLIE'S ANGELS!!!"

"LEE!!!!"

"GAI-SENSEI!!!"

"LEE!!!!!!!!")

"Gai-sensei's Angels" did have a certain ring to it. But now every time they got missions it was always, "Hello My YOUTHFUL Angels!!! YOSH! Your mission, should you choose to accept it..."

Only Lee and Gai-sensei could ever be that energetic at Three in the morning. What ever this "Youth" thing was they were smoking, she wanted some too.

But what drugs Lee and Gai did in their spare time didn't change the fact that here was Hyuuga Neji, at Ten Ten's door asking to borrow a movie.

"...I need to borrow Moulin Rouge for Ino." Neji explained.

"...Oh..." Hearing that was like knowing the world had fallen back into place, and life made sense again. However, that also meant awkward silence and averted eyes between the two. 'Stupid reality.'

"You can come in while I go get it." Ten Ten said, walking into her house with a faint blush as Neji nodded and closed the door softly. "So...I guess you're not a big fan?" She asked, crouching down to dig through a pile of movies on the floor.

"...I've never seen it."

Ten turned around slowly with the Moulin Rouge case in her hand. Even with Neji's eyes, it was hard to tell whether she was horrified, or had just been possessed by a demon. Normally, he would go with the latter, but this was Ten Ten. As in, 'I-have-a-will-of-steel' Ten Ten.

And that is how Ten Ten decided she and Neji should forget about Ino, and watch Moulin Rouge.

-Meanwhile, With Ino-

"He's taking forever." Ino cried in an exasperated tone.

"He's not coming back. I told you he'd probably just go off and train." Shikamaru stated in a bored fashion. Choji nodded while munching on some barbecue chips--his stomach is still kind of off and he's still eating! Wow, that's dedication!

"HEY BILLBOARD-BROW!!!" Ino shouted to Sakura, who was walking towards them.

"Hello Ino-pig." Sakura greeted.

"Have you seen Neji?" Ino asked impatiently.

"Ah, given up on Sasuke have you?"

"You wish, forehead. He's borrowing Moulin Rouge from Ten Ten for me." Ino retorted, folding her arms.

"Moo-lawn-who? ...Is it about a cow or something?" Sakura inquired.

"NO!!! IT'S ABOUT LOVE!!!!(1)" Ino yelled, getting the attention of just about everyone in the Ichiraku.

Ino continued on with sparkles in her eyes, and her hands clasped together as if she was praying. "It is a romantic musical about a beautiful courtesan and a talented writer who are torn apart by his insufficient salary and her apathetic lack of love! However, eventually they both fall in love, and must hide their love from everyone who would try to separate them."

The bored Nara sighed. "And then everyone finds out, and she betrays him for his own good because there's some rich guy who wants her all to himself who would kill him, and once she's gone he falls into a drunken state of jealousy until someone finally snaps him out of it so he goes to find her, doubtful of her faithfulness, but still driven by her love." Shikamaru finished monotonously.

Ino glared at him. "You said you've never watched it!"

"...I haven't, that's just always the story..."

-Back With Ten Ten And Neji-

Ten Ten popped the DVD in and grabbed the remote from off the coffee table before sitting down with Neji on the couch. Normally, she knew it would've been extremely difficult to convince him to watch this, but apparently Ino had been filling his head with contradictions of what it was about and he had no idea what it really was about.

But that was okay, because it only worked in her favour.

Neji's P.O.V.

"There was a boy.

A very strange, enchanted boy."

The movie started and immediately I asked the first in a series of questions that were to come. "Why is he singing?" In truth, there really is some strange wrong-ness about a midget singing and crying in the middle of the night.

"A little shy, and sad of eye,

But very wise was he.

And then one day, one magic day he passed my way

While we spoke of many things,

Fools and Kings; this he said to me

The greatest thing...You'll ever learn...Is just to love

And be loved in return!"

"It's a musical. They sing a lot." Ten Ten confirmed. The screen left the midget and focused on a rugged-looking man who was drinking in a small inn with a typewriter in from of him. He discarded the drink and focused on the typewriter before writing down a single sentence, reading it out loud.

"This story is about...Love."

I raised an eyebrow, 'interesting way to start a movie.' I decided to simply ignore what the man said next, as it probably wasn't important anywise. Little did I know it was valuable information that would save me embarrassment later.(Neji, will you ever learn?)

At once the scene changed, no longer with a dark and gloomy aura, to the man again, this time much cleaner and happy. "What just happened?" I asked. Was that guy bipolar or something?

"He's remembering the past, Neji. Before his sweetheart died; weren't you listening?"

I decided to ignore the question and focus on the nicely-sized Television. A tall, bearded man had just fallen though the happy/drinking/bipolar guy's ceiling. Some talk about a sensitive goat-hearder and a modern play called "Spectacular Spectacular" later, the midget and his pals were watching the (I could swear he was bipolar by now) guy randomly start singing with amazed looks on their faces.

"The hills are alive with the sound of music!"

The Midget began to unravel a plan, and at some point in time this crossdresser-thing leaves and slams the door, angrily. The 'brilliant' plan was: they would show the play to "Satine"(whoever that was) at the Moulin Rouge so they could get money off of selling the play right.

But then the bipolar guy, who's name was Christian, runs away, panicking for some reason or another and the midget and his remaining friends ask him a bunch of questions like:

"Do you believe in Freedom?"

"Yes."

"Beauty?!"

"Yes?"

"Truth?"

"Yes."

"Love?"

And then "Christian" gets this odd look on his face, like they just said the secret to some sacred jutsu and starts giving them some lecture.

"Love? Above all things I believe in love! Love is a many splendid thing, love is like oxygen, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!"

I looked over at Ten Ten, to see that she is watching intently, as if this were the most amazing movie ever, or something. I looked back to the screen to see the men(including the Narcoleptic Argentinean, who had fallen through the ceiling, and is my favorite character at this point)were knocking back some weird drink called absinthe.

And then, out of thin air, this Green Fairy starts singing about hills!

"The hills are alive with the sound of music!"

'What's with this movie and hills?!'

So the guys who just drank that weird stuff begin singing about the "Children of the Revolution" and I just can't help myself.

"Are they drunk or something?"

Ten Ten just sort of gives me this look, like I'm insane and she says, "Yes. They are. Absinthe is alcohol."

So right now I'm feeling really sheltered, and I'm sure I look like an idiot so I just nod sharply and turn away from her, finding refuge on the screen where a chubby man with rust-red hair decided he wanted to sing too. However, behind him there was a sea of girls...

"Ten Ten!!! What are they doing?!"

"The can-can, Neji. They're doing the can-can." Ten Ten answered, thinking, 'I had expected this kind of reaction from Lee, but not Neji. Never Neji. Of course, it really wouldn't kill them to stop flashing Neji their frilly, old Victorian style panties... Hold it, why do I care? Neji's more mature than that.' Ten Ten mulled.

Neji's thoughts: '... ... ... ... ... ... ... Holy crap... ... ... ... ... ... ...'

"Life's an awful bore, living's just a chore, but we do it anyway,

Cause death's not much fun

I've just the antidote, although I mustn't gloat

At the Moulin Rouge! You'll have fun!"

After the initial shock I snapped out of it and decided to ignore the girls, and busy myself with the weird guy who was singing.

"Because you can-can-can!!!

Or you can't-can't-can't!!!"

((yes, we can-can-can!!!))"

To my surprise, the women behind him start singing too, and I only understand about one fourth of what they said. Ooh-lee-voo-coo...what? Suddenly, I really want to learn French.

It's the end of the song now, and the words "Can-can-can" are still echoing, but everyone has this hushed amazement and for a second I feel like I'm in the movie, waiting with them for something, thought I don't know what. There's a cheap confetti glitter, yet with the lighting it seems to fit.

I remember this, because I realize now this is that creepy monstrosity Hinata-sama was watching, with an that odd blush of hers that never seems to fully leave her face. And I know what's coming next, and I simply can't relate to those fools in the movie anymore.

"It's Her! The Sparkling Diamond!"

I figure this must be Satine, the one that Christian wants to see and I'm starting to actually listen because I want to know where this is going.

"The French are glad to die for Love.

They delight in fighting duels...

But I prefer a man who lives...

And gives expensive...

Jewels."

I look over at Ten Ten again and she's singing along, but only to the extent that I have to look to even notice. I'm not really sure what to think about that, because I remember how annoyed I ended up when Lee kept on talking during Charlie's Angels (I really wanted Cameron Diaz to jump out of the screen and kick his green arse) so maybe it's a good thing.

"But someone else was to meet Satine that night."

To make a long song shorter, I'll cut to the chase and let you know that at this point of the movie the fat guy(Zidler, who actually owns the Moulin Rouge) and the midget(Henri de Toulous-Lautrec, or something) are both making the same promise, meeting Satine alone. Problem is, they're making it to two different people, and now I know better and better where this is going.

Toulouse is promising Christian and Zidler is promising...

"The Duke. Zidler's investor."

Satine gets off her swing and I realize this is far past where I left Hinata-sama watching alone, so I decide to pay some more attention, probably more than it's worth, and I realize...

"Is she flirting with those(clearly-way-too-old-for-her)men?"

Ten Ten's shoulders slump and I feel a satisfaction in knowing that she's not having fun answering me, because she did distract me from my training, after all. "She's a courtesan, remember?"

Blink. Blink.

Ten Ten seems to give me a lot of odd looks these days. "Don't tell me you don't know what a courtesan is..."

Blink. Blink.

Ten Ten sighs and pushes the pause button on the remote, and leaves me alone on the couch, where I'm debating leaving while I still can. Alas, before I can even move she's back with a serious expression and a very large dictionary. She throws the dictionary in my lap and waits for me to find the word in question.

Blink. Blink.

Ten Ten's thoughts: '... ... ...'

"That's just gross." I tell her, giving her back the book like it was some kind of disease.

I turn back to the screen and she's still looking at me, with that uncharacteristically piercing stare. "What?" I ask irritably.

"I'm trying to think of anything else you might want to know, while the movie's still paused."

"Whatever, I just won't ask anymore." I answer, on the verge of stealing Shikamaru's word, only so I can scream it as loud as possible. Instead, I settle for grabbing the remote, about to push play when Ten Ten grabs my hand and I immediately do this kind of awkward jerk to meet her gaze.

"I am going to make sure you understand this movie before it's over." She says, the shadows casting creepy lighting on her face.

Ten Ten, you're scaring me.

I decided then and there that girls and romance movies are not a good mix, not that I didn't already know that from watching Hinata-sama. What's so great about Titanic? Ohh, yay, a boat! Wow. (AN: Think about the social status of the lovers. Think about Hinata. Think about Naruto. Think HARD.)

"Okay." I say, because that's all anyone could say in a situation like this.

Ten Ten, who is still holding my hand, pushes the play button and we start watching the movie again.

More Later

BloodEngel: This was going to be a one-shot but...I'm just too tired and I have homework to do. Review please.

Ino yelling, "IT'S ABOUT LOVE" is an inside joke from the movie, basically the Duke asks, "What's the story about?" and everyone is trying to find an answer when Christian shouts, "IT'S ABOUT LOVE!" And now if I mention MR and anyone asks me what it is about I just say, "IT'S ABOUT LOVE!!!"

11/17/06: ...And I finally got around to editing this! Yay!