A/N

Please visit the bottom of the page for warnings (and spoilers) related to this story.

...

The brown Volvo makes a choked grinding noise when he turns off the ignition and Severus observes with dismay how the shifter seems to move from side to side on its own accord.

The sudden and relative silence covers his ears like cotton and he sits there quite still for a moment and contemplates the tranny mount, which surely must be disintegrated by now and is in dire need of a replacement. It's been like that for quite some time. He just hasn't had the energy to do anything about it lately and spares are expensive.

The driver's seat creaks a little as he unfolds his legs to get out and when the door slams it isn't muted like on new cars, but a sharp, metallic crack. The only other sounds he can hear, however, are from the wind that is hardly strong enough to move a newspaper.

The streets of Cokeworth are littered with old soda cans, candy wrappings, and plastic bags, all covered by a thick layer of dust from the factory. Severus locks the car and adjusts his jacket over his shoulders, using the movement to take a surreptitious glance behind his back. This late in August, the evenings are already getting dark and walking this area by night means he's always keeps an eye on his surroundings.

He's not a skinny, bottom-of-the-pecking-order boy anymore. He's a grown arse man, already pushing forty, with considerable and hard-won experience. Some of the kids in his classes might say he's the meanest teacher in school, but there you are. Old habits die hard.

He crosses the street towards the last of the two-story brick houses, only casting a brief glance towards the next building, where light from the windows casts shades into the alley in between. A small shape skitters out from behind a trash bin and steals away in the direction of the river. He thinks it's a fox, but it's hard to tell for sure without his glasses on and then there's a soft noise behind him that distracts him.

"Where've you been out so late?"

The voice is slightly squeaky even though its owner is the same age as he is. Severus was expecting it, so it doesn't startle him.

"Don't tell me you've been on a date?"

Pete, his neighbour, peeks out from the stained glass of his window and makes a nasal, almost giggly sound. Even in his best moments, the guy is a huge geek. He works in IT or something similar that Severus can't really wrap his head around, but that shite somehow earns him enough money to drive a fairly new Merc.

Why he's still living in this dump despite of that is a mystery for all of humanity to solve. It can't be for the sake of good company.

"Don't be an idiot." Severus squints against the light as he approaches. He's inclined to think that this is the most human interaction the bloke has had all day, but then again, the same can be said of him.

Don't throw stones and all that crap.

"You've been working then." Pete sniffs, like it's something that disgusts him. "Should consider a switch. Those kids wear you out."

"The kids won't be back until the first."

Severus manages not to roll his eyes. Pete spends most his free time playing games on his computer and can't really be bothered with whatever exists outside the confines of his own cyber-world. Severus has never met anyone else with their head floating so high up in the sky, but Pete's all right, really. He's quiet and mostly unobtrusive.

Besides, being anti-social is something Severus can immediately relate to.

"But yes," he says, a little gentler. "I was at work. I'll have a new set this term and I needed to make some calls and write some letters."

Some of the kids from around the block have families that doesn't fully appreciate the value of public education. Or any kind of education, for that matter.

"I see." Pete looks him up and down. "Wanna grab a beer?"

Severus turns around to face the street. It's almost impossible to tell, but he thinks old Mrs. Figg, a widow living straight across, is watching them from behind a lacy curtain. He sighs as the streetlight above them flickers.

"I don't know... I'm shot."

He just wants to go home and put on the telly to watch something mindless and disappear deep into the cushions of his tattered, old sofa.

"Aw, c'mon. Since when did you say no to a drink?" Pete leans further out to place a cigarette between his large front teeth. There's a whole pile of stumps and used matches beneath his window, and Mrs. Figg is always giving it the Evil Eye when she crosses the street to pass between Pete and Severus' houses on her way to the playground by the river bank.

Severus never goes back there anymore, but he knows from the old days that there's a bus stop on the other side of it. Mrs Figg is retired, but she plays bingo every day downtown.

When Pete lights up, the smoke blows straight in through his window, but he doesn't seem to mind. He waves his hand half-heartedly while extending the package of Pall Malls.

"Fag?"

"Thanks, no." Severus shakes his head. "I quit. You should too."

Pete's normally protruding eyes widen even further. "No way," he says with conviction. "Keeps me fit and sharp, this stuff."

"Right. I'm sure." He does roll his eyes now. Pete can be such a dunderhead sometimes.

"Wait and see." Pete coughs into his hand. "You'll pack on twenty pounds in no time, then you have to pick it up again to still have a shot in the flesh market. I've been there alright, I know."

"Fuck you, Pettigrew." Severus shoots him two fingers.

Pete shrugs. "Never tell me I didn't warn you."

"At least my teeth won't be as ugly as yours."

That just makes Pete laugh. "I'm sorry to break it to you, mate, but I'm afraid it's a little too late for that."

Neither of them are really equipped to enter beauty contests, it isn't much of a secret. Pete has a pointy nose, long, sandy hair with a bald patch, and a bit of a double chin. Severus can't remember the last time this guy brought a lass home with him, but he thinks it must have been sometime around ninety-two or ninety-three. In the first half of this decade, certainly.

In other words, he's just as single as Severus is.

Pete suddenly stills then, the cigarette hanging limply between his lips. "Oh, crap," he mutters, "the old harridan's coming."

He slams the window shut the moment Mrs Figg appears and Severus gets the brunt of her tirade. He's almost expecting her to whack him over the head with her cane when Pete finally opens the door and drags him inside his house with a clumsy bow and a mumbled, "'Evening, Mrs Figg."

She delivers a few crass words in a brogue accent and turns on her heel. For some odd reason she seems to enjoy tearing pieces out of her younger, shaggier neighbours. It's almost as though she thinks it's past their bedtime and that it's her responsibility to put them straight.

Or maybe she just craves the company. Severus can't really tell the difference with Figg.

Inside, Pete's house is a relic from the 1960s. There are even pictures of the elderly couple that lived there before him in the hall, although he's had the presence of mind to replace them in the lounge and what is now his 'gaming room'. There, he has posters of various underground bands and movies that Severus has never even heard about. Pete can talk about them tirelessly for hours on end, but Severus is good at zoning out on those occasions. It's a skill that comes with his job.

They sink into a deep sofa and Pete puts his feet on the coffee table. There's already two unopened beers on it and Severus takes one gratefully. At least he never goes dry when coming over.

"Wanna order pizza?"

It's the best idea he's heard in ages, but Severus hesitates. "I've got no money now," he says. "Payday's a week away."

"Oh." Pete frowns and shifts his legs off the table again. "I've got a couple of frozen ones in the basement. You want some?"

Severus perks up. He hasn't exactly been looking forward to the nearly week-old casserole in his fridge. In fact, he almost fears it has started to move out of there on its own accord. "Yeah, that would be great. I'm starved."

"Sure." Pete walks into the kitchen to put the oven on and when he's back, he's brought a couple more beers as well. They eat their pizzas while watching an old episode of Doctor Who that Pete has on VCR. The picture quality is awful, but Severus isn't really familiar with the show anyway and he's content to plow through his pastrami and ham in silence.

When the episode is over, Pete starts rambling about a girl he's into at work and Severus leans back into the sofa. He finds he's a better listener with a full belly and grows slightly impressed with Pete's newest interest, who is a computer engineer and apparently builds her own PCs. He can certainly see where the attraction is coming from.

But after a while Pete starts to look a little sullen. "Who am I kidding," he says after a pause in their conversation, "it isn't like I'll manage to woo her in any case." He looks up from his lap, askance. "I don't know how you land those dates of yours, or what they see in you, but if you'd like to share, Sevy, I'm all ears."

"I- what?" Severus nearly startles. "You're joking, right?"

"Don't be like that." Pete scoffs. "What about that gorgeous brunette?" He scrunches up his nose. "Come to think of it, I haven't seen her for some time. You guys broke off?"

"Christ, no. We're not-"

"Oh, come on." Pete snorts ungracefully. "I've heard her from your bedroom. Never even knew women could make noises like that." He grins. "Or maybe it was you?"

Severus' cheeks heat. "No, Pete. It isn't like that at all..."

But really, what's he supposed to say? That Bella is married? That she is a swinger? That she has…eclectic tastes in the bedroom and that her husband apparently gets off on her seeing other men?

Nah.

"She's just a…friend," he settles on. "With…benefits."

To be honest, it has been mostly about the benefits so far and much less of a friendship. All securely on Bella's premises. Tom, her husband, can be a little scary at times and Severus is always wary of pushing any of their buttons.

"How old is she anyway?" Pete asks. "She hardly looks a day over thirty."

Severus scoffs. "Get real. She's forty-five, or close to that. Has a teenaged daughter."

"Oh."

Pete looks like he's overthinking it, so Severus casts his eyes around for a distraction. He notices an envelope with his name on it on the coffee table, amidst a whole pile of other papers. He leans over with a soft grunt and picks it up.

"Is that for me?"

"Oh, yeah. I brought your mail in." Pete opens a new beer with a click-and-fizz and moves a cushion from behind his back. "That Dursley kid has started to put fireworks in the letterboxes again." He points at the table. "There are others there for you as well."

"Thanks." Severus reaches for a pile to shift through. It's mostly bills, God help him, but a simple dispatch with hand-written address catches his attention. He flips it around. It's clearly sent by a woman.

"What's this?"

Pete glances over and quirks an eyebrow in recognition. "Oh. You got one of those as well."

"Obviously." Severus opens it impatiently. "Who is it from?"

"No idea." Pete shrugs. "I threw mine away. Might be from the government."

Severus can't help but smile a little as he puts his glasses on. "You're far too paranoid, you twat. No wonder you're single. What if it's something important?"

Pete looks a little shifty. "I fail to see the connection between unopened mail and getting laid," he says, eying the now unfolded letter in Severus' hands. "You do know that Yeltsin still has anthrax in stock, right?"

When he doesn't reply, Pete shifts closer to peek over his shoulder. "Is it important?"

Severus clears his throat before he speaks, but his voice breaks a little anyway. "I'm invited to a school reunion."

Pete stills. "Wait, what? Which school?"

"Secondary." Severus looks up and he can see his own horror reflected in Pete's eyes. "Which means you're invited too."

Pete pales. He drags a hand over his long forehead. "No way, mate," he says. "There's no way in hell I'm attending that." He makes a grab for the letter and crumples it in one hand. "Why did you even open it?"

Severus makes to take it back, but Pete pushes him away and he's surprisingly strong. "We'll throw it away," he says quickly. "Pretend it never happened. They won't notice if we aren't there anyway."

"No." Severus scowls. "Give that here, Pete, I wasn't finished. What if I want to go?"

"Hah." Pete unfolds the crumpled paper anyway. "You're not serious," he says absently while his eyes darts over the page. "If I'm already freaking out, then you should be-"

He breaks off, as though belatedly realising what he's implying. Their eyes meet and for a moment, eleven years of a not-so-amicable relationship in their schooldays hangs between them. Severus looks away first, and Pete sighs.

"Hey, Sorry. I didn't-"

"Don't worry about it." Severus waves him off. "That shite, it was…it was all a long time ago."

"Yeah..." Pete frowns. "Yeah, I guess it was."

Back in the days, Pete was in a gang with some of the coolest kids in school, a few of which had gone to great lengths to make Severus' life difficult. It isn't even like Pete was the worst of them. At all. But there has been more times than one when their paths have crossed and Pete had gained the upper hand, well backed by his mates. It was only as adults, when Pete moved into the neighbouring house, that they got to know one another. It had taken a full year of scowling and growling on Severus' part until Pete one day knocked on his door with a bottle of whiskey and a softly uttered, 'Sorry, man. I was an idiot. Wanna grab a beer?'

And hell, he couldn't blame the guy forever. He's probably had to act a certain way to keep up appearances. Severus thinks he might have done the same thing if their situations had been reversed.

With Pete distracted, he manages to reclaim the letter. He straightens out the wrinkles Pete made to re-read the whole thing.

"Ugh," he groans. "It says we're supposed to bring a significant other. Kill me."

"Ouch." There's a wince in Pete's voice. He leans forward on his elbows, resigned. "I think I'll just reschedule my holiday and travel far away. When is this thing anyway?"

Severus shakes his head. "In a month."

Pete snorts and gets off the sofa, but Severus remains seated with the letter still on his knee. He's a step ahead of Pete perhaps, because in his mind, he's already composing a list of things he needs to fix about himself if he's going to attend.

The top four include,

One: Get a 'significant other'.

That was already on his agenda, but he supposes it's time to up the stakes.

Two: Get a haircut.

Maybe the easiest one to achieve, but nevertheless not to be forgotten.

Three: Hit the gym.

Okay, so maybe Pete is right about the smoking, after all. He already regrets eating an entire pizza by himself and his arms can definitely do with some toning.

Four: Find out if Lily Evans will be there.

There are other things for sure, like moving out of his childhood home, and getting a job that's better paid, but they're not easily accomplished on such a short notice. That, and point four is by far the one that intrigues him the most.

He might even go as far as to say that it's pivotal to the others.

…..

A/N

Content warnings (contains spoilers)

This is a non-magical AU, starring Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius and Regulus Black, Bellatrix Lestrange (here she's Bellatrix Riddle), and others. When I say AU, I mean it! Most events in the Harry Potter books never occurred. This is not a story for children, but it is meant to be light-hearted and will contain a happy ending for all involved parties. Additional warnings include (but are not limited to):

Mention of rape of a sixteen or seventeen-year old

Descriptions of rough sexual intercourse between adults

Brawling

Swearing

Some aspects might be interpreted as cheating/infidelity

Divorce

Severus has a sort-of relationship to another (married) woman in the first few chapters, and Lily is married to James. The rest lies firmly in Snily territory.

New chapters follow at the pace they fall out of my head, which isn't exactly at lightning speed. I only write for fun and when I have the time.

Oh, and Harry Potter never lived past the age of one. I think that's all.