I can't get it out of my head. The image of his face, his glare. It follows me everywhere. Every time I close my eyes, I see the darkness of his eyes, the pure hatred. And what's worse is that it's directed at me. And only me.

President Snow is furious for what I did in the arena. For saving both Peeta and myself with the berries. But I had to do it, I couldn't kill him and I couldn't just let him die. He is my supposed star-crossed lover after all. So I proposed the suicide pact, and voila, we both lived. He's furious, Haymitch told me so, but he hasn't done anything. I think he's just waiting, biding his time.

The love act isn't real, though. Not for me anyway. I hadn't realized it was for him either, until the train ride home when he told me so. We haven't spoken since, not properly anyway. We've kept up the 'madly in love' façade for the cameras, but that's about it. Behind the scenes, we're as estranged as my mother was once she lost my father.

I stare at the sunset. It's pretty, I love the colours and I could sit here for hours just watching the sky turn from light to dark. But I don't have hours. I have to get home and feed my family; my mother and my sister, Primrose. I love her more than anything in the world, and if something happened to her, well, I don't know what I'd do.

I stuff my bow and arrow back inside the hollow tree and sling my bag over my shoulder. In it are two squirrels for us and three more I got from the snares for Gale's family. Thinking about Gale is sad now, our friendship has been on rocky grounds since my return form the games and he's too preoccupied with working in the coal mines for me to see him. But he's still my best friend. I don't think anything could change that.

I make it to the edge of the meadow and listen out for the distinct hum of the electric fence. Silence. I duck under the wire and make my way back through the Seam towards Gale's house. It's Hazelle who answers the door. "Hi honey." She says and I smile back in response.

"Hey aunt Hazelle." I say, making her laugh. During the Games someone had made up the story that Gale and I were cousins, therefore making Hazelle my aunt. I don't mind one bit, she was already practically family before anyway. I hand her the three squirrels. "These were caught in Gale's snares, I figured I'd bring since he probably hasn't had time to check on them." She nods.

"Thank you, Katniss." She looks back into her house, up the beaten stair case. "He doesn't get to check them as often as he'd like; when he isn't at work he's busy sleeping." I nod. I know how much he loves his sleep. "Well, I'll see you later." I nod as she's about to shut the door, I suddenly remember something.

"Wait!" I put my foot in the frame to stop the door closing fully.

"Yes?"

"Here," I dig my hand into my pocket and pull out some coins, offering them to her. "Take them." She shakes her head,

"No, Katniss, I can't."

"Yes you can! I know Gale can't, he has too much pride, but please. I have far more than I need and it isn't going to be doing anything with me, so you may as well have it."

"No, Katniss…" I grab her hand, tip the money into her palm and close her fingers around it.

"Please." She sighs, and with one last look up the staircase, nods. "Thanks. See you tomorrow!" I give her a cheerful wave goodbye and head towards my old house.

I take a deep breath as I step inside the house. The smell is so inviting and familiar. I round into the kitchen and take my hunting boots off; replacing them with the new shoes that Effie makes me wear. They're horrible really, but I don't mind them too much. It keeps her and my mother from nagging. Now to get some supplies from the square.

The first stop in the square is The Hob. I still can't thank Greasy Sae enough for the collection that she started for Peeta and I during the games, so I make sure to come in here often and trade with people. "Hey Katniss!" I hear my name being shouted from various places in the room and I call back to them, earning a punch on the shoulder from Darius.

"Look at you, our new celebrity." He says as I sit on the counter, sipping a bowl of soup from Greasy Sae. I'm not entirely sure what's in it, but it's edible. And it doesn't taste too bad. I just laugh and shrug. When I finish my soup I hand her the bowl back, say thanks, and return to the stalls outside. We're running low on bandages and eggs so I buy some, along with some hard boiled peppermint sweets for Prim.

I exit the square and head to our new home in Victor's Village. It's huge; ten of our old house in the Seam could easily fit inside of it. My mother and Prim have been living in it ever since I was crowned victor of the Games.

"Prim?" I call out as I walk in. "Mum?" There's silence. I frown, wondering where they could be. They weren't in the square, I would have seen them, and they weren't at Gale's either. I sigh and walk into the kitchen.

The bags leave my hands and the scream erupts from my throat before my eyes have even comprehended the sight that lies before them. The scream is so blood curling, in a pitch I didn't even know I had the power to possess, that it shatters the glass on the window sill. My mother's home. And so is Prim.

But they're dead.

I run forward to them, tears spilling down my cheeks. "Prim!" I yell. I reach her body first, hanging from the ceiling, wearing the same dress she wore at the day of the reaping. I shake her arm. "No no no no! Prim!" I'm sobbing hysterically. Her body's gone cold; her eyelids are closed and there's wet trails leading from her eyes to her chin. I don't bother to check on my mother, I know she's just the same.

I turn on my heel, intent on running, when I freeze. There, on the dinner table is a single white rose.

President Snow wears a white rose on his suit jacket.

Suddenly, everything slots into place.

He's finally done it. He's finally done something about my defiance in the arena. And what has he done? He's killed my family, left me alone to live with the guilt that comes from the fact I refused to kill Peeta, a boy I'm not even in love with.

I'm the reason my family is dead. It's entirely my fault. Everything is my fault.

Now I'm running. Through the town, the crowds, not caring who I knock over in the process. I just have to get out of here. I ignore the annoyed shouts and just keep on running. Far away, my feet beat heavily on the floor.

I don't stop running when I reach the fence. I don't even check it; I just duck under and carry on running. I don't care about my appearance, or the noise I must be making. I know I must look like a troll, I haven't stopped crying and the sounds now coming from my throat are strange and mangled.

The only reason I stop running is because my vision has become too blurred and I trip, gambolling down a small hill to the edge of the lake that my father taught me to swim in so many years ago. My trousers are ripped and I can feel the warm blood pouring out from different places on my body. I crawl towards the concrete hut, getting more dirt into the scratches on my legs. But I honestly don't care.

I sit in the corner of the hut with my shoulders hunched, hugging my knees to my chest. I'm sobbing still, shaking violently. I can't think about it, yet I can't get the image out of my mind.

I don't how long it is before I hear the snapping of twigs outside. It's the peace keepers for sure, here to lash me to death for crossing the fence. I'm not making a noise any more, my throat ran dry quite a while ago, but tears are still springing from my eyes. I hear my name being called softly. "Katniss?"

It's Gale's voice.

I try to speak, but nothing comes out. He doesn't even get his head around the door frame before I tackle him to the ground, wrapping my arms around his neck, burying my head into the crevice of his shoulder. This brings on another round of hysterical sobbing as he soothingly rubs my back. He doesn't say anything and I can feel that he's sobbing too, but my loud ones are drowning his quiet ones out.

"Come on, Catnip. Let's get you home." I don't object as he easily lifts me up, but I start to when he carries me.

"I can walk." I croak out, but he shakes his head.

"No. I'm carrying you." I give up protesting after a minute or two, wrap my legs around his waist and rest my head onto his shoulder. I feel like a baby being carried, but there's nothing I can do about that. I wish I could sleep, pretend this was all some kind of sick nightmare, but I know it isn't. Instead I stare up at the night sky. It's completely dark now and the full moon is at its peak. It must be way past midnight and I idly wonder how he found me here. Or how he even knew to come find me. But I let it slide, for now.

He carries me all the way through the village. I expected it to be empty, but there's crowds gathered, staring at us.

There are even more crowds around Victor's Village. The bodies must have been removed. Whispers and points are directed at Gale and me. The peace keepers holding the crowds back part to let us through and I immediately jump down from Gale's clutches. "Katniss…" He calls, but I don't want to hear. I walk slowly, pause at my front door and turn to stare at the crowds. There's Peeta and his family; only him and his father seem upset. Haymitch is stood on his front door step, hanging his head, shaking it slightly. Gale has his arm around his mother and his holding his little sister. All of the Hawthorne's are crying. Other members of the crowd are crying, some are calling out to me. And then, in one sudden movement, just like after I volunteered to save Prim in the reaping, every one puts three fingers together on their left hand, kisses it and then raises it up to the sky. It is an old and rarely used gesture of our district, occasionally seen at funerals. It means thanks, it means admiration, it means goodbye to someone you love.

Oh yes, people couldn't help but love my sister Prim.

But I've had enough of all their piteous looks, so I spin around and walk into my house, slamming the front door shut behind me. I walk straight into the living room, light a fire, and sit there.

I just sit in the dark and stare into the flickering flames.

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