"Grab your gear!" called Agent Gibbs as he strode into the squad room of NCIS.
Agent DiNozzo was relatively new to Gibbs' team but he knew enough to jump to attention and seize his backpack.
"All your gear!" growled Gibbs.
Tony was momentarily stricken, "You're firing me already?"
This stopped Gibbs in his march to the elevator. "What?"
"You told me to get everything," explained Tony, "Sounded like you were firing me."
Gibbs' stare softened slightly, and he said patiently, as he would to a child, "I meant grab your go-bag as well as your backpack. We're going on a trip!"
Tony gulped and nodded … he thought back to the previous evening …
FLASHBACK
"Special Agent DiNozzo?"
Tony roused himself from the exhausted haze he was beginning to think was a permanent result of working with Special Agent Jethro Gibbs, "Huh?" he managed.
"I believe you are Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo? I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you yet," came the reply.
"Uh, yes," said Tony as he managed to focus on the elderly man standing in front of his desk.
"I'm Donald Mallard. I do hope you will forgive my tardiness in making myself known to you … I was on vacation and then I have been out of town on a Medical Examiners' Conference and was unable to make your acquaintance earlier …"
Tony found himself tuning out the rest of the conversation as he remembered what people had said about Ducky's love of talking. Then he realised that there was something that gossip had omitted,
"You're British! I mean, you know that already … but I didn't."
"Indeed, I am British … although I would say, more accurately, that I am of mostly Scottish descent. However, even as I say that, I realise that it is probably inaccurate to claim that I am of mostly Scottish descent as the Mallards are renowned for their travelling – and for their eclectic taste when it came to choosing life partners. On reflection, I can probably claim descent from a multitude of different nationalities and those nationalities are by no means restricted to Europeans. Why, I could tell …"
"My Mom was British," said Tony, deciding that Ducky was probably someone who was used to being interrupted, "And my Dad's parents were Italian."
"Ah," said Ducky, "Then you also are aware of what it means to have a complex genetic background."
There was something in Ducky's cultured voice that reminded Tony of his Great Uncle Clive and he found himself standing up out of respect,
"Dr Mallard," he said, "I'm pleased to meet you … your reputation precedes you."
Ducky beamed, "I didn't know about your British heritage," he said, "But now that you mention it I believe I can see it. You remind me of a dear friend I met at Edinburgh Medical School …"
He held out his hand. Tony fleetingly wondered where that hand had been but, reminding himself that he had held lots of dubious things in his career as a cop, grasped it firmly.
Ducky smiled again, "And please, call me Ducky. Everyone does."
"Thank you … Ducky."
"If I may say so, you look a little weary, my boy. But it is early days and I am sure that you will soon acclimatise to life on Jethro's team."
Tony looked askance at Ducky, thinking the older man must have hidden depths: Tony had almost forgotten that Gibbs had another name and had certainly never heard anyone use his given name. There seemed no response to Ducky's observation and Tony probably lacked the energy to provide one anyway.
The weeks since Tony's joining NCIS had flown by in a whirl of FLETC classes, HR meetings and physical training with Gibbs. That morning the paperwork had finally been completed and Tony had officially joined NCIS. Gibbs had given him the good news and then added the slightly menacing words, "You're mine now."
Gibbs had gone for the night leaving Tony sitting pensively at his desk wondering what he had let himself in for. It was that reverie that Ducky had interrupted.
"… I trust you are eating a balanced diet and getting adequate rest and relaxation," continued Ducky.
Tony stared at the doctor, wondering if perhaps he didn't know Gibbs very well after all – nobody who knew Gibbs would think that his team had time for relaxation.
"I have something for you," continued Ducky, unaware of Tony's musings. He held out a bag.
"Um, thank you," said Tony uncertainly as he took the tartan patterned duffle bag. "Er …"
"You'll be grateful, believe me," said Ducky. "Jethro is a great believer in a go-bag."
Tony searched his memory and remembered that, on his first day, Gibbs had mentioned the need for having a bag packed in case they got called away. In the frenetic activity of the days which had followed, Tony hadn't yet found time to assemble his bag.
"In my experience," continued Ducky serenely, "A goodly supply of clean underwear and warm dry socks is a great support when on an expedition with Jethro. Also, shirts, waterproofs, a sweater or two … washing accoutrements …"
Tony wondered if he had any washing accoutrements, but he got the point.
"… also a few power bars would be a wise addition. Although normally I would deprecate their consumption – but I am sure that you have already glimpsed how Jethro's dedication can cause a praiseworthy, if somewhat trying, focus on the task at hand."
Tony nodded fervently.
Ducky coughed, "I would suggest that you pack your bag tonight, Special Agent DiNozzo," he said meaningfully.
"Please," said Tony, "Call me Tony."
A spasm crossed Ducky's face, "Forgive me, I prefer to use the full name … which I concede is odd given that I am almost universally known by a nickname … although my dear Mother calls me Donald. But sadly, most people do not. Not of course that I mind being called Ducky … and indeed I just invited you to do so – and most sincerely, I assure you. Still, I do feel that as your parents took the trouble to name you Anthony …"
"Actually," said Tony, "They just named me after my Dad …"
"Indeed? Well, nevertheless the fact remains that they gave you the name Anthony …"
"Sure," said Tony who was finding Ducky tiring although fascinating, "Anthony it is."
"Excellent," said Ducky with the look of someone who has triumphed once more.
"And thank you for the duffle," said Tony, "I'm going to fill it tonight."
"I think that would be wise, Anthony," said Ducky with a knowing tap to the side of his nose.
END FLASHBACK
Gibbs gave Tony a brief nod of approval when he fished out the tartan bag from beneath his desk. Tony's heart swelled – those nods of approval were already what he yearned for from his Boss.
Four hours later, the helicopter they were on was coming in to land on an aircraft carrier in a stormy Atlantic Ocean.
"You OK?" asked Gibbs of Tony.
"Never better!" said Tony enthusiastically as the chopper swooped towards the ship.
Gibbs and his new agent spent two days on the USS Calvin Coolidge. Gibbs had only planned a brief stop but the storm which blew in prevented them leaving after they had interviewed a Petty Officer about a possible lead in a cold case.
"What do we do now, Boss?" asked Tony.
Gibbs grinned – a grin which Tony was learning to distrust. "Orientation."
"Excuse me?"
"It's your first time on a carrier. Get to know your way around. It's more complicated than you think."
Tony looked at Gibbs with a sinking feeling – it already felt complicated to him, so he was anxious about it being even more complicated, "On it, Boss," he said with the cheerful willingness that Gibbs found oddly endearing even if he wasn't sure how long it would last.
Tony spent the remainder of their stay on the tossing ship trying to find his way around. He had many false starts and inadvertently found his way into parts of the ship he suspected had not been visited since she was built but eventually he began to get the hang of it.
Towards the end of the second day, the weather cleared enough for them to be able to leave but Gibbs announced that the chopper wouldn't land but would lower a rope ladder for them to climb up. Tony looked at Gibbs suspiciously, suspecting that the US Navy had other solutions to problems like this but decided to go along with his Boss even though climbing a rope ladder in the windy conditions was not entirely appealing.
Tony's prowess as a Phys-Ed major meant that he made short work of the wobbly ascent. "Home now, Boss?" he asked once they were both on board.
"Nope," said Gibbs. "We've got someone else to interview … I've got us a ride in a cargo plane. Might be a bit rough."
Tony was somehow not surprised to learn that a bit rough was an understatement although Gibbs seemed to enjoy the Spartan nature of their accommodation on the C-130. He even seemed to be lulled to sleep by the aircraft's rocking in the turbulence. Tony wasn't lulled to sleep but he did fall asleep eventually after having treated himself to one of his power bars.
It seemed, that in pursuit of solving the cold case, Gibbs was prepared to visit every type of ship and aircraft used by the US Navy and Marine Corps and wasn't deterred by doing so at a time of extreme weather conditions. The ships became steadily smaller and even more prone to pitching and rolling as the days passed but Tony doggedly followed his Boss even as his supply of clean underwear and warm dry socks diminished.
Finally, Gibbs seemed to be satisfied and indicated that they could turn for home. Tony tried not to think it was because Gibbs' own supply of clean clothes was running out or, more likely, because he needed a coffee from his favourite barista. Tony always tried to look on the bright side and simply consoled himself that he would not need to start recycling his boxers.
When Gibbs and Tony arrived back at the Norfolk Navy Base, Tony found himself lurching unsteadily as his feet touched solid ground for the first time in the seven days since leaving the Navy Yard. Gibbs grabbed his arm,
"You OK?" he asked.
"I'm fine," said Tony automatically and then grinned when he realised that he meant it.
Gibbs grinned back and slapped him on the shoulder before pointing to a minibus standing by the gate, "That's our ride," he said, "Some Marines have been at the Navy Yard for a course. The bus is going to pick them up."
Tony nodded, wondering when Gibbs had found time to arrange this. They climbed aboard and sat opposite each other on the bench seats which ran along the sides of the bus. Tony fished his last two power bars from the duffel and offered one to Gibbs who shook his head and said,
"Ducky?"
"Excuse me?"
Gibbs pointed to the duffel, "Ducky give you that?"
"How did you know?"
Gibbs shrugged, "You didn't have it the day before we left. And the tartan sort of gives it away."
"I'd forgotten about it," admitted Tony. "He reminded me." He waited tensely for a possible outburst, but Gibbs shrugged again,
"He objected when I took Stan … the guy before you … without reminding him to get a bag ready."
"Ouch," said Tony, "What happened?"
"Stan managed," replied Gibbs, "He managed to grab a lady's travel razor from the Commissary … and two pairs of Mickey Mouse boxers."
Tony blinked at the thought that the Commissary on the Navy Yard had sold Mickey Mouse boxers and winced at the thought of using a woman's razor for a week – he had used one in an emergency before but thought he'd rather grow a beard.
"I ended up lending him one of my polo shirts," said Gibbs reminiscently, "But he stank by the end. Ducky called it cruel and inhumane."
After having been stuck with Gibbs for so many days, Tony had begun to relax a little in his company, "And you're surprised?" he asked.
Gibbs shrugged again, "He always had the best stocked go-bag on the Navy Yard after that."
Silence, except for the sound of Tony munching two power bars, fell and then he asked,
"Boss, was this a test?"
Gibbs raised an eyebrow.
"I mean, we didn't need to go to all those places, did we? The Navy has these radios and other ways of communicating with people on board ship."
"I guess … but it's something I do."
"What? See if I throw up?"
"Kinda."
"And if I had, would you have thrown me off the team?"
Gibbs looked honestly surprised, "No. Can't help getting motion sick. I just need to know what you can do … helps to know if you'll be sick on a carrier or a cargo plane … I like to anticipate."
"Oh," said Tony in a mollified tone, "That actually makes sense." He seemed to think that might not be tactful, "Not that everything you do doesn't make sense, Boss. I didn't mean that. I'm sure you always have a plan … 'cos …"
"Shut it, DiNozzo," said Gibbs as he closed his eyes.
"I wasn't sick, was I, Boss?" said Tony hopefully.
Gibbs' eyes opened again, "No," he agreed. "You'll do!"
Tony grinned and then suddenly turned green and vomited his power bars into Gibbs' lap.
…
"I'm sorry, Boss," said Tony for the hundredth time as the bus pulled into the Navy Yard. "I just get motion sick if I travel sideways … or backwards …"
Gibbs gazed somewhat grimly at Tony and then laughed. Somehow it summed DiNozzo up that he could cope with extreme weather but not with calm conditions.
TWO YEARS LATER
"Anthony!"
Tony paused in front of Security and waited for Ducky to catch up with him.
"Hi, Ducky! How you doing?"
Ducky tsked, "I am very well thank you, Anthony. You will forgive me if I do not say that I am doing well … the phraseology seems clumsy to me."
"Oh, OK. I'll try to remember that."
"That is not what I wanted to talk to you about, Anthony."
"OK. Knock yourself out."
Ducky tutted again, "That is something that you and your co-workers are more likely to do. But it does pertain to the matter I wish to discuss with you."
Tony shook his head as he tried to disentangle this but, wisely, didn't reply.
"I hear that you were playing squash last night …"
"Yes …"
"And that you took a nasty tumble during a prolonged rally."
"How …?"
"How do I know? Oh, dear boy, I have many sources that are beyond your ken …"
"What …?
"And in this case, it so happens that I was having a late repast with a friend in the restaurant overlooking the courts."
Tony decided to cut his losses, "It doesn't hurt much, Ducky. I don't think I did any damage. Look!" Tony swung his arm to demonstrate its mobility.
"Indeed. Nevertheless, you have only recently recovered from that broken collarbone … I would not have recommended the playing of such a vigorous game but, alas, I am sadly only too accustomed to having my medical advice disregarded …"
Tony bowed his head penitently, "I'm sorry, Ducky. But really, I think it's fine …"
"Nevertheless," said Ducky, "I think you should wear this sling for the rest of the day."
"Ducky!" whined Tony.
"It would please an old man very much to have his advice heeded," said Ducky with the hint of a tremor in his voice.
"Well …" said Tony, beginning to weaken.
"I think that is a wise decision," said Ducky with a sudden return to vigour, "And," he added slightly conspiratorially, "I don't think you will regret it!"
NCISNCIS
"Morning, Kate," said Tony as he walked into the squad room and saw the newest member of the team sitting at her desk. He observed a duffel decorated with skulls and crossbones sitting at her feet. "Abby?" he asked.
"Yes. She gave it me last night. Seemed to think it was important," said Kate.
"Ah," said Tony. He had been wondering how to broach the subject of a go-bag with Kate but had found it surprisingly difficult to broach the subject of what Kate should pack … somehow he thought she wouldn't appreciate him talking about her underwear.
Gibbs arrived at that moment, "Grab your gear!" he announced. "And your go-bag!"
Kate seized her bags and stood ready to go.
"You too, DiNozzo!" barked Gibbs. He paused and seemed to see Tony for the first time. "What the hell?" he demanded as he pointed at the sling.
"Oh," said Tony, "I hurt it last night. Ducky said I should wear the sling." He winced slightly as he touched it, "But I could take it off – if you want …"
Gibbs stared at him for a couple of seconds, "Ducky told you to wear that thing?" Tony nodded sadly. "Guess you'd better stay here then." The unsaid words were clear – Gibbs didn't want to go up against Ducky. "Hey, Kate! You waiting for an engraved invitation?" he roared again. Kate shook her head frantically in denial of such a mad idea. "Let's go then!" he ordered, "That cargo plane isn't going to wait for us!"
NCISNCIS
Later that day, Ducky was sitting peaceably in Autopsy completing his final report when he heard the doors swish open.
"Evening, Ducky," said Tony.
"Ah, Anthony! How are you? I see you are still wearing your sling …"
"Seemed a good idea. I've been doing a lot of video conferencing with Gibbs and Kate …"
"Most wise," nodded Ducky, "And where are your esteemed co-workers?"
"On the USS Enterprise in a force 6 storm," said Tony.
"Ah. Am I to understand that dear Caitlin is being … tested?"
"As if you didn't know!"
Ducky smiled modestly, "You may be right. You may be right. I hear things, you know."
"You and Abby. She alerted Kate to the go-bag last night."
"We thought it best," said Ducky calmly. "Somehow I don't think Caitlin would appreciate being deprived of the basics for a prolonged period of time."
"No," said Tony trying to picture the mayhem, "Gibbs might meet his match if that happened."
"Indeed. And I don't think Caitlin would want to wear one of Gibbs' polo shirts."
Tony laughed.
"And what is that that you are holding behind your back?" asked Ducky.
"It's a thank you gift," said Tony.
"For what do you need to say thank you, Anthony?" asked Ducky innocently.
"For saving me," said Tony, "Gibbs was going to take me with him until he saw the sling … I did it once but that was enough!"
"Quite understandable, dear boy," said Ducky, "Although I would advise that you stay alert for renewed danger if Jethro adds any new members to your team."
"Thanks, Ducky, I'll bear that in mind," promised Tony, "Maybe I'll get the other teams on standby to need my help urgently."
"I think that would be wise."
"And this isn't just for looking out for me today," said Tony, "I don't think I ever really said thank you for the go-bag all that time ago."
"It was entirely my pleasure," said Ducky, "And there is no need for thanks," he paused, "… although I would be most interested to see what you have brought."
Tony grinned and held out a plant.
"And what is this?" asked a surprised Ducky.
"It's a clematis – it's a …"
"It's a climbing plant," said Ducky, "I believe its true name is …"
"It's from England," said Tony, "The guy in the shop said it can overrun things so it's best to keep it in a pot …"
"I see … may I ask why you chose this particular plant, Anthony? Although, of course, I am most grateful and will undertake to tend it most solicitously."
Tony looked momentarily embarrassed, "'Cos of its name – it's called Travellers' Joy! And somehow, I think that's what you arranged for me!"
Ducky beamed, "Well, that is wonderfully appropriate, Anthony. Well done!"
"And," said Tony, "The plant isn't the real gift …"
"Indeed? And what else have you thought of?"
"I thought perhaps I could take you out to dinner tonight … you know, while we're Gibbs-free."
"Splendid! I accept wholeheartedly …"
"And …"
"And? This is all very generous … you don't need to do anything more, Anthony!" protested Ducky.
"And," said Tony doggedly, "I'll let you order for me. Something nutritious."
Ducky jumped up and grabbed his hat and coat, "This is an offer not to be spurned! Let us go immediately. Before you get a call from some remote outpost to which Jethro has made his way and is harassing its innocent inhabitants!"
And without further ado, that is what they did.
As always, I should say that the characters aren't mine and they are safely back in their boxes – Ducky and Tony well fed … Kate and Gibbs less so!