A/N: A fic for LJ's Callope's Pen for the prompt "The Master and the Doctor stumble across vampires." If anyone would like to request fic (Doctor Who, Merlin, Firefly, 10th Kingdom, Jeeves and Wooster (but I'm not promising that much on this one)) or icons (Doctor Who only, sorry) there are still three open spaces in the meme. Link to my LJ in my profile.
It was supposed to be a quick trip out of the TARDIS, a little thank-you-Master-for-not-trying-to-kill-me-or-take-over-the-universe-or-being-a-general-bastard gift. There was a museum opening in New York that involved fancy dress and enough alcohol and artifacts to keep them both happy.
"Now you're not the prettiest one in the room," the Master said smugly, straightening his tie as the fourth woman that night let her eyes linger on him longer than was necessarily polite.
The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Did you just call me pretty?"
"I'll call you pretty," a woman purred as she walked by. The Doctor spluttered a bit before awkwardly waving her off and the Master couldn't help but think if she had been blonde the Doctor might have flirted a bit. The Doctor always was a slut for blondes.
"Well," the Master said, suddenly finding his good mood inexplicably gone. "I'll just poke around a bit and you can go off and do whatever you find fun with these humans."
"Oh?" the Doctor asked, just as surprised by his mood change as the Master was. "Really?"
The Master didn't answer and wandered off to find some Champaign. The Doctor frowned but turned in the other direction, only glancing back once.
_
The Master was good at mingling. There was so much more work he had put into becoming the Prime Minister than just evil plots and mind control. There was still a lot of parties he had to attend. He had been lucky, however, because he had Lucy on his arm then. Sweet little Lucy who would never said no to sneaking into their hosts bedrooms and dirtying the place up a bit.
"I know that face," a voice said and the Master turned to see the woman from before standing beside him, holding up two full glasses of wine. "It's never a good one."
"Just remembering the past," the Master replied, accepting the drink.
"What was her name?" the woman asked before tipping her head. "Or... his name? The man you came in with?"
"Lucy," the Master said, fully aware that the Doctor would never have chosen a place where the Saxons would be recognized. "Used to be my wife."
"That's the way the world's going, isn't it?" the woman said with a sigh. "If I could tell you how many men I've had to... well, anyway. Last one chose his cat over me."
"She shot me," the Master replied, quickly swallowing the wine to block out the rest of that memory.
The woman winced. "Ouch. Blood's messier than cat hair, that's for sure."
"Hmm," the Master hummed, eyeing the woman's figure. Her long dark hair curled about her pale face and her eyes had a spark that announced she wouldn't be completely boring. And the looks she was sending him meant that she wouldn't mind spending a part of the evening in very close quarters.
"This might be a bit forward," she finally said, moving forward smoothly, "But you strike me as a man who likes to cut to the chase."
"What kind of chase?"
"The kind that ends with a quickie in the spare bedroom we both pretend never happened an hour from now?"
"My kind of chase," the Master agreed. He snagged the other wine glass out of her hand and emptied it for her, placing it on the table as a dainty hand came to her red lips to hide her amused laughter. "After you."
"Such a gentleman," she murmured, even as they made no attempt at exchanging names as she led him up the stars and down one wing of the balcony. The Master thought he saw the Doctor milling around down there, but he forcefully made sure he didn't care.
As soon as they were through the final set of doors the woman attached herself to the Master's lips as he let his hands wander appreciatively down her body. She broke apart to tug on his die, leading him to the bed were she promptly pushed him down. He backed onto the bed and she slipped out of her shoes so she could straddle him.
"Lie back," she whispered into his ear before nuzzling a path down his jaw towards his neck.
"Oh no," the Master said as her tongue began to sweep the skin she uncovered after loosening his tie and collar. "You're not allowed to go down there."
"Why? Got marks you don't want me to see?" she teased, slightly breathless before attempting it again.
This time the Master held her back firmly as she frowned at him. "No, I just don't want a vampire anywhere near my neck."
"What-" the woman began before her eyes narrowed. "When?"
"Moment I was downwind of you," the Master replied, sighing as she angrily slid off him. "Look, it wasn't a deal breaker for me!"
"You knew I was a vampire," the woman said, pulling off her dress. "You didn't think this was dangerous?"
"Why do I get the feeling you're not taking off your clothes for reasons I'll enjoy?"
"It might blow my cover if I return to the party with my dress covered in blood," she replied before leaping at him, her teeth elongating. The Master darted off the bed and she twisted to follow him, practically flying through the air to reach him. He caught her wrist as she landed and pinned her to the wall, using his Time Lord strength to overpower her.
"Oh, now look at that," the Master breathed as she struggled underneath him, the dark red jewel on her neck flashing. "That's not costume, is it?"
"When I escape-" she hissed, but the Master shook his head.
"Don't worry. You won't," he said, preparing to reach into his pocket for his screwdriver before he realied the Doctor had insisted on leaving it in the TARDIS. Perfect.
"Foolish human, you don't who you're dealing with," the woman sneered, frowning when he laughed.
"Evidently, neither do you," he replied before leaning forward. "I'm not human."
Her eyes widened and the Master used the distraction to slam her head into the wall, causing her eyes to roll back into her head. Not entire sure how long she was going to be out, the Master tied her to the bed using the curtain strings and removed her necklace.
Return, it suddenly hummed in his hand. One of the guests is going to ruin our plan.
"I wonder which one that would be?" the Master muttered, stealing out of the room. He returned to the balcony to see the Doctor planted in front of a statue made of the same dark red material as the necklace's stones. Three other women surrounded the Doctor, their dark hair arranged in various ways.
"You are no match for the four of us," one of the woman was telling the Doctor, a sneer curling her lips.
"Too bad there's only three," the Master announced as he leaned over the railing in what he thought was a rather good entrance. The Doctor's eyes flashed gratefully to his. "The last one's a bit indisposed at the moment."
One of the women growled and her hand flew to the bracelet on her arm with the telltale red stone. The Master noted the matching earrings and watch on the remaining two women.
Get down here, we need-
"Oh, now that's not going to work," the Master said, holding up the necklace. "She's not going to get your message."
One of the women hissed and began making her way across the room towards the staircase, glaring with deadly intent at the Master.
"Master!" the Doctor shouted, throwing something through the air. The Master caught it before grinning. A sonic screwdriver. Excellent.
He adjusted the setting before holding it up to the necklace and pressing the button. The Master grinned in delight as the jewel quickly amplified the sound and beamed it directly into the vampires' heads. They dropped to the ground clutching their ears and the Doctor used to the distraction to grab the dark statue as the Master darted down the stairs towards him.
"That was fun," the Doctor said brightly, grabbing the Master's hands as he came close and pulling him out the door. They bolted for the TARDIS, running a bit faster as they heard the irritated screeches of the recovering vampires. By the time the women had staggered to the door the TARDIS was fading away from the street and the first UNIT vehicle pulled up beside the museum. The vampires glanced at each other and scattered into the night.
-
"You smell like a vampire," the Doctor said, wrinkling his nose once he hid the statue somewhere in the TARDIS. The stone had psychic qualities and he still wasn't sure the Master wouldn't use it for mass hypnosis as soon as he got bored.
"All part of my cunning plan," the Master replied.
"And this plan had nothing to do with defeating vampires, did it?" the Doctor replied knowingly. The Master raised his eyebrows in what had to be a mysterious manner before sauntering out of the console room. The Master glanced behind as he turned the corner and was quite pleased to see the Doctor ogling his arse as he walked away.
Maybe tonight wasn't a complete waste.