Roy's Doggie Dog World
"Lieutenant Hawkeye?"
"Yes Fuery?"
"Do..you think the colonel...would be able to do me a favor?"
Fuery had been acting strange the entire day, and he had finally decided to speak up. Everyone was on there lunch break. Breda and Havoc were arguing over why Havoc couldn't get a date. Fuery was next to Riza, hiding something behind his back. He looked even more nervous than he usually did. Edward and Al were on the couch. Alphonse was lazily picking at his sandwich, while reading a book, while Edward had drifted lazily into a day-dream.
"Brother..." Al mumbled.
Ed didn't seem to hear him, so Al gently shook his shoulder.
"Al...what..."
"Do..well..do you think the colonel will take her?"
"Wha...Oh...yeah, of course he will, he's the only one who could take care of it."
"Brother, she's a she, not an It."
"Whatever...where the hell is the bastard anyway..."
*~*~*~*~Earlier that morning~*~*~*~*
"Al...hurry up! I have to get to Roy's office before everyone else! We...need to talk..."
"Yeah...right brother 'talk'...your 'talks' always end up with you both locking yourselves in his office for hours..."
"SHUT-UP!"
"Really brother, there's no need to rush...everyone already knows about you two, and I can promise no-one is EVER going to bother the two of you when your...'talking'..."
"Al...stop talking and hurry up, before I'm forced to kill you."
"Yeah right."
...
...
...
...
...
"Good...it looks like no-ones here yet...which means Roy and I can..."
"BROTHER! I can hear you!"
"Oh...hehe...sorry Al..."
"Well lets get to the colonel's office...It's my turn too..."
*NYA*
"Brother, please stop talking about this infront of me."
"Shh...Al...did you hear that?"
"Hear wha-"
*NYA*
"Tha- H-hey Al! Where are you going!"
"Brother! LOOK!"
"Al...that thing."
"Brother! You no SHE'S not a THING!"
"Yeah...well...put it back...we have to get going..."
"But..."
"No. Al. We've had this conversation before. We can't take care of it."
"But..."
"I said no."
"B-ut...B-ut..."
"Al...please don't...do that..."
"BROTHER! YOUR NOT HUMAN!"
"H-Hey Al...come back! ...Damnit..."
"Edward...what's the matter."
"Huh?"
"Edward..."
"Oh...Roy...U-umm..."
"He...you look cuter than usual today, whats the occasion..."
"Um...well...isn't today...well..um...O-our..."
"Yes..."
...
"Mmm...jeez...Roy...you taste...mm..."
...
"Now...Edward..what's wrong with Alphonse?"
"You always pull away too quickly...Not. Fair."
"Ed...Alphonse? Remember?"
"Hmm! OH! Al has a cat and...wait...hehe...well Roy I have to go get him! I'll meet you in your office later!"
"W-Wait! Ed..."
"I'll see you after lunch!"
...
...
...
"...A-A-Alphonse! FINALLY! Damnit..."
"Brother...go away..."
"Alphonse...I've been running all over the place looking for you."
"Go away...your mean..."
"Al...I'm sorry but you know why we can't keep her...but maybe...well...I have an idea of who can..."
"I don't want some stranger to have her!"
"Oh...don't worry...it's not going to be a stranger...I know this person VERY well..."
"Brother...you don't mean..."
"Yeah."
"Would he even consider taking her?"
"Hehehe...I have a very effective way to convince him too."
"Brother. Your not going to do something stupid are you?"
"I never do anything stupid."
"Yeah Right."
"Exactly"
"Brother...if that's true..then that also means that I'm the short one."
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT I CAN'T CONTAIN MY OWN STUPIDITY"
"Brother I didn't say that, and that didn't even make sense..."
"Whatever...don't call me short...let's go."
"Brother..."
Ed was getting impatient. Roy was supposed to be in his office right after lunch, and that was 15 minutes ago. He looked over at Fuery, and noticed that he was holding a dog infront of Lt. Hawkeye.
"Kain...I don't know if the colonel will take him."
Al made a noise.
"Brother! The colonel won't be able to keep a dog and a cat!"
"Al...shh..I'll take care of it."
Ed got up and walked over towards Hawkeye and Fuery.
"Hey Edward, what's up?"
"Well Lieutenant...I over heard your conversation...and I hate to say it but-"
*SLAM*
He was cut off when the office's door slammed shut.
Roy's eyes scanned the room, and first fell upon Ed. He gave him a wink and a small small.
*WOOF*
He heard the small puppy, and averted his attention towards the dog within Fuery's grasp.
He walked over and leaned towards Fuery, who instinctively back away.
"Sir...?"
Roy grabbed the dog, and lifted it into the air quickly, and glared at it. He looked as if he was going to eat it. Although apparently Havoc had already had dibs on that choice...
Roy stared at it for a minute, while Fuery looked at the colonel.
"Dog Huh?"
Another short glare. Ed moved closer, baffled by the expression Mustang was giving.
He had a completely silly grin on his face.
'But...he does look cute like that...'
Roy interrupted Ed's train of thought.
"I LOVE DOGS!"
Everyone looked up.
Fuery looked ecstatic, and through his arms forward and lent in.
"Really! Do..you mean it!"
Ed was actually surprised at the man's excitement, he was usually so quiet. The Ed suddenly realized that Roy's reaction wasn't such a good thing...what about the cat. He listened for Roy's response.
Roy swung himself around and looked Fuery straight in the face.
"OF COURSE!"
He turned around quickly and lifted the poor dog up then down multiple times.
"Dogs embody loyalty...they follow their master's commands above all else..."
Everyone was just staring at the colonel. Was he fucking high or something?
He was still waving the dog up and down.
"BE A JERK TO THEM AND THEY DON'T COMPLAIN..."
Ed saw the little look Roy had given him after that statement.
"...AND THEY NEVER ONCE BEG FOR A PAY CHECK!..."
Havoc was on the recieveing end of that look.
"TRUST ME FUERY THEY'RE THE GREAT SERVANTS OF MAN."
Roy was now holding the dog within one hand and waving both hands around.
Fuery now not so proud of himself for giving the dog away was backing away.
"LOYAL CANINE HOW WE SALUTE THEE! HAHAHA!"
Everyone was silent for a while, until Ed had had enough.
...
...
"Ahem..." He walked up to Roy and handed the dog over to Hawkeye before the colonel gave the poor pup a heart attack.
Roy looked down at him.
"Edward..."
"Yes...Colonel." Finally He'd gotten the colonel's attention.
"I believe we...have to 'talk'" He flashed his sexy smile.
Ed blushed and quickly smiled back.
"I think your right."
He followed Ed towards his office, and noticed that every single person in the room was smiling at eachother, even the usually controlled Riza Hawkeye.
'Great. Al wasn't kidding."
"Brother...have a good 'talk' with the colonel" The younger Elric giggled.
Ed's face exploded with a bright red hue.
"...Al..."
He walked into the office and locked the door, with a loud click.
The room on the other side immediately roared with laughter.
Ed and Roy both rolled their eyes.
"Colonel..."
"Edward..."
They both looked at eachother, until once again Ed was the one to interrupt the silence.
"I have to ask you something..."
Roy raised an eyebrow and replied.
"Well...then go ahead."
"Um...well...Alphonse found a ...cat...and well since we're not able to take care of it...and everyone else can't I was hoping...well..."
'Bastard better say yes to this fucking 'cute' act or I'm going to have to implement plan B, and he so won't like it.' Ed had to hide his smirk that went along with his thought.
"You were hoping that I'd be able to take care of it?"
"Her..."
"Ok...that I'd be able to take care of her..."
"Mhm..."
'Say yes or I will have too do it' He knew Roy wouldn't like his plane B.
"Well...I'm not much of a cat person...and I was really actually considering taking the dog out there home with me"
"Oh...um..." Ed put on his best 'disappointed' face.
"Ed please don't look like that..."
He stepped forward, closer to Ed.
'That's right you fucking bastard, just alittle closer.' He again had to hide his smirk.
Roy came within arm's reach.
'Now!'
"Ed..please don't look at me like that"
Ed quickly replaced his 'sad face' with a feral grin.
"Ed what are y-"
Ed grabbed Roy's collar and tossed him onto the couch. He wrapped his legs around Roy's waist and locked him in place.
"Ed...were you..."
"Duh, did you really think I'd actually be pouting." He laughed.
"Then...what.."
Ed tore the man's blue jacket and shirt away from his body, and quickly licked Roy's collar bone.
"W-what..are y-ou..." Roy tried to pull Ed off.
"Sorry colonel..but I have to discuss something with you...so.."
He lowered his hands and grabbed the colonel's tented crotch and squeezed.
"Mmmmm.." Roy groaned.
"That's right old man..."
Roy glared at Ed.
"Now...your going to forget about the dog...and your going to take to cat that my brother found. Or..."
"Or...what.." Roy grunted...
Ed laughed. "Or.."
He bucked his hips twice against Roy's crotch, and licked his cheek.
"Or...you won't get this..." He rocked his hips against the older man's once more.
"Mm..."
"Yeah...any of that for our special anniversary tonight."
Roy's eyes widened in reaction to Ed's threat.
"E-Ed are you serious?"
"Dead."
Roy looked across the room, for a few minutes.
Ed shuffled so that he was sitting on Roy's stomach.
"Ugh...Ed...your heavy..."
"What...now your calling me fat?"
"No...your definitely not fat."
Roy grabbed Ed's hand and rubbed his thumb across the palm.
"Well...colonel..."
"Fine. I'll...take the cat...but..."
"No buts. and NO dog."
Roy smirked. and tightened his grip on Ed's hand and pulled him down onto his chest.
"I can't agree with that first one."
"What."
Roy let go of Ed's hand and lowered his hands to Ed's ass and Squeezed.
"I'll take the damn cat...but you can't tell me no butts too..."
"You pervert...that's so not what I meant...now let go..."
Roy squeezed once more, and gave Ed a quick kiss, then let go.
"Don't you want to...continue...Edward...?" He asked smoothly.
Ed gave Roy a cool smile, "Later...Colonel..." ..." Oh...and remember..."
Roy groaned, why was Ed nagging him.
"What..."
"No...Dogs."
The door closed.
Roy laughed...
'Yea...Ed...no dogs...' He smirked to himself and walked back to his desk.
Ed and Al were on there way to the front gate. Ed was getting a ride with the colonel, because tonight was a very special night. While Al had a date with a certain female engineer.
"Well Al hand over the kitten." Ed stuck his hand out.
"WHAT! Brother! you said you'd definitely get the colonel to say yes!" Al back away from Ed.
Oops. Ed didn't tell him.
"Oh...Sorry Al...I forgot to tell you, the colonel said he'd be delighted to take care of the kitten." He smiled, although a little embellished, his claim was mostly true.
"REALLY! WOW! Tell the colonel I said thankyou!" Al hopped back infront of Ed, and gently handed him the kitten, and followed that with a tight hug.
"Ugh...Al..your squishing me..."
"Oh..sorry brother...sometimes I forget how much smaller you are than me..."
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE'D GET EATEN BY A KITTEN!"
Al backed off of his ranting brother.
"Ed...again I didn't say anything like that, and once again your ranting doesn't even make sense."
"Why do you people always insist on calling me small."
Ed glared at Al and noticed he was smiling.
"What are you smiling at."
Suddenly, Ed' felt a warm presence behind him, and then arms surrounded his neck, pulling him towards the warmth.
"Hello Colonel." Al said gleefully,
"Now Edward...What was it you were saying about 'Us People'...I love your small size...and that includes..."
Ed knocked Roy back a little and whispered... "Shh Roy, none of that infront Al..."
Roy laughed as he whispered back... "Fine then I'll just..."
He pulled Ed's braid, causing him to face the sky. He brought his lips onto Ed's and kissed him, a bit to passionately, considering they were infront of Al. Roy felt Ed trying to pull away out of embarrassment, so he quickly bit Ed's bottom lip and then let him go.
Ed looked back at Al, who was looking away, face tinged a light pink.
Ed coughed. "S-Sorry about that A-Al."
Al turned back around.
Still a little pink, "Oh...it's alright...have fun you two...I...um..have to go meet up with Winry..."
He turned towards the sidewalk and waved goodbye.
Ed grinned, he just had to get his brother to blush one more time.
"HEY AL! MAKE SURE YOU USE PROTECTION!"
Al immediately stiffened, and turned around, if looks could kill, Ed would have been cold and dead infront of the colonel.
Ed started laughing hysterically, and Roy even chuckled a bit.
But Ed knew Roy wouldn't laugh at any type of joke he pulled on Al...what was he up too.
Suddenly Roy started to speak, very loudly.
"BUT EDWARD...WE HAVEN'T USED PROTECTION IN A WHILE? DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOUR ADVICE HYPOCRITICAL?"
Ed heard Al's laughter.
He knocked Roy upside the head.
"Bastard."
"Maybe...but you should be nicer to Alphonse."
"I am nice."
"Yeah...nice to look at."
"Sap."
Ed was about to walk away, when Roy grabbed him and spun him around, kissing him again.
"MMmmm...Roy..mm"
He kissed back, and within a few seconds Roy pulled away.
"Roooyyy..." Ed whined.
"Oh don't worry...I've got special plans...we'll continue this...at home..."
*BEEP BEEP*
Ed turned around, to see Havoc pulling up next to them.
The blond man yelled out the window.
"Hey! Chief! Colonel! Stop fondling each-other in the street and get in! I have a date!"
Edward and Roy snorted.
"Yeah Havoc of course you have a date "
Havoc blushed."
"Shutup shorty! I do..."
Roy laughed at the two, and gently nudged his personal 'date' into the car.
"Get moving Havoc"
"Yes Sir! I know you and the Chief have alot of talking to do tonight.."
Ed sank in his seat. Did everyone have to keep reminding him that they knew about he and Roy's 'conversations'.
The only thing Roy said was...
"That we do Havoc..." Roy aimed a smile down at Ed.
They both walked into the front door of Roy's house, one following after the other.
"Ed, hurry up and close the door."
Ed did as Roy asked.
"Um...Roy...why did you keep smiling at me?"
"Huh...Oh...I wasn't smiling at you, I was smiling at this cute little girl" He pointed to the cat.
"Oh..."
Ed glared at the kitten, it hissed and walked away... 'Yeah you little bitch...he's mine...'
Roy noticed Ed's glare and laughed.
"Now Edward...don't get jealous...you're the one who made me keep her..."
Ed snorted.
"I didn't want you to keep her, Al wanted you to, so obviously I had to make you. I hate cats. I much more of a dog person."
Roy grinned. "Well...thats...interesting..."
Ed raised his eyebrow...
"Why...is that interesting..."
Roy grabbed Ed's hand and pulled him up the stairs without even answering his question.
'I definitely don't like where this is going' was Ed's only thought.
Roy brought both of them into his bedroom, and locked the door.
"Edward sit on the bed...I have something for you..."
Ed gulped.
"Why...What...?"
"Well...because it's been exactly one year since we started officially dating...and...well this is sort of a payback for making me take in the cat."
'Great I knew this was coming, damn bastard...' Ed got up and walked towards Roy. He wrapped his arm's around the taller man's waist, and Roy did the same.
"Colonel...can't I have my way with you tonight." He pouted his lip, hoping to convince the colonel to change his mind.
Roy laughed and pulled away top walk towards the closet.
"Absolutely not."
Ed groaned as he saw Roy pull out a box.
"What is it?" He was quite curious.
The box was medium size, obviously it was holding clothes. Which meant...
"ROY NO! I AM NOT WEARING A COSTUME!"
Roy laughed and stepped back towards Ed.
"Sorry Edward...you have no choice..."
Again, Ed raised his eyebrow.
"And why, may I ask, is that?"
"Well...if you don't put this on and do as I say...you...won't get..."
Roy walked towards Ed, causing Ed to step back, until he felt the bed behind him. Roy pushed Ed back, causing him to fall onto the beast of a bed. He gently bit the pulsing point on Ed's neck and softly pressed his hips against the blonds.
Ed groaned.
"Or else you won't get this. Equivalent Exchange...Edward..."
'Damn bastard is using my plan against me!'
"Well...Edward.."
Ed blushed and pushed Roy back.
"Fine...but this better not be that outfit again, or I swear I will kill you."
"Don't worry it's not that one...although that one was alot of fun."
"Yeah For you..."
"Just go put it on."
"Whatever."
Ed walked over to the bathroom and before he closed the door he stuck his tongue out at Roy.
Roy smiled and sensually licked his lips in response.
"I'll gladly take that."
"Perv."
Roy winked, and the bathroom door closed with a slam.
'I can't wait to hear what his reaction is going-"
"ROY YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME! IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE!"
Roy face lit up with joy. He knew Ed wouldn't like it.
"Whatever do you mean my dear Edward..."
"I AM NOT FUCKING WEARING THIS!"
"Yes...you are...or we won't do anything..."
"FINE! I'LL FUCKING GO TO SLEEP! I AM NOT WEARING THIS! IT'S DEMEANING!"
Roy had to think, he didn't think Ed would actually not want to have sex...they hadn't done anything since well...last night..and for them that was a long time. He thought of something that might get Ed into the outfit. He thought of one thing, although it was a tiny bit cruel...but he needed to see Ed in it.
"Edward...if you don't put it on...I might just have to give Alphonse the cat back..."
He heard the movement in the bathroom stop, and then a sigh.
"Your a perverted bastard...fine."
Roy smiled with triumph. He wouldn't have actually given the cat back, that would have been cruel.
A few minutes past as Roy listened to Ed struggling to get the costume on.
"Roy...It's...on..."
"Good...now come on out, and we can get started...Maybe I'll let you be on top this time..."
"Bastard..."
"Sometimes..."
The bathroom door slowly opened and Ed's stepped into view.
"Well..."
Roy instantly felt his pants tighten.
"Ed..come over here..."
Ed walked over and Roy pulled him onto the bed, and the last thing the dark haired man whispered was.
"Edward, God, I Fucking Love Dog's"
~The End~