Title: We All Float On
Author: Arisprite
Summary: There comes a moment, when you've just been in the water too long.
Warnings: Spoilers for pretty much the whole series, and Sam angst.
A/N: My new job involves a ton of swimming, so water tends to be on my mind, and this prompt came up in a prompt list, so this happened. Just a little thing for now, but there are at least four other ideas I'm working on at the moment.
There comes a moment, when you've just been in the water too long. When your arms are spaghetti noodles, when your legs feel like they have anvils attached to your ankles. Your breath comes in gasps, and all you can do is look around desperately for something something to grab on to.
Then, if nothing is there, you tiredly, slowly roll onto your back, to simply float. Your head is tilted back, exposing the soft parts of your throat and belly, your arms and legs are spread eagled and relaxed. It's a resting position, a waiting position, until you can gather your strength and swim again. You could stay in it forever, but you'll have no idea the direction you'll drift.
Many times over the years had been floating time for Sam. After Jess had been killed. After their father had died, and Sam had felt not only his own grief, but the nearly immobilizing worry for Dean, who seemed to take it so much harder. When he'd been sure he was going to turn into a monster, a demon-blooded killer, barely human. When he'd been proven right, when addiction had nearly done him in. When Dean had died. Lucifer. Cas. Bobby. Dean vanishing in the wake of a battle.
Floating was all he could do at times, or the panicked treading would start to drown him. Floating was what let him drive, move on to the next town, the next hunt. Let him get enough sleep to function, and eat enough to fight the next monster. Let him survive.
Floating had saved him. But there comes a time, when you have to stop. You have to roll back over, get your eyes and nose and mouth under the water, tasting the crap you're swimming in, and start fighting your way forwards again. Sam, alone again, swallowed, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and dove.