Dignity and Dexterity: a Tale of Pride and Prejudice
Author E. L. Bennet
Authors Note on the Text: This is my version of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I am taking many liberties with this story. It is set in present time in a college that I made up. Disclaimer: I make no money from this, I do not pretend to be as great a writer as Jane Austen, I simply have a soft spot for her work – not the movie. I am not a fan of the new movie, however I am a fan of the A&E version. Anywho, I will use a few choice lines from the original text – it's not plagiarism. That done, please read and enjoy!
The Anouncement…
"Are you kidding me!" The shriek came from a young woman sitting at a table a few feet away from mine. A young man was down on one knee, ring in hand, a horrified expression on his face. She got up and ran.
That was exactly why I have said I will not date until after college. Too young, too stupid – too many things that I want to do.
"Elizabeth!" another shriek stirred the usually quiet courtyard of the dorms at Byron College. I welcomed this shriek, for it was that of my best friend since junior high school, Jane Meryton.
She rushed to the table where I sat. "Elizabeth," she said, catching her breath. "You will not believe… who just transferred here!"
I sighed and put down my book. "I'm sure I won't."
"Charles and Caroline Bingley!"
The Bingleys were royalty. Well, sort of. They were from England, yes, but their father was knighted… that's really their only tie to real royalty. None the less, everyone was infatuated with Charles and his many girlfriends and Caroline and her obsession with one of Charles' friends – I wasn't quite sure what his name was at the time, I only knew that he was rich and slightly famous as well. They were the British social elite. What the hell were they doing in Camarillo, California?
It was a well known fact that Byron College, a liberal arts college, was one of the smallest west of the Mississippi River. You would think if British socialites were looking for education they would, first, attend Oxford, and if that wasn't to their liking, they would go to Yale, or Harvard. Why a small college in a farm town in California?
"I just heard that they didn't want anyone to know where they were going to be, so they found the smallest college they could find and enrolled! They just got in today- and guess what! Caroline is going to be in our suite!" Jane was bursting with excitement. I tried to return it, but I was feeling less than enthusiastic. There were already three of us in that suite, and that was one too many.
Our accommodations were not lavish, but neither were they crap. It was a two-bedroom suite with a common room with a couch and little kitchenette. I shared my room with Jane and our other roommate, Lydia, had her own room. It wasn't that she particularly wanted her own room – we just didn't want to live with her. She was petty and materialistic. I had no doubt that she and Caroline Bingley would get along very well.
"Charles Bingley!" a faculty passerby exclaimed to her friend. "What a fine thing for our girls!"
Fine indeed.