This, my dears, is a little one-shot I cooked up whilst listening to music. I hope you enjoy it.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
She knew she loved him.
In fact she had known it for a very long time.
Days
Months
Years
At first she had shown the signs
Blushes
Shyness
Clumsiness
Just being stupid and youthful
Then she stopped showing those revealing
Stopped tripping
Stopped the love letters
Stopped showing herself
After awhile she had even convinced herself that she didn't care for him
Not in that way.
He was like her brother,
Wasn't he?
No
In the end that was the answer to all of her questions
Did he feel for her as anything more then a sister?
No
Was she telling the truth every time she told people that she was over him?
No
Did anyone notice that as the days passed she became more and more tired?
More and more desperate?
More and more careless?
Distracted?
Regretful?
No
No
No
No
No
Then he asked her out
She had noticed his furtive glances
His slight tremble when she was near
His lips muttering her name when she passed him in the halls
She thought that out of all of the masses he had noticed her growing distance with the human race as a whole.
She should have known that it was just his hormones finally kicking in to place
She should have known that it would never last
That was just fine by her though
She was desperate
Desperate for some one to notice
Some one to care
Some one to give a damn whether she lived or died
It was too deep
Too sudden
Too awkward
Too wrong
But she accepted it
After all she was desperate
She was right it didn't last
She didn't know how much he would hurt her when it ended
She didn't know that it would feel like some one had twisted out her heart
She didn't know it would feel like she could never breathe again
She just gave him a wry smile and nodded
After all, it was too good to be true
It was easier before she knew about her
She was a Beauty
She was the Beast
She was graceful
She was a monster
She had style
She had hand-me downs
There was no competition
So why did he come to her for a friendly fuck every now and again?
She felt dirty
Used
Ugly
Guilty
Then she found out about the others
One for every day of the week
All of them successful
Apparently he had a thing for powerful women
And for beauties
And for brains
And for her
She supposed she should feel honored that she had been chosen by him
Chosen by him to be his lover
His consort
His mistress
His concubine
His whore
She just felt rage
Rage and hate and guilt
And sadness
Something so deep that to dwell on it moved her to tears
Something so deep that she knew that if something wasn't done about it she would die
She would tell you this herself but she's otherwise occupied
Slitting your wrists takes concentration
So when you find her in her bathtub with blood all around remember that none of this was her fault,
That in your grief-stricken rage you feel the need to blame some one,
Just remember that she wasn't the one who brought her to this edge
She just had the nerve to throw herself off of it
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Remember kids, suicide is not the answer, if you find yourself thinking that is the only way out get help
Based on Car Underwater by Armor For Sleep