Warning: Sam fangirls stay away! There is much Sam bashing in this random little poem...
Nutrigrain and Fruitspray have VERY random minds...
Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, and thankfullly I don't own Sam either.
What Could Have Happened Outside the Black Gate
Sam and Frodo sat outside the Black Gate,
For it to open up they did await,
"I must slide down that hill!" Sam let out a cry,
"Please, Frodo sir, or I swear I shall die!"
"Sam, you'll die if you slide!" Frodo said,
"You're not that much use but you're even less dead."
"Oh, please, Mr. Frodo! Why can't I slide?
I'll be quick and be quiet, and besides!"
"Of course not, Sam Gamgee! We're trying to hide!
You'll make too much racket because you're so wide!"
But Samwise was stubborn. He rolled in the dirt.
He slid- and guess what? The hobbit got hurt.
He screamed and he shrieked, he wailed for his mum,
But unknown to him, his actions were dumb,
The orcs and the uruks were so much appalled
At the way the fat creature continued to squall,
That they lured him inside of the ominous gate,
With promise of cookies they already ate.
"No, Sam!" Frodo shouted. But it was too late.
The stupid fat hobbit had gone through the gate.
Outside of Mordor, where shadows lie,
Gollum and Fro heard a sickening cry,
The fat stupid hobbit had not cooperated,
And as a result he was decapitated.
This was the story of Sam-not-so-wise,
His actions were reckless and so he had died,
He caused lots of trouble for Gollum and Fro
And the rest of the helpless Fellowship fellows,
So everyone died in anger and hate,
Because of what happened outside the Black Gate.
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