Newsflash: Prince Jonathan's Many Affairs
I'm BAACCKKK!!!! Yeah! With another really messed up newsflash. Thanks to those of you who reviewed for my "Newsflash: Thayet Breaks a Nail" fic. I'm putting these as separate fics...should I just combine the two or no? Please tell me in your reviews. Enjoy!
Hello. I'm Eda Ekinson, back from your favorite news group, the Tortallan Times. Here is another fascinating newsflash from that messed up country called Tortall. Now I will hand it to Tim Thomas, another reporter. He will give you live coverage.
Tim: Hello again! *his arm is in a big sling and his nose is crooked* I'm back in Tortall for another report. This time we're going to interview Prince Jonathan of Conte about his recent affairs. Please give it up for your very own Jonathan!
*cheering*
Jon: *strolls onto screen, slowly, smiling and waving. He walks right up to Tim." Oh, its you again! I don't like you.....
Tim: Wow, you people sure know how to hold a grudge! Sheesh! Well, what's done is done and what's said is said. Let's put up a good front for the show, then you can beat the shit outta me in private after the show, ok?
Jon: *grins evilly* ok! Sounds PERFECT!
Tim: Alritey then. Jon, who is your most recent lover?
Jon: Umm...its hard to keep track.....I think its Arynn of Malox. Or is it Jenni of Darkmoon? I don't remember. Was it Jessi of Dragon's Cove? No....she was SOOO last week!
Tim: OOOOK then. Jon, about how many people do you be a week?
Jon: ummm about 10, I think. Lets just say more than one a day.
Tim: what do you have to say for yourself? This is terrible behavior coming from a prince, who will one day have to rule a kingdom. And the worst part of it is-you don't even LOVE the girls you bed! Ewww!!! You are like-a male version of a slut! That is nasty stuff!
Jon: And just how would you know hmmm???? I'll bet my kingdom that you're still a virgin!
King Roald: *yelling from somewhere offscreen* Its not you're kingdom yet, sonny boy! I still gotta croak first!
Tim: *turns beet red* So? I'm not denying it! I AM a virgin!
Jon: HAHAHAAA!!!! Ohh....this will be SOOO fun! Ladies? What do ya say to an extra mattress tennis session after the show? You'll just have to teach Mr. Tim here how to play! *about 14 beautiful ladies appear on the screen, all eyeing up Tim appreciatively*
Tim: *again turns the color of a tomato, but is prideful that the women like his appearance* umm... I don't think that's such a good idea.....
Jon: Oh! So now you're SCARED! MWAHAHAAA!!! Screw waiting until after the show! Lets get him NOW!!! *all the ladies run towards Tim, who runs screeching off the screen.* Well, now I don't have to worry about him anymore! Annoying bastard...butting into my personal business. So what if I like to...have fun...every night? I'll bet most of you viewers do to! Geez...I'm human, even if I'm really hot and all the ladies think I'm a god-I'm still technically human! Hey....I think I should be named, "God of the Mattress"! Yeah! That's great! I'll go tell Daddy that I need a new crown and a new chamber with an extra-large bed in it! MWAHAHAAA! I'm outta here! *Jon runs off the screen, and the scene goes back to Eda.
Eda: Wow, he's hot. I wouldn't mind playing mattress tennis with a hottie like him! Ok, well, sorry, I got to go if I want to catch a nice, long session with *stares longingly* Jonny. *sighs* That's all for today, join us for more interviews later!
Sorry that was kinda(ok I lied) REALLY gross. Sorry if anyone is offended/whatever. Please review I want to know how I'm doing and if you ppl like it or not! Thanks for reading!
Thanks,
~Dewdrop~ Ü ü
I'm BAACCKKK!!!! Yeah! With another really messed up newsflash. Thanks to those of you who reviewed for my "Newsflash: Thayet Breaks a Nail" fic. I'm putting these as separate fics...should I just combine the two or no? Please tell me in your reviews. Enjoy!
Hello. I'm Eda Ekinson, back from your favorite news group, the Tortallan Times. Here is another fascinating newsflash from that messed up country called Tortall. Now I will hand it to Tim Thomas, another reporter. He will give you live coverage.
Tim: Hello again! *his arm is in a big sling and his nose is crooked* I'm back in Tortall for another report. This time we're going to interview Prince Jonathan of Conte about his recent affairs. Please give it up for your very own Jonathan!
*cheering*
Jon: *strolls onto screen, slowly, smiling and waving. He walks right up to Tim." Oh, its you again! I don't like you.....
Tim: Wow, you people sure know how to hold a grudge! Sheesh! Well, what's done is done and what's said is said. Let's put up a good front for the show, then you can beat the shit outta me in private after the show, ok?
Jon: *grins evilly* ok! Sounds PERFECT!
Tim: Alritey then. Jon, who is your most recent lover?
Jon: Umm...its hard to keep track.....I think its Arynn of Malox. Or is it Jenni of Darkmoon? I don't remember. Was it Jessi of Dragon's Cove? No....she was SOOO last week!
Tim: OOOOK then. Jon, about how many people do you be a week?
Jon: ummm about 10, I think. Lets just say more than one a day.
Tim: what do you have to say for yourself? This is terrible behavior coming from a prince, who will one day have to rule a kingdom. And the worst part of it is-you don't even LOVE the girls you bed! Ewww!!! You are like-a male version of a slut! That is nasty stuff!
Jon: And just how would you know hmmm???? I'll bet my kingdom that you're still a virgin!
King Roald: *yelling from somewhere offscreen* Its not you're kingdom yet, sonny boy! I still gotta croak first!
Tim: *turns beet red* So? I'm not denying it! I AM a virgin!
Jon: HAHAHAAA!!!! Ohh....this will be SOOO fun! Ladies? What do ya say to an extra mattress tennis session after the show? You'll just have to teach Mr. Tim here how to play! *about 14 beautiful ladies appear on the screen, all eyeing up Tim appreciatively*
Tim: *again turns the color of a tomato, but is prideful that the women like his appearance* umm... I don't think that's such a good idea.....
Jon: Oh! So now you're SCARED! MWAHAHAAA!!! Screw waiting until after the show! Lets get him NOW!!! *all the ladies run towards Tim, who runs screeching off the screen.* Well, now I don't have to worry about him anymore! Annoying bastard...butting into my personal business. So what if I like to...have fun...every night? I'll bet most of you viewers do to! Geez...I'm human, even if I'm really hot and all the ladies think I'm a god-I'm still technically human! Hey....I think I should be named, "God of the Mattress"! Yeah! That's great! I'll go tell Daddy that I need a new crown and a new chamber with an extra-large bed in it! MWAHAHAAA! I'm outta here! *Jon runs off the screen, and the scene goes back to Eda.
Eda: Wow, he's hot. I wouldn't mind playing mattress tennis with a hottie like him! Ok, well, sorry, I got to go if I want to catch a nice, long session with *stares longingly* Jonny. *sighs* That's all for today, join us for more interviews later!
Sorry that was kinda(ok I lied) REALLY gross. Sorry if anyone is offended/whatever. Please review I want to know how I'm doing and if you ppl like it or not! Thanks for reading!
Thanks,
~Dewdrop~ Ü ü